54

She ran as fast as she could, but as hard as she may have tried, she was not fast enough. The cackling laughter followed in her wake. Unlike her previous nightmares, she was not stuck in a wall watching the horrors unfold, she was living them. Moment after moment, never ending in its torture....

"Where are ye running off to, my sweet? Come to me. There is no use in running, I will find ye."

Sapphire ran faster and faster. She had to get away from the mean man. Sapphire ran into a room, slipping on something that had been spilled on the floor. She got to her knees, her white dress coated in a red liquid. Blood. She had slipped in blood. Where had the blood come from? She couldn't breath, she was dizzy. Sapphire looked behind her, her father's dead person stared at her. She let out a small scream in terror. He couldn't be dead! He couldn't...

"Papa, papa, please wake up. Papa please!" Sapphire pleaded as tears cascaded down her pale cheeks.

Some distance away lay her mother, also dead. Sapphire crawled towards her, whimpering slightly at her mother's disheveled state.

"Mamma, mamma please! I promise to behave, mamma please!" Sapphire begged.

She stared at the fetus which was supposed to be her younger sibling. She couldn't breathe. What did her parents do to him? To be treated in such a manner? What did the unborn child do? To be so cruelly punished before being able to take its first breaths?

Slowly, the scene began to change. She was no longer a child of ten, but a woman of eighteen summers.

Sapphire looked around frantically, more dead bodies occupied the room, the floor covered in blood.

"Tristan! Oh God! No!" Tristan!"

Her screams were beginning to sound borderline hysterical.

"Tristan! Wake up! Please!" He couldn't be gone! She... He... Couldn't...No!

She crawled to the figure next to him. Desperation and horror making her movements jerky.

"Uncle John! Uncle John! You promised me you would not leave! Uncle John please wake up! Tristan's not waking up, please do something!" Sapphire sobbed uncontrollably.

Another figure materialized beside him.

"Aunt Kat..." Sapphire whispered in horror as more tears cascaded down her cheeks.

"Aunt Kat, please, not you..."

Next to her, another body lay, unmoving.

Sapphire went towards her.

"Izzy..." Sapphire lamented as she stared at her stomach which had been pierced upon, her unborn child lay dead beside her.

"I see you have met all our guests."

Sapphire turned at the sound of the voice. With shaky legs, she stood up. Her white gown now a deep crimson.

"How could you!" Sapphire screamed in horror, her emotions making her voice jerky.

"It was verra easy, love."

Sapphire blanched at the second voice.

"You're sick, both of you!" Sapphire screamed as her legs threatened to give away.

"We do what we must." Corriane answered nonchalantly.

"I'll kill you." Sapphire whispered, her tears beginning to dry, a new hope, or perhaps it was sheer desperation, making itself known.

Fredrick laughed a long, cruel laugh. One which promised many horrors to come.

"We killed three men, what is but one wench?"

"I'll fight you till the death." Sapphire swore as she felt a kick in her abdomen.

Surreptitiously, she ran her hand over her stomach, there was a slight bump to her stomach. When did this happen? She had to fight, for everyone. Whether they were living or dead. She couldn't give up.

Sapphire moved her hand to her side, finding her sword easily.

"It is your turn to die now, wench. I have waited long enough." Corriane snarled.

****

Sapphire awoke with a jolt. She lay quite still, getting a sense of her surroundings. She lay on her stomach, her back paining her a great deal. She lifted her head up slightly, she was in her and Tristan's chambers, in castle Knight. Was this another nightmare? Giving her a false sense of security before pulling it away cruelly?

Sapphire took a shaky breath. It had merely been a dream, not reality. And if she really were back in castle Knight, and it was not a figment of her imagination, then something had gone right.

She lifted her hand slightly as she let out a sigh. Where was Tristan? A slight push to her side was answer enough. Sapphire turned her head slowly, smiling with love, affection and relief, as a head of bronze hair greeted her. Tristan's head was beside her hip, sleeping. She moved a bit, nothing. Just how long was she unconscious for? It had to be some time for Tristan to not even stir if someone moved.

