《The Devil I Love | Jikook Smut |》Chapter 49: I'll Protect You
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"A weak person?" Jungkook questioned and raised his brow before approaching the man over the bed. "What do you mean by that, physically or mentally-"
"Physically! Do you think I'm weak?" Jimin asked again as he sat up and faced Jungkook.
"Well, I don't think it matters if you're strong or not. Why do you think it matters?"
"I just... want to know if I'm able to protect myself towards anyone. Ah, answer the question!" Jimin urged the young man until Jungkook sighed and placed his hands onto his own hips.
"Fine, let's try something... ugh, this is pointless..." Jungkook mentioned and held his own hands up. "Try to pin me against the ground while I will do the same to you, but I'll pin you against the bed so you won't get hurt, is that okay?"
"Y-Yes..." Jimin answered. Hoping that it wouldn't be too true. Even if Jimin knew he wasn't strong enough to shove the Director off of him, there was a slim chance of him being able to pin Jungkook down that easily without the young man applying any force to prevent it. But as desperate Jimin became to avoid the truth of his weakness, he went along with it.
Jimin got up; facing Jungkook before him and raising his own hands to meet with Jungkook's before they could begin. However, Jungkook was worried, he didn't know what the little devil had in mind and was contemplating on doing this. In fact, he was afraid of harming Jimin in a way that could scar him mentally if he didn't succeed in this.
"Jimin, why do you want to prove this? You don't have to-"
"Don't pity me, don't go easy on me, I need to learn. If I'm not strong enough I'll grow from it," Jimin told the young man. Not aware of how badly Jungkook didn't want to do this to the fragile man before him.
"Jimin... I don't... I don't know about this..."
Jimin disregarded what Jungkook said. He longed to prove to himself something, anything that displayed his weakness or his strength; whatever it was, he longed to find out through this in any way to get it through to his mind if he needed to learn how to be stronger on his own. Once they started, Jimin gripped onto Jungkook's hands and managed to make Jungkook step back for the first part, but then, the young man began to step forward until he managed to gain strength over Jimin.
Jungkook wanted to go easy, but he knew Jimin would be tough on himself if he did. So, the young man was conflicted and only hoped to fulfill what Jimin had in mind. The strong man stepped forward until he managed to pin Jimin down against the bed after a moment of Jimin putting up a good fight to win this, but it wasn't enough to make Jungkook get pinned to the solid ground.
Within seconds, Jungkook pinned Jimin against the bed. Worry filled his eyes as he looked down to see Jimin's head locked to the side of the room where his eyes only met with the large windows ahead. Reminding him of many things and leaving him to contemplate until tears fled his ethereal eyes.
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"Are we done here? Jimin, I don't want to do that to you again. Don't ever tell me to prove something to you like this. I don't like it..." Jungkook expressed his thoughts, holding Jimin's hands locked within his own. Not realizing Jimin's tears at that very moment.
Jimin then began to break down so suddenly. He figured that he was weak and there was no way of protecting himself the moment Jungkook leaves him alone with the Director. The helpless model wanted to be strong enough to avoid being trapped within the monster's arms, but he was too weak for that, too broken, and too scared. Jimin cried underneath Jungkook. Just with the feeling of someone stronger pinning him down and showing him that he was weak seemed like something Jimin wanted to prove to himself, but he became afraid of what had yet to come the moment Jungkook would leave.
Jungkook was unaware of how Jimin felt deep down and only became afraid that he hurt Jimin in some way and quickly tried to comfort him. He longed to comfort him even when he didn't know the root of the problem; in fact, he couldn't care less if Jimin wouldn't tell him. He was patient for the one he began to love.
"Jimin, if I hurt you, please tell me! Oh... I'm so sorry... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"
"You... you didn't h-hurt me..." Jimin cried, holding Jungkook's hands within his own. Interlocking their fingers as the young man remained above him. "You would never... hurt... me, Jungkook!"
"Then, what's wrong, Jimin? Talk to me, I'm here for you when you need me!"
"Can't you see? I-I'm weak! Incapable of protecting myself! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WHEN YOU LEAVE ME?!" Jimin began to cry loudly and continued to stare out of the windows far beyond his reach while his hands held onto Jungkook's in return. "I'm not strong... I'm not strong enough to protect myself... I wasn't strong before and I'm still not strong! I'm so afraid... I'm afraid that I will get hurt again! I don't want to... I don't want to get... get hurt again, Jungkook!"
"Jimin, please listen to me..." Jungkook whispered. Despite not knowing a lot about the situation, he only wanted to soothe Jimin and not make him fear anything else at that very moment. Jungkook loosened his right hand from Jimin's grip, caressed his face and kissed his cheek carefully to get his attention. The moment Jimin looked at him on his own without force or any way Jungkook pointed his head towards his, Jimin looked at the young man in endless tears that would scare anyone, but not Jungkook. Jungkook was brave when he knew Jimin wasn't.
