'it's cold and quiet.'

'nobody's here and i'm alone with myself'

'i kinda hate this feeling'

'the feeling when i'm alone'

'the feeling when there's no one to lean on'

'when i realize there's no one to cry to'

'when there's no one to tell how i truly feel'

'i hate it.....the most'

'but'

'i got this feeling because of my own fault'

'my own stupid fault'

*Kenji POV*

After i got that nightmare i can't go to sleep anymore. i decide to go for a walk around my neighborhood. while i casually walking i wonder to myself 'why did my nightmare come now? it's been a long time since i got my nightmare. what cause it to come again?' while i wandering around my neighborhood i decide to give him a visit.

i arrive at his house around 6:00 and knock on his door. he open it around a minute later.

???: "oh, kenji. come in."

i head inside his house and sit on the couch.

kenji: "takahashi-san"

takahashi: "say kenji, you got your nighmare again didn't you?"

takahashi-san is my dad close friend. i always pay him a visit when i got my nightmares or to use his old studio. he has a music studio that he didn't use anymore and no one can't hear me singing here. so i like to come here to ease my mind a little.

Takahashi-san is a man in his early 30s and work at a convenience store.

He has a wavy brown hair and brown eyes.

kenji: "yes, i did."

haru: "i see, did you do anything wrong recently?"

kenji: "i... don't think so. i haven't done anything wrong, i only do what i do in my daily life. so i think it came again because i haven't made any progress."

haru: "so you realized, then why didn't you made any. still afraid, are you going to spend the rest of your life with fuutaro who only know how to study in his free time?"

kenji: "yes, i'm still afraid and all. but i don't want to spend the rest of my life alone either. But, when i try to talk or interact with other people my guilt is always behind me. haunting and telling me not to. i'm afraid somehow but i try to talk and i always end the conversation first. it always happen no matter who i talk to."

haru: "i understand, for now don't talk to people or your nightmares will be worse and .... have you eat breakfast?"

kenji: "i understand and no i haven't eat breakfast."

haru: "then let me make you breakfast."

and with that he got up and about to go to the kitchen but i stop him.

kenji: "takahashi-san would you mind if i use your studio for a little bit?"

haru: "at this kind of hour? you sure are kei son. go ahead but don't play too loud."

and with that i go to his basement and grab a guitar which i always use when i come here. he also has a bass, keyboard and drum but no one use them anymore. he said this was his old bandmates instruments but they didn't do music anymore. this was they're old studio, that's kinda sad though. but he never tell me why they didn't do music anymore but that is his problem and i don't want to meddle in.

i tune the guitar and test it, it was perfect and with i start singing while playing the guitar.

________________________________________________________________________

just after i finish singing a couple more songs, takahashi-san call me saying breakfast is ready. i put the guitar back at it's own place and go to the kitchen to eat breakfast. i sit at one of the chair, it was a simple fried rice with a egg on top. i start eating and finish around a minute or two. i got up and go to the front about to go home because it's almost 7:30 am but takahashi-san stop me.

haru: "kenji, going back already?" i nodded "why didn't you just skip school today and follow me smowhere."

what should i do? i relly want to go with takahashi-san but midterm is near and people might start- oh yeah i'm not that kenji who has a lot of people worrying about him anymore. i'm the kenji that no one cares about, who everyone doesn't even talk to. that's the kenji i am. i made my choice.

kenji: "yea sure, but let me change and tell my mom first."

haru: "then meet me here at 8:30 sounds good to you?"

kenji: "hmm, that sounds good to me."

haru: "see you at then kenji."

kenji: "mm, see you."

and with that i left his house and go back home. i got change and tell my mom that i won't be attending school today.

ai: "are you about to go out with takahashi again?"

kenji: "you know me well mom, and i think you already know the reason."

ai: "of course, you're my son. it came again didn't it? i heard you going out at 5:30 in the morning."

kenji: "it did and don't tell kaguya or she will panic and told me to do things that she find online again."

ai: " *chuckles* i got it, i will not tell kaguya about it. and one more thing kenji."

kenji: " what is it mom?"

ai: "please be safe, kenji. i don't want to lose you again."

kenji: "i know mom, and i will try my best to face my fear and nightmares."

i go to her and give her a hug.

kenji: "i'm going out now."

ai: "stay safe."

kenji: "i will mom."

and with that i leave the house and head to takahashi-san house.

*Haru POV*

Kenji, i promise your dad to keep you safe no matter what happen to you. if it's physically i will help you and treated you. if it's mentally i will guide you and teach you things you didn't know. but right know we're facing both physically and mentally. i need to teach you how to be true to your own feeling and let go of the past. And i also need to teach you how to face people and make somes new friends. that's my biggest responsibility right now. kei, why did you choose me for this job.

flashback 10 years ago

" I ask with a confusing look.

kei: "i knew i could count on you, haru."

haru: "always."

kei: "what about we head home right now, you staying for dinner right?"

haru: "yes i will be staying at your house for dinner."

kei: "good the kids still want to play with you."

haru: "how do you know?"

kei: "i just happen to."

haru: "dumbass."

Kenji arrive before 8:30 which is good because I'm too lazy to wait anyways.

We go to a train station to get to our destination. We buy the tickets and wait for the train to come.

*Kenji POV*

We go to the train station and buy the tickets. While waiting for the train I ask takahashi-san where are we going. But he doesn't answer my question. I guess it's another surprise of his. The train arrive a minute later, we take a sit and since it's not weekend there's not too many people on the train so getting a sit is very easy. It was a long silence until I decide to break it.

