———

When Monday came around, needless to say, I was nervous. I didn't know if Harry and I were going to be a thing or if it was a one time deal. Today was the first day of the new Winter policy, which meant a completely different uniform. I slipped on the slim pair of slacks given, my button down and suit jacket. I adjusted my tie and socks before making my way downstairs.

I sighed and grabbed my backpack, my hair in a natural wavy state. I even skipped doing my makeup, it was that time of the year where it was too cold and I was out of energy. I looked way different than I normally did, and on top of that, I had worry plastered on my face.

"Emmalee, what are you wearing? Go change, you're going to be late!" My mother lectured, she had a little extra bitchiness this morning.

"They're making us wear slacks for the winter, calm down." I replied, reassuringly. Relief settled on her face as she handed me my plate of waffles. I devoured them before she could mention syrup or butter. I always eat when I'm nervous. I quickly kissed my dads cheek and rushed behind my mom to her car.

When I got to lunch that day, I went through the lunch line with the new girl, Lilly. She was super model material, with strawberry blonde hair and gleaming hazel eyes. We both got the same thing, salad with a side of baby carrots. When we found a table, I saw Liam and Niall scanning the lunch crowd for me.

"So, who's your crowd in the school? Popular? Cheer? Please tell me you aren't a cheerleader." Lilly asked, worry in her voice. I only chuckled.

"No, I'm not popular. My crowd is—" I was cut off by Liam and Niall sitting down next to me. Lilly's eyes immediately landed on them, frozen in place. "This is my crowd..." I took a bite of my salad.

"I never pegged you for an emo, Em." She joked, turning to the two boys who were devouring their lunch. "I'm Lilly."

———

The rest of the boys had flocked over, including Harry. He was avoiding me, sitting across the table and didn't even bother to look at me. I felt a sharp pain in my chest, I tried to mask it by sluggishly eating my lunch. Engaging in the conversation through nodding was the only way I could keep myself from crying. I finally gave up and left, throwing my things away. As I turned to leave the room, I felt a hand grab my arm and pull me into the hallway.

"Okay. I know we barely know each other, but whats up with the third degree?" Lilly asked, crossing her arms. Did she expect me to spill my whole life story to her?

Without saying anything, Lilly pulled me into a hug. I glanced at Harry over her shoulder, he was looking at us. I closed my eyes to get his face out of my mind but I couldn't, it was burned into my memory. I could feel tears brim, but I refused to let them fall. when she pulled away, her hands gripped my shoulders. I could hear the chattering boys coming closer, them coming up to us.

Harry was nowhere to be seen, it was just Niall and Liam talking about God knows what. I could feel my eyes swelling, the tears still sitting at the brim of my waterline, my heart ripping itself into millions of little pieces and showering over everbody like confetti.

I felt betrayed, but I soon forgot it as the bell rang. I decided to skip that class with Lilly, on her first day, and hang out in her car outside. It was a cute little car, an older BMW with a cloth top. We didn't talk about much, maybe a few little things here and there.

But in the back of my mind, like a pebble in my shoe, that night was stuck. I finally decided to tell her, which was almost impossible to do without feeling bad about myself. But, then I accidentally blurted, "And I think I have feelings for him."

And I realized it. I did have feelings for him, despite the way he treated me in the past and how he's treating me now. Fuck.

We sat in her car for the rest of the day. We spoke about boys, family, and the furture.

"I want three kids. You know? I want two of them to best friends, play video games together and watch movies together, then I want the third one to be my best friend, to do everything with me." Lilly confessed, a smile on her face.

"I just want two, they'll both be my babies and when I'm busy, they can be each others buds. I want a boy and a girl. But that seems like a fairy tale. With my luck, they'll both be boys. Don't get me wrong, I want a boy, but I don't know if I can handle two." I said, biting my cheek.

"I think I want all boys. I mean, girls are great, but I just have a feeling that I'm destined to have boys." Lilly said, playing with her keychains. "Oh, I forgot to tell you. I have a party coming up and my friends from Crawford are coming. I was hoping you and your buddies would come, it's this Friday."

"Yeah! The boys would never pass up an opportunity to party." I laughed. Then, fear settled in my stomach at the thought of having to go up to Harry and talk to him.

"Thank you!" She squealed, reaching over and pulling me into an uncomfortable hug. I hugged back. That's when I saw stundents getting into their cars and driving off, worry setting in again. We skipped four class periods, I was a goner when I got home. Lilly drove us to her house, her mom wasn't home from work yet.

Her room was messy, clothes thrown everywhere, her bed was unmade, walls covered in posters. Random things where on her nightstand, and a cracked full body mirror sat in the corner. My mouth hung open, but soon turned into a smile.

"I love your room!" I smiled, sitting down on her floor, pushing her clothes out of the way. Four uniforms were hung neatly in her open closet. She only smiled, awkwardly sitting on her bed and pulling out her phone. I never had a messy room with clothes strung about, my mom would have an aneurysm. I was organized, I did my bed every morning and I kept things in their place. I didn't have posters to hang, just whatever paintings my mom found. I felt like being a messy teenage girl and not stuck up.

The first thing I did when I got home was throw clothes all over my room. I wanted to be rebellious, so I messed everything up. I didn't crack my mirror, but I did throw my makeup all over my counters and set my hair stuff around the counter. I shuffled my way down the steps, my mom was cooking dinner.

"Mom, I made a new friend and I was wondering if I could spend the night at her house on Friday?" I asked, and my mothers face went from scared to thrilled.

"You have a new friend?" She asked excitedly.

———

"This dress would look amazing on you." I blinked at the dress. There was barely any fabric holding it together, it looked like a shirt. Lilly shoved it into my arms, but I was hesitant. Without warning, I was pushed into a dressing room where I stripped my clothes and put on the black dress, it barely covered my ass, and was tight against my curves.

It had a very deep V cut, with a criss-cross pattern across the cleavage that was showing. It hung off my shoulder by thin spaghetti straps and was cut low on my back. The hem came mid-thigh on me, showing off my legs that definitely needed shaving.

"Emma, let me see it." I heard as I was about to take it off. I sighed and slowly stepped out, Lilly turning her attention go me. "Holy shit, you look hot."

I tugged at the end of the dress, but the look on her face made my confidence boost. Maybe this could be the dress to get Harry's attention, to show him what he's missing.

———