Sapphire lifted her hand and ran it through Tristan's hair, noticing her bandaged wrists. That woman sure was vile. She hoped Tristan hadn't met her, then again, she doubted he had not. The sound of her stomach had her grumbling. She needed food.

She continued to play with Tristan's hair, not too keen on waking him. Lord only knew when was the last time he slept.

She continued to watch him, this in itself was blessing enough. How many people awoke each morning and were deprived of merely seeing their loved ones? Of being unable to simply touch them?

***

Tristan relaxed a bit more, he felt warm, cozy. It was most likely due to the fire he had built, nevertheless, it left him feeling......annoyed.

Something was crawling through his hair, it was almost a feather light touch, but it was disturbing. Tristan lifted his hand to swat whatever that it was which was disturbing him. His attempts were met with slight giggles. Tristan frowned. He wasn't giggling, who was? Why was someone in his room? He strained his ears. No giggling. Perhaps he was hallucinating? The lack of sleep must be getting to him.

Tristan began to relax, only to have something flit across his hair again. He grumbled as he attempted to remove the object of his disturbance. There was the giggling again, Tristan strained his ears. The laughter was slightly breathy, as if the person did not have enough energy but could not contain themselves.

He lifted his head, blinking first sleepily, and then, ever so slowly, his expression began to change into disbelief and then unbelievable gratitude.

"You're awake." Tristan said in a choked whisper. Shadows danced under his bloodshot eyes.

"And very hungry. How long have you gone without sleep for?" Sapphire questioned, concern evident in her slightly raspy voice.

"I will get you food. But you are to have only soup. Nothing too heavy, it may upset your stomach." Tristan answered as he walked towards the door. He walked backwards, keeping his eyes on her as if she would disappear any given moment.

"I need you to bring me soup as well as send for lord Rivers. No, only soup. I thank you."

Sapphire heard Tristan saying. She rolled her eyes, only soup. Nothing else. Sapphire tried getting up but winced as her back vibrated with pain. Why was she in pain? Oh yes, she was scourged.

"Tristan, how long have I been unconscious for?" Sapphire asked as she tried to get up again, letting out a small gasp as pain shot through her.

"Is your back hurting?" Tristan asked frantically, fear marring his beautiful features.

"Lay on your stomach." He commanded.

Sapphire rolled her eyes, she was on her stomach.

"I need to eat." Sapphire snapped.

"And why do you keep avoiding my question, how long have I been unconscious for?"

"A weeks time." Tristan whispered.

"Lay still, I can apply some paste for the pain. Please." Tristan pleaded.

Sapphire obliged, Tristan sounded so very vulnerable at that moment, an emotion he kept away from himself, her heart began to bleed.

"Why didn't you eat or sleep. You're only causing harm to your body." Sapphire whispered as the salve began to soothe her achy muscles.

"Food seemed unappealing."

Tristan remained quiet as he applied more salve to her back, making certain the bandages were applied properly.

"You were whimpering in your sleep." Tristan said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"What was I saying?" Sapphire inquired as she felt her muscles begin to loosen.

Tristan let out shaky breath.

"A various amount of things. You were begging someone. Screaming either your parents name or lord Rivers...or mine." He whispered, a deep a ache and loathing vibrating through his words.

"And you cried..... had your stitches come out more than once....

"What did she do to you?" Tristan whispered as tears cascaded down his anguished face. He looked afraid, vulnerable, and angry all at once, his silver gaze relaying the depth of his grief.

"Help me sit up, please." Sapphire requested. She suspected her dear husband had placed a sleeping concoction in her salve, she was feeling drowsy.

Tristan hesitated but obliged. He watched carefully, as if waiting, expecting her to disappear from his very sight, from his life and heart.

"It does not hurt so much, thank you for the salve." Sapphire whispered as she wiped the hair from his eyes.

"It matters not what she did to me, what matters is you were able to reach me in time." Sapphire said soothingly.

