"What's wrong with her?"

Cal silently took the silver stethoscope out his ears and draped it around his neck, then rubbed down his face with one hand.

"Cal," I pressed.

"It's her head mostly," he began. "Physical trauma from her time with the Sytengco's bruised some parts of her skull and her brain. I'm still going over the MRI scans, but there's damage to her hippocampus, basal ganglia and frontal lobe, which is why she's having memory gaps, why her energy is so low, and can't quite coordinate her movements. The tracker that Flagg created based on the leftover technology in her eye damaged her amygdala and the top of her spinal cord just from where it was placed at the back of her neck. She also has a pulmonary contusion, and one of her ribs has been out of place for a while and has started to splinter. The parts that broke off punctured some of her internal organs, which explains the bleeding. An old gunshot wound in her side went untreated and is now infected. I don't know how she managed to keep that a secret. But I presume you knew about it?"

I nodded. I knew about that last part. I had no fucking clue what a hippo-something was.

"And she didn't want to bother me, so she dealt with it herself?"

I scratched the back of my neck. "Yeah. I'm sorry. I should have told you, I just, she didn't want me to, and I promised her, and like —you know how she is...." I trailed off and swept a hand through my hair. I'd been doing that so much lately I'm pretty sure it looked like a wave of mud at this point.

Cal nodded and continued to look tired. "No, I get it. It was stupid, but I get it."

I leaned forward in my chair and began to wring my hands together slowly. They were clammy and trembling like a vibrating phone. "Is she gonna die?" I whispered.

Cal's dark brown eyes looked directly into mine. "Axel I know you're not a kid, so—"

"I've never really been a kid Oakleigh. Tell me the truth," I commanded.

The Irishman let out a small breath. "There's a small chance."

"How small?"

"10%."

My chest locked up. A shrill beep sounded in my ears. The air around me suddenly felt hot and suffocating. "Of dying?" I whispered.

Cal shook his head slowly. "Other way around."

-

"I'm seeing double," I joked, blinking the sleep out of my eyes.

Both boys immediately sat forward and leaned their forearms on opposites edge of the hospital bed I was in. I struggled to shift myself up a little more, muttering 'it's okay, I got it,' when one of the boys tried to help me prop my back up against a pillow. Finally I managed it, sinking my shaking limbs deep into the soft surface. "Okay, so let's see here," I said, glancing between the two brunets on either side of me. I pointed to the one on my left, "dick," I said, then shifted my gaze to the one on my right, "and less of a dick."

Harrison mimicked a shot clock buzzer on my left. "Wrong."

On my other side Axel broke into a grin. "Nah, I think she got it this time."

"Hell yeah I did," I cried, then burst out into a coughing fit that left every part of me raw. Axel stood up and grabbed a glass of water with a straw from the table beside me, then passed it over to me with sympathy in his eyes. It was always his eyes that even when I was sedated off my ass that made me able to tell him and Harrison apart.

"Are you gonna tell her what you told me?" Axel asked Harrison while I sipped the water.

Harrison clutched either side of his head and leaned back in his chair. "No."

I took the straw out of my mouth and Axel took the cup away. "What did he say?" I asked excitedly.

"Don't you dare." Harrison pointed a finger at him.

"Harry here was just mindlessly mumbling about two hours ago—"

"High?" I asked.

"Oh screw you guys," Harrison muttered, crossing his arms and looking away moodily.

I smiled and Axel happily continued. "Nah, he was crystal-clean. We were just chatting, about nothing in particular, when a certain somebody's name pops up in the conversation. Out of the blue. No prodding from me."

I gasped. Pain blossomed out from my ribs but I didn't care. "No," I said, darting my eyes between the two boys on either side of me. "No way."

"Yes way." Axel grinned again.

Harrison abruptly stood up. "I'm leaving."

"For Boston?!" I said excitedly.

He glared down at me. "No."

"Why not?" I asked.

He sighed, glaring around him for a little while and then dropping back into his chair. "'Cause...she doesn't want to see me." He ran a hand through his darker brown hair. It had grown out from when he had cut it shorter after they all escaped the agency almost four months ago.

