Bree Tanner

Andrew Ruiz

"Say sike right now." I say staring at Isabella Marie Swan who came into my room and took off her shirt. "Holy fucking smokes dude." I say staring the collarbone tattoos she got done. "Oh my gods."

"Do you like them?"

"They're beautiful. Ray did such a good job." I say poking at the red skin. "Oh I can't believe you went to Ray over me!"

"I'm sorry."

"Let me give one too."

"Ok."

-

"And done." I say turning off my machine. "Now that's it done."

"It's beautiful." Bella says looking down at the tattoo I gave her, it's a dagger with a carnation, to match mine, twinning. "Now I need pain meds and sleep."

"Alright."

-

"Please you are making this so much more difficult than it needs to be!" I yell at Leah who was in charge of helping me with the gender reveal prep, not that she was doing a good job.

"You're the one who wants to do all this extra shit!" She argues from behind Calvin's car which I might have borrowed without permission. Oh well. "I mean you have smoke and confetti cannons why do you need both cars to release the smoke?"

"It's the first baby of the pack of course it's gonna be extra." I tell her. "Don't worry I'll be even worse for the rest."

"I'll be in hell forever at this rate. Emily and Sam are gonna start trying too."

"Yay!" Leah groans and I finally finished with Ruby's smoke or powder whatever it is. "Alright here I'll finish it."

"Are you ever sad?"

"About what?"

"Not aging no kids you know the whole picket fence dream."

"Sometimes, but I haven't wanted that kind of life for while." I say shrugging. "Kids were never my thing and honestly that's really the only thing affected."

"Not aging?"

"Sometimes the idea is nice. And then I remember I'll outlive everyone and than I start to miss my working tear ducts." I laugh a little and stand up. "I think I'll actually die when dad does. I won't survive that one."

"Well at least you got a long time before that happens."

"Not long enough."

-

I was running around doing a million things last minute the only good thing was that I got to use Emmett's Jeep because Ruby was out of commission until tonight. Said Emmett was in the passenger seat holding the cupcakes, and pouting.

"I just don't get why you have to drive." He says again looking out of the window.

"I like being in control."

"I know that well enough." He says looking over to me smirking.

"Keep joking I'll never touch you again." I tell him making the stop at my house so I can get ready and go. "Alright I'll see you later."

"No kiss?" He asks handing over the cupcake boxes. "Don't you love me?"

"One kiss and I gotta get ready." I tell him letting him kiss me. "Bye."

"Bye."

-

Bella was driving because I was sitting in the truck bed with cupcakes and shit. Plus Achilles took shotgun spoiled dogs man. Whatever I just need everything to go perfect and then it's wedding mania and then a blissful ever after.

"She's crying again." Jared says as we pull up to the beach. "Here I'll take this go do that girl thing and fix it."

"Such a way with words." I mutter jumping out of the truck, and walking to see Vivian bawling her eyes out on a log. "Aw mama what happened?" I ask sitting next to her.

"It's just so much and you care so much." She whines through her tears. "I don't deserve all this and look at all the gifts and it's so nice."

"Oh baby." I coo rubbing her back. "It's alright you deserve it all, especially for dealing with Logan." I joke and she laughs wetly. "See it's all good, come let's clean you up and get some food okay." She nods and let's me help her stand so she can waddle towards the cars.

"Life saver." Logan says smiling.

"Yea yea, go help Sam set up the tables, Leah and Alex will set up the treat table." I tell him following Viv. "So are you excited for the gender?"

"Yea, I'm so excited to have a girl." She says looking at me and I just lift a eyebrow. "Boy? Fine don't tell me."

"I won't and neither will Leah." I say shaking my head while I help her fix her makeup. "Besides you'll know in a hour."

"That's so long."

"You'll live."

-

"Alright alight last call for bets on the gender." Paul yells shaking the box I made. "Red for Boy, White for girl lets go people." I toss Leah the keys to ruby because I think Calvin would cry if I let her in his car.

"Alright let's do this people." I yell and get into the car. I rigged the confetti canons and smoke canons to go off automatically to go off automatically after 10 seconds. "And remember white for girl red for boy."

Leah I start the cars before starting to do donuts, may as have fun with it right? After a donut and a half the smoke dust comes and ladies bros and non binary hoes it's a boy. Just as the cheering starts the canons go off and glitter confetti and even more red smoke fills the air. After a few more spins I get out of the car.

"It's a boy!" Jared yells at Paul while they jump around a crying Logan. I laugh and walk up to Viv who is also in tears, again.

"Congratulations momma." I say and she waddles into my arms. "It's a boy!"

"I'm so happy." She says though her tears.

"Yea your snot shows that."

-

I was watching while Emmett, Jasper, Andrew, and Calvin did the heavy lifting not that I couldn't, I just didn't want to. So I'm watching from my seat on the railing.

