After the dispute with Sandra was settled, I could finally focus on the task at hand, which was to confront Sean once and for all. That evening we all went to Raymond Corbett's party because he threw the best ones, and rumor had it that even Sean would be there. I had the outline of my plan figured out. The rest I could improvise.

Parties are ideal places for things to happen. The combination of deafening music, cheap beer and late night equals poor judgment, and perhaps Sean could make one and surrender himself to me—I was kidding, of course. It would be the best decision of his life.

By the time I arrived, the party was in full swing. Bodies swayed against the music, and music bounced around the walls like wavy fluids, like shaking a glass tank full of colorful water. The air promised excitement. I went to Raymond first and asked if I could book a single room.

"Are you going to mess up my bed?" he said.

"No! I just want some privacy so I can talk to him undisturbed."

He cooperatively handed me the key to his room, like the good friend he was. Step one: complete. "Well, if the situation permits, I don't mind if you use my bed."

See? Such a pal.

Next stop was the kitchen. My eyes skimmed over the counter and located a bottle of raspberry vodka. I downed enough of it until the slightest sense of wooziness kicked in, but not so much it'd mess up my speech. I wanted to be confident, not a slurry drunk with a stupid grin.

As the invigorating elixir coursed through my veins, I started to feel like Popeye after he sucked in a can of spinach through his pipe. Step two, done. I was brave and invincible, ready for Sean.

It wasn't hard to find him. He was sitting on the sofa with his basketball teammates playing some kind of drinking game, and at the moment he was laughing at something.

I squeezed in right next to him. "I want to play too."

He glanced at me, a leftover smile still on his face. "Sure," he said, but I had the feeling it was more out of obligation than delight. The sofa was very small and with five people sitting on it, it was incredibly tight. My leg was touching his and I noticed him inching away subtly.

"How nice of you to join us, Flora," Jake said. I could tell he didn't mind having a pretty girl with them, and in no time I had swallowed two more cups without even knowing how the game worked. They could be setting me up for all I knew. The noise around me spiked and got louder. My eyes widened, and when I moved my head it was in slow motion, like I was playing a movie frame by frame.

What were we even drinking? It was stronger than I expected.

"Hey, are you okay?" Sean asked.

"Yeah. Just a little dizzy."

Whoa. My body was leaden but my head was floating off my shoulders. I leaned against Sean's body and closed my eyes for a second.

"Flora, your turn to drink again," Dylan said.

On hearing my name, my head snapped up like a frightened animal on hearing a gunshot. I reached out for the cup but Sean stopped me by laying a hand on my forearm.

"You've had too much to drink. Take a break."

"Hey, no stopping in the middle of a game," Jake cut in with his signature grin. In my dizziness the grin split his face in two.

"Come on, Flora. Is that all you've got?" Dylan taunted.

"I'm fine, really." I looked at Sean before I reached out for the drink again.

He took it from me. "You're going to get a headache later."

"If you want to drink for her," Dylan said with a smirk, "You have to drink triple."

Sean pressed my forearm down gently. Without a word, he drank up three cups in a row. I watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. His friends cheered.

"We want out for the next round," he told them, then he turned to me and said he was going to get me some water.

"No, that's not necessary."

He ignored my protests and got me water anyway. I was in a daze, still dwelling on the fact that he said we wanted out. So we were a WE! His eyes were on me the whole time I was chugging down water, like he was the prison guard and I was some kind of convict. Sean was usually really polite. I didn't know he could be somewhat dominating and I liked it.

I set down the empty cup. "I'm not drunk. I just need some alcohol in me before I can work up the courage to talk to you."

He laughed a little, surprised. "You need courage to talk to me? What's going on?"

"Can you come with me for a second?"

"Why?"

I rubbed my temples. "Please. You're right. I drank too much and I'm suddenly not feeling very well. I think I want to lie down for a while."

He stood up first then pulled me up. I practically fell into his arms and he had to put one arm around me to steady me (I didn't plan that part, but I wasn't about to complain). I showed him the way to Raymond's room, staggering unattractively against him, and once we were inside I immediately locked the door. I turned to face him, now looking significantly more sober than a minute ago.

