《Helpless (Lin-Manuel Miranda x Reader)》The Showcase
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The tech rehearsal had gone well. You knew all the choreography, and the instrumental version of the song was perfect- clear, and not too loud or too quiet.
You found some good clothes that looked like Vanessa's, and Lin brought an actual champagne bottle.
When it came time for the kiss, you did the same thing- hands on the side of his face, and leaning in slow (but not too slow).
Just before your lips met, something fell down backstage, and that surprised you two out of your romantic moment.
Well, you had the best luck.
But now, it was the night of the showcase, and it was a full house. And you had to kiss Lin. You were going to kiss Lin.
As you listen to the songs, you slowly grow more and more nervous. Soon, a huge knot had formed in your stomach, and you were in full-on panic mode.
Lin notices your nervous expression, and puts his hand on your shoulder gently. "It's going to be okay," he whispers. "You've done a lot of performances before. This one won't be any different."
You nod. It won't be any different. It won't be any different. For some reason, just the sound of Lin's soothing voice helps you calm down, and when they announce that it was yours and Lin's turn, you only feel a little nervous.
"Break a leg," you mouth to him as he goes onstage.
"You too," he mouths back.
You go onstage right after him, carrying the champagne in a bag.
The song starts, and all your nervousness washes away. In the small time that you hadn't been performing, you had forgotten how much you loved it.
"Vanessa, I don't know why you're mad at me."
That was the line. That was the line that was the beginning of it all. You could do this. It was just a stage kiss. It didn't mean anything... right?
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"I wish I was mad," you sing, then pause. You try to leave, but Lin grabs your arms to stop you.
Time slows as you stare at his amazing face, looking at you, so desperate, so confused, wanting to understand so badly. At that moment, he changed from Usnavi to Lin, and you imagined that Lin was looking at you that way.
Before you can second-guess yourself, you put your hands on the sides of his face and press your lips against his gently.
Sparks fly as time stops. You weren't Vanessa anymore; you were Y/N. You were Y/N, and you were kissing Lin.
He rests one hand on your waist, and the other on the crook of your back. He kisses you back, and you feel like you're in heaven. Like you could grow wings right now and fly away. You feel like you could stay like this forever.
Lin starts to deepen the kiss, and you follow along in bliss, until you remember that you weren't Y/N kissing Lin. You were Vanessa kissing Usnavi. And Vanessa says something soon.
You pull away from him, and feel as if you're ripping a part of yourself off. "I'm just too late," you barely fit in, then walk offstage.
You could barely hear the audience clapping beyond the pounding of your own heart. Had Lin forgotten that you were acting, and that you were onstage in front of a hundred or more people? It seemed like he had. But maybe he was just acting. He had to be. He was with Vanessa, not you. Yep. He had been just acting.
But you hadn't been. The realization hit you hard. You had kissed Lin. Not Vanessa. Why did you let yourself do that?
You bury your head in your hands, then look up when you hear someone coming. It was Lin.
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"Um, good job," he says kindly, but seems a little dazed.
You and him both. "You too."
"...Now we'll come all the performers come out and take a bow!"
Together, you and Lin walk out onto the stage with all the other people that had performed tonight, and you notice everyone grabbing hands to bow.
You look at Lin's hand, then grab it at the same time he grabs yours. You don't think you'll ever get used to the way you feel when he touches you. Or the way the kiss felt like it was still lingering on your lips, waiting to be awoken.
Gosh. When did you become Shakespeare?
You all bow, and you feel relieved that it's over, but also disappointed. You would be seeing Lin a lot less now that the showcase was over.
But when you look over at Lin and see that he had been looking at you, you know that Lin-Manuel Miranda wasn't even close to coming out of your life.
Edit: I just remembered that you can't copy and paste. You could take the time to type it out if you want, or just look up "In The Heights Champagne" on YouTube.
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body, forgive me.
❝i used to be so happy,❞in which she murdered her stomach empty.
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