Jungkook's POV

I checked my phone to see if there were any calls or messages from Mia.

After Sunday, I left her place with a heavy feeling in my heart. I spent the rest of my evening with my family, mostly Nana and Mom. Mom called me as I didn't spend much time with them.

The whole time I was thinking about Mia. I was there, my body was there but my mind somewhere else. I saw Mom and Nana sharing a worried look.

I couldn't help but worry about her, the whole night I was taking care of her. She had a fever so I put a wet towel on her forehead trying to take her fever down. I didn't sleep neither did she. She tried to but tiredness got best of her. Something is wrong, she wouldn't tell me.

She kept fighting her sleep but fever made her body exhausted. She ended up waking up covered with cold sweat screaming and thrashing. Every time I calmed her down it hurt me physically seeing her like that.

She looked so broken, so much in pain. I felt helpless. I couldn't do anything to ease her pain. I just wanted to take all her pain.

When I found her standing there near the table where I left her. My whole body was shivering in fear looking at her. She was unresponsive and not aware of her surroundings. The flinching, the nightmares, all the signs were there but I refused to believe it.

The coursing anger in my body wanting to kill the person with my bare hands, torturing him for putting her through so much pain. I wanted her to tell me, I don't know if I could handle it when she told me.

The kiss she gave me when I was leaving felt so wrong, it felt like I was not the one leaving. I felt fear, I was scared of losing her. Scared she is going to push me away so I tightened my grip on her. She poured all the emotions in the kiss, telling me things she couldn't say out loud.

I took it all and responded with the same intensity. I still had hope, I still called her later in hopes she would call me back. I keep giving myself excuses. She is not well deep down. I know I am just avoiding the truth.

Monday: She didn't show up at college the next day, Yoongi came up to me telling me that I don't need to worry about cooking meals for her, in general not to go to her place. He finished with his match so he is free. He said she is fine, just a cold not wanting me to visit so I could not get sick. I just smiled at him as I know he is bullshitting me. I know Mia told him to tell this things without giving us a reason to meet. It's not like it's my responsibility to cook her meals never was, this is something I love to do for her and have one more reason to be with her. The content look and smile she has on her face when she eats the meal I cooked just makes me feel warm. I feel assured that at least she is eating something, it feels I have to do that. Spending time at her has become so natural to me. It's hard without her. Doing silliest things, laughing, teasing I miss all that. I miss her.

Tuesday : I attended college doing everything as I usually do, you can easily tell how I am not being myself. I asked Yoongi how she is everytime his answer was that she is fine. If she is why the hell she is not here then why isn't she responding to any of my messages. I wanted to call him out but I didn't. The day was normal, just empty without Mia. I snapped at the fresher who accidentally bumped into me then I remember letting my anger on others won't help me and Mia won't like it knowing I am being rude again.

Wednesday : I spend most of my time again thinking about her, what is she doing?Is she fine? Did she eat? I scrolled through my phone looking at the pictures we took together, her pictures I took without her knowing. Moping around the house depressed, drinking my pain away. This feels worse than a breakup.Jimin and Hobi looked worried as days went. Jimin asked if everything was okay if I was fine. I didn't answer him, I, myself didn't know the answer. I tap open the message seeing she hasn't read any of the messages I send her. My fingers conjured over the keyboard typing out how my day was. This has become a routine, telling her everything and asking how she is feeling. I waited and waited again for to call me message she didn't. I kept thinking if she is having a nightmare again how alone she must be, I felt so broken that I am not beside her how scared she will be because of the nightmare.

I slept alone again without her, I wanted her small warm body tucked against me. I wanted to hold her, kiss her, see her smile, her snide remarks. I wanted to hear all those but I slept feeling empty without her. Why can't she just love me? She does but she can't? All I want is for her to love me back. All I want her is to let me in.

Thursday : Leah told me she is going to meet Mia today. I begged her to tell me how she really is. Yoongi wouldn't tell me a thing aside from all that she is fine that didn't keep me from asking. I still asked him, I don't care what he thinks of me, I don't care if he pitied me. Even its false information, I still want to her about her. Apparently she talked with everyone, they knew about how she is apart from me.

Leah called me after meeting with her, she is not at all fine. Leah asked me if something happened between us. Mia didn't tell anyone what happened I assumed. She didn't inform them so I didn't tell them anything either. Leah told me not to worry, pissing me off. This is the only thing all of them have been telling me. I want to tell them exactly what's going on with her, but I don't want to break her trust. I need to confirm things first, I need to know whether my assumptions are correct or not.

I asked if she asked anything about me, Leah sighed not even once she Brought any topic related to me she avoided any question that involved me. That hurt me like a bitch, Leah said give her some space she will come around. Telling me how many times she has done this before, it was pure torture hearing about all the things who she went on a date what happened next.