"Not soon enough." Tristan spat bitterly as his earlier resentment and self loathing began to resurface. Uncoiled tension surged through his body.

"Would you rather I died?" Sapphire questioned. "You came with plenty of time to spare. We are both alive."

"If it weren't for me, you wouldn't be in this situation." Tristan said angrily.

Sapphire nodded her head. He had met the wench after all.

"You are correct. If it weren't for you, I would not know what true love is. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have learned to let go of the past and forgive myself for something I had no control over. If it weren't for you, I would not be able to realize that a person's past, their struggles, their conditions, do not make the person, but rather, it is their heart which decides which road they would rather choose. It is their sheer will which makes them in control of the situation, and does not let the situation control them. If it weren't for you, I would not have learned compassion and to forgive those whom have hurt me to the extent of no return. If it were not for you, I would not know the love, friendship, respect, and the bond a man and woman, husband and wife, share.

"If you were to leave, I would not be able to see the joy of motherhood, nor will I be able to see you playing with our children. I would not be able to hold our child. If not for you, every time I glance towards your direction my heart would not be filled with a warmth which reaches to the depths of my soul. If it were not for you, I would remember every single time I screamed, every single nightmare I had to endure. Luckily for me, I remember naught of what transpired the nights which followed the past week." Sapphire snapped, the man was most irritating.

"That is not what I meant, which you are well aware of." Tristan muttered as a familiar feeling began to spread throughout his person.

Sapphire arched a brow in disbelief.

Tristan placed his head in Sapphire's lap. She began to play with his hair as he simply lay there, his long legs dangling off the bed. Both quiet, waiting for the other to speak. With his head still in her lap, Tristan whispered the words and feelings he had desperately kept locked away, never to be revealed, not even to himself, as hot tears began to cascade down his face.

But life has a funny way of dealing with matters, always placing us in situations which we resent, only to learn they were actually for our own benefit. Perhaps this wicked world isn't so wicked after all.

"When I noticed you were missing I can not begin to explain the depth of my fear. At first I had thought it was my imagination, but life is not that kind. I searched everywhere for you, but I couldn't find you. I had not the slightest of ideas who could have taken you or why. I hadn't even known when you had gone missing, the distance which you could have covered.....

"I was completely ignorant, lost. But with hardship comes ease, I was able to gain clues regarding your whereabouts. Never had I known such fear in my life, such....such desperation. It felt as if my heart was being torn apart. My lungs refused to let air enter them. And whether it were my brain or my heart, it would not leave me in peace, always creating scenarios which were worst than the former.

"I feared I would be unable to see your sweet smile, your beautiful cobalt eyes, or the way you curl towards me in the early hours of the morning. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to see your excitement when food arrived, or the way you would look magnificent in your anger, like an avenging angel. I realized then that you had entered and captured, no stole, my heart. But I would gladly let you keep it. Because it is you who holds it. I have given it to you, and I have faith you will not break it."

The hand in his hair stood still as she listened to him with rapt attention, praying this was not some sort of dream. Never had he been so expressive, so....forthcoming. Her heart beat frantically in her chest.

"I felt so angry, I wanted to slaughter the lot of them, make them an example. But I knew before I began a battle with blood, I must find you. Never in my worst nightmares would I have imagined my mother had anything to do with this. She took the hatred which she bore against me, on you. Never had I loathed myself more. If it hadn't been for me you would not have been scarred, and left for dead in a room full of fire. If it were not for me you would not have been scourged and humiliated mercilessly.

"She had no right to do what she did to you. She should have hurt me, not me. But she's a smart woman. She knew, by hurting you, the one I love-"

He had said he loved her, he had made a declaration, Sapphire's heart beat a tattoo in her chest. He loved her. He loved her. She didn't hear the rest of his words, the only thing her brain was able to comprehend was that he loved her.

"And that is the worst pain she could ever inflict upon me. No amount of bodily torture would be able to repel the feelings in my heart as its being ripped to shreds, unsalvageable. How could it be whole again if the one who possesses it is no longer there?"

