As I woke this morning my eyes fall on the the figure beside me. And bright smile came to my lips seeing my beautiful wife sleeping peacefully wrapping her arms around me. Her head was on my shoulder. I strokes her cheeks hair for sometime lovingly and she snuggle a bit. until my eyes went to wall clock and I saw it's 8 o'clock. I instantly came back to reality. I have a job and if hana saw me here then she will be angry. I know what had happened last night hana was not going to take all this in positive way. She will blame herself for giving in. Or me for manipulating her. So I couldn't do anything except went out from here before she woke up.

Carefully I took her head from my shoulder and placed it on the pillow and unwrapped her armas around me and sat beside her. Covering her with blankets I went closer to her and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Good morning Jaan" with that I got down and walked out of her room.

After I got ready for office i made my way to the kitchen I saw maid making breakfast for us. I told her to take care of hana and don't leave before I came. drinking only coffee i walked out of the house.

*******

How could I do this.

How I again let him came close to me?

I again fool myself.?

How I let him kissed me.?

How I let him sleep with me.?

Those all questions ranging in my head since I woke up this morning. I was angry at myself. I didn't know how happene all those things. Maan dressed me then he spent with while talking to my baby and then he kissed me -eventhough I kissed him back- and then he slept with me. That all things make me feel like I'm again giving in to his fake love.

No! Im won't give in. I won't make him fool me again. I won't change my decision. I want divorce and that's it.

"But for that.. I have to focus on my decision. Only couple of months I have to bear this torture. This was last time I let you came close to me maan.. I won't give in again" I told myself and walked out of the room since I was hungry.

*******

I was getting ready to visit Kulsum. After few days is Kulsum's wedding so she wanted me meet her before wedding ritual would start.

"Where are you going?" A voice came from doorway. I didn't have to look back to know who he was.

I scoff and continue applying lip gloss on my lips. But did he ever know what's the meaning of no. He came behind me.

"Hanu.. it's 6pm. Where are you going at this time?" He again asked. I glared him through mirror.

"It not your concern" i said wearing my watch and turned to go. But he held my elbow and turned me toward him.

"Yes! It is my concern! I won't let you go alone. So it's better you tell me and I will take you" he demanded making my blood boiled. I jerk his hand away.

"And what made you think you can stop me! Listen rahmaan what had happened last night that doesn't mean I changed my mind or I've forgive you! No! Your still there where your a day ago for me! Nothing" I yelled pushing him and walked out taking my handbag with me.

**********

I ran behind her and stood infront of her.

"Okay! Okay I'm sorry! I shouldn't have talked to you like this. But please Jaan tell me where are you going? I can't let you go alone" I begged infront of her but she just looked away huffing.

"I'm going with Kareem chacha"bwas all she said before heading out of the house. I stood there looking at the door from where she left. I really tried not to be affected by her harsh and rude behaviour saying I deserve it but still I couldn't help the ache I've felt every time she behaved with me like I'm nothing to her.

Today I thought I would take her out for dinner. Cause tomorrow mama baba will come. And hana again will start ignoring me. And I will be busy in my work. I have too much work to do next few days not only for my job but for my own company. I was really thankful to Ali that he successfully managed everything but still as boss I have my own work which he can't do.

Sighing I went to my room and change my clothes. And call Kareem chacha and asked him where they are. He told me that they went to Kulsum. I breath out a sigh of relief. I told him to be with hana untill she came back home and called me if anything needs.

We couldn't go out for dinner but we can dinner in our home with each other.

After sometime a idea popped up in my mind and smiling I went to kitchen. Maid was already there preparing our dinner. I told her that I want to cook and she could help me to make Hana's favourites food.

******

It's 8pm already and Munaf told me she had left from there. Maid already gone and I was alone here. I arrange the table with all her favourite dish and dessert. And with flowers and few candles. Dining table look like exactly for date couple.

"I want to go on a date with you"

I smiled as I remember her words and went to changed my dirty clothes. I'm really hungry after doing all those works.

A few minutes later I heard bell.

With happy and smiley face I opened the door. Hana come inside without glance at me.

"Assalamualaikum" I greeted but got no replied. She just sat on couch closing her eyes. Maybe tired i thought

"Um.. tired?" I asked again no response.

"I heard next week is Kulsum's wedding" I tried to make conversation and sat beside her. She opened her eyes and looked at me. When I was sure she wasn't going to say anything I continue

"Munaf told me that the guy was their cousin.. and he is really nice man.. I'm really happy for Kulsum" I said truthfully.

"So what you think all the man will be like you?" She taunted.

"Not all the man is like you rahmaan or not all the girls got the fate like me" she said bitterly. I can see pain in her eyes.

"Hanu.." I was about to say something but she stood up and about to walked toward her room.

"Hana.. listen.. I made dinner for us.. let's get dinner together" I pleaded softly smiling trying to distract her mind.

"I already ate" she said yanking her hand.

"I know you haven't had your dinner. Munaf told me" I said again holding her.

"Yes but still I don't want to have anything with you! I would love to starve to death than to have dinner with you" saying this she jerk my hand away and walked inside her room.

