『Maybe this is how it's supposed to be me in a cage with you looking in you know me on this side and you on that side』

"Izu-nii?"

"Izu-niiiiiiiii!"

"IZU-NII!"

"WAAA! Kat- oh Eri, good morning."

Izuku rubs his eyes sitting up from his bed. What was he just about to call eri? cat? Maybe a new nickname his mind came up with. But that's not it, no, it seemed more like a habit long forgotten. Had he missed a memory again? Before any deep thought could proceed on Izuku's end the young girl bounces up again.

"Morning brother! It's wake up time!" The young girl beams. Her smile was so warm and bright. Somehow Izuku can only link it to his mothers. Even though she left him years ago and his dad has tried to help him let go Eri perfectly reminds him of that old past. And he's perfectly fine with it.

Even if he can barely remember her. The fading green hair, those big eye slightly darker like an emerald. He always wished he looked more like his mother. Unfortunately he seemed to be a perfect clone of his father. White hair, gray-green eyes, freckles and curly untamed hair. Izuku was a mini him. Some part of his chest ached at the fact.

He felt something was wrong. He was wrong. Izuku felt like he was lacking something. Something more than memories, people, faces of strangers that make his eye water with sadness. A deep longing to be found by faceless dreams.

And a father figure, a man he knew wasn't his father. This man was darker, kinder, gentle and patient. He was mysterious and quiet yet feisty and dry humoured. He liked... he liked coffee. The smell of espresso lingered around him makeing Izuku ease and relax. There was cat hair stuck to black clothes. And warmth. Familial warmth. He feels calmed by that smell, warped up in the warmth of a smile that he can only just remember. So many details about a man he no longer knows. Just another blurred face in his memories.

Maybe in a previous life.

It's not Important now even with his feelings that never fade he had his family and his father. Each shigaraki linked through light hair, two with read eyes, two with gray. Father, tomura Shigaraki, Izuku shigaraki and the youngest, Eri shigaraki.

They looked connected. Felt connected. Yet there was always the doubt of who was missing. A big divide that drew a clear line in the sand between them. A mother absent from the home. But his mother surely didn't bring both tomura and Eri. Izuku was only hers right? They weren't all connected through both parents. She didn't abandon them all. Where did those scarlet eyes that sent shivers down his spine come from.

Why when he saw them did he think of his restless nights. Those voices that called to him. His father soothing him back to sleep.

It happens when he looks at his own reflection. A feeling of familiarity. A warm touch, a cool voice. Smooth, placid movements. A life that's not his flashes before his eyes. He's transported temporary to someone else. Then Izuku gets upset. He feels deep anger, guilt and regret. He smashed the mirror on the floor cutting his hand in the process. Father never bought a mirror again. And any that remained stayed covered with sheets. A sign tomura calls respect for the dead.

Izuku felt guilty thinking about this. How ungrateful could he be. Creating elaborate fantasies in his head accusing his father of lying and drilling it into his mind that this isn't right. Questioning his father and how hard he works to raise his children. Dismissing his love. Izuku knows his father had a certain fondness towards him that tomura and Eri don't have. The two never noticed but Izuku can. He can get away with more. He can fight back more. He can do more.

Yet at the same time he can't. He can't do what they do. If he gets hurt he has to be taken care of for days instead of hours. Every one has to treat him as a delicate flower.

As to prove his point, here was his sister to wake him up for a breakfast he could make for them, Izuku is surprisingly good at cooking, but he is forced not to. Instead he has it laid out ready for him to just eat. It's just there.

It had been four days since his father has told him to rest and today he could finally leave the bedroom he'd been stuck in. Not that's he's complaining this bedroom was really big and had everything he could ever possibly need in it.

He can still remember the day his dad brought him home from the park on that cool autumn day. He remembers meeting his older brother tomura and then a few years later welcomed little Eri into the family. Father was always talking about baby sister. He would talk as if she was already alive even though it was years early. He knew exactly how the future would play out. It's a part of his father, Izuku finds incredibly chilling.

Since then Eri has been stuck to Izuku's hip like glue. She loves him so much that she refuses to sleep anywhere but in the same room as Izuku. Their father always laughs at the antics the two get up too and he's the only one who can pry Eri away from the poor sickly boy.

Now the three of them sleep In the main bedroom. Izuku next to his father and Eri next to Izuku. Behind the three futons are three dressers each for one of them. Then besides them is a big desk and a play area for Eri. Also a bathroom with a huge tub and walk in shower. Izuku would be lying if he said he didn't love that room most.

There is also a game station mostly for tomura and Izuku. They usually bond over that, but they're very close already since they've been together so long.

'Are you sure Izuku? Do you remember me, Midoriya.'

There's his voice talking in his head again. Midoriya. Who is that? Is it another made up person. Why is he so insistent on torturing himself and by extension his father who then by extension again his family.

It's probably just a fragmented memory.

It's been annoyingly slow remembering some of his memories. Luckily for him, father has been happy to help and he seems to have gathered up all the blank space. Memories come together so easily when father helps out. Tomura and Eri have been visiting the boy too. The like spending time with him while their father is away. Happy family bonding time, father told them.

Right now the boy can see Eri looming over him since she has come to wake him up for breakfast. Sadly he hasn't slept too well as the same dream has been keeping him restless. These two blurred figures are talking to a boy. He can't make out everything that they're saying but they know his name. They keep asking him to wait for them. They love this green boy called Izuku.

It seems to be a branched off personality of his. One he made up to represent his mother. Green hair. Green eyes. Her smile. He watches the way the all interact. It makes him feel some kind of second hand emotion.

It's a painful dream. One that tugs on his chest and always leaves him with a migraine after.

It's stressful how real it feels. Izuku struggles to make out their faces each time but nothing clears. Only this green version of him. A healthy, free, lively boy that mirrors his mother's best traits.

He usually wakes up with a start. Sweating and panting. It's lucky his father sleeps next to him to help him calm down. "Raw anxiety gets someone nowhere but the muddled paths of the mind." Father whispers to him. "Control it my darling doll, best your mind."

And it's lucky he doesn't wake Eri up too. His father is so nice and soothing. Gently pulling the boy over and rocking him. Or petting his hair and stroking his back. Izuku is off to sleep in no time.

In fact the boy can't begin to think how awful his life would be without his father's helping hand. Both him and Eri and tomura look up and depend on him every day. Tomura helps out at his work but Eri and he himself are forbidden from joining or knowing what they do on their many jobs. Izuku finds this unfair.

Another thing Izuku is forbidden from is heroes. They live in a very anti-hero household. Not that that stops Izuku from admiring them in his head.

But no matter what his doubts are, he owes his survival to his father.

All they know about his job is that it's a big organisation. One that helps heroes and keeps people safe. It's very business oriented so the two younger kids can't understand.

So instead, Tomura and father make breakfast before leaving the house for work then, Eri will come in and wake up Izuku so they can eat together.

Now they sit at the table chopsticks in hand ready to eat. "Thanks for the meal!" They both cheer. "So Eri what's on the agenda today?"

Eri looks deep in thought. She munches her food then looks up excitedly "brother! brother! Let's go to the park!" Izuku nods happily finishing off his rice. "Okay then today we can go to the park."

Both of them smile wildly at each other before bursting into fits of laughter. "Brother is very funny!" The small girl chimes. Izuku nods placing their plates away. "Right let's get dressed then we can head out okay?"