I tentatively knocked on Blake's door with shaky hands. The sterile white corridors of the mental health department were making me feel on edge. I exhaled a quavering breath, which shook due to my nerves. I hadn't seen Blake for almost six weeks and I wasn't expecting to feel this nervous. We haven't spoken face to face since we both bared our souls and told each other that we loved each other. After we sat in the rain hugging on the bench under the pagoda for almost ten minutes Blake's nurse had found us and pretty much dragged Blake back up to his hospital room.

I left him with his parents and that evening Blake went into a mental health rehabilitation program that went for twelve weeks. I have been allowed to see Blake for a few hours for the first time in way too long. Blake and I have been texting and calling but it's not the same as seeing each other in person. And I didn't know how we were going to be with each other when all we used to do before was argue, it was going to be a whole different dynamic. There was also a part of me that was terrified that Blake was going to push me away again.

The white door swung open with a creek and there he was, standing there calmly with a smile on his features that was almost a smirk, standing in all his glory. My heart skipped a beat when I saw his face, with his dark scruffy hair still sticking at all angles around his head and high cheekbones on his slightly chubby cheeks and lanky limbs.

My chest burst in happiness at seeing him and without thinking I flung myself into his arms. His body jolted as my momentum struck his body but he quickly stabilised us by placing his hands around my waist. He squeezed me tightly into him and placed his mouth into my neck. We stayed there for a few moments and for the first time in six weeks it felt like I could breathe again.

"Well it's nice to see you too," Blake spoke with a chuckle in his voice.

I cupped his face in my hands and stared into his eyes. I noticed that the usual dark circles that hung around his eyes had faded and his skin has regained some colour into his cheeks, he looked well.

"You look good," I commented releasing his beautiful face from my hold and smiled up at him widely, unable to contain how happy this made me. Blake grinned back at me and his smile knocked the breath out of me, it was so rare.

"I know, my elderly nurse has been saying that to me as well, I know how to charm all the ladies," Blake joked, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

I rolled my eyes but couldn't help the smile that fell onto my lips due to his joking mood. I don't know what I was expecting when I saw him but I was worried that he would be depressed and not wanting to see me or talk to me.

"How are you?" I asked tentatively, apprehensive to bring up the elephant in the room, the reason why he was here in the first place.

"Better now you are here." Blake wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into his chest. My breath hitched, from him being so close and so affectionate with me, I wasn't used to it. "I haven't seen such a pretty sight in six weeks."

My cheeks reddened at his words but I scoffed them off, refusing to allow him to see just how happy they made me.

"Wow, I'm shocked, I have never seen you try to be charming before," I teased pushing him away from me so he stepped back into the doorway.

"You are going to be astounded by just how charming I can be." He grabbed my hand and kissed my palm.

"I'll believe it when I see it." I crossed my hands over my chest but internally my heart was stuttering.

"Well Miss Rose, would you like to go on a lovely walk around the hospital gardens with me?" Blake asks gesturing his elbow out.

I slipped my elbow through his, grinning up at him. "I'd love too, Mr Charmer."

We were silent as we made our way through the hospital and outside into the shining sun of the gardens.

When we walked into the quiet privacy of the lake Blake released my elbow and slipped his hand down to take my hand in his. He laced our fingers together and a wave of warmth rushed through me. I glanced up at him to see he was already smiling down at me, I shyly smiled back and averted my eyes.

"Don't get all shy on me now," Blake commented. My blood flushed, embarrassed.

"I don't know what you are talking about, shy? Me? Never, I am like a talking machine, I can talk to infinity and beyond," I babbled, my natural response to stress. Blake just laughed.

"How you come up with such word vomit I will never know." There was a softness in his eyes when he looked down to me, I think he found my work vomit endearing.

"It's an art," I smiled up at him, warmed by his response to my weirdness.

Blake shook his head at me but there was a smile on his lips. I was brought out of staring at Blake's lips when a motorbike zoomed past the hospital gardens, making me jump and squeeze Blake's hand tighter.

"I never asked, why did you steal that motorbike?" I wondered, looking up at him having to tilt my head up to do so. I never realised how much taller than me he was. He glanced to me and stared into my eyes for a long moment, I could see his eyes calculating and the worry lines on his forehead.

"Can you keep a secret?" He whispered forebodingly. My stomach jumped with the excitement of learning a secret of Blake's, something deep and meaningful to him.

"You can trust me, Blake," I reassured squeezing his hand. We walked over a small wooden bridge that constructed to connect the walkways over the lake. The other side of the lake was filled with beautifully sculptured trees and topiary, it was much quieter here. We were completely alone, completely able to tell each other deep secrets.

"Okay, well Jason the guy that I bullied and he ended his life because of it. After I tried killing myself the first time his parents came to visit me. They told me that I shouldn't blame myself for Jason's death because he was depressed before all this. They showed me his suicide note so I knew the reason for his death was not me. I just pushed him over the edge. On his suicide note he said that he couldn't live with himself anymore because he is the reason someone is dead and the reason why so many lives were ruined. And that he failed the girl that he loved and he will never be able to tell her how sorry he was," Blake explained bitterly, running a hand through his black hair in agitation.

