"Ready?" I ask Rin, looking at her warmly as we stand backstage. This is it, our first stage.

"I don't know if I'll ever be ready, Yoongi," Rin responds. "It's finally happening." Her face is flushed and she looks small— smaller than she already is. She's practically shaking, and I feel awful. As hard as she's trying to hide it, it's beyond evident that Rin is immensely nervous.

"Hey, you're going to do fine," I reassure her, taking her hand. I fumble with the star bracelet on her wrist, feeling the charm between my finger and thumb. "You've got me, and I've done this a thousand times before. And you don't have anything to be worried about, anyway. You wrote this song. It's yours. You're going to be great."

Rin smiles softly, looking up at me and squeezing my hand tightly. "Okay. You're right. We'll be fine."

"That's the spirit. Fighting!" I pump my fist in the air and smile, watching as a semblance of real confidence overcomes Rin's worried expression.

"Alright, you two are on," says a staff member. I nod, thanking him quietly, and Rin and I begin moving to our positions on stage. Rin nervously tugs at the legs of her black jeans, pulling them down. She's wearing a white sweater, too, and a snapback, which she also adjusts before she passes the threshold and ends up on the actual stage. I, myself, am also donning monochromatic garb: a pair of white jeans, a black t-shirt, and a black bomber jacket over it. The stylists went a little crazy with the black and white this time around.

Rin and I take our spots on a darkened stage, standing back-to-back and waiting for the lights to come on. With mics in our hands, a track over the speakers, and the lyrics drilled into our brains, we're as ready as we'll ever be. The track begins and the spotlights come on, one shining on each of us. Rin has the opening lines, and I follow. Rin seems nervous still, but she does her part well. For the first half of the verse, we alternate telling small snippets of our stories; I talk about why I wanted to audition for Big Hit and Rin talks about how she wanted to make it underground. When we're done with this, though, we have the dialogue part for the pre-chorus. These lines are supposed to summarize our fight, and I'm the one who starts.

"I'm sorry."

"No, you aren't."

"You know how much I want this."

"I can't believe you'd do this." Rin and I turn to face each other here, no longer standing back-to-back as we had been. Rin continues the line from here, and now I'm the one who has to respond.

"How could you betray me? I just want you to stay with me."

"I want this."

"Fine, I didn't care about you anyway."

From here, it's the chorus. This part requires a little bit of vocal work from the both of us. Thankfully, not much, and Rin pulls most of the weight, but the first chorus is arguably the hardest part of the song for us. I keep my eye on Rin as she performs. Once she's done with the chorus, her body loosens up and I see the fear in her start to fade. She's finding that comfort zone, that euphoria that comes from just being on a stage. The rest of the song, once we're over that first hurdle, is smooth sailing. The build in the bridge is without a doubt the most exhilarating part. Rin and I stand facing each other again, pouring our hearts out and talking about how sorry we both are for how arrogant we both were, only to flood back into the chorus from a few beats of silence. Our roughly three-and-a-half-minute piece feels like the best kind of eternity, and when we're finally finished we're met with the uproarious cheers of fans. Rin looks over at me and she's beaming, the absolute picture of happiness. After four whole years, she finally got what she wanted. We take a bow and thank everyone for listening to us, then return backstage.

Rin hands her mic to a staff member who takes mine also, and from there she wraps me in a hug. "That was amazing," she breathes, hardly able to believe her situation. "I've never been on a stage like that before."

"You were amazing," I say, smirking. "You were so comfortable up there, especially for it being your first time in a showcase. You did great, Rin." Her arms wrap around me tighter, to the point where she's nearly squeezing the life out of me. I just return the hug, though, and try to pay no heed to the immense pressure she's putting on me.

"I've missed this," Rin breathes.

"What?" I ask, curious.

She pulls away, seeming confused. I chuckle, realizing she hadn't meant to say those words out loud. Her cheeks gain just the slightest pink tinge as she says, "Hugging you like that."

I roll my eyes, grabbing Rin's hand and toying with her fingers. She doesn't protest but instead leads me further backstage as the next act goes up. We hang around on a bench, scrolling through our phones separately. I read some tweets regarding our performance, and for the most part, they're all positive. Of course, there are some people who are fully against the idea of me and Rin doing anything together, and people send both of us hate, but more of the fans are supportive.

"Aw, Dabin watched the showcase," Rin says, looking at me with a smile.

"Did he like it?" I ask.

"I hope so," she replies. "He isn't much for rap— he was really just streaming it to support me."

"Keep him," I chuckle. From there we resume our comfortable silence for about half an hour before the showcase draws to a close. We make our way onstage again, blinded again by the bright lights. The emcees begin going through the point totals, and— unsurprisingly— Rin and I don't win the showcase. Of course, we really weren't expecting to. As the winning group gets up to give their speech, Rin and I mingle with the other idols who are up and about. Rin clings to me for most of this, obviously not used to all of the people.

"Hey! Suga!" A voice calls. I turn on my heel and locate the source of the voice. Much to my surprise, it's Gray, a soloist who hadn't even performed at this showcase. He's standing offstage, so I grab Rin and tug her in Gray's direction, pulling her from the stage that's far from her comfort zone.

"Hi, Suga," Gray says with a warm smile. "You two were great out there, but it's you I wanted to talk to." He gestures at Rin as he speaks, and she tenses up, shock coming over her.

"Me? Why?" She asks, nervous.

"You are incredibly talented. I'm honestly really surprised I've never heard of you before, Silver. Keep doing what you're doing, okay? Talent like yours won't go unnoticed."

Rin just looks at him, stock-still and impossibly flattered by the artist's words. "Thank you," she sputters out, bowing respectfully. "That means a lot to me."