Tristan's eyes took on a far away look as he recalled seeing and realizing it was his mother who spoke to him. He continued in a broken whisper.

"She did not recognize it was me, her son. When I heard her voice, I had thought my ears were playing a cruel trick upon me. But when my eyes sided with my ears, it felt as if the world was tilted from its access. I felt vulnerable, exposed. I promised myself I would never expose myself to such emotions.

"She was the same as I remembered her. Immaculate, cold and lovely, encouraging every other man to have a look under her skirts. When I realized- when I understood the full extent of what she did to you, I wanted to kill her with my own two hand, but despite my anger, I knew I wouldn't be able to do it. That fact made me despise myself more. Despite what she did to you, whom she was helping, I would be unable to fulfill my desire, I abhor myself for it!

"I should have killed her, not lord Rivers! Instead, when I learned she was dead, my heart did not morn, my eyes remained dry. I could not bring myself to care. She was dead. I felt no happiness, no remorse. Nothing. I felt empty.

"And as I carried your body back towards the castle, with your breathing becoming uneven, I hated her. Hatred her more than I have ever hated anyone. I wanted her death to be more painful. Yet, I'm glad lord Rivers had made it swift, she would have reveled in the pain.

"I still do not know what I did to cause such hatred, but I wish she would have told me, I would have tried to fix it, apologized to her. I wish she hadn't gone after you. I wish I had come sooner. Watching you scream and flinch in pain, night after night, I didn't think I would be able to bear another second of it. It was horrible. And I am responsible for it."

Tristan sat up until he was level with Sapphire.

"I made you cry again." He whispered as he wiped her tears away.

"And I made you cry, therefor, we are even." Sapphire said as she too, wipe away his tears.

"Men do not cry." Tristan said, his eyes laced with a slight humor.

"Real men are not afraid to show their emotions to their wives." Sapphire countered.

"Real men are not afraid to tell their wives they love them. I love you Sapphire, with all of my heart. Thank you for giving me a chance, for not giving up on me. I love you and I will cherish you. I can not change the past, but I can make the future." Tristan whispered, his hand cupping the side of her face as their foreheads rested against each other.

"And I love you." Sapphire smiled as her eyes spilled over with tears. He loved her. He admitted he loved her. And all it took was his good for nothing mother.

Tristan frowned.

"Why are you crying? Is it your back?"

"No." Sapphire laughed. "I'm happy. You finally admitted your feelings." Sapphire explained.

"You are crying because you're happy?" Confusion was evident on his handsome face.

"I suppose." Sapphire said with a shaky laugh.

"I see." Tristan mumbled, not at all understanding.

Tristan pulled back, taking her hands within his own, his fingers tracing over her bandaged wrists.

"How bad am I?"

Tristan snorted.

"As if you are not aware of your own injuries." Tristan said angrily.

Just as Sapphire was to answer, their was a soft knock on the door before it opened to reveal a grinning lord Rivers.

"Rise and shine, my love."

"Uncle John!" Sapphire said enthusiastically. However, her joy soon turned into a slight frown. Her uncle had not been sleeping either. Dark circles lay beneath his tired eyes.

"I have come bearing soup and cheese."

"She can only have soup." Tristan said stubbornly.

"She can have a bit of cheese as long as it is added to the soup." Lord Rivers said haughtily.

Sapphire stuck her tongue out towards Tristan.

Lord Rivers handed the trencher of food to Tristan while he took up the chair.

"Did you have enough sleep?"

"I am afraid not." Sapphire said cheekily.

A growl like sound emitted from Tristan. Sapphire rolled her eyes.

"Wonderful, now, let us get some matters straight, shall we?"

Tristan raised the soup filled spoon towards Sapphire's lips.

"Uncle John, I'm tired." Sapphire said as she swallowed a mouthful of delicious soup.

"I know you are, darling. But your aunt Katherine is beside herself in worry. She is insisting you write her a letter. Regretfully, she can see right through my forgery."

"Alright." Sapphire smiled as Tristan continued to feed her soup.