❨ MISTAKES LIKE THIS ❩

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THIS ISN'T WORKING

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this is for the best, they say, at least now that baby boy or girl won't have to suffer.

y/n tried to believe them. she tried so hard to move on but she just couldn't. this wasn't just the death of some kid at school or a squirrel in the woods. this was the death of her child.

the last week of school had just gone by. patrick and y/n skipped, not caring if they'd get held back or not.

the two of them lie cuddled together in patrick's bed, their eyes looking into one another, their noses just barely brushing.

neither of them spoke a word, afraid of saying the wrong thing.

y/n is the one to break the silence, turning over so her back is now facing him, letting out a long exhale.

“i think i should spend some time with henry.” her voice is unrecognizable to both her and her boyfriend.

it was soft and throaty, hesitant and fragile.

“that's alright. you want me to drive you?” the dark haired boy questions, his skinny pale hand shakily reaching out and playing with the ends of her hair.

he lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding in as he watches her shiver.

“sure.”

she gets up, slipping on her jeans that were on the ground, not bothering to change out of patrick's shirt.

the taller male slips on his shoes before crouching down and helping her with hers, leaving a soft kiss above her knee before standing up tall.

the two of them walk out hand in hand, but their grip on one another is not as tight as it used to be.

there were so many unsaid words between the two, so many unheard thoughts and yet neither one of them could gain the courage to fix it.

☆

“goodbye, pat.” the shorter female mutters, about to shut the car door when the boy calls after her.

“i'll see you soon, okay?” his eyes are pleading, his gut telling him to not let her go, “i love you, y/n.”

“mhm.” she responds, trying her hardest to send him the smallest of smile but it doesn't work. her frow deepens.

she's beginning to think that the pout is forever.

patrick watches solemnly as she walks up the steps of her porch, waiting for her to enter the house before he quickly drives off.

when y/n enters the house, she's shocked to find it completely silent, aside from the leaking of the faucet in the kitchen.

her footsteps seem to be extremely loud as she walks around the empty house in search of butch.

once she comes to the conclusion that he isn't here, she calls out for henry.

“henry?” y/n's voice isn't as loud as it used to be, so she cups her hands around her mouth.

she jumps as she hears sudden footsteps running down the hall, almost being knocked over as henry bowers comes barreling straight towards her.

he holds in her place, glancing down at the female but not making eye contact with her. her soft y/s/c skinned hand makes it way up to his face and grabs his jaw, forcing him to stay still.

“let me go, y/n/n.” he whispers, his foot tapping impatiently on the ground.

“what're you doing?” her eyes narrow in on the slightly taller boy—and that's when she sees it.

the deepest shade of red she's ever encountered in her life stains the boys white hands, along with his a few splatters on his face.

she immediately removes herself from him, taking a few steps back. tears sparkle in her eyes as she glanced around the house and notices a trail of the blood leading out of the back door.

her y/e/c eyes lock with henry's once again before glancing back at the door.

the dirty blonde haired boy shakes his head, gulping.

“don't—”

but before he can finish his sentence, his younger cousin is shoving past him and towards the back door, a scream falling past her lips as the sight in front of her.

in panic, the male covers her mouth with his hand, pulling her back inside and shoving her onto the couch.

she sits up with wide, concerned eyes.

“why—i mean...good riddance but henry! you killed someone, do you know what this means?”

the boy begins to pace, his hands in fists at his sides, swallowing hard.

“i don't know what overcame me. he just—i was tired of his bullshit. so i took out my knife and just…” he makes a stabbing motion with his hands, a sob falling past his lips and causing the female to sigh.

y/n stands up and pulls the boy into a hug, ignoring the fact that there was now probably blood all over her.

“it's gonna be okay, henry. we can take his body out in the back and—i have a zippo that 'trick gave me...we can drive his buggy into that lake around the corner, bleach the blood. it'll be okay. it's all gonna be okay.”

at this point, the both of them are kneeling on the ground, holding onto each other for dear life.

it was y/n and henry against the world now.

three hours and twenty-two minutes later, the two young adults have done everything in their will to hide the evidence.

after taking separate showers, eating dinner, and brushing their teeth, they get into bed in henry's room, cuddling one another and praying to whoever's up above that things get better.