Sean stared at me. "Is this a trick?"

I lowered myself down to the single armchair in the room. I crossed my legs, making sure they were positioned at the ideal angle. "Sort of. But I meant no harm."

His eyes clouded over. They were blue, by the way, so it was like staring into a rainy day, the most gorgeous kind. "What do you want?"

I took a deep breath. "Okay. I'm just going to come right out and say it. Sean, I really like you. You know, that kind of like."

He didn't flinch. "You don't even know me that well."

"I know enough to know that I can't stop thinking about you."

He smiled briefly. "Thanks. I'm flattered."

I waited for him to say more but he didn't. "Is that all you're gonna say?"

"Flora, you're very attractive, but I think we're better off as friends."

I could hear an imaginary soft, wet squeak, which was the sound of him squeezing my heart by brutally friendzoning me. I sighed. This wasn't going as well as I had hoped.

"Sean, please take a seat."

There was really nowhere else to sit in the room, so Sean sat down at the foot of the bed. I got up and took the space next to him, wanting to close the distance between us. Our eyes locked. He was so near, so handsome, yet I couldn't believe I wasn't allowed to have him.

"What don't you like about me? If you're going to blow me off, at least tell me why," I blurted out.

He blinked, looking slightly taken aback. I guess normally girls would have run away crying by now instead of pushing him for an answer. He was quiet for a while and finally said, "It just seems like we have very different interests, and I think we won't have anything in common to talk about."

"I'm very versatile," I said. "I'm interested in all sorts of things. No one has ever complained of not knowing what to talk about with me."

"I know you're very easy to talk to. I think the problem is with me."

"I can't wait to find out more about you. Maybe under your mysterious and cool-guy appearance we're actually more alike than you think. Who knows? We might really hit it off!"

Sean chuckled softly. Gosh I loved the sound of his laugh. "You might think I'm mysterious now, but once you know me a little better you'll see there's nothing mysterious about me. I'm going to bore you."

"I don't believe you."

"I have a very routined life, Flora. I'm nerdy and I spend a lot of time studying. Your glamorous lifestyle won't fit with mine."

What did that mean, my glamorous lifestyle? "You mean I'm vain and stupid."

"No....I mean I'm not romantic or exciting. There'll be no surprises and pretty soon you'll want to move on."

I stared at him not believing any of it. Just sitting together in Raymond's room was very romantic and exciting already. I let his words sink in for a while. I was starting to get dizzier by the second, but I managed to read between the lines.

"Is that the real reason? You think I move from one guy to the next."

"Well you are very popular—"

"Oh my god. I get it now." I drew a sharp breath. "You can just say it. You think I'm a slut."

"What?" Sean's eyes widened. "No!"

"Isn't that what you're suggesting?" I said indignantly. What I heard from the bathroom stall came back all of a sudden and slapped me awake. Stupid people always assumed I was easy just because I had lots of guy friends, but I didn't expect Sean to be one of them.

For some reason he found my anger funny and actually smiled. I sat glaring at him.

"Flora, I don't know how your mind works, but you're very funny."

"I'm not trying to be funny! Not that it's relevant, but you're the first boy that makes me...do this." I gestured wildly, meaning that I had to throw myself at him and demand an answer for the rejection. "I don't chase after every good-looking guy in school, you know."

"I know. You don't have to." He turned more solemn. "Seriously I'm very flattered. I think you're brave to speak your mind, and I just want to reassure you once and for all that I don't think you are vain, stupid, or a slut."

"Then why? All your excuses sound very lame to me."

He didn't answer me right away. "Weren't you and Sandra fighting over Daniel Patterson recently?"

I cringed. I just knew that was going to come back and bite me someday. "That's so irrelevant. It's a stupid misunderstanding." I briefly recounted the events of the past week, thinking he might sympathize with me and see how I was pushed into this drama.

He didn't. "So you're saying you'll lead a guy on out of spite even though you're not interested in him at all."

