Chapter 3: Fighting Back My Love For Him

I made it to my class on time where we get to do a test review. "Oh yeah what fun." Amy said sarcastically. This made me laugh a little which was good after the horrible morning I had right before this. Even though I have this class with Amy I also have it with my worst enemy. Gwen Grayson!

Gwen Grayson thinks that she is all that, that every boy in school wants her and all the girls want to be her. In my opinion it's all the girls want to kill her, not be her. She is such a bitch and she started to flirt with Lash while I was with him, but that doesn't matter anymore. The point is that Gwen thinks she can rule this school because people like her, where I for one mostly defiantly do not.

According to her thoughts that I have read she is not a big fan of me either. Which I don't care about. Today I got lucky and class flew by very quickly. Me and Amy quickly grabbed our stuff and ran out heading towards the cafeteria to get as far away from the most evil girl every and because Amy was starving.

Lunch was good, we had some "Hero Sandwiches" which were surprisingly good to be school food and I didn't see Lash. Which that meant that he wouldn't try to get me back. Yet I was kinda disappointed not seeing him. He was probably bullying some kid.

I tried to get him out of mind and this whole morning thing and that kiss out of my head but I just couldn't! Why am I holding on? Why am I still thinking about this? Ugh Star stop thinking to yourself!

Lunch was soon over and we started to head to our next class however before we got there I remembered that I had left the book for the class in my locker.

"I got the wrong book out of my locker this morning. I gotta go to my locker." I told the twins.

"Ok I'll tell the teacher where you are." Ashley told me.

"Thanks!" I said turning and heading in the direction of my locker.

I turned a corner to see some nerdy kid...guess a freshman leaving the bathroom with his bag filled with toilet paper. This has to be Lash's doing. I watched the kid as he ran past me and turn the corner. I could smell that he must have gotten a swirly. Yep has to be Lash bullying him. I turned back taking a few steps forward since I still had to get my book when I started hearing Lash's laugh. I stopped and sure enough he walked out with Speed.

I guess they were proud of the bullying they just did. I stood there with my arms crossed and shaking my head "No" at Lash until he saw me. Once he saw me Lash stopped laughing but Speed gave us both weird looks. "Sure seems like your definitely trying to change huh?" I said fighting back anger and tears. I turned to walk away just forgetting about my book when I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist and pull me back.

"Mary please stop fighting me. Stop fighting what you feel....Now I said I'm sorry and that I will change. Mary change doesn't happen in a few hours or overnight...I really will change and I am sorry. You know I mean it. I'm not lying. Read my mind if you want. That will prove to you that I'm not lying." Lash said holding me tight against him.

"Lash I know you mean that...but..."

"But what Mary? I'm really am trying to change!" he said cutting me off.

"I know Lash but I can't go through another heart break. I'm sorry Lash I just can't take you back." I said not fighting to get out of his grip anymore.

He turned me around so that I was facing him.

"I go through a heart break every time I see you and all you do is run away. I try to make up for what I did and all you do is fight me about it...That breaks my heart every time. You're not the only one hurting here Mary." He said whispering looking into my eyes with he caring brown ones.

"I'm sorry Lash....can you please let me go so I can go to class?" I asked holding back tears and looking away from him.

Lash let me go without saying anything. I kept my head down and headed back the way I came. I went around the corner and stood at the edge and listened to Speed and Lash's conversation.

"Man just forget her, she'll just get in the way...besides she's not worth it." Speed said.

"She is worth it!" Lash yelled back.

"Whatever let's just go find some other kid to bully....oh we need to stuff one into a trash can." Speed said and I could hear him start to walk away but only his set of footsteps.

Then I started to read Lash's thoughts.

"She is worth it. I love her, I love you Mary. I'm sorry. Sorry for everything. I hope you can find it in your broken heart to forgive me and let me fix it. I love you." then I herd his footsteps heading in the same direction as Speed's.

I couldn't fight the tears this time. I started to cry. I ran to the girls room and went into the stalls trying to keep my weeps silent so no one would bother me and make it worse. I was in there for a few minutes when I heard the door open and the sound of two voice that I recognized with hatred. One was Penny the cloning cheerleader, who always follows Gwen around. So obviously Gwen was the other voice that I heard. I could hear them unzipping their make-up bags. I never understood why they do this.

I decided that I better get out before I read anymore of Gwen thoughts about how much she hates me and that I'm so stupid. I was about to open the door we could hear Couch Boomers voice yell once it stopped I could hear the mirror break. Ha ha Gwen no more make-up time for you.

Anyway I left without her catching me and headed to class realizing that I was late. I walked in apologizing for being late then sat down in between the twins and then realized that I never got my book. Luckily I got to share with the twins as we reviewed everything we learned last year.

