Third Person PoV

" Here, please eat." Suzune places down the food tray which contained a cup of water, a bowl of porridge, and fruit slices.

Kiyotaka didn't seem to hear her. He was simply staring at the window, lost in his own mind.

Suzune sighed.

She poked his cheek. " Ayanokoji-kun. "

No response.

She pokes him again. " Ayanokoji-kun."

Still no response.

She scoops up a spoonful of porridge before suddenly reaching for Kiyopon's chin, turning his direction to her, and then shoving the spoon of porridge into his mouth.

" Ghf!" Kiyopon didn't expect that. But he slowly chewed and swallowed.

He gives Suzune a look that had the energy of " What the hell was that?" written all over it.

" I tried to grab your attention, but you didn't look my way." She says before scooping up another spoon. " I'm not sorry, by the way."

Kiyopon looks away.

" It's bland." He plainly said.

" I can't tell if you're telling me that out of spite, which by the way, is quite a rare thing for you to do. Or if the food does actually taste bland. I know it's porridge but I did my best in adding flavor in it." She replied.

" ....Perhaps a bit of both." He said.

Suzune raises a brow.

But then she notices Kiyopon's gaze turning dim once more.

"...It does taste bland, though. I'm sorry that I can't really appreciate it like usual." He apologized.

" ....It's all right. I understand." She said with a small smile. " But please eat more, okay?" She said.

" Oka-" but he was interrupted once more when Suzune immediately shoved another spoonful in his mouth.

" Your health concerns me very much. The fact that your starving and dehydrating yourself....it scared me when you passed out on the floor yesterday." She says.

Kiyopon stares at her in silence while swallowing his spoonful of porridge.

" I....don't want to see that happen again. I want to make sure it doesn't happen again. So please....please start eating more until you're better." She pleaded.

Kiyopon stayed silent for a bit. Suzune was staring at her bowl, seemingly lost in thought, likely reliving the scene when Kiyopon passed out.

Suzune gasped when she saw a hand reach for the spoon in her hand. Kiyopon took the spoon from her and scooped another spoonful of porridge before nomming on it.

" ....Sorry....for worrying you." He said between chewing the meat bits that were in the porridge.

Suzune smiles again and nods. " It's okay...."

After Kiyopon finished eating and Suzune making sure that he actually ate everything. She quickly handed him a glass of water and some medicine before carrying the plates to the kitchen where she would wash them.

Kiyopon sighed.

For a while, he wanted to say something. But he couldn't.

He didn't know how to say it. No, he did know how to say it.....he was just a bit anxious of her response.

It wasn't only Matsuo's words that were haunting his mind, but also the realizations of what he had said to Suzune the day before.

He gripped his blanket in frustration, but he dared not to show it on his expression. He needed to control his emotions. It's been leaking out too much.

But he wondered if that's the exact opposite of what Matsuo would've wanted?

People might say that it's easier to let things like emotions go when you've been holding back for so long to the point where you forgot about its existence....

But it was the exact opposite.

It's easier to hold things back than letting it all go. After doing it for so long, your mind will subconsciously do just that without being completely aware of the process.

Kiyopon knew that it was unhealthy. Perhaps it's the very reason why this deep dark feeling is eating away at him and costing both his physical and mental health, but he didn't know what to do with it. He didn't know how to act upon it.

Letting go of his emotions.....the best way to describe Kiyopon's thoughts towards it....is simply fear. The fear of the unknown. The fear of something he no longer knows. The fear of something he is unable to understand.

A fear that the Matsuo in his dreams....is trying to get him over with.

Kiyopon knows that he had displayed his pain and anger towards Horikita Suzune, but it didn't ease anything. Nothing. He still felt an intense pressure, a currently numbing feeling in his chest that likely hurt again. He drowns in his own thoughts.

He wonders if he's even worthy to be saved, after having ruined the life of a good man and his son.

He wonders if he truly bears zero fault in the entire situation. But that's a false dream.

" Okay, It's 6 pm now......I already washed the dishes." Suzune said as she walked out the kitchen.

She looks at Kiyopon but Kiyopon does not return her gaze.

" Did you drink your medicine?" She simply asked.

Kiyopon slowly nodded.

Suzune sighs, " That's good."

" Well....I'll go now. I did promise you your alone time." She said before making her way to the door. " Please take care of yourself until I'm back. I'll follow the routine I promised to do. Good night, Ayanokoji-kun."

She was about to open the door.

" I didn't mean it." He finally spoke and halted her exit.

Suzune doesn't look at him, but she was waiting for his next words.

" What I said to you.....I.....I didn't mean it." He finally looks at her, but her back was still turned.

" I was angry.....but that isn't an excuse. I'm sorry for saying such things.....if they hurt you.....then....you can hurt me back." He offered.

" Are you serious...." Suzune gritted her teeth before glaring at Kiyopon.

He looked suprised at her fierce gaze as she angrily stomps towards him.

" Are you seriously offering that of all things?! What in god's name do you think, in any universe, in any sense, in any reality, where I would choose to hurt you, huh?!" She stood next to his bed.

" ...I....I thought it would make things even-"

" You thought wrong." She interrupted. " You're only thinking of yourself."

" ....Thinking of myself? How could you-"

" Did I stutter? You're not thinking about my feelings. You're using it to your advantage because despite all my effort, you STILL feel like you have to punish yourself. To hurt yourself." She said.

"...." Kiyopon didn't think about it that way. But it made sense. He DID still felt like punishing himself....because he believed he deserved it.

"...Your words did hurt me." She admits. " I try to act like I'm okay....but it does hurt. A lot."

She then kneels by his bed looks up at him with a serious gaze,

" But the way you're treating yourself......it's me, Ayanokoji-kun." Her voice cracked.

"...." Kiyopon's eyes widened in suprise at her words.

She averts her eyes. " I don't know what happened to you.....I don't know if you're ever going to be confident enough...to tell me your feelings but.....please...." She grabs hold of his hand without looking at him.

" Please....promise me.....don't hurt yourself...." She croaked out, trying to suppress her emotion.

' You can't fathom how much you mean to me, Ayanokoji-kun...' She wanted to say but hesitated.

Kiyopon places his hand over Suzune's. The sudden reciprocation of warmth suprised her and made her look up at him.

" I'm sorry.....I'm sorry for hurting you." He apologized. " I promise I'll get better."

She nods silently and they held hands for a while before she eventually left.

When she left, Kiyopon realized something.

He still felt her warmth even when she'd already left. Ever since this pain began, he felt empty and cold. But now there was a bit of warmth. He could feel it.

He felt a tiny bit of pressure being lifted from his shoulders after hearing Suzune's words. His heart remained heavy, but this small sense of relief was enough to spark something in him.

Kiyopon stared at the ceiling in silence.

Perhaps he has to stop moping and instead try to understand Matsuo's words....

Find a way to express his feelings, to expel the negative thoughts out of his mind. To accept things as it is and move on.

To find a way in order to forgive himself.....

Yes...

That night, he made a promise to both himself and to her.....

Kiyopon will do his best to hold on to that promise....

CHAPTER END!

The healing process begins!