"No!" I denied frantically. He had managed to completely miss the moral of the story. "Well yes, in this case, but this is extreme circumstances. It's different with you."

Sean apparently wasn't deriving much pleasure from hearing this story. "I don't want to be your rebound."

"Are you crazy?" I said in exasperation. "I'm trying to make you see that you're the one I really want and it's like you aren't even listening...." A wave of nausea passed over me and I thought I might puke. This didn't escape his eyes.

"Are you okay?"

"Not really." I stood up shakily, tired and upset, suddenly impatient of waiting for an answer. "I'm going home. Consider yourself off the hook."

"How are you going to get home? You're in no condition to drive."

"I have enough sense not to drive, thank you. I'm going to walk," I replied haughtily.

"You're going to walk," Sean repeated. "In your heels. At midnight."

"Yes. And it's none of your business."

I walked out of the room—or should I say, tried to. The stupid door was locked and I kept turning the lock in the wrong direction, until Sean reached over to open it for me.

I glanced at him. He was trying not to smile.

I hurried past him in embarrassment and found Raymond. I slammed the keys down on the counter next to him.

"No luck?"

Like he had to ask. One look at my face and he knew the answer. I said goodbye and made my legs carry me to the front door, and when I turned around who did I see but Sean beside me. I scowled at him.

"I'll walk home with you."

I shrugged. "If it pleases you." Secretly I was glad because although my house was only ten minutes away, midnight was not my favorite time to carry out this walk.

Once the chilly night air hit my face I felt a little better. We walked in silence. I didn't really want to talk to Sean anymore, since I was probably only going to get myself insulted. Maybe he felt awkward too and he didn't try to start up a conversation either. His hands were in his pockets and he was staring far ahead, looking aloof.

I thought it was kind of nice, however. At least he was keeping me company.

Half way into the distance, I felt nauseous again. "Promise not to tell anyone if I puke on the way home. And don't even think about taking pictures."

"I promise."

"I bet you'll tell all your friends how I humiliated myself telling you I like you."

"I won't," he said firmly. "I won't tell anyone."

I should have listened to Sandra. Now that I came to my senses, confronting him wasn't such a hot idea. "I really shouldn't have done that. I'm so embarrassed. How am I ever going to face you in school again?" I said out loud although I really should just keep my mouth shut.

"We'll just pretend nothing happened." I could tell he was trying not to laugh. "I won't hold you responsible for the things you say when you're drunk."

"Except I meant what I said. I really like you a lot—" I stopped in my track. "Ugh! I wish I could stop my blabbering. This always happens to me when I drink!"

"I admire you for being so out-spoken. I don't think I've ever met any girl as unpretentious as you are."

"That's meant as a compliment right?"

"Of course." His lips curled up in amusement.

"Let me get this straight. So even though you think I'm a scheming and manipulative person for leading Daniel on, you're still willing to think I'm the most unpretentious girl you've ever met."

"I'd rather believe that episode was under extreme circumstances like you said. You're naturally a nice girl who unfortunately got pushed over the edge."

"Yes. That's what I believe too."

We both laughed. My house came into view just as things were moving along the right direction. It was actually a very nice apartment with a doorman and an elevator, and apparently Sean didn't know how well-off my family was.

"You live here?"

"Yes..." I stopped at the entrance. "But you can still kiss me. The doorman won't tell my parents," I joked, but still, in my wildest dream he would do just that.

He laughed. "Maybe next time when you're less drunk."

"Is that a promise?" Not wanting to hear his answer, I rushed on and said, "Thanks for walking me home. That's really nice of you."

He smiled. Gosh he was even cuter through beer goggles! "No problem."

"Good night, Sean."

"Good night, Flora. Sleep tight."

I walked in as the doorman opened the door for me. I sighed. I loved good nights. Good nights were intimate, and even though it'd be weird if Sean didn't say it, I still liked hearing it from him.

It could very well be wishful thinking, but the smile he gave me at the end was warm. Maybe he was just the tiniest bit interested in me? I was too tired to analyze his every sentence and decided to go straight to bed and worry about it the next morning, and of course I would tell all my friends and ask what they thought.

***