Harry had called me fifteen times to apologize to me all week, but while we were in school he couldn't even be bothered to approach me in person. I would be standing at my locker, see him walk my way and watch as he would turn around and walk the other way as soon as he spotted me. Lilly had been staying with us all week, her and her parents had gotten into an argument and they had told her to leave.

Today was Thanksgiving and I didn't wake up until 11:15, but I could smell dinner cooking already. My aunt and uncle were coming from Utah for the holiday and staying until Sunday. My mom prepared the office and guest room, had the table set with her special Thanksgiving china. When I came downstairs, my mom and Lilly were racing around the kitchen.

"Oh good, you're awake. Help Lilly with the casserole and start making your famous potatoes!" She cheered. I had made really good mashed potatoes one year, ever since it was my responsibility to replicate that recipe. Going on three years and my special secret is just adding garlic powder and a whole lot of butter.

While Lilly and I got to work on the green bean casserole, my mom left to go to the store and pick up last minute items. My dad was in the living room watching the football pre-game.

"So, have you spoke to him yet?" Lilly asked, going over to the sink full of dishes and turning the faucet on. I let out a long sigh, shoving the pan into the oven.

"No. And I don't want to, he has a girlfriend and—"

"Wait, what?" She stopped, my attention turning to the box of instant potatoes.

"You were there, Zayn said he had a girlfriend." I reminded her. She turned to me, her hands dripping soapy water.

"No he didn't. He said she acts like his girlfriend, he doesn't even like her." She corrected, my eyes widening. "He sits with her because they used to know each other and her friends ditched her, so he felt bad."

"Okay fine, but how to you explain ignoring me for almost three weeks?" I pointed, dumping the box into a big glass bowl.

"I don't know, maybe you should talk to him." She suggested. I was getting annoyed at the conversation, so I powered through the ingredients to the potatoes and put them in the microwave. "Em, all I'm saying is to let him tell his side of the story before you decide how you feel."

I stormed up the stairs and slammed the door of my bedroom, nearly tripping over the clothes on my floor. I grabbed my phone and dialed his number, because as much as it infuriated me, she was right.

"Emma."

"Why did you ignore me?" I asked immediately, opening my balcony door.

"I don't know." His voice was raspy, I could hear commotion in the background.

"That's fine, because I know the answer already. I tried really hard to be your friend, you used me and now I serve no purpose." I said through misty eyes, my voice cracked at the end.

"Okay, that's not true!" He argued.

"You treated me like dirt until the pool party, then I was suddenly all desirable? Now you regret it, so you ignore me. You know what? I'm not doing this!" I shouted. The entire time he was trying to say something, but I didn't stop. Then, I hung up.

I felt like crying, my eyes were already burning and I could feel the nausea setting in. I gripped the balcony rail and peered down at the pool, remembering back to the day my relatives came and swam. I wanted them to take me back to Utah so badly, but I also wanted to stay. Was it my new friends or was it Harry, and the way I liked being around him?

I heard the front door open and shut, loud shouting carried up the stairs that indicated my aunt and uncle were here. I composed myself and went back downstairs, Lilly had finished dishes and looked up at me. She mouthed 'I'm sorry', but I replied to her with a hug.

"Chris! Nikki! I'm so glad to see you." My mom cheered as she walked through the garage door with a grocery bag and a box of soda.

"Erin, we are so happy to be back. I can't get over how beautiful your house is." Nikki gushed to my mom. "Brett's in the living room watching the game, I think it just started."

"Oh, Em look at you! You look so tan." Nikki smiled, coming over and hugging me. "Who's this?"

"This is my friend Lilly. Her parents aren't in town so I invited her to join us." I replied. Lilly smiled, shaking her hand.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, digging it out.

I furrowed my brows and padded over to the front door, peaking out the window. I could see a figure standing outside with a hoodie on, my eyes rolled. I slipped on the first shoes I could find, my dad's pair of slippers, which were five sizes too big for me. I hugged my arms as I made my way down the driveway.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, annoyed. The wind was brisk, but I was the smart one wearing a sleeveless dress in the fall. He turned and noticed this, quickly sliding off his jacket and wrapping it around me.

"My turn to talk, just listen." He replied, shoving his hands in his jeans pocket. I pursed my lips, but listened, "You really think all those things about me?"

"Just stop, Harry. I don't have the time or energy for this stupid game." I grumbled.

