"Alana. You need to get out of this bed"

I was under the white comforters that were on my bed, eyes puffy, trying to ignore the rest of the world.I felt a pair of hands grab onto my shoulders, shaking me softly. "Alana. You can't stay here forever"

I groaned, pressing my face against the white fluffy pillow. "Elena. Please leave me alone"

"I'm not going to let my little sister sulk for the rest of her life. It's been a week, Alana. You need to move on" I felt as she sat near the foot of my bed by my legs.

"I need time alone, please. That's all I'm asking, Elena"

"Fine" I felt her stand up. "I'm going to leave you here to sulk in the dark. I'm going to Mom and Dad's"

"Have fun" I mumbled, sticking my hand out of the comforter to reach for my phone on the nightstand. I decided to order some food since I haven't eaten anything yet. After doing this, I put my phone back and just closed my eyes, allowing myself to rest against the fluffy pillows.

Around thirty minutes later, I heard the sound of my doorbell ringing. I got up out of bed, looking like I mess, and walked to the front door, opening it to pay for the food. I looked up at the tall figure standing outside on my porch, holding my food.

We stared at each other until I finally spoke up. "Who gave you the right to come here?"

"Alana" The person I've missed yet despised for the past week motioned the food towards me. I grabbed it, setting it down on the floor.

I looked up at his eyes, they were all red and puffy. "Please answer my question, Shawn. I don't have all day"

"I- I needed to see you"

"And for what reason?" I leaned against the door, the feeling of sadness consuming my insides.

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry, for everything"

"Mmm. Yeah. I don't want to hear it. Which is why, I'm going to close the door now and bring my food to bed with me. Oh" I reached into my pocket. "Here's the money for the food"

I started to close the door but Shawn put his hand out to prevent it from closing. I took a deep breath, tears starting to form in my eyes. "Please. Don't make this any harder than it already is"

"Just let me in"

"Why?" I crossed my arms against my chest. "Why would I do that?"

He brought his right hand through his hair. "Because I hate seeing you like this"

I looked at him, dazed by his answer. "You" I brought my pointer finger to his chest. "Are the reason why I look like this. Why I've spent the past week in bed, feeling the most hurt I've ever felt in my life. You have no right to tell me that you don't like seeing me like this when you are the person who caused it" I took a breath, bringing my hand down. I looked across the street and saw that my neighbor was looking at the whole situation. I grabbed his arm, pulling him in.

"You're letting me in?" He asked surprised.

"Yes. Only because the neighbor across the street was looking at us" I grabbed the paper bag on the floor, bringing it with me to the couch. I took out the contents of the bag. A steak burrito with rice, sour cream, cilantro, salsa, and beans, wrapped in foil. Shawn sat down on the other side of the couch.

I unwrapped the burrito, taking a bite out of it. Shawn spoke up. "You don't understand how sorry I am, Alana"

I sighed, looking over at him. "No matter how many times you say sorry, it doesn't change the fact that you did it" Tears started to fill his eyes. This worried me because I have never seen him this heartbroken before.

"I didn't mean to do it Alana" A single tear fell down his face, emotions started to fill my soul as well.

I took a harsh breath before speaking. "What do you mean? Were you drunk or something? Were you physically and mentally incapable of not kissing her? You looked fine to me in those pictures"

"I can't tell you why I did it and it hurts that I'm not able to tell you, but you need to know that I still love you"

"I don't mean to be ironic, but at this point, those are three empty words, Shawn. I can't trust that what you're saying is true because you won't even tell me why"

His eyes softened as he looked at me, then to the clock on the wall across from us. "You'll find out one day, just. Not yet" He stood up then cleared his throat. "Um. I have a flight that I need to catch. I'll um" He put his hand through his hair. "Feel better, Alana" I watched as he walked out the front door, leaving me to sob into my steak burrito.

It was a couple of hours later and I was back under the comforters on my bed. My earbuds were in my ears as I sobbed to breakup songs.

"ALANA" I heard a yell coming from the living room. I took out the earbuds, placing them on my nightstand as I sat up in the bed, trying to figure out who called my name. Elle opened the door, walking in and sitting at the foot of my bed. She smiled softly to me. "Good to see you 're sitting up. It's improvement"

"Surprisingly, I got out of bed to grab my burrito and guess who was at the door?"

