Why does he have to be so damn attractive? Why do his lips have to make me feel all tingly? Why do his rough calloused hands feel so good against my bare skin? Why?

Had it not been for the sound of pattering feet we would have been on the laundry room floor getting naked. I would unfortunately get naked with him in a heartbeat.... however the moment he opens his mouth to say something. We're done. The pattering feet went away and so we were left to stare at each other. One of his hands still high up on my thigh, a hand of mine on his chest. "How long do you think..." his voice trailed off as my hand slipped from his chest "I don't think there is any way to really know." He glanced out the door and then grabbed my hands dragging me towards what looked to be a broom closet. He flung it open and motioned for me to go up as he shut the door behind us "it's the old stairway to the attic," he whispered in my ear as we continued to climb up, reaching what seemed to be his room. He locked another door "now we can do whatever," I placed a finger to his lips "are we sure we really should..." he shrugged "I don't see what it could hurt... besides they're all eating away, and there are so many of them no one will notice we're gone." I nodded glancing out the window, barely able to see the table. Am I really about to sleep with the triple threat asshole? What do I have to lose? Not a thing. I almost wish there was some reason not to. But there isn't.... is there?

His lips found their way to my neck, distracting me from all thoughts as he made his way to my collar bone. He paused for a brief moment, but that was only to slip a hand up my shirt. But that brief pause, was long enough to let me think. "Stop," I whispered, not really meaning it as his calloused palm rested underneath my bra strap. "Jake, stop," I said a little louder, pulling away and removing his hand from my body. He looked at me, still shirtless, and slightly confused "what's wrong?" He whispered taking a seat on his bed, all I could think to do was shake my head "we shouldn't... really we shouldn't," he just shrugged "why not?" I stood there for a moment dumbfounded, why not? That was a question I was dying to know too. "I'll see you later Jake," I turned away and ran back down the stairs to the basement before returning to our families.

I returned to my seat to find only a few chunks of potato and corn kernels on my plate. Maybe I should have slept with Jake, all day all I had wanted was the clam bake... and now I don't even have that. I glanced back at the door and honestly considered going back in to find Jake, but out he walked wearing a new shirt and avoiding my eye contact. I picked up my plate, scarfing down a potato wedge before heading back to the beach where a few of the kids had migrated towards. I vaguely heard someone call out to me but I just headed for the beach, hoping that maybe with a few moments of silence I could forget about everything that had just happened.

As I sat down in the sand my phone's constant ringing and beeping started to really irritate me. It also reminded me of all the work related things that I could be doing, should be doing. But a very large part of me wanted to chuck it into the water. I wanted to chuck it into the water and run up into my room and light a cigarette and some how drift away. Which frankly just means I need to go back to Boston and work, I need to work and work and work until there is nothing left for me to work on and no memory of his lips on my lips and what we were about to do. That of course had to be the moment that a hand grabbed my arm. I nearly jumped out of my skin. Of course I nearly jumped out of my skin again when I saw that it was Jake.

"What do you want?" His mouth opened but then he looked around to see more and more of our family streaming onto the beach, he quickly closed his mouth. "Jake we should just forget everything, the kiss, the feelings... what we were going to do... I, I..." I started to walk away, back towards my house, I think I do need to go back to Boston, gain some perspective, get more nautical with my work. I heard him following me, so I stopped just before hitting the lawn, standing under the archway covered in greenery. "Jake I don't know what you want..." there were only a few inches between us, I knew what I wanted, and I knew I needed to leave before I did something I would regret. His hand grazed my arm and I felt like just falling into him. "Erin, I don't know what I want either," he was practically whispering in my ear, and my heart was in my throat "But I know right now, that all I can think about is you." I shouldn't, I absolutely shouldn't. Which means I absolutely should. I crashed my lips against his, wrapping my arms around his neck as he grabbed my waist. I knew as I was kissing him that absolutely no good could come from this, I would regret it immensely, and I should have ran back to Boston. But seeing as we had made it this far again...