He was struggling to explain this to me. I was looking up at him in empathy as we walked but he wasn't looking at me, avoiding my eyes. "So, this is what you have been up to this whole time," I realised and Blake nodded in confirmation.

"I couldn't try to end my life again until I had learned what he meant, I felt responsible because Jason couldn't apologise to this person because of me, I felt responsible for it like I had to do this for him before I went too," Blake recounted, his lips were pressed together and his eyebrows knitted, like this thought brought him a lot of distress.

I only realised then that Blake has been through such dark things. All of this weight on him bearing him down, guilt for what he did and this drive that he felt like he needed to make up for it by writing Jason's wrongs. By helping Jason's parents at the homeless shelter, it was like Blake felt like he could never make it up to Jason for what he did to him, for bullying him. A shot of grief washed through me making me reach out to Blake, he still wasn't looking at me.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him to me. He let me hug him for a moment before he sat down on a bench. He pulled me into him, wrapping his arms around my waist. I curled my hands around his neck and stared deeply into his blue eyes, which was easy at such a close distance, our faces were at the same level now.

"I started investigating what he meant to find he recently moved away from here in Ellisdale. It was my idea to move here with your mother and you so I could learn more about him. You might know him, his name was Jason Theodore," Blake revealed. My mouth dropped open in shock at the name, I knew a Jason Theodore, he used to hang out with my friend group when I was friends with Sarah. But after a moment my mouth shut and saddened into a frown as I realised what this meant, my old friend was dead.

"He used to go to our school, Lisa and I used to be friends with him," I say dumbfounded. Blake nodded sombrely; he knew this as well. There was a sadness in his eyes as he looked at me, a vulnerability. I realised what it was instantly, Blake was worried that I would blame him for my friend's death, just like he blamed himself. I kissed him on the forehead to show him how I didn't blame him at all. The apprehension slipped from his gaze when he saw that I was still looking at him lovingly.

"And he used to be friends with Dean and Liam," Blake added.

"That's why you made friends with them," I surmised, clicking my fingers together as I realised just why Blake was putting himself in such danger. He was doing it to find out all this information about Jason and he was willing to do whatever dangerous task was necessary because Blake didn't care if he died. My heart broke at the thought.

"Yeah," Blake confirmed and pulled me closer into his body. His hips were rested against mine and the heat of his body was streaming into me. It made it hard to concentrate on what he was saying being this close to him.

"They told me that he had been borrowing a motorbike frequently from one of his gang mates from Freddie's, I thought that was suspicious and ended up stealing that bike myself," Blake continued as he held me tightly against him. I shivered as the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. I was glad for his reassuring warm touch because everything he was saying was starting to scare me.

Blake was involved in things so much more dangerous than I originally thought. He had made enemies with a bikie, a druggie and a bikie gang. Now that he didn't want to kill himself would he still be in danger? I was overwhelmed with a burst of heat, of fear that sprung through my body for Blake.

"I examined it and found a sample of blood on there. That is why I broke into the hospital to have it examined to determine who's blood it was but I was caught by the security guard who called the police, they thought I was stealing drugs." Blake shrugged like this was a minor deterrence.

I closed my eyes and breathed out deeply at this revelation. This was something that was always in the back of my mind that I worried about Blake. I worried, could he actually be such a bad person to steal drugs from a hospital? But now I know, he wasn't and this could ruin his life.

"But Blake you have to tell the police the truth or else you might go to prison, you still have your court date soon," I fretted, lacing my hands into the back of his hair to curb my anxiety and stop my shaking hands.

"I will, don't worry Rose. I am not involved with any of this anymore," Blake said calmly as he reached his hand up and ran his warm touch over my shaking hands that was wound into his hair. His touch calmed me and I looked into his eyes which were already searching mine. They were filled with such certainty and tranquillity that I felt comforted by just looking into them.

"So, what happened next?" I questioned, knowing there was more to this story. His gaze returned to mine before continuing.

"I managed to get the scan of the blood sample back but it was inconclusive." Blake pulled out his phone and showed me a picture of a baby along with details of her parentage and birth, this must be on a police database, how he got access to this I will never know. "The results said the blood was from a baby who died when she two years old, 17 years ago. So that blood sample was just a waste of time," Blake exasperated breathing out deeply, frustrated at this dead end in his mystery.

I felt his breath fan my face we were so close. I shivered and the enjoyed the bliss of being this close to him so casually. It was hard to concentrate on his words when we were this close but I snapped myself back into reality, this was my time to ask him all my burning questions about his strange behaviour in the past.

"I saw you that night at Freddie's trying to get information from that druggie guy Cameron, why?" I stated, tilting my head to the side as I looked at him, interested to find out just what exactly he was doing that night.

"Jason used to hang out at Freddie's a lot and used to buy drugs from Cameron and re-sell them, I tried to learn more information from Cameron. I wore that hoodie so he wouldn't recognise me and he wasn't talking so that's why I threatened him, he was a piece of filth anyway." Blake's upper lip curled in disgust and I understood his reaction, this Cameron guy was dodgy.