"Who?"

"Shawn Mendes" I nodded my head, staring at the ceiling.

Her eyes widened as she responded. "He came here? What did he want"

"Wanted to apologize and he wouldn't even tell me why he cheated. Said he couldn't"

"Oh that's terrible" She stood up from the bed, coming over to me to give me a hug. "Do you know what would make you feel better?"

"What?" I asked, looking at her. She grabbed both of my shoulders and said, "A girls trip to South California. COACHELLA"

"Oh! It's that time of year again, isn't it?"

"Mhm" She said, excitedly. "We haven't been in forever. Billie Eilish and Ariana Grande are in this year's lineup and I know how much you love them!"

I smiled. "Yes. I do"

"Which is why, need to get up and pack because our flight is in a couple of hours!" She grabbed my arm, pulling me out of bed and leading me into my closet to pack my clothes.

The airplane flight was relatively short since we lived in the northern part of California. We got to out hotel pretty late at around 9 pm, mainly because of all the traffic. We got up to our room, a standard room with two queen beds, and settled into the room. I looked over at Elle who was already in bed as I finished hanging up my last outfit for the weekend. "Hey. I'm going to go see the gym downstairs, probably get a workout in"

"Are you sure? It's already late"

"Yeah. It's much needed. I haven't got exercise in a while"

"Alright" She said as I went to the bathroom to change into some workout clothes. I went down the elevator and past the huge lobby to go into the large gym that was provided by the hotel to the people who stayed there. I went on to the treadmill and began a jog which soon turned into a run. Both earbuds were in my ears as I listened to my workout playlist. It turned from a Queen song into Shawn's song, "There's Nothing Holding Me Back". I looked down at my phone, frowning, then just decided to remove it from the playlist.

I was running for a little bit, not long enough to sweat but long enough to get my heart racing, until I heard the sound of the door opening, signaling that I wasn't alone. I took off an earbud, stopping the treadmill, then turned around to see who entered. "You have got to be kidding me"

Shawn's eyes widened as he placed his water bottle on the ground next to him. "Alana? What are you doing here?"

"I can ask you the same thing" I went off the treadmill, gathering my stuff from the nearby table, and headed towards the door.

"I. Have interviews. For the new album"

"Ahh. A beautiful album. Are you putting "Stuck on You" on it?"

"Yeah. Only because the fans have been asking for it"

I nodded my head. "Cool. I'm here for Coachella. I'm uh. Going to go" I pointed towards the door, my hand on the doorknob.

"Where are you going?" He asked before I could exit.

"Back to my room" I said, walking out the door, closing it on my way out. I was halfway across the lobby, almost to the elevators, but stopped when I heard my name called out.

"Alana! Wait!" Shawn ran up to me.

"What is it, Shawn?" I saw his mouth open as he tried to speak but ended up just leaning in and planted a soft kiss on my lips. I looked at him as he pulled away, sadness in my eyes. They started to water as I thought about kissing him back. But I just couldn't.

My mouth opened, still speechless. "You don't understand how much I've missed that. But" I took a deep breathe. "It just doesn't feel the same anymore"

--------

"Did you really run away to the elevators after you said that?!" Elle looked at me, enlightenment on her face, showing that she was entertained by the whole story. We were both in the bathroom, applying makeup as we got ready for the first day of Coachella.

"Yup. It was embarrassing. I couldn't stand to look at him after he kissed me"

"So you really don't love him anymore?"

"I think I do still love him. The love is there" I put a hand over my heart. "It's just. Kissing him was like kissing a stranger. It felt different"

"Well. At least we know that you're ready to move on"

"Yeah. I guess so" I looked at myself in the mirror. I wore a black, tank-topped body suit under a pair of light blue short shorts and on top of that, a black see-through skirt that acted as a cape so that when I walked, it flowed behind me.

I looked over at Elle who was just about ready to go. "Are you all set?" I asked.

She looked over at me then nodded, grabbing her phone before making our way out of the hotel.

~~~~~~~~~~

OOF. This chapter wasn't the best but it's going to get better, I promise. Or do I? IM JOKING. It will. I honestly miss Alana and Shawn together SO MUCH. But, things are rocky for them right now and we need to give them some time to heal. I NEED MY BABIES TO GET BACK TOGETHER BEFORE I MENTALLY BREAK DOWN.