It was a Thursday and Sara was out of town for a work trip so Evie stayed with us for a night. We were a month into her staying with Steve every other weekend and it all seemed to be going smoothly. It was evening and I was tucking her in while V was cleaning up dinner and the boys were getting ready for bed too. It was a school night after all.

"Lin." She spoke up.

"Yeah sweetie?"

"Can I ask you something."

"Of course!"

"My daddy told me I couldn't tell mommy something, but that means that I can tell you right?"

I immediately sat up. "Why would you not be allowed to tell mommy something?"

She shrugged. "That's what daddy said."

"Evie. What did your daddy say you couldn't tell your mom.?" I told her seriously.

She looked down, somewhat embarrassed.

"Daddy touched me."

It stayed completely silent for a moment. She looked at me for some kind of response and when nothing came she continued.

"He said it would be our little secret."

My heart shattered. I felt the adrenaline enter my veins as I tried to keep my fury under control. Tears entered my eyes and I had to close them for a second to calm myself down.

"Evie." My voice was shaking. "Where did he touch you." I said, even though I already knew the answer.

She looked uncomfortable. "D-down there." She said, in an almost questioning tone.

In that moment I wished I had killed the man when I had the chance.

"Do you know that no one is allowed to touch you there?"

"He said it was normal."

I sighed deeply. In no way did I want to bear witness to a conversation like this, not even remotely. But I had to, because this 5 year old girl sitting right in front of me needed my help.

"When did he do this?"

"When he tucked me in."

I shook my head in frustration.

"It felt wrong didn't it."

She nodded softly and I could see she was starting to tear up.

"Oh sweetheart." I said, as I engulfed her in a big hug. "I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry."

I started crying too and just held her for a while. I released her from the hug and put one hand on her shoulder, making sure she understood everything of what I was about to say.

"I am so proud of you for telling me this. You did a very good job. No one is allowed to do something like that, even if it's your father. It's not normal and I'm so glad you spoke up. I'm gonna make sure that that never happens again."

She nodded, but I could see she was too upset to fall asleep right away. So we talked a little more about simple things, nothing serious, just trying to take her mind off of things.

"I think It's time for you to sleep now." I told her softly.

"Will you stay here until I fall asleep?" She asked me.

"Of course sweetheart, of course."

I gently stroked her hair and listened to her peaceful breathing until she fell asleep. It was astounding to me that she was able to nod off after what she just told me. The innocence of little kids would always move me.

After a couple of minutes she was fast asleep. I slowly got up and walked out of the room, closing the door behind me as softly as I could. I let my head fall down for a second, finally fully grasping the weight of the conversation. How on earth was I gonna explain this to Vanessa?! Let alone Sara!

"You took a while in there." V noted, her back facing me as I walked back from the guest room. As soon as she turned around, her face fell.

"Lin. What happened."

I started walking towards the couch, signaling for her to come sit next to me.

"We have a big big problem. I don't even know-"

"What did he do?!" She knew. Of course she knew, she wasn't stupid. I looked over at her. She looked fed up, exhausted, tired of this situation, tired of him, yet somehow fierce. I sighed deeply.

"He touched her." I couldn't get the words out of my mouth without my voice cracking. V sat up.

"No, no this can't be possible." I pitied her. I knew how she felt. I gently grabbed her hand and managed to force myself through the details. I started crying and V started crying quickly thereafter.

As soon as I was done with the story it fell quiet. There was nothing more to say. We both cried softly as we held hands. It felt like the weight of it all was about to break my shoulders. Maybe they were already broken. I wasn't sure.

"She must have been so scared." V finally spoke up. I looked at her, almost surprised. I had gotten used to the silence.

"Yeah." I whispered, my throat raspy. For the first time I pictured him touching her. I didn't want to, but my mind just went there. The heaviness I had felt before started to replace itself with an indescribable amount of rage. It came slowly and started building up in my body. V sensed it.

"Shh. It's okay baby. She's okay now."

My jaw tensed up and I leaned slightly forward.

"I'm gonna kill him."

My voice was colder than it has ever been. In that moment I discovered that at a certain point of rage, the angrier you get the less you start screaming and the colder your voice becomes. It was worse than screaming. It carried more emotion. No, it didn't. That was the point. There was no emotion in it. It felt empty. I felt empty. It almost scared me. And by the look on Vanessa's face I could see it scared her to.

She turned me towards her and gently grabbed the sides of my face with both of her hands, forcing me to look at her. She had a concerned but loving look in her eyes.

"Evie is safe. That is the only thing that matters right now. That man is gonna go to jail for the rest of his life. I'm gonna make sure of that."

Her voice was steady. Mine could never be in that moment. A single tear escaped my eye and she softly brushed it away with her thumb. I leaned in to kiss her. It got heated quickly. We were both upset and stressed and we needed to blow off steam. I slammed her on the couch rougher than I usually would, but now was not the time for sweet love-making. She didn't seem to have a problem with it. We were still crying, but it didn't matter, it was passionate and comforting as our body's moved against each other. Desperate to forget. Even if it was just for a moment.