"Just... at least for a day... can I love you?"

I really want to kiss him. Seeing Riley display his feelings so openly and honestly and looking so hurt, Eran's heart pounded and he struggled to breathe. He sighed shakily.

They sat silently for a while as Eran tried to calm down and process his thoughts. Finally, he asked, "Would you really be satisfied with one day? Do you honestly think that will bring some sort of finality?"

"Just stop. Stop stop stop stop."

"I know this is something you don't want to hear but—"

"Stop. Stop. Ssstoooppp," Riley whined. He looked at Eran, slightly trembling. "How long? How old do I have to be?"

Eran was silent. He didn't have an answer.

"When I'm not a high school student anymore?"

"..."

"At 20?"

"..."

"25?"

"..."

"Dammit, when?! When can I love you?! When?" Riley stood up looking hurt and annoyed; he quickly wiped away a tear.

Eran got up and walked to the living room. Mind reeling, he closed his eyes. "I don't know." I just don't know. What's the right thing to do?

"Why is this so hard?! Just let me love you and you love me." Riley followed Eran.

Eran collapsed onto the sofa and covered his face, finally able to word his thoughts. "Do you realize that I'm struggling too? You're here in front of me and completely open but laying a finger on you feels like a huge sin."

"Eran. Things don't have to be complicated," Riley said more gently. "We shouldn't make ourselves suffer. If anyone finds out about us, I'll protect you. So be with me."

Damn it. I want to. But... it's so scary. "Don't be so willing to risk everything..." I'm no good for him. "The way you feel about me... it's probably just admiration or a crush."

"Are you fucking kidding me? So that's what this is about."

"You—"

"Your insecurities." Riley moved to sit beside Eran. "You're the first guy—no, person I've ever loved like this so... I've thought about it for so long and so seriously. Even though some people would have a problem with it, I love you."

Eran put on a sad, skeptical expression and sighed. "Since when?"

Riley turned Eran's head, forcing him to make eye contact. "I've been interested in you since you first looked at me in the store. I've been captivated since you sat on that bench and took my cigarette. I've liked you since I realized you weren't going to throw me away. I've been sure that I love you since the time you tried to help cook dinner. It's been so hard..." Riley stroked Eran's cheek with his thumb. "Now when you say you love me too, how can I hold back, let alone stop loving you?"

I... all those times... it's the same for me, Eran realized. Riley loved Eran, sincerely, and wanted to be with Eran, sincerely. Desperately. Eran could no longer hold back his tears. While looking Riley in the eye, he gasped a few times. It's no use. Fuck it. He swore then leaned forward to kiss Riley. Riley was surprised for a moment before losing himself in their kiss.

I've never felt like this before, Eran thought, feeling overwhelmed. He'd kissed and dated girls, but it had all felt like a chore. It was the first time he felt pleasure kissing someone let alone feeling any emotion. They kissed and gradually got increasingly intense. Then by Riley's volition they started to use tongue. I've never wanted anything this badly. Eran fell into Riley's arms. They pulled at each other's clothes, but not in a way to take them off. If we don't stop now, I don't know if I'll ever be able to. Eran pulled his mouth away and Riley reluctantly let him go.

I give up. He hugged Riley tightly. "I'm an idiot." I don't care anymore. I want you to stay by my side. I'm going to make you mine.

"So, when can we have sex?"

Eran shoved him away and stood up. "When I'm ready... But I'm not..." He blushed. "I won't let you..." He blushed deeper then said quietly, "After you get accepted to a university and graduate high school, we can... you know..." He took a deep breath. "Have intercourse." Embarrassed, he covered his face with a hand and sat back down.

"I'll do it."

"Wha—"

"I'll get into your university. And I'll graduate next year."

I misunderstood him at first. Eran smiled a bit. "Good."

"Then I'll kiss you, and touch you, and you'll—"

"OKAY. NO speaking of it until then."

"I've never looked forward to a graduating so much!" Riley's eyes shined in a way that slightly frightened Eran.

He mumbled to himself, "Don't think about it. Don't think about it."

Riley placed his hand on Eran's knee. "Eran," he said sweetly.

Eran reluctantly turned towards him. Riley's lips pressed against his and worked like a muscle relaxant against Eran. Riley stuck out his tongue but hesitated, seeming to fight with himself. Letting go, he avoided Eran's eyes and hung his head. "I'll be the one to leave."

"But..." Look at me.

"I don't want to be away from you." Eran took in Riley's warmth as he was hugged. "But... I've been hard for a while now..."

O-oh, I see.

"And it seems you have too."

Eran felt himself blush as he pulled his shirt down over his lap. Apparently, there were certain muscles that Riley's kiss did the opposite of relaxing. "Shut up." Eran put his forehead on Riley's shoulder. "Let's both leave."

"Hm?"

"If we're in public, we can be together without worrying about getting carried away."

"Okay... If I'm going to follow your conditions, it's probably best if you let go of me." Riley warned.

Eran lifted his head. "You're the one holding me."

Riley nodded as if only just realising. "So, as soon as I get a handle on this," he pointed down," we can kiss as much as I—I mean, we want?"

I want to kiss him now. "Yeah." Eran shifted his eyes and turned his blushing face away.

"You're so cute."

"You still can't call me cute," Eran said, standing up. "Let's go out."

Riley grinned and stood as well. "On a date?"

Eran paused. Is it a date? "Um..." he looked down, wishing the heat in his face would go away. "It doesn't matter," he mumbled. "The point is we're going out together."

"Hold on," Riley said, stopping Eran from opening the door. "Just one last kiss."

Eran silently agreed by releasing the door handle. "No tongue." If Riley used tongue, Eran thought, who knows if they'd ever be able to stop.

Riley leaned downward as Eran reached upwards. They closed their eyes and kissed softly.

Riley smirked. "Well, off we go," he said, opening the door, letting the daylight flood in. This was the first time Eran and Riley would greet the world as a couple. Well, that is, secretly greet.

A/N: Cheer with me! Yay! In case you were wondering why this is only halfway over, it's because real life happens. What challenges do you think they will face?