"Why did you buy drugs off him?" I queried, raising my eyebrows, hoping with everything that Blake wasn't into drugs himself. I had never seen Blake take recreational drugs.

"I was gaining evidence on him, evidence that showed he was selling drugs so I could put an end to the trade that ruined Jason's life, to stop something that Jason wanted finished but he was no longer able to." I breathed out a sigh of relief and allowed my head to drop into his neck. Being this close to his neck reminded me of when he carried me away from the hones shelter after we were attacked.

"Why did those bikies attack you that night at the homeless shelter?" I asked, lifting my head up again so I could see his face. His eyes turned cold and his jaw clamped together as he remembered me being hurt.

"They figured out that I stoke their bike and were going to ambush me outside the building. I figured Cameron told them about me, he became suspicious of me ever since the night at Sarah's party. He was the only reason I went that night actually, he told me that he was going there that night to sell drugs but then he ended up attacking you and I couldn't hold back. I nearly killed him for hurting you, I wanted to," Blake seethed incensed, his teeth were grinding together and his jaw was locked in fury.

I reached my hand up and ran my fingers over his clenched jaw softly and he closed his eyes at my touch. He stood up suddenly and started walking along the trail through the gardens again. The warmth that his body was seeping into mine disappeared and a cold chill ran through me in disappointment. I watched after him in bewilderment wondering what I did to make him move away from me so fast.

Blake looked back to me and gestured for me to come over to him, I jogged to catch up to him and when I did, he clasped our hands together again. Relief washed through me to find I hadn't done anything wrong, there was still anger lines around his eyes and I realised this was how he was dealing with the anger of remembering someone trying to hurt me.

"Why did Cameron want the password to my code studio account?" I wondered; this was something that has been bugging me for a very long time. We began walking through an oasis of roses, all different colours, glimmering in the sunlight.

"I don't know exactly but after you gave me that USB drive, I found out everything. On the drive it had conversations between that account and another user with the name JasonTheodore31. In their conversation it explained that Jason was selling drugs to people at your school and he felt responsible for those who became addicted. Someone he sold drugs to ended up overdosing, that was how he felt like he was the reason someone was dead. I also found out that Jason was using the bikies motorbike when he was selling, to avoid suspicious if someone saw him," Blake revealed staring straight forward into the field of roses.

I was staring up at the sun that was shining overhead emitting a bright glimmering ray onto the lake's surface. It shocked me that there could be such dark and evil things that were happening in a world that created such a beautiful sight.

The girl Jason loved must have been the person with the username Number25 who put up Cameron to trying to get my password for my account. It still didn't make sense to why they needed the password to my account. I was worried because if someone had access to my account, they would be able to use the code I created with my sister to access bank accounts if they wanted to. My sister and I only created the code for a challenge, we were never going to ever actually use it. But if someone else had access they could use it for criminal purposes. Blake brought me out of my fretting as he continued.

"The girl that Jason loved became addicted and he saw how the drugs ruined her life, he couldn't live with himself knowing all the people he sold those drugs too, how he ruined their lives as well. I never found out who the girl he loved was but I sent her a message on her code studio account. I told her everything about Jason and how he was sorry." Blake tilted his head up to look to the sky as if this has taken a huge weight off his shoulders.

"I had solved the mystery and completed my purpose for Jason. So, I was able to end my life after I made sure you didn't need me alive," Blake recounted, turning his gaze to look at me. I was already staring up at him, watching his every change in expression. I pressed my lips together to stop myself from showing the rush of pain that it always caused me when Blake spoke so casually about how he wanted to die. Blake must have seen the pain in my eyes because he squeezed my hand.

"So that's everything," Blake finished, shrugging.

I realised that Blake was just actually the good guy trying to honour the boy that Blake believed was dead because of him. He just did this in the most dangerous way possible because he didn't care about his life, he knew he was going to die anyway at the end of it all.

I felt like I understood Blake so much more now, I understood everything and I loved him all the more for it. I stepped into Blake stopping him in his tracks and he fell back until his hips rested on the wooden bridges railing that we were walking over. I wrapped my arms around his neck and stared deeply into his blue eyes, those eyes that I have seen filled with so much pain over this journey he went through.

"I will always need you alive and I think everything you did for Jason was honourable. I think he would be glad that you were able to right his wrongs," I breathed tiling my lips closer to his. Blake's expression faltered and I was able to see the burn there that has haunted him ever since Jason died. The agony that compelled him to do whatever he could to honour Jason's memory.

Blake must have seen something in my expression because his hands lifted to my cheeks and he pulled my face to his. He kissed me with so much love and that I felt the liberation he felt from being able to tell someone his story. And have that person accept him and love him even despite his past mistakes.

***

Hello my lovely readers :) I hope you are all are safe and okay during this crazy time x

I am back, woo! I am so sorry for not updating for so long, 3 months, I'm terrible. This chapter was so daunting and I was dreading writing it but after 3 months I got there.

As most of my regular readers know I can't write a book without some sort of mystery in there, we will get into this more in the next few chapters.

Please let me know what you all think of the chapter, I love love love hearing your thoughts.

Much love, Elaine Xx