But I won't let you starve.

I went to dinning table and prepare her plate and took it to her room. Slowly opening the door I stepped inside. She wasn't in room and I could hear shower running. Putting that plate on the coffee table i tore a paper from a note book which was on the table and wrote a letter.

I know you don't want to eat dinner with me. That's why I'm leaving your dinner here. Please don't take your anger on food. Your not alone hanu. Our baby needs to feed.

Love

your maan

I placed it beside tray and walked out of the room. And went to my room. And change my night suite before going to bed. I wasn't hungry anymore. But a restless feeling Crawl in me. I was feeling that my none effort would melt Hana's heart. I know I did wrong and hurt her way too much. But I was trying to win her with all I have and in return I only got hana's bitterness which was increasing day by day. It seems like she is going far from me.

Hugging my pillow I tried to feel hana but no! I wasn't feeling her.

"Maam I want to sleep with you" my eyes shot open as hana's pleading was echoed iny head.

I sat on the bed and remember how hana wanted me to be her side but I've never cared about her feelings and asked her to leave. Now I was feeling this loneliness and realised how my hanu endured all this. I've also behaved rude and harsh to her. I've also hurt her so all this I deserve it.

I slapped my both cheeks hard.

Why why why! Why I hurt her? Why I couldn't see how much I love her?! Why i let happene all those?! If I realised how much she meant to me before doing anything wrong with her then now we would have together.

All those things started haunting me. I want my hanu back. Throwing myself on the pillow I closed my eyes tightly to make those things go away but only felt my tears falling in return and increasing that pain.

******

"What? But mama you told me you will come today then how can you change your plans" I asked feeling annoying rubbing my forehead. I was getting ready for the office when i got called from mama to inform me that they will come tomorrow.

"Rahmaan.. we will come tomorrow not next month. Why are you being so annoying?" She asked with same annoying tone as mine.

"But mama.. I can't asked for early leave today as well. My boss already gave me two days to come home early if I asked him today also then he will fire me.. and I can't let hana alone at night too." I said worriedly.

"I don't understand why your doing this job when you have your own company to handle" she said as always confused and anger. Mama wasn't happy to hear that I was going to work for others. But I told her I want to experience this.

"Anyways... Tell shanu to stay for night today if you cannot come home early" she said and I felt ease with this idea. We talked few more minutes before I said bye cause I wanted to go to office.

I wasn't feeling well today. Last night I didn't know how long that all the horrible thoughts haunted me but when I opened my eyes I felt sharp pain and then I realised I haven't had healthy sleep.

I went to see hana. And saw her door closed but not locked. Stepping inside I saw her asleep.

As my eyes went to coffee table a smile made its way to my lips. Plate was empty. It's mean she ate. Feeling delighted I walked out.

I asked maid as mama told and thankfully she agreed. I know I would be late tonight. Hmm.. today is gonna be tough.

*********

As I said today was going to be tough. It did. It's already 9pm and i was still in my office. My boss also here. Day after tomorrow we had this year's biggest conference meeting. some of us who had to work for this conference was still here with me.

I wasn't feeling well till morning my headache was increasing as time passed. I had only ate sandwich this morning. Maybe that's why.

It's almost 10pm when we all left the office. As I sat on the car I took out my mobile and saw Ali's 8 missed calls

God my mobile was silent.

I cursed before calling him back. As he received the call he told me to came to office immediately. I was too exhausted but I can't neglect my baba's office. Even though he didn't said but I know he trusted me that's why he leaves everything on me without any stressed and I couldn't disappoint him anymore. Sighing I started driving to my office.

I was feeling...

It's going to be long and painful night

*******

Hana was sitting on the window chair while using mobile to kill the boredom. It's a 12 o'clock and she wasn't feeling sleepy and one more thing revolving in her mind.

Where is Maan?

She didn't wanted to feel like that but she couldn't help. Rahmaan always come before 8pm but today it's 12am and he wasn't home yet. That makes Hana's mind went to negative thoughts.

He must be partying with his friends

Or maybe he found someone suitable for him. After all I pushed him away from me. And men like rahmaan couldn't control throwing himself at other womens.

That thought make Hana's inside burned. she didn't wanted to feel jealous and hurt but she couldn't help. Whenever the thought of rahmaan being with someone else caused her heart to ache painfully.

She was lost in her thoughts and didn't realise when her eyes closed their own. She slept there putting her head on the window frame.

Her eyes shot open as she heard car screeching sounds. She looked outside and saw Rahmaan's car stopped in the porch and he walked inside.

Hana went outside and saw him walking toward his room. He didn't even thought to see her.

It means I was right he must be coming after enjoying his outing.

She thought. Walking inside her room angrily.

On the other hand rahmaan went to his room and throw himself on the bed. He felt his head spinning.. His body was burning. He didn't know that he had fever. It was Ali who told him that he had high fever and told him to go home. They both work till 1am cause next morning they had very important meeting with foreign delegates but when rahmaan couldn't handle anymore and placed his head on the table, Ali came to check him and was shocked to know that he had very High fever. Ali gave him medicine and insisted him to go home even he told him that he will drove him home but rahmaan refused and come by himself.