☆

the next morning, y/n makes breakfast for henry and then heads out for a day by herself.

it seemed as if ever since she started school at derry she no longer had time for herself.

the petite female decides on heading into town, hoping that no one she knew would be there.

once she arrives, to her dismay, ryder and his gang are hanging around by the movie theater.

y/n makes a move to turn around and head back home, but one of the boys calls out for her.

olly.

she forces a smile onto her tired face, allowing the tall brunette to pull her into a hug, a warm feeling erupting in her chest when she feels him peck the top of her head.

“how are you?” he asks, smiling down at her and for some strange reason she can't help but smile back.

this is how she's supposed to feel. carefree, safe, happy. she felt like she could be herself with him.

the realization causes her to want to slam her head against a brick wall repeatedly.

hanging with bowers and the others caused her to stray away from the person she used to be. the good version of her. the badass yet super nice version of her.

now she was just a depressed asswipe that everyone feared because she's dating the town's psychopath.

“i'm fine.” she shrugs, nuzzling her head into his chest.

olly stares down at her in adoration. everything about her was gorgeous. her y/h/c hair that was styled perfectly everyday, her y/e/c eyes that seemed to hold such a deep, heart wrenching story, her y/s/c skin that felt so smooth against his own. every single damn thing.

“that's good, i'm glad.” they pull away from each other and glance over at the rest of the gang, smirks on their faces, “do you wanna maybe ditch? they're being bums right now.”

y/n chuckles and nods, her smaller hand grabbing his and the two of them walk off.

they goof off as if they were friends for years, aimlessly walking around the town. after what seems like hours they begin to feel tired, agreeing to hang at ryder's house until the rest of the boys arrive.

“you wanna know something?” olly chuckles, nudging the female sitting across from him on the carpeted floor.

she raises an eyebrow, urging him to go on.

“i've always wanted to have my nails painted.” he blushes when the female coos, “is that weird?”

“no! that's so cute, oh my god!” she chuckles, scooting closer, “can i paint your nails? you can paint mine and holy fuck, we can match!”

the brunette boy laughs at her reaction, his heart feeling warm as he realizes that he's the reason for her happiness.

that's all he wanted; was to make her happy.

☆

it's about midnight when y/n decides it's time for her to head home.

after bidding the boys—who arrived home only about an hour ago—goodbye, her and olly get in the car and head back to the farm.

they arrive not too later on, y/n giving the tall boy a huge hug and whispering about a million thank yous before getting out.

she walks up her porch and turns around one last time, waving her newly painted hand in a goodbye then unlocking the front door and going inside.

“where the hell have you been?” henry comes out of nowhere, his face showing nothing but worry.

the smile on the female's face immediately drops, her expression going back to that plain, robotic one.

she opens her mouth to say something, but the only thing that comes out is a gasp as patrick hockstetter stalks out of the kitchen and stands beside his friend.

“what are you doing here?”

the lanky boy shrugs, “we were worried.”

“there's no reason to be. i just went out to the movies, i wanted to be alone. you guys don't have to baby me, alright?!”

henry sighs, about to take a step closer to the female but she shakes her head, pressing her back against the door.

“look, lil’ bit. we're not tryna suffocate you or anything, it's just—”

“but that's exactly what you're doing! i can't even fucking breathe, patrick! i get it, you guys are worried but haven't you maybe stopped to think that you're the reason i am the way i am now? ever since i met you and started hanging out with henry's stupid gang i haven't been able to be myself! if it weren't for you assholes i'd still be me!”

y/n notices the flash of hurt on both boys faces but at this very moment she doesn't care. they were getting a taste of their own medicine.

“you don't mean that. you'd be nothing without us.” patrick suddenly gets that wild look in his eyes, his finger pointing accusingly at the shorter female.

“oh, gag me with a spoon. i'm over it. i'm over this,” she motions between her and patrick, ignoring the tug at her heart, “it isn't working, pat. we're not good for each other.”

henry huffs and walks out into the living room, knowing exactly what's to come next.

“you don't mean that.” the long haired male shakes his head, his voice shaking.

“i do. i do mean it. we need to take a break. i love you, patrick but—”

“bullshit. you wouldn't be doing this right now if you loved me. fuck you, y/l/n.” he doesn't wait for her to reply as he shoves her out of the way of the door, making his anger apparent as he slams it shut behind him.

patrick hockstetter doesn't let himself cry as he gets into his car and speeds him. he doesn't let himself wallow in self hatred or self pity.

he forces his mind into believing that it's her loss; that she is the one missing out.

though deep down, he knows it isn't true.

his deepest fear was becoming to reality. he lost his most prized possession.

y/n.