the first thing i see when i open my eyes is, honestly, not a person i expected to see. i thought i would see luke, maybe calum, even michael; but no.

it's my mom.

"ashton?" i hear her say, excitement and hope fills her voice, "you're awake!" she says happily when my eyes completely open. she doesn't look very different; that makes me happy.

i smile. "mom?" i ask. my voice is groggy and it's seems a bit difficult to talk. then i remember it's been about three years since i've used my voice.

"oh, my gosh." she breathes, her eyes already watering. "can-can i hug you?"

"i-i thought you hated me." i stutter out.

she makes a pain filled noise and shakes her head. "no, i was just stupid. i love you." she says.

i smile. a weak smile, but it's a smile.

"so, can i hug you?" she asks once agiain.

before i can tell her yes, she's already hugging me. i hesitate, because this all feels so different, but wrap my arms around her. not tightly, because i really don't have much strength, but i hug her back. the cannula in my nose tickles me slightly.

"mom, stop crying." i say, quite weakly, might i add.

"i missed you so much, ashton." she says through tears. i'm almost worried, but then i hear her laugh a few seconds after and i know that she's happy.

i pull away from the hug, as does my mom, but not without cupping my cheeks with her hands and smiling at me. "oh, my gosh. i can't believe it. it's you, you're awake. my baby." she wipes some tears away with her right hand then returns it to my cheek. i smile and engulf her in a weak hug once again.

i don't notice the door opening. or someone walking in the room. but i do notice him when my mom pulls away, revealing himself to me. he looks...different then what i remember, actually. he looks so sad; so broken. the bags under his eyes tell me that he hasn't slept much, and the stains on his red flannel point out that he hasn't changed in quite some time. my smile fades when i see him. only because he looks the way he does; it breaks my heart. a small smile forms on his face. we meet each others gaze; his dull-- but soon to be lit up-- brown eyes locking with my hazel. "a-ashton?" calum stutters out.

i smile, and the relief i feel when i see him is honestly the feeling of a weight being lifted from my shoulders; nothing's ever felt better. happiness spreads through me, and before i know it, calum is engulfing me in a tight hug-- which, i do, flinch at.

"oh," he mutters in realization, loosening his grip as he does so, and pulling away to look at me, as to see if he's broken me in some way, "sorry."

"it's okay." i mutter. he smiles.

"i missed your voice. and your eyes, they're still so hazel, you're still ashton. thank god." he mumbles, more to himself than to me, but i still listen. i smile, a little awkwardly, and hug him once again, but don't say anything. i close my eyes and enjoy the moment, taking it all in. to say i've missed everything would be an understatement. even if calum does smell a little.

"ashton?" i hear a voice say. i pull away from calum's embrace and look behind him. i immediately smile.

"hi, michael."

he blinks a few times as a smile starts to grow on his face. his hair isn't as simple as i remember it to be; he's dyed his hair a bright purple; which makes him look hot, if you ask me.

"he's- and you're- what? really?" he babbles, the smile on his face only growing. i chuckle softly, nodding and motioning for him to come over to me. michael doesn't hesitate to do so. he sits beside me as calum moves a little to give him room. i smile at him, and he returns it.

"nice to have you awake, bud. we missed you." he says. i chuckle softly, nodding my head. michael gives me a quick hug.

then i come to a thought.

"hey, i don't mean to be rude, but where's lucas?" i ask, letting out a chuckle.

"it's luke." a familiar voice says, i can hear the smirk in his voice. all heads turn to the door and there, standing there in a pink floyd t-shirt and skinny jeans with his hair tucked in a beanie, is luke. my luke. alive and well.

i feel my eyes start to water, but i quickly wipe them away. "well," i chuckle through my tears, "are you gonna give me a hug, or what?"

he smiles and quickly walks - well, runs - over to me and engulfs me in a comforting embrace. it feels so nice, i never want to let go.

"hey," my mom speaks up. i pull away from luke's hug slightly, "we're gonna go get some lunch, if the doctor comes in," she points to, what i think is my phone plugged into a charger, and smiles, "call me." i send her a smile and nod. luke pulls up a chair beside me as soon as everyone leaves and rests his chin in the palms of his hands, making me smile.

"so," he starts, "how was being asleep for practically three years?"

i chuckle, looking down at my hands that sit on my lap and smile, "weird," i breathe out, "your mind does this thing-- it continues a dream for song long and you begin to think it's real. it's scary, almost. i'm just glad i'm awake." i finish. luke frowns softly, but quickly smiles, taking his left hand and gently grabbing my right one. i smile at his actions and grasp it softly.

he smiles, licking his lips quickly, "so am i."

+

"everything seems to be in check. you can go home as soon as you change out of that hospital gown and we remove the i.v. you've seemed to have skipped a few stages of recovery, but that's okay."

"skipped?" i ask.

he nods. "yes. recovery after a brain injury goes through a series of stages. these stages represent only general categories." he says casually, yet i'm still confused.

"categories? is everyone like that?" i ask.

"sometimes, recovery can stop at one of these stages and not progress to the next stage. the transition between stages is usually very gradual. every person recovers at a different pace, so it is difficult to compare the experience of one person to another. you're fine- in other words. this happens to people all the time. congratulations, nonetheless, mr. irwin. you're very lucky. leave whenever you like."

i smile at the doctor, "thank you, i guess." i mumble.

he nods, giving me a reassuring smile before leaving the room.

it's been about three weeks since i've woken up, and things couldn't be better. i'm healthy, calum and luke aren't dead, michael isn't depressed and crying. everyone's happy. and i couldn't ask for anything else. michael and calum are together. hitched. can you believe it? after all this time, they're together. no problems whatsoever. they're both very happy together. me and luke are going great as well.

"babe?"

i turn to the door of my hospital room, and see luke, his appearance much more put together than the first time i saw him since i woke up. his plain, black long sleeve making his appearance more bright. his ripped skinny jeans and black converse making me feel at home.

"ready to go home?" he asks, smiling at me.

i walk over to him and intertwine my fingers with his and return the smile. i nod, "absolutely."

+

HI YEAH SORRY IF YOU READ THIS 4536356 YEARS AGO BUT I ORIGINALLY HAD A SEQUEL TO THIS OUT but i like this so much more bc happy n yeah !! yay ok yay

this book is my actual baby, i hoped you liked it.

i have other lashton books out, if you're interested in them, give them a go ! they're updated regularly !

..well, i'll see you guys later, i love you all to bits. thank you so much for reading this !!

bye fam :-))

- haley xx