"Bullshit," Axel and I called at the same time.

"How do you know she doesn't want to see you if you don't actually go see her?" I asked him.

Harrison sighed. "We said goodbye. It was final. She knows too much about us than is comforting anyway, and she certainly doesn't need me barreling in and fucking up the life she's trying to make for herself."

"I think we already fucked her life up a little bit." Axel shrugged.

"Just go see her, dumbass," I said. "What's the worst that could happen?"

"She throws a drink in my face?" Harrison offered.

"I fail to see how that would be the worst possible thing," Axel chimed.

"Didn't she do that already when you suggested using an actual laser as a toy for Percy?" I asked.

"You guys are really changing my mind here," Harrison noted.

I rubbed my fingers lightly over the bandages over my ribs. I felt like I was going to throw up but I held it in. "Harrison, listen to me." I managed to flip on my side to look at him with only slight pain erupting from the several needles in my arm. "I saw the way she looked at you when we were leaving her apartment in New York. Then when we all showed up in her dorm room, and then after the gala. And I saw the way you looked at her towards the end too, believe me —it was kinda gross for the rest of us."

Axel cracked up. "She's right bro, come on," he laughed when Harrison gave him a deadpan stare. "I literally cannot count the amount of girls you've fooled around with," Axel said, "nor the amount of times I've walked in on it, but they sure as hell haven't looked as passionate as when you even look at Jinx."

We both looked at him sincerely, trying to gauge his reactions and movements. He just sighed and ruffled his hair some more. "You're being serious?" He finally breathed.

"Yes!" Axel and I both said.

"Just go see her," I begged. "And if nothing comes of it, so what?"

"'So what?'" He restated. "So what is I'll get my heart crushed and go off girls forever."

"That could never happen," Axel assured him.

"She won't crush my heart?"

"No, you'll never go off girls."

I giggled at Harrison's reaction, even though it hurt to. He stood up and huffed. "And I came by to see you because I care," he shook his head at me.

"Thank you Harry," I smiled. "You made Axel laugh."

"I laugh!" Axel protested from my other side.

Yeah, but not recently. I missed it.

Harrison fumbled with the collar on his shirt. "Fine, I'll go see her."

"Yes!" I cried out. I would have pumped a fist in the air but my chest was feeling heavy and light at the same time.

Harrison bent down over my bed and gave me a soft kiss on the forehead. "Don't die on me while I'm out, 'kay?" He said, eyes serious for once.

"I promise," I told his brown eyes.

"Good." He stood up straight again and started to walk out the infirmary.

"I'm not gonna die, stop looking like a wounded puppy," I whispered to Axel after turning back to him. He didn't really get my message, and continued to look at me with big hazel eyes and a pained expression.

"Oh yeah and one more thing." Harrison turned back around and pointed a steady finger in my face. His eyes darkened and the smirk slid off his face in an instant. "Break my best friend's heart, and I break you."

I raised both my hands as best as I could with three different wires crawling into them. "Deal," I croaked.

"You can go now," Axel said, shooing him away with his hand. The he looked back at me and ran his eyes down my face. "How are you feeling?"

I groaned. "Please stop asking me that Axel, it makes me feel like an old woman."

"I'm just worried—"

"Sorry, I take that back. You're the old woman."

His jaw dropped. "Wow. And to think that I've been here for the past five days and nights?" He scoffed playfully and ruffled his hair. "Damn Adira, that's some low shade."

I sighed and rested my head on its side. Then I really studied him. I dragged my eyes down his face, lingering on his eyes for the most part, and the occasional thin scar that echoed past missions or training mishaps. I slowly brought my hand up to touch my own jawline. "You got a little fuzz there Axe," I said.

"Huh?" He rubbed his chin and jawline.

"I didn't know you could grow facial hair," I grinned.

"Fuck off!" He laughed. "I'm 21, I shave!"

"I've never seen you."

"Spies don't have beards! And I've been here with you 24/7, so I haven't had time!"

"Why are you being so loud?" I laughed.

"Because!" He protested, eyes wide and flustered. "Because... like, you're patronizing me!" He threw his hands in the air and leaned back in his chair to pout.

