Driving back home from dropping Veronica off I can't stop thinking about her. There's something about Veronica that made me want to get to know her. Maybe it's the fact that she keeps to herself or how she doesn't care what anyone has to say about her. She stays true to herself and I admire that.

But Veronica isn't the only person I'm thinking about.

If Marisela met Veronica she would be proud of me for getting to know her. She would probably say something along the lines of "Keep her M, you don't meet girls like that everyday."

God everyday that passes I miss her more and more.

I sighed while pulling into my driveway, turning off the truck and just stared at the garage door in front of me. I loved being home with Mom, Dad and Mariana but without Marisela it wasn't the same. Ever since the accident, I can't feel anything but guilt. I feel like the cause of her death was because of me. I couldn't do my job as her brother to protect her.

Mom and Dad always tell me that it wasn't my fault what happened to her but I just can't seem to tell myself that. Her death affected me immensely. She was my best friend, I could tell her anything. Although Alejandro and Adam are my best friends, they knew not to push me to talk about the death of my sister.

Running a hand over my face I open the door to my truck and get out. I lock the truck until I hear the alarm go off at least three times and unlock the front door. The living area is dark which means my parents must be asleep already. I head up the stairs and once I'm at the top I look down knowing if I look at her door I'll stop. But my feet betray me and stop.

And I do the last thing I want to do. Look up.

I haven't set foot in her room since that day. It's crazy to think that just that morning we were talking about going to take some pictures of Mariana.

I'm about to turn away until I hear a small voice.

"Mateo?," I look around the hallway and see no one. Until I look down and see my little sister standing there in her pajamas with a teddy bear in her hands. My eyes soften at the sight.

"Mari. What are you doing up it's late already," walking towards her and picking her up.

"I heard your truck and I wanted to show you the shoes Mommy got me!," I smile at her excitement.

"Well how about you show me tomorrow okay? Right now you need to sleep because princesses need their beauty sleep," I tickle her sides and she giggles.

It only takes a couple steps to get to her room. Mom and Dad had us all sleep next door to each other while they slept in a room downstairs. They raised us to be close to one another and I appreciate them for that.

I opened the door to her light pink room and set her down on the bed. Tucking her in she makes sure her teddy is right next to her. Marisela gifted her the bear on her second birthday and she has taken it everywhere with her since.

"Can you take pictures of me in my new shoes tomorrow? I really like them. Please Mateo pretty please," she tells me as I sit down next to her and put my arm around her shoulders.

"Yes but only if you go to sleep okay? You won't be able to stay awake when I take the pictures," she quickly nods her head and closes her eyes.

I smile down at her and wait a couple minutes until I know she's actually asleep.

"Goodnight Mariana," I whisper and kiss her forehead.

Stepping out of the room quietly and closing the door behind me I finally made it to my room. I ran a hand through my hair and started taking off my shirt. Grabbing the sweats I left on my bed this morning, I unbutton my jeans and change into my sweats. I don't bother putting a shirt on since it's more comfortable to sleep like this.

I lay down on the bed and look at the ceiling. Why did that accident have to happen? If she was still here I would probably have more friends than I do now. The only time I feel connected to her is when I'm holding a camera. She taught me everything I know about photography. How to hold a camera, how to focus it, how to edit a picture. It was our thing.

On Sunday's we would always wake up at six in the morning, get in the car, and drive to a field to take pictures. Our field. I haven't taken anyone there. Not Alejandro or Adam, nobody should be able to take her spot. It's still her spot.

I turn over to look at my night stand and look at the picture frame she gave me on my fifteenth birthday. It's a picture of us that she took when we were at the field. I was wearing a green hoodie, blue jeans, and my black Converse. She was wearing the lavender jacket she always wore, ripped jeans, and white slip on Vans. Her black hair looked straight as ever. She was holding up a peace sign with both her hands and had a huge smile plastered onto her face. While I was just smiling next to her. She was always happy, there was never a day she didn't smile.

Mariana reminds me so much of her. It's like she took after her. She's always smiling and laughing just as Marisela would do. The sad thing is that Marisela isn't going to see her little sister grow up. She isn't going to see me become an adult also.

It's hard without her. It feels like there's a hole in my heart. Mom and Dad seem like they aren't hurting as much anymore but I know they're just being strong for Mariana.

I look away from the photo and look back up at the ceiling. My best friend was taken away from and I don't know why. I didn't think I was capable of meeting anyone new after that.

Then I met Veronica.

For the first time in three years I feel happy again. She makes me feel whole again. No one will ever replace Marisela, but Veronica does something I can't explain. I know I just met her and it sounds weird but it's like she's helping. On the first day of school when I saw her laughing with her friend it's like my heart wanted to jump out of my chest. When we made eye contact that's when I realized I had to get to know her. Maybe I'm coming off too strong or I look desperate but I know Veronica has her troubles too.

She's growing on me, and I hope she feels the same. In someone else's eyes they might believe I'm moving too fast but in my eyes I feel like I'm at the right speed.

The day I walked into Biology late and saw her laughing at something Adam said I couldn't help but get a little jealous. I know I don't have the right, we aren't in a relationship or anything of the sort. But the fact that it wasn't me making her laugh made me upset. The whole time during class I kept my eyes on her. When she turned to look at me I didn't turn away, I kept my eyes locked on her. That's when I decided I was done ignoring her.

I didn't mean to ignore her that week. I just kept thinking about Marisela and I didn't want her to think I was upset. Adam had learned his lesson to not mess with me when I'm like that. Last time he told me I was acting like a bitch he got a busted lip and ever since he knew not to mess with me.

Looking away from the ceiling, I turn to the night stand and reach to turn the lamp off.

I hope Veronica had fun and realizes that if she ever needs someone to talk to or someone to have fun with. I'll be waiting, for her with open arms.

I shut my eyes and fall into a deep sleep I haven't had in what seems like forever.

All because of her.

Veronica.