I listened, I wanted to know everything. Talking about her is the only thing I could do now.

Friday : I had enough, I wanted to confront her. I wanted to talk and help her. I went to her house after college, and she opened the door. I remembered the first time I came to her place to apologise. Same cold look, she looked so weak her collarbone looked so bony. She lost so much weight, dark circles under her eyes. She looked like a ghost, she was not taking care of herself. She is not eating or sleeping well. I instinctively reached for her but stopped myself.

I wanted to hug her, telling her she is safe with me. She looked distant, giving me short cold answers. My frustrating build every second she seemed stressed too. When she said I was just a part of her game, she won. I believed her every word she said. I believed her.

I deserved it. Karma is a bitch it all came back biting my ass. What I did with all the girls, how I toyed with them not caring. I deserved it, my heart pumped painfully. Never in my life I thought I would be chasing a girl. Pleading her to love me back, she is doing everything to keep me away.

I don't blame her, no one would want to be with a person like me. She is pushing me away. I know her words hurt so I asked her what happened. She stilled and panicked, taking her in my arms. I mumbled, ''It's okay feeling guilty I triggered her panic attack.

One thing I was sure I was right, I wanted to kill the son of a bitch who made her like this. I could easily find what happened, the hall where the Dance took place had cameras. It won't be hard to check it out. I could ask my Men's to look for the guy,I didn't . I respected her privacy, I did that because I wanted her to tell me herself. I don't want to violate anything, I want her to be comfortable and trust me with the truth which I couldn't be able to handle.

Saturday : A whole week. Not just a week a torturous week. Jimin was picking Mia for college, I gave him the bag of breakfast knowing well she didn't eat. I couldn't help yesterday when I saw her, it pained me seeing her without the usual gleam in her eyes.

Our eyes met her eyes and didn't have the usual spark in her eyes. She looked so lost. I kept staring at her as Jimin and her talked.

We talked because it would be awkward to completely ignore me in front of our friends. I was happy that she acknowledged my presence even though it was in front of our friends. Putting a front she has her walls up so high. I was fuming when she asked Daniel in front of me.

Daniel I don't hate him, I just don't like the way he looks at her. His eyes all sparkly face lighting up in her presence. It irks me. He looked happy at the same time sad when she asked. He took a glance at me and I kept my face blank without showing any expression.

He is nice, kind, all the qualities he has are not in me. A man every woman deserves. I am worried she will see this and leave me knowing I don't deserve her.

Sunday : I kept wondering how their date went, did he confess, did she say yes. I couldn't help but think how good they would look. He could make her happy. I let the liquor burn my throat. It didn't ease the burn my heart felt. The burn in my throat doesn't compare the pain I felt in my chest. Everything hurts.

Monday: Cafeteria was chaotic,only to be silent at the scene in front of me. Sarah started again. She has been advancing at me, I avoided and ignored her not wanting to deal with an extra headache.

I calmly looked as she kept provoking Mia. She could handle her. I don't need to worry. Jimin was enjoying it seeing Sarah fume, Yoongi was smirking, they all knew she could handle her very well. I was up on my seat the second Sarah slapped her, throwing the juice over her top.

Mia was caressing her jaw, touching her lips where blood dripped from the cut. She looked dangerous, her eyes screamed danger. Next thing I knew she punched Sarah hard, twisting her arm behind her back slamming her head on the table. Everyone gasped. I was staring at her in awe. I moved quickly to her, prying her away from Sarah.

I don't care if she is angry at me but I didn't want her to get in trouble. Leah gave her a t-shirt to change while we waited outside the washroom. When she came out my eyes snapped to her neck and my face was stone cold. There were marks like someone tried to strangle her, nail marks as if dug harshly and painfully.

I was fuming and couldn't think straight. I just yelled at her. Daniel knew I didn't. It seemed unfair. The frustration of the whole week hit me like a motherfucking truck.

This time I was the one who pushed her from me. I felt like an Asshole, it is not about me. It is hard for her to talk but hearing them asking her if it happened again. I wanted to punch something.

When she snapped for the second time today I knew I fucked up. I fucked a big time. I was going to tell her to do whatever the fuck she wants but I didn't keeping my anger to myself.

She left me as I stood in anger, guilt and pain. What felt like a third time today she snapped again as we gathered at her place. I couldn't look at her, I didn't meet her eyes.

My body shakes in anger. He touched her. I was ashamed of the way I behaved with her. She was letting it out as I just listened to her not paying attention to anyone but her.

She fell unconscious in Yoongi's arms who had tears streaming down his face.

We all were, we were feeling so helpless. All I wanted to find Nathan and torture him until I feel better.

One thing was sure he was going to pay for the pain he put her through. I am going to make sure he will.