Kenji: "say, takahashi-san you never talk about your band and what you play didn't you? why didn't you tell me now since we have nothing to talk about."

Haru: "I play the keyboard and my band mates look for a more realistic job that's why we disband our group and never meet again."

That's a harsh answer, but oh well that's just how takahashi-san is.

Kenji: "I see. I have one more question."

Haru: "what is it?"

Kenji: "does my dad play in your band?"

Haru: "no he doesn't, if you wanna know how I met your dad I met him in highschool. We were place in the same class. We got partner up on a project and that relationship last till now."

Well another straight forward answer from takahashi-san. I don't know how my dad even become friends with him. But if my dad didn't become friends with him I would probably still be in the darkness so I'm grateful for that. But he seem like he doesn't like talking about his band mates, I wonder why though. Maybe because he got into a fight with his band mates who knows. But I wanna hear takahashi-san play the keyboard, it must be nice.

We arrive at our destination 10 minute after I talk with takahashi-san. It was rather an old train station. To be honest, it does look a little scary. Some part of it is still made out of wood and the fan is really dusty. I going to ask takahashi-san where we are. He might try to sell me or something like that but I know he wouldn't do things like that. Is he?

Kenji: "ummm takahashi-san, where are we?"

Haru: "we're in a small village in this city."

Kenji: "but why are we here?"

Haru: "to ease your mind, Of course. There's not too many people around here. Only people is from here or know someone from this place know about this village."

Kenji: "Oh I see."

Haru: "follow me kenji."

We took a 10 minute walk from the train station we reach our destination.

Haru: "we're here."

It was an old abandoned looking plaza. It's very small to even call it a plaza. It has some shops, restaurant and a big stage.

Kenji: "where are we takahashi-san?"

Haru: "isn't it obvious. We're at a abandoned plaza."

Kenji: "but what are we doing here?"

Haru: "I'm going to sell you to the black market. I can't have a depressed 17 year old boy knocking at my door at 6:00 am in the morning every day."

Kenji: "eh?"

This is it. My life end here, thanks mom for making happy. Thanks dad for giving me souvenir from overseas every year. Thanks kaguya for everything you done for me.

Haru: "I'm joking, you're going to do something here."

Kenji: "what is it?"

Haru: "sing."

Kenji: "what do you mean by that?"

Haru: "singing is your dream right? Then chase it. Your still young and have a lot more to learn. Don't let your past stop you."

Kenji: "takahashi-san..." I can feel a couple tears falling down my face but I wipe it immediately.

Haru: "what are you waiting for? Go and show your talent to me." He said with a warming smile.

He's right actually. I never sing infront of him nor did he come in the studio when I'm using it. Well then, he is the first one to hear me sing.

Kenji: "ok then, I sing for you."

_________________________________________________

After I finish singing I look at takahashi-san, he was amazed in his own way. Even though he keep his emotionless expression I know he's still amazed.

He came and pat my shoulder.

Haru: "kenji, singing is your dream right?"

Kenji: "yea..."

Haru: "Then chase it. You're still young to give up. With that amazing voice and talent you had you can become a singer."

Kenji: "but i don't really know anymore."

Haru: "if you don't want to do it for me, then do it for her. You promise her, didn't you?"

Why did you bring that up takahashi-san, why. Why did you need to bring her up.

Kenji: "I did promised her. But it doesn't matter anymore. At least that's what I think."

Haru: "I understand that you still love her. But I don't think that's what she want."

Kenji: "what do you mean by that?"

Haru: "imagine that she is still here, does you think she want to see you all sad and alone like this. You couldn't keep your promise or even try to keep it. Grow up kenji, the past is in the past. But right now you're not in the past anymore, you need to stop remembering the past and start focus on the future."

Maybe he's right. Maybe I am too focus with the past, it's been three years since that event. Maya only if you were still here I would not be like this.

Kenji: "maybe you're right about that takahashi-san. About I'm still in the past but I think being like this is for the best. The best for me and for everyone."

He remove his hand from my shoulder and start giving me a serious look.

Haru: "I understand kenji. I understand that you need to move on by yourself. This is my advice for you, find a reason kenji."

Kenji: "a reason?"

Haru: "everything that you do in your daily life has a reason behind it. So find a reason for you to move on to the future and leave the alone. If you can't find a reason, find someone. Find someone that can change you for the better."

Kenji: "I understand takahashi-san. But it's already two years and I still can't move on. I don't think I can't forget her so easily. It hurt everytime I think of her, it hurt very much. But I need to put on a brave face for my family. If I didn't mom would be upset and depressed all the time. Kaguya would stop being cheerful and may be even worse than me right now. So that's why I keep it all to myself."

Haru: "well then, if you can't find it now find it tomorrow. If you can't find tomorrow find it the day after tomorrow. There's a always a chance kenji. You just have to look for it."

Without saying a word I go to him and hug him tight.

Kenji: "thank you takahashi-san for not giving up on me. Thank you very much." I'm in a verge of crying but I try my best to hold it.

Haru: "it's the only thing I can do for you. Let's head back shall we?"

Kenji: "yeah let's head back."

Haru: "kenji one more thing."

Kenji: "what is it?"

Haru: "smile kenji. Smile."

Kenji: "I have no more reason to smile takahashi-san."

Haru: "right now you do have a reason. But it's only for now."

Kenji: "what is the reason?"

Haru: "thanked me with your smile and not your words."

Kenji: "I got it."

And with that I smile.