❨ MISTAKES LIKE THIS ❩

:

I'VE LOST MYSELF

‧ : *: ‧ °✧

the night was black and stormy.

bowers’ gang, y/n, sally, and ryder's gang all sat perched in the large, furnished attack, either a smoke or a beer in their hands.

mason let out a yawn, stretching his left arm out above his head before letting it rest on his girlfriend's shoulders.

she looks up at him with a small smile, her y/e/c eyes locking with his blue ones.

there was an obvious tension between the two after she abruptly left their date a few days ago, but neither of them wanted to speak about it, for fear that things would go sourly.

y/n felt like a groupie. a whore. a toy.

of course, she wasn't going to voice that. she didn't want to sound selfish. no one would care anyway.

you're strong, they'd tell her, you wouldn't let a man walk all over you. you don't judge so neither will we.

the nearly nineteen year old female felt as if she were going to explode. her thoughts were suffocating. the more her brain went on, the more she felt as if she'd collapse.

a flash of lightning lightens up the dimly lit room, the dark roar of thunder that follows after it causes y/n to snap from her thoughts, a high pitched gasp escaping her.

everyone looks over at her in confusion and concern. well, mostly everyone.

patrick sat reclined on a leather loveseat, sally in between his legs. neither one of them were paying attention to anything but each other.

the dark haired boy didn't look phased, his eyes glazed over, a beer held lazily in his hand.

“you okay?” olly, who was seated on the opposite side of her, looked down with his enticing, sage eyes.

y/n forces herself to relax, an uncomfortable smile on her face as she nods.

“yeah, i’m alright, olly boy.”

“you sure you don’t wanna smoke?” henry asks, reaching out a pale hand as if to offer her a ciggy.

she sighs, shaking fingers accepting it and then bringing it up to her lips. everyone saw it. but as usual, not a word is said.

a moment of semi-silence goes by, the only sound being their breath and the soft pitter patter of the rain on the roof above them.

“where’d ya say vic and grayson went again?” ryder suddenly asks, but the only response he gets is a sniffle.

his heart picks up as he and the others stare at y/n, noticing the glimmer of tears in her eyes that soon fall to her doll-like cheeks.

mason holds her tighter into his side, turning and pecking the side of her head in an attempt to soothe her.

“sorry i—sorry.” she forces a laugh, furiously wiping at her face. she hears patrick scoff, “um, they're just on a little get away togeth-together.”

“right.” the curly haired boy nods before an awkward silence overcomes the atmosphere.

y/n takes one last drag of her cigarette before burning it out on the carpet, the satisfying sizzle calming her nerves.

☆

“hook 'im!” the boys shout as henry and hunter wrassled on the ground.

y/n now sat straddling mason's lap, her head nuzzled between his neck. he was warm, and his grip was comforting.

she could feel eyes burning at the back of her head, and after minutes of ignoring it, she's had enough.

her small hands grab mason's jaw and pull him closer so that their lips are just barely brushing, before she puckers and kisses him softly.

the brunette watches in awe as she removes herself from his lap and walks towards the mini-fridge in the corner of the room.

she grabs and beer and leans against the wall, now watching from afar as the boys still tussle.

“you’re y/n/n, right?” the abrupt, nasally voice is sally mueller causes the female to jump in her spot, almost dropping her beer.

as soon as she realizes who it is, though, she bites her tongue, knowing that if she doesn't, she'll say things she'll regret.

after a few seconds, she clears her throat, taking a sip of her beverage before locking eyes with the younger girl.

“y/n.” the shorter, yet older female corrects sally, her voice crisp.

“right. well, y/n...” sally shifts awkwardly where she's standing, shoving her hands into her back pocket, “i just wanted to let you know that i'm happy for you.”

the compliment catches the girl off guard, her lips parting in utter shock and confusion.

“what do you mean?”

“i mean, i'm happy you found someone who'll love you and treat you right. i'm sorry you and patrick didn't work out. i hope there are no hard feelings since ya know... i'm dating him now.”

y/n's jaw seems to drop even lower than it was before, her eyes wide and bugging out of her head, her heart pounding heavily in her chest as the mueller girl's words repeat within her mind.

i hope there are no hard feelings,

she said.

that caused the y/s/c skinned female to want to laugh hysterically, manically.

she is finally able to shut her mouth, her hand gripping her beer bottle tightly and her jaw clenched.

she closed her eyes and mentally counted backwards, needing to calm herself.

once done, she forced a smile on her face and shook her head.

“of course, babe. no hard feelings.”

and what she did next caused patrick—who had been watching this entire encounter like a hawk—to let out an audible gasp.

y/n reached up and hugged the taller, much skinnier female, squeezing tighter and tighter the longer they held on.

she wanted to feel the life go out of her.

that thought was enough to make y/n quickly pull back, eyebrows furrowed and a feeling of panic erupting as she wonders why in the hell she would even fathom doing something like that.

she sends sally one last unstable smile before walking back to her boyfriend, allowing him to once again pull her into his side.

☆

soon enough, their little get together comes to an end.

mason drops y/n off at her house, leaving her alone since henry wanted to stay out with belch for a little longer.

she felt a sudden sense of fear as she walked into the dark, cold, and eerie house.

her shaky hands begin to flip on every light switch she passed by, wanting to assure herself that she was safe. everything would be okay.

for an hour or so, after showering and changing, she lies on the couch watching television. things seem to be fine until it abruptly cuts off.

until, everything cuts off.

her eyes adjust to the dark quickly as she fumbles around for a flashlight. when she finds it, she holds it with a death grip, her mind racing.

the sound of heavy footsteps approaching her causes her to speed up, running down the hall and into her room.

she locks the door before hopping onto her bed and grabbing the telephone, only one person coming to mind as she frantically dials his number.

y/n can hear the footsteps getting closer, her mind asking “why me? why me?” continuously as the phone rings.

her fingers come up to her lips, her teeth nibbling on the tips of her fingernails.

“hello?” his groggy voice sounds throughout the phone, sending shivers down her spine.

she lets out a breath.

“patri—”

before she can even begin to speak, her room door is knocked down.

her desperate cries for help are the last thing patrick hears before the line goes dead.