"Jungkook..."
"I won't leave you... even when I choose to leave this job or not, I will still be here for you! Don't you ever say that I will leave you, don't tell me that. Jimin, you're a strong person... In fact, you're the strongest person I know! To be able to hold it all together when you have so much work to do and fight to make time to see me, you're so strong... so amazing and perfect in my eyes! So what if you're physically weak? All that matters is that you're strong in that beautiful mind of yours despite all the work you've been put under," Jungkook stated. Holding Jimin's hand while the other caressed the side of his face into the gentle words he graced Jimin with. Comforting him and making him feel less alone in his problems.
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"Jungkook... you're saying this now, but what if you leave me?! How will I protect myself then?"
"Don't say that, Jimin. If you're not strong enough to protect yourself, I will. I will always protect you, Jimin. I won't leave you! I'll protect you until you are strong enough..." Jungkook assured and leaned in to hug Jimin in his arms. "This goes for... anything you want to be protected from... if you don't want to talk about anything else, I respect that. I will wait for your words. Just know that I want to be here for you."
"Don't say that..." Jimin whispered and cried as his hands wrapped around Jungkook's body now. "Don't say that to me... you don't know how much I will disappoint you..."
"You won't disappoint me. There will never be a moment where I will be disappointed with you, Jimin. I care... I care about you... so much! Even if we aren't so close to knowing each other's secrets, I don't need to know them in order to care for you right now."
Jimin began to blush at that very moment, he wanted to distract himself from feeling anything towards Jungkook but it was difficult. It was difficult when he was given the comfort he desperately needed from his happiness, but no matter what, Jimin didn't want to let him in. "I wish I could trust you... but I can't and I don't..." Jimin thought in his head and continued to cry in Jungkook's arms. "I can't trust you. I never know if I ever will...
Jungkook only wished he could hear Jimin's thoughts but he always referred to Taehyung's words and showed Jimin he was patient. He hugged Jimin in his arms until he looked up and carefully began to dry his tears. In every way he tried to show Jimin his patience so Jimin could always look back and never say Jungkook wasn't patient at all when he truly was. The young man then began to smile; avoiding any tears that threatened to fall from Jimin's words in order to be the rock Jimin could rely on in a second he was vulnerable.
The helpless man looked through his tears to see Jungkook's warm smile and closed his eyes to the feeling of Jungkook drying his tears. The two were silent now and this only left Jimin to dwell on the fact that he opened up too much to the young man and only began to beat himself up on the inside for it. Fearing that in a matter of time, he too would become very weak for Jungkook to easily take advantage of. Surely, Jimin didn't want to think like that, but after the endless years of being so weak, he had no other choice but to rely on those thoughts as a way of survival in his own life. Of course, he wasn't so strong before and isn't strong now in order to protect himself.
"Don't hurt me. Please don't take advantage of me like he did... please... I hope I didn't open up too much, I can't handle it if you hurt me too," Jimin rambled on in his mind and continued to cry despite Jungkook drying his tears. "I said too much..."
"Jimin," Jungkook whispered softly and kissed his forehead. "I'll be strong for you..." the young man concluded. Within seconds, Jimin opened his glistening eyes and locked them onto Jungkook's gaze.
In a minute where Jimin didn't want this conversation to go on any further and longed to avoid the warm feeling building up within himself where his heart pounded at the feeling of Jungkook's words and comfort, Jimin hoped to knock it all down. He has been through this before and was so afraid of giving into the same feeling again, he wanted to avoid it. So, he moved his head up to Jungkook's until they began to kiss over the bed. Kissing was a way Jimin wanted to escape further conversation. Even if he was physically weak, Jimin believed if he opened up to Jungkook more, he would become more emotionally vulnerable than he already was.
"I can't... I can't risk loving you or having you discover too much and leave me out of fear or harm me out of malice from the things you will learn about me. I'm so scared of the possibilities. I can't live through that again... I will die if I see you turn to either of those options," Jimin said into the endless void of his mind while Jungkook kissed him so tenderly. Feeling his tears press onto his own skin in a moment of vulnerability Jimin hoped to stray further from.
Jungkook then pulled away from the kiss and looked down at Jimin, smiling and drying more tears as it raced down his face continuously. The young man's eyes were filled with love blossoming through his own pupils at the sight of Jimin. This was the first moment Jungkook began to love Jimin and it was only when he knew his imperfections. Jungkook wanted to love every part of the weak man, including his imperfections and with the way Jimin opened up to him, that was enough for Jungkook to show his love for the one he deemed as his friend for now. Just before he only liked Jimin and adored his perfections, now, he loved him and adored his imperfections too.
"Jimin, don't cry..." Jungkook whispered and kept his hand caressing Jimin's face until it ran up and rolled his hair back. "I'll protect you."
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