I continued to laugh at how his voice had cracked in the middle of the sentence, and how he purposely wouldn't look me in the eye. Then something gurgled at the back of my throat.

"Shit," I murmured as the blood trickled down my chin.

Axel quickly but calmly stood up again and grabbed tissues from the small table on the other side of my bed to seep up the hot red substance.

"I'm sorry," I moaned. I hated just lying here useless, it made me feel like a spare part. A spare part that everyone keeps around just in case it needs to be used but everyone knows it won't.

"It's okay," he chuckled a little.

"It's really not," I protested, "you don't have to—"

"Shut up and just let me do this," he gave me a stern eye. "I'm not giving up on you."

I rolled my eyes and tried wriggling away from where he was dabbing at the blood that was spilling down my chin. "I'm really starting to hate that catchphrase."

"It's not a catchphrase, it's a fact," he said simply, continuing to wipe away at the blood.

I decided to change the subject. "What time is it?"

"About 8 PM."

Jesus. My sleep schedule was completely out of wack. Sometimes I would sleep for 12 hours, other times I'd wake up every half hour and never fully get to sleep. It didn't help that this bed was so damn uncomfortable and I could barely move with all the shit wrapped around me.

Axel retracted the tissues from my chin since the bleeding had slowed down.

I wriggled my back around some more trying to find a comfortable position. "I just want out," I moaned. "Fresh air, stretch my legs, anything."

The agent gave me a sympathetic smile. "Tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it. Anything. Whatever you want. I hate seeing you uncomfortable."

"I hate you seeing me useless like a fucking baby," I replied.

Axel leaned forward so his elbows were on his knees. He put his hands on the edge of the hospital bed and then rested his chin on them. "Just tell me what you want."

I sighed, trying to think. "You."

Axel raised one eyebrow. "Here? Now?"

I rolled my eyes. "Not like that, asshole." If I could move my arms I would slug him in the shoulder.

He smirked. "Damn."

I shook my head at him and sighed again. I was too tired to try and deal with Axel being flirtatiously suggestive. Not now. "Just get in here."

He smiled and started taking off his boots. I watched him unbutton his shirt next, and shrug it off to the t-shirt underneath. Then he snapped down the movable edge of the bed and crawled into it with me. Very careful not to perturb the wires that connected me to the breathing machine and the various IV's that slithered under my skin, he nested in next to me and started radiating the heat that I had been craving ever since he left the last time. I don't remember when that last time was, but I did know that right now all I wanted was for him to never leave.

-

"Hey," she murmured.

I quickly snapped awake and leaned forward towards her. "Hi," I whispered back.

One finger jutted out towards my hands tightly clasped over the edge of her bed. I reached my hand out and enveloped the small frail digit in my hand. "God, you're so cold," I said. Even just the frigid feeling of one of her fingers flew through my palm and tingled up my arm.

"And you're so warm," she replied, blinking softly.

"I prefer the term hot," I winked.

She smiled, but it looked like it was through a lot of pain. "How long have you been here?"

I adjusted my grip so I was holding her entire hand and not just a finger. "Do you remember what we talked about last time you were awake?" It was a question I asked her whenever she woke up, just to see if she really remembered and maybe Cal was wrong about her damaging her hippo-something, and that her memory was actually fine after all. I also wanted to avoid her question about how long I'd been here. I knew she would start to feel bad about herself if she knew that I had literally not left her side since she'd been in the infirmary.

"Last time?"

I nodded. She blinked a few more times, softly scrunching up her nose in thought. "Uh—I—Um..." She stammered. "I don't think I've woken up today... have I?"

I shook my head. "No. Just testing you," I lied, smiling. She smiled back. These were her last days. I knew this. But I'd started lying to her, and that cut deeper than the probability that I might not ever see the blue of her eyes again.

"Did I pass?" She asked hopefully.

I brought my other hand up to rub her cheek. "With flying colors."

I should just cut out my tongue. It would hurt less than this.

Her eyelids started to flutter closed. "Can I sleep?" She murmured.

I wrapped my hand tighter around hers, getting her to snap awake a little bit more. "Few more minutes Deera, then you can sleep all you want," I assured her, quickly whistling to one of the nurses walking by. He saw Adira awake and rushed off.

