I started my therapy again.

And I hate it, these days I am saying it a lot, hating things.

It's been so many years since the last time I came here, I kept eyeing the door ready to bolt out from this place. I feel my therapist studying every movement makes me uncomfortable.

Dr. Zarin she is evil and cruel, she is so good in whatever she does it scares me. Unknowingly sometimes forcing me to talk one way or another I end up telling her everything.

She is so skilled it's scary, the tricks for making me confess what a manipulative woman she is.

Dr. Zarin was shocked when I entered, this time she asked Jungkook to lock the door from outside which wouldn't give me a chance to run away again. She learned from last time not taking any chances. She won't force you to talk but I have reached a certain peak, no more risks now. This situation is already bad.

Yesterday Jungkook found me hiding in the closet crying and mumbling for help. I don't even know how I ended up there, I just remember how my body felt, the pain, the numbness.

Jungkook tried to get me out of the closet but I didn't so he sat outside keeping me company. My hands covered my ears from all the noises and words ringing from the nightmares, but Jungkook's smooth sweet and soothing voice calmed me down. As he kept singing as I relaxed, he embraced me so tightly kissing me forehead when I came out of the closet.

The nightmares keep getting worse, the flashbacks are so realistic I was choking myself in sleep. The fear of seeing Nathan or what he might do.

It was becoming too much as my condition worsened. Jungkook couldn't bear seeing me like this. He told me he would go there with me now he is sitting outside because this needs to be done on my own.So here I am in front of my therapist.

"How are you Mia?". Zarin asked, her composure calm contrast to my tense body.

"I am fine" I muttered, avoiding her gaze.

"I was surprised when I got a call yesterday about restarting your therapy. I almost thought you wouldn't come, I talked with Jungkook and he told me a few things that might help the therapy sessions." She said, I kept eyeing the door, never meeting her gaze once.

"Who is Jungkook to you?". I flinched noticeably, her question caught me off guard. This is the first time someone really asked me this.

If she is trying to make me talk or make me comfortable she knows exactly how to. She is direct, she won't run in circles, the way she handles everything makes me wonder how women have some superpowers. I looked directly in her eyes, answering her question.

"Jungkook". I said, his name leaving a sweet flavour in my mouth. "He is someone I love".

She raised her brows not expecting me to talk about him, moreover confess something like that. How long would I keep denying, I love him. I keep pushing him but I still love him. I still want him.

"Love?". Zarin hummed, looking at my face then turning her gaze to my fidgeting fingers.

"Tell me more about him".

I bit my lips, what should I tell her. He is someone I would like to quote 'Loving him, hating him, wanting him.

I am stuck with him, nevertheless.'

"Jungkook is not a man of Many words but what he does even little things is enough for me to fall for him more. He takes care of me more than he ever did for himself. I just want to adore him give him all the love he deserves. I want to treat him with equal respect and love. I thought many times that what we have is moving very fast, You know I used to hate his guts look at me now simping over him ".

"Jungkook is very passionate about everything he does, once he has his goal set he just achieves it. Strangely, the more I want to talk about him the more I don't to how to talk. I could go on and on about him."I stopped talking, taking a deep breath.

I won't tell her how cute Jungkook looks when he sleeps, the childlike pout his lips parted making him more adorable. The way he is gives his attention looking all concentrated. The frown between his eyes when something bothers him. His bunny smile and full blown smile when he talks about something passionately. The dimple that makes its appearance complimenting his features more which has me swooning there and there wanting me to kiss the hell out of him.

There are many things I won't tell her. It seems rather I don't know how to put it.

"Okay." As if she could read my mind, Zarin said and paused to look at her writing pad.

"How did you feel when Jungkook knew about Nathan and you?". I froze till now I didn't notice my body was leaned and the tension loosened but now.

"I—

I couldn't speak, she waited patiently as I collected myself.

You can do this.

"I thought I was ready to tell him myself, but when the time came I couldn't. I felt ashamed and disgusted with myself and assumed he would be too. I was relieved he knew but I". I took a deep breath and Zarin gave me a glass of water.

"I didn't want him to look at me or think of me any differently."

Dr. Zarin nodded her head understandingly. This woman is just not once I saw any emotion broken on her face. Her face is neutral, sometimes when I talk to people they have all sort of opinions and emotions running on their face making me uncomfortable.

