《Fifty Shades Alternative | ✔》Epilogue

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I walk over to the piano with a glass of red wine in my hand. God I miss playing. I set my glass aside as I wipe of the dust from the piano cover and open it to reveal the untouched keys. Its been a year since I last touched this piano.

I pick up my glass again and swivel the wine inside as I take a huge gulp. Drinking wine won't erase memories. I shake my head in an attempt to free my thoughts and sit on the bench. A number of tunes rush in my mind that I could play for distraction.

I take a deep breath and start with a classic piece as my mind wanders off to a place far away from the reality. I imagine a perfect world, a world where nothing is as fucked up as this world can offer. A place where Ana never left, a place where I have my daughter and my son with me as we play in the backyard of our mansion in the suburbs. A tiny world where everyone is happy.

The bench dips slightly besides me as the person settles down. Her swollen belly almost touches the piano but it doesn't seem to affect her. She silently listens to the piece i'm playing as she waits for me to complete it.

"Haven't heard you play for a long time", she says.

I keep quiet.

"You seem tensed", she starts again as she turns 45 degrees and reaches out in an attempt to massage my shoulders.

"It's nothing, Ana.", I say and take the last sip of the wine.

"Sure", she says sarcastically. "What is it?"

I sigh as I contemplate telling her. "I read the drafts."

"What drafts?", she looks at me quizzically.

"The drafts you wrote when you were carrying Mila."

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She stiffens for a moment but then furrows her brows. "Where did you find those? I thought I deleted them."

"I found those years back. I saw the emails addressed to me so I sent them from your computer to myself a long time back but never read it. Wish I never did."

"Christian whatever it was, it was a long time ago. I don't feel the same way anymore."

"It saddens me that we missed six years of our lives apart. A time when we both needed each other more than ever. A time -", she places a finger over my lips and then replaces her finger with her lips as she kisses me deeply.

"Leave it be, Christian." She then takes my hand and places it over her stomach.

"For the sake of him at least?", she smiles which I cannot help but reciprocate.

I remember the day Ana told me she was pregnant vividly. It was my birthday and I had important meetings to attend which bummed both Ana and Mila out. But when I returned, their enthusiasm was exactly the opposite of what I had expected. Mila had enthusiastically placed a small wrapped box in my hand and encouraged me to open it. Not once did I suspect it would be a pregnancy test. Once I opened it, I felt a flash of the camera and I looked up towards Ana. She had tears in her eyes as she whispered "Happy Birthday." Needless to say, I cried by just looking at her.

"Christian, it's time", Ana says as she brings me back to the reality.

"I know."

The drive to the hospital is eerily silent. Ana is lost in her own thoughts and I am trying to wrap my hand around the idea that my son will be born today. After Ana's near death experience during Mila's birth, we both mutually decided that it was better to opt for elective cesarian. I was very firm with my decision until now that I think we should've waited instead. We fill out the hospital forms and a nurse wheels Ana up to the check up room.

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The procedure went smoothly, nothing that could scare the shit out of both of us. Our son, Ian Philip Grey, was born healthy and Ana and I couldn't be more happier.

"He's perfect", Ana whispered when she saw him for the first time.

"Thank you", I said, teary eyed, as I kissed both my wife and son on their foreheads.

It is my time for chest to chest with my son as Ana is asleep. The nurse helped me adjust Ian on my chest and sat me down in the corner. She leaves quietly as I look at my son carefully for the first time.

"Hey baby", I whisper as softly as possible as to not wake Ana up. I feel our hearts beat in sync, his a bit more faster than mine. "Dada loves you."

I gently rock him and cannot help the grin that spreads over my face as I look at him. No, this definitely wasn't a mistake, he was meant to come today.

A little while later, my bubbly 10 year old daughter bursts through the hospital doors, eager to see her baby brother. Mila looks at him in awe and astonishment. It will take her a while to wrap around her head that she has a sibling now but i'm sure she will be the best sister Ian could've asked for.

Ana's eyes drifts to mine as her mother keeps on talking about the benefits of breast feeding for babies and new mothers. I think she sometimes forgets about the fact that Ana already did it once with Mila. Looking into my wife's eyes, I realise that worrying about past seems so trivial now. Her eyes spoke a million words to me that she doesn't talk about. It in turn makes me calm and puts me out of the misery that I was in earlier this morning. I have a family now to look after and there is definitely no place i'd rather be than here, with them.

"I love you", she mouths.

"I love you more", I smile.

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