i open my eyes, hoping to see my feet covered with a blanket and maybe an i.v in my hand; something that shows i'm in a hospital, but i'm met with the opposite.

calum, lifeless and already turning pale, lays on the floor. blood fills my carpet; it's like a movie scene from a movie i really wouldn't want to see. it's, by far, the most terrifying thing i've ever seen. i look at michael, who's just staring at calum in complete shock, holding the gun he just used for the first time. his hands are shaking, his eyes are wide, and his mouth is slightly a gape. i want to say something, but i can't. luke is the first to speak. "michael," he says. michael urgently turns to look at luke, "put it down." luke whispers. michael looks down at his left hand, where the gun lays, and lets it fall to the floor with a soft thud. he swallows a lump in his throat and looks down at calum, immediately starting to cry. michael hugs calum so tight, but calum looks so lifeless, and the fact that his brown eyes are open makes everything one hundred times worse. i feel my heart actually break when i hear michael mumble over and over, i'm so sorry, baby. i'm so sorry. i love you, i'm sorry.

"why isn't it working?!" michael shouts, turning to face me. i open my mouth to say something, but i realize i really don't know what to say, so i just shrug.

"didn't you say that ashton had to kill calum?" luke asks, his voice shaky and quiet.

my eyes widen at the sudden realization. "oh, my god." i mumble, resting my head in my hands. "no, this can't be happening."

"wait," michael speaks up. i look up at him.

"what? i'm never gonna wake up, just let it go." i state. michael shakes his head.

"no, i think there's one more way." michael says, wiping his tears away quickly and standing up. i do the same, as does luke.

"wha-what way?" i ask, wiping away some tears that managed to spill and doing my best to ignore the lifeless calum on the floor.

"get rid of the part that caused you to be in the hospital. the one that actually caused the accident." he says. my eyebrows furrow in confusion. i don't even know who the hell caused it, how am i supposed to get rid of them? i sound like some murderer, god damn.

"who caused it?" i ask. michael's eyes fall to his hands as he fumbles with them awkwardly.

"i caused it," luke speaks up. i immediately turn to face him. "it was me."

"y-you? what happened?" i ask. he smiles softly.

"you were on your way to pick up dinner. i had a bad craving for chinese food, and you agreed to go and get some, even though it was pouring rain that night." he smiles at the thought, and continues, "you were gone a while, and i got worried. so i texted you. you answered saying that traffic was bad, you'll be home soon. and, what the officers said, you were paying more attention to your phone than the road, and you crashed. put you in a coma. and i've blamed myself since."

i sigh, taking in what he said to me, "oh, luke." i engulf him in a hug and he doesn't hesitate to hug back.

"just get it over with, ash." he mumbles into my shoulder. and my heart drops to my stomach and i feel like i'm going to throw up. i can't kill luke. luke is...luke. i can't do it.

i pull away from the hug, panic rushing through me. "i-i-i can't. i won't. luke, i-"

"hey," he whispers, interrupting me. i give my attention to him, trying to calm my breathing down. "what?" i ask, swallowing the lump in my throat.

he cracks a smile, "we'll do it together." he holds my shaky hands in his and looks over to michael, i do the same. michael looks down to his feet, where the gun now lays. michael takes a deep breath and picks up the gun off the floor with shaky hands. my heart races when he carefully hands it to luke. my breathing quickens when i look down at my hands and see my right one still intertwined with luke's, but my left hand is empty, until i feel luke hand me the gun.

he sends me a small smile, and fixes the gun firmly in my left hand. he places his hand over mine and i close my eyes so tight when he begins to rise the gun up to his temple.

"on three," he announces, "i love you, everything's going to be okay." he says. i open my eyes but immediately regret it when i see the gun is pressed firmly against his temple, making my heart almost stop. but, for some reason, the fact that he said that everything's going to be okay, makes me calm down a little.

he sighs. "one,"

i feel the tears build up in my eyes, "two," i continue.

and finally, he finishes. "three."

i screw my eyes shut and pull the trigger.

i open my eyes, and what i'm met with makes me, possibly, the happiest person in the world.

"ashton? you're awake!"

+

yay