"Let's talk," I started, rubbing my thumb over her temple. "Favorite movie. Go."

"You first," she whispered, starting to drift off again. "I'll listen."

"Hey hey hey, come on stay with me," I said, patting her cheek until her eyes flew open again. "Favorite Star Wars. Go."

"The one with the fight with the sand things," she managed, arching her back to try and sit up more.

"That could be literally any one of them." I smiled. The nurse from before approached us with two more nurses by his side. "More specifics. Can you remember?"

"Why's this on me?" She asked, glancing down at the IV stuck in the underside of her forearm.

"That's taking your blood Deerie. It's important." I peeled her fingers off of the tape that was keeping it there. "You need to leave it in. Can you do that?"

"It hurts," she noted.

"I'm sorry."

The nurses scribbled notes on the beeping screen behind her and took her temperature. They asked her to open her mouth and how her hands were. They told her to take deep breaths and then wrote down some more. Adira stayed silent and droopy for all of it, only talking when they asked her questions. She had stopped asking questions of her own a long time ago.

-

"Axe."

He wouldn't look at me.

"Axel," I tried again. The agent continued to look down at his feet. "Would you stop being a fucking baby and look at me?" I took deep gasps after each sentence because it took so much energy and breath just to speak.

Finally he did, wiping his cheeks with the heels of his palms. He leaned forward towards me. "Okay, okay, I'm good."

I stared at him for a while. "Sure."

"I am, I promise." He swiped one last time at the corners of his eyes and then shook his hands out. "See? Just fine."

I smiled weakly. "Okay. 'Cause we need to talk."

"No, you need to—"

"Axel Lawrence don't you even try."

He shut his mouth.

I shifted under my blankets and reached out for his hand. I laced our fingers together and took a deep breath. "If you hadn't chosen to be so kind, so empathetic to me, these past months would never have happened. You were protective of me when I needed it the most. Even though I tried to push you away you wouldn't let me. You kept close and assured me that I was a good person. You made me want to live again."

Axel bit his lip and his gorgeous hazel eyes glittered with more tears. "Deera—"

"Please just let me speak," I whispered. "You fixed me. And I love you."

He placed his other hand over where our hands were clasped together. "I love you too."

"You refuse to see the bad in me. And you never gave up on trying to prove to me that I was good enough."

"It's cause you are good enough, you stubborn—"

"Bitch?" I offered.

He scoffed. "No, you're just plain stubborn. No, I think persistent is more the word."

"You are too," I reminded him.

"Yeah, but not as much as you."

"Are we seriously arguing about who's the most stubborn right now?" I sighed.

"You're not so sad anymore, are you?"

I blinked. "How the hell do you guys do that?" I tried to yell, but it came out more like a hoarse whisper.

"Do what?" He raised one eyebrow mischievously.

My head started to feel too heavy to lift up so I gratefully let it slack and rested my cheek on the pillow so I could still look at him. "That spy thing," I told him. "Don't pretend you don't know. You did it in the basement prisons when you first tried to convince me to join the agency. You distracted me from my feelings and just got me talking. Lautaro did it after you said I don't pity anyone but myself, then Harrison did it at the gala. And then you just did it there."

I took a massive breath after all of that.

"You remembered all that?" Axel's eyes lit up.

I nodded very slowly. God my head hurt.

"That's great!" He said, "that means you're getting better right, that's gotta mean something that you can remember all of that—"

"It's her short term memory that's compromised," someone said. "The fact that she can remember all the times we played her doesn't mean anything." James rounded the foot of my bed and into my line of sight. His hair was back to normal from when he dyed it that rusted copper brown color so I could tell it was him even though my vision was starting to fog slightly.

"Hey Deera, how you doing?" He asked softly.

"Fine," I said in my best spirited voice.

The now two agents who were beside me both gave me sympathetic looks, which made me want to tell them to shove it up their asses and quit looking at me like that, but it was actually kinda sweet.

"I'm sure," Lautaro mused.

"All of you?" I moaned.

"Absolutely," Quinn grinned as he came and stood behind Axel.