whole year

···> CHAPTER 7 . Nate's POV <···

/ Six months ago /

Ending in the police station was certainly something I wasn't anticipating at all. Even in my worst encounters with Ryan, no matter how intoxicated we got or that we ended it with our fists, I'd never been arrested before. My fists were burning and my knuckles were raw, but the rest of my body felt steamy. My jaw was still throbbing from that idiot's blow and much to my luck I must had stepped bad and twitched my anckle at some point because it was aching as well. At least it wasn't swollen so I wasn't seriously damaged. It won't affect my football.

The man that had dragged me here had the biggest scowl I even seen and a powerful beard that gave him that image of strong alfa he provably needed for the job. The idiot that called me lowlife was somewhere near, in one of the continuos cell. The fat cop in charge of us was Doug, one of Harold's bar friends. And for the look he'd given me, he'd recognized e the moment I step in. He's the one that located me when I try to run a year ago. A bad childish idea, but it would' been better if this moron didn't dragged me back to him.So even if I manage to get out without bothering the asshole's beauty sleep, this fucker would be there to snitch on me.

But how was I gonna get out of here, now that was the question. On our little quarell we've damages some urban furniture I couldn't even remember so we couldn't just walk away. They had set us a bail to pay. All the buzzled dizziness I'd felt on that viewpoint was washed away as soon as they put the cuff on me but then it was already too late.

I been here for what it felt like hours, sitting on the uncomfortable cell and waiting for fate to happen. They say I got one call and I was considering very carefully who to call. Seth, much like myself, could afford the bail on his own and Kimberly was out of town. What other options had I?

Maybe I should call Trish... She wouldn't be happy about it but after everything that's the least she owed me.

Or Bear... Yeah, Bear was certainly the best option. Joke was he could effortlessly pay my bail and got me out of here in seconds but our little fight still hanging over my head. I hit no choice tho. I'd had to beg a bit and after stroking his ego he'll let me out of here without anyone else knowing.

There were voices and a little commotion I couldn't quiet undestand them, nor like I bothered trying , sure they weren't any of my business. But then the there were steps comming closer and I lifted my head from resting against the brick wall beside the uncomfortable bench of my cell. The light over our sectios were suddenly turned on and I shut my eyes out in an attempt to block out the sudden annoying light.

I heard Doug complain but my head hurt too much until he properly vocalize: "You were very lucky, boy."

When I opened my eyes I found myself facing the stern look of the agent as he fiddled with the keys before stucking the right one on the hole and the door screeched open. The absurdity of his comment was so noisy I laughed bitterly.

"Lucky? Go and suck m-" he cut me pulling me up my feet with a sharp tugged of my arm. As soon as I as up my world bended. Maybe I hadn't sobered up as much as I'd thought.

"They just paid your bail, Herond." he scoffed tugging me to walked before him and out that depressing section. "Don't spoil it so soon."

"My ... bail?" I drawled and for the first time that fucking night I wished I had drunk a little less to understand that. I still yet to call anyone. Who would had pay that? I frowned. "Who has paid? Was it Seth?"

The world spun around me, and focusing was almost painful. They led me to the entrance and I was sure my gait was not too decent either, but I managed not to collapse until I reached the waiting room. By the moment I stepped into that room my eyes met a known green once that held so much disappointment if shrink straight to my chest.

"Mom?" I choked out. What was she doing here? I barelly felt the handcuffs being removed from my wrist and the beared alfa guy form before gesturing me to go. I could only focused on the way she was looking at me. "I- I can explian it-"

"I really don't have time for it now." she cut coldly making me all the more apprensive. My hear pounding harder now and a new buzziness filled my already doozed mind. "I got to be at work in ten."

"But-"

"I don't wanna heard it!" she spat, narrowing her gaze in deception and it stun like a slap. She shouldn't had find out. Her paying the bail would only made him angry. This needed money that would had served us well but now it's all gone because my stupid tantrum. I wanted to justify myself, to win her back because I was dying from the look she was givin me, even worst when she sighed. "I'm so disappointed in you, Nathan. I was expecting better."

Ouch, that did hurt. I blink the stingging sensation of my eyes remembering we weren't alone in here. "I-"

"Sh," she waved her hand, my chest clenching further. "Not now."

"We're done here, Mrs Herond." Informed the officer tipping the last things on the clipboard and sending her a quick glance. "You're free to take him anytime now. The other part won't be presenting charges since they were the once that started but if this happen again then Nathan would have antecedents. You get what that means?"

"Crystal clear, agent. But there won't be another time, will it?"

Her voice wasn't as annoyed as she answer him and I lowered my head, my jaw clenching. "No."

"Good. Let's go."

Not giving me time to react my mother nodded at Doug and the one behind the counter, spun on her heels and left. I followed her quickly, like a lost puppy. "Mom, please-"

"How could you?" she shook her head, stopping before the old grey Ford she owned. Her gaze hard and sever and I wanted to crawl on the floor and disappear. I couldn't stand disappointing her. I just couldn't. It physically pained me.