"These shoes are ridiculous." Bella mumbles while Alex and Bree help her walk back and forth across the patio.

"No what's ridiculous is none of you are telling me what your dress looks like." I tell her. I mean can you believe it I spend all this time planning this wedding and she withholds the most important part from me. Betrayal of the highest form.

"It's a surprise for you." She says rolling her little eyes.

"Whatever." I check the time. "Jasper it's time to go get Bella's mom and her boyfriend."

"Why is she only my mom all of sudden?"

"She's always only been your mom. I just spawned into existence via the love of Charlie Swan." I tell her. "Jasper now please."

"Yes ma'am." He says putting down the last log.

"No offense but why Jasper, isn't it dumb to like put him in a confined space with humans?" Calvin asks picking up another one of the logs.

"Well either it helps his tolerance or he eats them and I no longer have to deal with them." I say shrugging. "Win win situation really."

"Horrible." Jasper mutters as he passes me.

"Thank you cowboy, and good luck you'll need it with her." I pick up the checklist Viv made because she's better at all this than I am. "Okay the wicked witch of the west is getting picked up, shoes are being broken in and the pack went to go get the flowers. All that's left is bachelorette parties."

"Party." Bella corrects and I shake my head. "I barley want one why two?"

"Because you invited Renee to the first one." Alex tells her. "So nice dinner and drinks with her and then clubbing and strippers after."

"I don't want to see men strip."

"Who said anything about male strippers?" Alex asks wiggling her brows.

"Wait why do they get to go to the strip club but we just go hunting?" Emmett asks Calvin. "Unfair man."

"Please you know Clownward would cry if he had to be in close vicinity to other women." I say shaking my head. "You could always ditch him and come with us."

"You'd let him go to a strip club?" Calvin asks.

"I'm secure."

-

"Oh no they're here." I say hearing Jasper's car pull up. "You three run while you can." I tell Bree Alex and Andrew who nod seriously before heading upstairs. "Lucky bastards." I mumble and Esme shakes her head. "200 bucks on her bringing up coke." Calvin and Jasper nod agreeing to the bet.

"400 on Addison." Andrew says from upstairs.

"I'm not betting to lose." I say back right as the door opens. "Here lies my will to half live."

"Oh Bella!" Renee yells as she comes barreling into the house. "I've missed you my baby." Maybe I can sneak out, I turn to do just that but Emmett and Calvin turn me back around before I make it out. "Oh Celeste."

"Renee." I say stepping back from her attempt of a hug, she makes a face.

"Mom come meet everyone." Bella says grabbing her arm. "This is Edward's mom Esme." I should kill her.

-

"So you two are still dating?" Renee asks me and Emmett while the three sit down to eat, I made Jasper take Alex food.

"Fortunately for me." Emmett says smiling at me, I shake my head knowing where this is going. "So I hear you play baseball." He says to Phil understanding what I meant.

"Yea down in Jacksonville it's minor league but I love it." Phil says while he devours whatever Esme made, some fancy pasta, I miss food. "You play any sports?"

"No." Calvin and Jasper answer for him. "We're just very big sports fans." Calvin continues giving Emmett a look.

"Oh really, I was expecting a football player." Phil jokes. "So what's your favorite?" He asks Emmett.

"Wrestling." Calvin says making Jasper laugh.

"Ignore Calvin he's an attention whore." Emmett says snuffing his brother. "I'm big on football and baseball mostly."

"So what exactly do you two have in common Celeste." Renee asks with her stupid snark face. "You don't even like the outdoors."

"Well we both hate absentee mothers for a start." I say. "Besides sports isn't the only thing in the world surprisingly."

"Of course not there's always doing enough cocaine to total a car." She says with a smile, silently Calvin and Jasper each pull out $200 and pass it to me.

"It was a shit car anyway." I say egging her on because I can.

"Well we can't all inherit cars from our suicidal friends."

"I'll fucking kill her!" Andrew says and Jasper immediately goes to keep him upstairs and calm.

"Addison was her girlfriend mom." Bella says quietly. "Now apologize for saying both of those things." Renee looks shocked at Bella telling her that and she just raises her eyebrows waiting.

"I guess Bella's right, I shouldn't bring that up. I mean you learned your lesson by now, especially after the coke made you infertile."

"Mom!"

"Maybe that's why Phil's cheating on you with his equipment manager." I say leaning back. "She's a real pretty lady too, and you know she actually raised her kids."

"Phil?" Renee questions and he just stares down at the table.

"Now let's not make this about you because it's not, I have to go pick up some things. See you at the party." I say smiling down at her. "Let's go!" I yell up to Alex, Bree and Andrew. They come down and Andrew glares at Renee as he passes.