"Jesus, can you just let me finish?" He yelled. I froze, staring at him. "I ignore you to protect you. I'm not a good person, I'll never be the guy that you deserve. My life is complicated and crazy, all I do is ruin everything. I'm sorry, but I think it would be better if we just forget anything ever happened."

I turned my attention to the ground, processing what he said. Forget it? I shook my head, a tear falling from my eye. I ripped his jacket off my shoulders and threw it at him, storming back inside. Isn't that what I've been saying all along, that he regrets it? Now he's just making excuses to justify his actions.

I shook off what had just happened as I stepped into the living room, pretending that conversation never happened. Like Harry didn't stand there and take the last remaining piece of my heart, ripping it to shreds. I flopped down on the love sac with Lilly and watched the football game, stuffed my face with Thanksgiving dinner and tried my hardest to forget about it.

———

I was extremely nervous for the party tonight, knowing what Harry had told me. How was I going to face him and just forget about my feelings for him? But, he did say he was complicated or his life was? I was confused, what did he mean by that? And to add to my nerves, I felt like I could toss chunks at any moment.

"This would look so good on you." Lilly held up a dress to my frame, it was black and casual. It was the dress I wore to my best friends birthday party in Utah, before we moved. She put it on my bed and turned to her outfit, a red tube top and black high waisted jeans. It was nearly time to leave, but I hadn't even touched my hair or make up, I was just too preoccupied with my thoughts.

In the end, Lilly did my hair while I did my makeup. I quickly slid on the dress, which was more snug than I remembered, and grabbed my shoes on the way out. We were already running super late, which meant I had to run. I was panting when I slid into her car, mainly due to the cold weather but add the athletics to it.

"So he told you to forget about him?" She shouted over her music, I could see a vein popping out of her neck.

"Yeah, as if that's supposed to make me less angry with him?" I groaned. "If I see him, I'm kicking his ass."

"I'll help you." She agreed, pulling up to the busy block of Nialls very small house. We jogged to the front door, I was wearing a dress and she was wearing a tube top in 30° weather. I grabbed my arms as Lilly knocked hard, rubbing hers after. Soon, a figure opened the door and we shoved inside, shivering and dropping our shoes with the rest of them.

"What are you drinking, babe?" Lilly asked, stepping into the kitchen. I shook my head.

"Water. I feel like shit today." I sighed, she smiled and grabbed two cups of water.

"That makes two of us!" She laughed, clinking our solo cups of water and taking a sip. I smiled, Lilly would sacrifice a night of drinking because I didn't want to. "I'm gonna find Niall, be right back!"

I stood there and sipped my water, looking around for any familiar face. I noticed Louis in the corner with a girl, but as soon as I saw them, they disappeared. I felt a hand on my shoulder, causing me to jump and turn around. To my surprise, it was Harry.

"What're you doing here?" He slurred. I felt myself step backward, my eyebrows furrowing together. Was he drunk? His eyes traveled up and down my body, causing me to shudder.

"Leave me alone, Harry." I brushed him off, walking somewhere in the crowded building. I found myself shoving into the smokers circle, Niall and Lilly sat there giggling at each other.

"Oh, Em! I was gonna come find you. Sit!" She patted, handing the joint to Niall. I smiled lightly at everyone, I noticed Zayn and Noelle across the group.

I saw Harry stumble into the room, looking around at everyone and then me. He motioned to the door, causing me to sigh and rise to my feet. Harry wobbled, nearly falling and causing me to grab his arm and support him as we stepped outside. He lazily took his jacket off and put it around my arms, I couldn't lie and say I didn't like when he did that.

He carefully sat down on a chair beside me, the other one had dirt on it so I decided to stand. Without warning, he grabbed my hips and guided me to his lap. I wanted to push away, but I suddenly felt comfortable being near him.

"I didn't mean what I said, Em." Harry slurred. I stiffened, glancing down at him. He almost looked sad, "I can't forget about it, I don't want you to."

"Harry, don't say that if you don't mean it."

"I do mean it. I just don't want you to get hurt." He admitted. I wanted to get off him and go home, instead I leaned against him and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. I rested my cheek against the top of his head. I could feel he was shaking under my touch, either from the cold or being drunk.

In that moment, I felt everything all over again. It all rushed back to me in that exact moment. I loved Harry Styles.