"I didn't meant for it to happen. He was being a dick and told me-"

"I don't care what he did." she huffed and shook her head, that awful look still present and felt like she was twisting my heart painfully. "You should had known better than to resolved it violently."

"Are you kidding me?" I couldn't help but scoffed as a wave of liquid anger flued throught me at her words. "Now your defending a no-violence policity?"

She grimaces, taking the blow and I immediatelly regret it but, I mean, it wasn't a lie. "I-I..." She mascaraed it quickly and was back to her other-sever-glare. "We're not talking about this but about you. You want a police report, uh? Is that it? You could ruin your life if a savage fight go wrong. Not to talk about the bail! You know we can't afford this right now." she sughed stressfully brushing hair back. "Harry won't like it-"

My guts twisted just thinking how mad he'll get over this. "Don't tell him." I muttered and her eyes locked with mine, for a moment I think I saw simphaty swirling between all the frustration and her own stress. "I'm sorry... I-I'll find a way to repay you just don't tell him yet, please."

But to my horror she shook her head. "It's done. He already knows."

No.

"Mum..." it came out like a plead but that didn't faze her.

"What did you expected, uh? A phone call in the middle of the night? Arrested for an agression? drunk like this? Come on, Nathan!" I was shaking my head, struggling to process her words even in my frantic state of fearful apprension and boozed confusion. A phone call? I ain't call shit! She scoffed throwing her hands to the air frustratedly. "You know what? We'll talk about it later. I'm really late by now." she turned to the side just and following her gaze mine widened seeing none other than Hailey Grace standing there awkwardly, shifting on her feet a few feet away.

What was she doing here? How much did she heard? But the nervousness of it all turned to rage when I noticed my belinging in her hands. My phone. Had she called my mother? My fists clenched. How could she?!

"Such a pleasure." sneered my mother to her and she nodded shyly in return, looking really nervous herself but I couldn't see pass my own anger. "See you soon."

Mum gave me one last glance and get into the old car without giving me the chance to explian myself... worst, she left me panicking now knowing Harold knew about the bail. Suddenly the air felt really heavy and my blood pressure increase. He'll kick my ass for good now.

My ribs were still hurting from last lesson. If there was something sacred for that asshole that was his TV and his weekly escapes to the bar with his dumbass friends. My bail would surely altered the family's economy at least a little and he won't be happy about it. Not in the slightlest. It creeped me out just thinking what his reaction would be.

Fuck, that's why I didn't even considered calling them. I should had called Seth right away... Even Bear. I would had been out hours ago and Harold won't ever would had to know.

"Nate." a soft voice snapped me out my frantic thoughts and almost made me flinch. I looked toward it only to find Hailey concerned, careful gaze as she stepped closer. Ire burned my insides. It was her fault. She called them. Who ask her to?! In fact, what wa sshe even doing here?She gulped sensing my mood and held out my phone and jacked for me to take. "I-I kept this for you."

Congrats, I wanted to snapped but clenched my jaw, something telling me I shouldn't take my resent out on her... right? but once I looked from her wary clear eyes and saw my phone anger was too powerful to held it down.

"I can't believe you called her." I spat, yanking them from her hold agressibly and making her jumped steped backwards, almost scared. My guts clenched in guilt but that only added to my fury. She caused this. I wouldn't be in this mess if she hadn't involved my mother. I would had to face Harold's wrath. I wouldn't- "I can't fucking believe it." I furiosly slided the jaket on and began walking where Letty was, at the end of the parking lot. She must had drove her here too. My Letty. "Fuck!"

"Nate." Hailey called after me. Seriously, what was she still doing here? I took out my car keys from the jacket's poket, hoping she'll get it but instead heard her again: "Come on you can't drive like this, you're drunk." I pressed my lids forcefully, not stopping as I prayed for her to walk away before I lost control and fully snap on her. I was losing it the more she remained around. I was to open the vehicle but she overtook it and dared to snatch the keys from me, blocking my path before I could and finally blowing the last brick on my precarious self control. "Nate-"

"What?!" I snapped louder than I intended, feeling as if rage poured out of me like a mad current, uncontrolable, making her flinch but the stung in my stomach at her reaction only made it flue more. "Hell, WHAT?"

She stammered on step backwards, unprepared for my fury. Well, neither was I to handle her bullshit after she just ruined my night big time.

"I... I just-"her stuttered bloathed my vexation. She stubbornly pestered me and now couldn't even say a proper sentense?

"You what, Gracie?" I spat her nickname aiming to made her feel my frustration even if it was just one bit. "The fuck you want now?"

My chest squeezed when her lower lip quivered and her eyes glimmered. No, don't you cry on me now. "I'm sorry. I-I know you're mad at me for calling your parents, b-but they were taking you, and I... I didn't know what else to do."

And she even dared to play the victim here! My fists clenched and I narroed my eyes at her. "What about you go home and stop fucking everyone else's life?"