Sometimes they even succeed in making me believe whatever happened was my fault.

"Let's not overdo, it's your first day so let's end here". Dr. Zarin said and my body visibly relaxed, for now this much is okay.

I can't do it in one day it will take time. For that I need to be comfortable enough to break myself on my own so I can mold all the things together and be proud of it. Proud and grateful to stand where I am today.

Healing takes time. Sometimes we have to leave it up to time. Just going with a flow is okay too.

...........

Two goons were waving at us crazily"Here! ".

Everyone in the arcade turned to them giving them a weird look, I hid behind Jungkook who towered me." These idiots doing? " I hissed, I am not embarrassed trust me much worse has happened whenever we meet.

Ok, I am lying, maybe I am a little embarrassed. I don't like being the centre of attention with them, it doesn't seem like I could escape attention.

Jungkook chuckled, taking my hand in his, we neared them.

"Are you excited for today?" Hobi asked, his body already full of jitters, his body radiating the energy making us more excited.

I nodded my head watching the three of them talk, catching up on the gossip they missed. Rolling my eyes at them I looked around the arcade.

This place was buzzing with a cheerful and youthful vibe. This made me a little nervous and elated. It's been a long time since I was in a crowd.

"Did you have fun on your so-called date with Jimin?" Hoseok raised his brows, Jimin beside him muffling his laugh.

I heard a scoff beside me"A little too much if you ask me". Still salty I see. Let's rub it more then.

Mustering my best sweetest honey dripping smile, my eyes for sure twinkling "Yes very much. You know I meet a very h—

Jungkook held me in a chokehold rubbing his knuckles on my head. I protested trying to break from his hold as he messed up my hair and his knuckles hurt. He used too much force.

Jimin finally burst out laughing, slapping Hobi in the back who looked confused. Jimin quickly reached out his phone showing Hoseok something which I am sure is the photograph he sent Jungkook the other day.

Now I remember, he is going to die. I was going to kill him.

I scowled at Jungkook for not letting me go, seeing my face only boasting about his actions. Amusement dancing in his eyes, he repeatedly kissed my cheek making me go red in anger and shyness.

Finally releasing me,a smirk formed on my face. I definitely looked psychotic. I snarled at Jimin.

He looked scared to death, his face paled. He pleaded Jungkook with his eyes, raising his hands up in surrender.

Ha! Does he think someone is going to save his ass?

I practically jumped on his back and he staggered, losing his balance almost taking us down. I clinged to him not wanting to fall. "You snitch! How could you do this to me? I thought I could trust you. You, you traitor."

Any one looking at us would think we are crazy. I was yelling into Jimin's ears pulling his precious hair which he cared for, he took hours to style it. Nothing is more satisfying than having Jimin at your mercy.

"Get down, I am sorry!" Jimin pleaded, trying to free his hair from my aggressive grip.He looked traumatized.

Succeeding I slowly got down, not before whacking hard on his head. I should have done worse until he apologizes but no today I am in a good mood.

Casually, like nothing happened I stood beside Jungkook. Jungkook looked proud, pulling me into him.

"By the way, where are Yoongi and Leah?"

"Leah said she is going to the washroom and Yoongi too." Jimin answered almost dazed, realization downed him as he said.

I raised my eyebrows"Oh".

"Oh".

Jungkook shook his head "Don't even think about that, leave them alone".

He must have seen the look on our faces that we are planning to do something.

"You are just trying to cut yourself a ticket, so that won't happen to you". Hoseok patted his shoulder "So shut up".

I snorted at this. So true he is cutting himself a slack just so next time that won't come and bite in his ass.

We straightened up immediately, Yoongi and Leah approached us looking at us weirdly. If the smirk Yoongi has on his face didn't give away what happened between this too. The angry red mark on Lee's collarbone and swollen lips definitely gave away.

I grinned at Lee for the first time in her lifetime, blushed. My eyes and smile widened. How cute!

"Are you ready to lose?" Before I could say something to embarrass her Jungkook jumped in between us wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"Tsk Lose? Baby you are going to lose, and the winner will get what they want." I chastise.''And the loser is going to pay for food and desserts".

Nah nah if he thinks he will win he is wrong because I won't let him.

I am going to win.