This class can be boring depending on what we do...for example practicing stealth is fun, book work like today is boring. This class didn't fly by like my first but it was faster than normal boring days in this class from last year.

Finally class was over which was good and bad. Good because it was boring but bad because that meant that I would have to be in my last class with Lash.

Lash was already sitting when I walked in. I kept my head down and went to my seat. It a little bit surprised me when he didn't get up and tried to walk over and talk to me. I soon found out that he had another way to talk to me. A few minutes into class I saw a striped sleeve place a note on my desk then return to it's owner.

"Hey Mary. Sorry about earlier today :(" the note said.

"Sorry about which part the kiss at the stairs, the kid in the locker or outside the bathrooms? Which one are you sorry for?" I wrote back then placed it at the edge of my desk.

As soon as I did that and started to copy notes from the bored I saw his hand take the note. A little while later the note returned.

"I'm sorry about everything. I'm sorry about all of that! I really want to make it up to you....I really want you back. I miss you Mary....I still Love You!

"Lash please don't say that."

"But it's true. I do miss you and I do love you!"

"I know it's true....I heard what you told Speed."

"What?"

"That I AM worth it. :)"

"So you read my mind then too?"

"Yes I did."

"Well then why don't you like me saying that I miss you and that I love you?"

"Because Lash...you were a Jerk and you still are being a Jerk. You are bullying when you know that I don't like and it makes it hard for me when i'm trying to get over you." I said looking up making sure that we don't get in trouble with the teacher.

"You're trying to get over me?...I guess you're not succeeding.....Mary....Do you still Love Me?"

Oh great now what do I do? I can't tell him the truth that I do but I also don't want a repeat of what happened last time.

"Lash can we not talk about this right now? Can we talk about it later? Please."

"Ok. We'll talk about it later. :)"

"Thanks Lash!"

"You welcome....you look very beautiful today...I forgot to tell you that." I read his mind this time.

The bell rang finally and the day was over and now I had a major headache from so much confusion. Amy and Ashley dropped me off at my house and decided to stay.

"Hey mom!" Amy said walking in the back door.

"She's not our mom she's Star's mom." Ashley said getting a drink from the fridge.

"We come here enough that she is like a second mom to us...or at least to me." Amy shot back hugging my mom who was cooking.

"So girls how was school?" My mom asked.

"Ugh!" I groaned and ran upstairs to my room throwing my stuff on the floor the crashing on my bed.

My phone went off as I was starting to fall asleep. It was Lash.

"Hey Mary I really am sorry about everything today. I meant everything in that note...you know that right?" the text read.

"Yes Lash I know that. But you know that I hate bullying." I texted back.

"I know you do and if I promise that if you come back to me that I will make more of an effort then I have lately to change."

"You should put more effort into it anyway especially if you really Love me! >:(" I sent him getting a little mad or annoyed.

"I know and trust me I want to it's just...it's hard to explain but I can't right now."

"Can't or Wont Lash?" I sent him really angry now.

"Can't. I never wouldn't do anything if would make you feel better just cuz I wont do it. I would always choose the option that would make you happy if I could."

"Well why can't you?"

"It's hard to explain. Mary you know I'd never let anything bad happen to you. I don't wanna see you get hurt. Just Trust me on this Mary....I Love You :)

Then my door opened forcing me to hide my phone under my pillow.

"You ok Star?" Amy asked.

"Yeah I just have a major headache from Couch Boomer....I'm just gonna take a nap if that's ok." I said sitting up hold my hand to my head.

"I understand...You hungry?" she asked pointing downstairs.

"I'll be ok until after my nap." I said smiling at her.

"Ok...hope that headache goes away." she said smiling back then closing my door.

I waited until I couldn't hear her footsteps anymore. Then I got my phone out from under my pillow.

"Lash I'm sorry about being so mean to you earlier but it's just that I was so hurt from the day we broke up and I guess I just never got over it. Then when I see you bully and reminds me of that day. I'm sorry for being mad. :(" I sent him a little worried about if I should have sent it.

"I know. It's ok Mary don't worry I forgive you. It's my fault anyway that you act like that. So I'm sorry." he sent back.

"Lash that's not true you don't have to blame yourself." I don't know why I'm starting to say all of this.

Is my love for him taking over? I waited a little bit to see if he would reply but he didn't text back. I waited a little while longer but still no reply from him.

"Lash? You there?" I sent him starting to get worried. This was not like him.

Then I heard something hit my window. I didn't think much of it until I heard it a second and third time. I had to get up to see what it was but keeping my phone in my hands to text Lash if I needed to.