I knew I was being too harsh as she gasped, taking out my rage on her but at the moment I needed to let this boiling feeling inside me out, and Gracie was giving me the perfect chance. Her eyed darted between mine, struggling to read through me and for some reason her vulnerability stirred my remorse all the more and so my self control.

"I couldn't do that," she whispered finally to my utter infuriation. "We are-"

"-friends?" i finished for her in a scoffed and her eyes widened, hurt at my mocking tone. She can't just ruin my night, bought me a beating and still put that kicked-puppy-eyes and expected me to let it slip like nothing. Friends? Ha! "You really are pathetic if you thought we were."

"W-we're not?" she stuttered making me scoff.

"Certainly not." I mean, we had a moment at the viewpoint... or so I think, I couldn't think clearly right now. So what if we get along there, the moment a true handicap get in the way she went straight to the person that made my life hell. A friend would never do that.

"But- But you defend me..."

"What?" I let our a dry laugh, not believing my ears. I defend her? When? With that fucker? Oh my god, was that why she staid all this time in here? because she thinks she owes me something? "That idiot called me a 'low life'. Why would I risk getting beaten over you?"

Her eyes widened, embarrassed and I felt that guilt clenching my guts once ore at the hurt and blush overing ehr expression now. "Oh."

She looks so lost I felt the urge to apologize but a voice in the back of my head reminded me of Harold and I fisted my hands in burning rage. This girl standing innocently before me just sell me for nothing. She should be the one apologiing, no playing it innocent and making my stoamch flipped. Maybe that, added to my still half buzzed mind, was the reason next words spill out my mouth withought any filter, like venom.

"I mean come on, look at you. You're boring as hell, too good to even dare to think of something rather fun. You're plain, and childish. And in case you didn't notice, we've met for like a decade and you have to get me drunk in order to endure you following me around like a brainless puppy." Everything hurt, everything felt like it was aching in agony and I felt like a pressure cooker. That releasse was all I needed to explote and at the moment couldn't focuse on why or who, just on letting the pain roll out. Something in the back of my mind was telling me to drop it, tho, but with the furious part of me urging me to hurt her as much as she's hurt me I could barely heard it. I laughed in disbelieve and my chest clenched when a tear rolled down her eye and she quickly wipped it. Just stop! "So fucking pathetic and lame, dull... Always the second plate. From your mother, brothers... even Justin."

"Stop-"

I couldn't.

"And you think we are friends? Ha!" she flinched and I, irked by my own mysery, glared harder; hating she was making me felt worst with her pity display. "Don't you get it, Gracie? I wouldn't be your friend even if you let me fuck you for it." she gasped, her jaw dropping and stepped back, horrified at his bluntness and cruelty. I was horrified myself but it wasn't on my power anymore. "So do us both a favor and next time you get lost and found a party, fucking turn around. It would save us a lot of headaches."

Hailey hugged her middle, dropping her gaze and let out a weeping sound. Great, now she was hurt and shaking, and the worst part was that I didn't felt better in the slightest. I felt like a jerk for blowing up on her. But why? She was the one that betrayed me. Then why I felt like shit as she reache dout to wipped more tears? Tears I caused.

The lace around my lungs constricted further and I had to diverted my gaze, reaching out to held on Letty for support and brushing my skull with my other hand. My head throbbing mercilessly and the whole night feeling like a nightmare rather than reality. Maybe it was. Maybe I'd wake up tomorrow finding out this was all a drunken dream.

I hope it was.

"Now," I spoke again, way calmer this time. "Can you just drive us home so we can call it a night?"

It didn't had any soothing effect on her tho. I saw her fist clenched and her ever soft eyes sharpening, glaring at me in a way I hated myself a little more. No wonder why! I just spat all my poison on her. Okay, I was definitely out of place taking my rage on her. Utterly disgusted I realized I push her down in order to felt better myself. Just like him. My insides crumbled upside down. Not only I'd failed miserably, but also I was just as messed up as he was.

Hailey didn't deserved that. I wasn't her fault I was a mess. But just as I was parting my lips she out of the blue threw the car keys back at me, hitting my elbow before dropping heavily at my feet.

What the fuck? I shockedly glared back.

"Drive yourself home, you moron." she yelled back, not as shyly vulnerable anymore, and just like that spun around and marched away but stoped after a few strides and turned to glared at me some more. I wished she just wouldn't. As upset as I was with her at the moment, her distress I just caused made me felt miserable as well. "I'm sorry if calling your parent's got you so mad, but it was the right thing to do, okay?"

No, it wasn't okay. And it wasn't the right thing to do neither!

Just like that, all my fury was back at her words. How dared she? But she wasn't really aiming for an answer from me, as my eyes narrowed she just wipped more tears in that sad performance she was playing.

"And don't worry, I won't bother you anymore, but the same goes for you. Don't you ever come close, nor look at me, nor nothing. And don't you ever speak to me again!"

I snorted. Me coming close for more of this bullshit? "As if", and leaned to get the keys from where they lay.

But deep inside something in me pang with yearn and regret.

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