Hana was pacing back and forth in her room. She couldn't sleep. her mind only revolving around one thing -where was rahmaan and with whom- she sat on the bed and tried to think what to do to make him suffer as she was suffering. She's here thinking about the way to make his night sleepless.

He must be tired after partying and night outing.. how about taking all his sleep away.. I mean he wanted to rest and if I won't let him rest then he will never waste his time in night out again.

She thinks with smirk. She wanted to teach rahmaan lesson for coming home late but there rahmaan was in pain. His head was hurting due to immense fever. He was about to consume by sleep when hana knock on his door. But rahmaan didn't have the energy to opened the door. She knocked two more times but still he didn't response. Sighing she come inside and saw him sleeping.

Making my night sleepless your sleeping peacefully. No! I won't let you sleep. I will make this night torture night for you.

Hana thought "rahmaan" and called him many times but got nothing from him.

"Rahman I'm calling you last time.. wake up" again no response it made her angry and she look here and there to find something to wake him up and her eyes catch water jug on the bedside table. Smirking she took that jug and spill all the water on his head making rahmaan screamed in shock and sudden coldness.

"What the hell?" He shouted getting out of the bed. He looked at hana and hana saw his eyes were red. she took few steps back thinking he was angry but she didn't know his eyes were red because of fever.

"Hanu.. what are you doing here at this time.? Are you okay? Do you need anything? If you're not okay then we should go to hospital or you want me to call the doctor?" Rahman forget about his fever and headache seeing hana in his room at 2:30am. He knew hana would have never came in his room if there was nothing important so that make him worried what make hana came here at this time.

Hana was too blind in her negative thoughts that she couldn't see his concern but only his red eyes which make her believe that he was drunk. And that make her even more disgust and angry.

Thinking for few minutes what to say she opened her mouth. "I'm okay.. uhm... I was craving for...for.. for suji ka halwa ( Pakistani/Indian sweet dish) " she uttered what cames her mouth.

"At this time?" Rahmaan asked in bewilderment and tired.

"Yes! Pregnant women doesn't have any particular time for their cravings.. their cravings bloom at any time" she tried to justify her sudden craving.

"But you don't like sooji ( rawa/ semolina).. then now suddenly?" Rahmaan asked still not believing.

He remembered!

Hana thought and face her palm mentally. Can't she think something else.

"Uh.. but I can't help I'm craving for this now.. can't you see I'm pregnant and pregnant women can craves for anything.. so no more questions"

Rahman stared at her for sometime rubbing his forehead. "But at this time We can't find any restaurant or coffee shop open hana.. it's 3am" he said still pressing his fingers on his forehead to erase his headaches but couldn't.

"You can cook for me" hana suggest more like order him. He stared at her unbelievable.

"Me?" Rahman asked confused and surprised that hana wanted this.

"Yes you. You know no one is here and I want sooji ka halwa and I can't cook at this time too.. cause mama said after 7months pregnant women shouldn't go to the stove at midnight" she reasoned and after this rahmaan didn't have any other way. He knew he can't find open restaurant before 6 or 7 o'clock.

"But you know I don't know how to cook" rahmaan said thinking.

"Don't you have mobile.. nowdays we can do anything with the help of our mobile" hana said and rahmaan agreed. They both went to kitchen. In all those rahmaan tried his best to avoid his fever and headache. And didn't wanted hana to know about his illness.

While hana sat on the kitchen counter and busy herself with game. She didn't even notice how much Rahmaan was burning in fever and was in pain. Rahman felt hurt at that. hana can't see his dull and painful face but he didn't said anything and started his cooking. As hana throw cold water at him he felt like his fever might be lower down for sometime and he can cook.

After an hour so he finished his cooking and served in the bowl before going to hana who was busy watching a movie now.

"Here your suji ka halwa my love" rahmaan said standing infront of her. He tried his best to smile lovingly hiding his aching head.

Hana look at the dish and gave him fake smile before taking that

"How was it?" He asked expectedly as hana took first spoon.

But hana again success to broke his heart in million pieces. She threw all the content in the washbasin.

"Yuck! What is rahman!? It felt I'm eating something awful!" She said making disgust face.

"Oh! I'm so sorry Jaan! Here drink this water. I tried my best but I don't know how it taste this awful.." he trailed off confusingly and angry'at himself that he cannot do a single thing to make her happy.

"If you want I can cook again?" He asked and she make a face before saying he yes. And again he started making that suji ka halwa.

Even though she knew it's not bad for rahmaan who cook first time for her but still she wanted to do this in her hate and anger. She tried to hurt him. She already made up her mind that she will make this night torture night for rahmaan and she did exactly like that.

He cook again and again hana did the same saying it's awful he again cook third time and this time hana took that bowl after tasting and throw that in the dustbin. "You can't cook! And now I don't want to eat that awful cooking of yours! I'm going to bed" she said yawing walking out of the kitchen.