"Just telling it like it is," Gray says with a smile. With that, he bids us farewell and heads backstage. Now that we're off the stage, it's time to head to a dressing room. The encore is already taking place up on the stage, so all the other idols are likely heading there. I guide Rin to the right place, then leave her to do her thing. I head to the men's dressing room and quickly throw on the athletic shorts and t-shirt I'd worn here. Rin was dressed in an equally casual way when she arrived, so I doubt it'll take her too long to change. I head outside and wait for her by the door so we can head back to the dorm together.

When Rin emerges from the dressing room, she's looking at her phone with a concerned expression. I consider asking her about it right then but decide against it. It'll probably be best to leave it alone unless she asks me about something. Deciding to try and bring her mood up, though, I take her hand and squeeze it, giving her one more "Good job!" before we head out to the car. It's clear Rin is exhausted, likely both mentally and physically. I make the drive home take a little less time by taking a shorter route. Rin can barely keep her eyes open by the time we make it back to the apartment building, so we make our way up to the actual dorm room quickly.

The moment Rin's body hits the couch it's clear that she has no plans of getting back up. Her small bag of supplies that she brought to the show sits beside her on the floor, some objects spilling out of it. Rin yawns and lays back on the couch, as tired as a person can be.

"I'm going to bed, Yoongi. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Rin," I reply, about to turn in myself. "Sleep well."

"Yeah, I will. Can you plug my phone in?"

I laugh lightly at her request, but nod. "Sure." I then go through Rin's bag and remove her phone from it, walking to the other end of the room to plug it into the wall. As I plug in the phone, the screen lights up, and I'm greeted with all the messages that had Rin struck with concern.

"Woah, how many texts did Juyoung send you?" I manage, exasperated.

"Oh, right. That. I don't know. They had just started coming in when we were finishing up."

"Well, they don't look very good." I sit down on the couch and slowly go through the notifications on Rin's phone.

You're working with Suga? After everything I've done for you?

I'M your producer, Rin. ME. Not a company.

We have to talk.

Why aren't you at home?

Where did you put your spare key?

If you're with him I don't know what I'll do.

I look over at Rin and see that she's clearly in a tumultuous emotional state. Her face is red and she's practically shaking. Her eyes are beginning to brim with tears and she starts heaving in large intakes of breath. She's crying.

"Sshh, Rin, you're okay," I say, touching her arm gently. She jerks away from me, though, and runs her hands through her hair over and over, unsure of what to do.

"What if he broke in or something, Yoongi? He's scaring me."

"We can see in the morning; I'll send a staff member by. Look, just be glad you're here and not there, okay?"

At that point, Rin totally breaks. Her body starts jerking up and down, completely racked by sobs that break my heart. I plug Rin's phone into the outlet on the wall and then return to her, not wanting to leave her alone in this state. I've never seen her cry before.

"I'm going to take you to my room, okay? Is that alright?" I ask, touching her shoulder gently. She nods, unable to get real words out through her sobbing. Ah Rin has cracked, and I can't bear to see it. I pick Rin up in the easiest manner possible— bridal style. She wraps her arms around my neck and I feel her tears start to soak into my shirt. I carry Rin to my bedroom, opening the door to find Seokjin awake on his phone.

"Woah, you okay?" He asks, looking at Rin in my arms and immediately jumping out of bed.

"Y— Yeah," Rin tries to choke out. Clearly, it's not convincing.

"The showcase went fine, but she's had a rough night. I think it'd be better if she stayed in here."

"Okay, no problem," Seokjin replies, walking to the door. "Take care of yourself, Rin. I'll be on the couch if you need me."

"Thank you," Rin again tries to say. It's even harder to hear her words clearly now, as her sobs have gotten worse. Seokjin nods and closes the door behind him. I lay Rin down on my bed, watching her body curl up into a ball and try to bury itself under the covers. I carefully pull a blanket over her before laying down beside her, wrapping my arms around her tightly. Rin moves to mimic my form, finding comfort in my embrace. I hold her securely, knowing it's what I would want in this kind of situation.

"I've never seen you like this, Rin," I manage, speaking truthfully. Never before has Ah Rin cried like this in front of me. It's a first, and it's absolutely heartbreaking. She doesn't deserve to have anything or anyone make her feel like this.

"I just don't know what to do," she responds. Her voice hitches in her throat as she gets the simple sentence out, her tears beginning to lessen. They don't go away fully, but it appears she's starting to calm down. I guess Rin and I need the same thing in these kinds of situations.

"We will figure this out, Rin. We'll fix it, I promise. I'll do everything I can." I rub her back gently, making small circles in it in an attempt to calm her down. I can feel Rin's hands against my chest, gripping to my shirt as if I'm the only thing tying her down to this reality. I do all I can to completely envelop her, and to keep her safe. Unfortunately, it's her thoughts she needs protection from, and there's no surefire way to protect her from them.

I kiss Rin's forehead gently, I keep rubbing her back, and I keep her as close to me as I can, and slowly she starts to calm down. She finally reaches her calmest point, though, when sleep overtakes her. This is also what pains me the most. Even in her sleep, her breath hitches, making little yelping sounds that I doubt I'll ever forget the sound of. It's just so hard to believe that the generally tough-shelled Ah Rin could be struck so easily all of a sudden, and it makes me upset.

I look at the sleeping girl in my arms, making the decision to never let her reach this point ever again.

With that, sleep takes me, too.

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hello!

this is a little early, but i'm on vacation right now so i figured i'd just get it out so i wouldn't have to worry about it for the rest of the break. but, nonetheless, i hope you're doing well! i also hope you liked this chapter. if you did, feedback would be greatly appreciated, in any form. constructive criticism is always appreciated, so long as it's respectful. votes and comments are greatly appreciated as well!

thanks, and i'm honestly still not over jimin in spring day,

sam

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