(read a/n)

: 'ne kenji, if you lose you need to buy me the new chapter of attack on titan manga deal?' said while cracking his fingers.

kenji: 'but if i win i want you to buy me two tuna onigiri at the convenience store.' kenji said while he ready himself

:'Deal.' said while he position himself to arm wrestle with kenji.

'3'

'2'

'1'

kenji and : 'go' they both said at the same time. And so, the arm wrestle between kenji and izumi begin. The winner of the arm wrestle is izumi. As promised, kenji have to buy him the new chapter of attack on titan manga.

: 'hah I win, take that kenji. Now as promised you need to buy me the new chapter. A man don't break their promise, kenji.'

kenji:'but one chapter of that manga cost so much money. With that much money i can buy three onigiri from the convenience store.'

: 'you and your onigiri. Fine, how about I buy you one onigiri and you need to buy me one attack on titan manga, how about that!' he said while pointing his fingers at his best friend.

Kenji: 'ugh fine. But I'm getting you back for this' he said while he start packing.

: 'and what do you want me buy? Ten tuna onigiri. Pfft please, it's not like you have an obsession to something.'

kenji: 'oh I do have an obsession.'

: 'what is it. Music? It's not like you have a favorite singer or something.'

Kenji: 'shut up! Let's just go and buy your stupid manga.'

: 'and then stop at the convenience store to buy your onigiri and my ice cream right?'

Kenji: 'right.'

: 'and then we can go to our normal spot right?'

Kenji: 'yes whatever you want I guess. Since you win.'

________________

(At kenji and izumi "usual spot")

: 'can I say something to you kenji.' izumi said while taking a bite of his ice cream.

Kenji: 'sure what is it?' kenji said while opening his onigiri.

: 'if I die someday in the future. Don't be upset 'bout it okay? Because crying over something that's already gone is no use. It's not like they will come back from the death.'

Kenji: 'why are you suddenly telling me something like this.' kenji asked with curiosity.

: 'because we are human kenji. Human can die any day, anytime and anywhere. Who knows tomorrow is my final day. Maybe this is the last time I get to hang out with you." Said while licking his ice cream.

Kenji: 'I know that but you know we're still young. There's so much more that we haven't discover yet. So don't go dying on me like that, ok? Promise me.' kenji said to with his fist in the air ready to fist bump his friend.

: 'i can't promise you but I will try. So for the time being, Promise!' he said fist bumping his friend.

Kenji: 'let's go home . Your mom is going to be mad if we go home late.' he said while standing up.

'you're right. I don't want to be punished by not having dinner.' he said while both of them laugh afterwards.

"Looks like I already break our promise Even I though I promised to not be sad about your death but I still not over your death even after 3 year's later. It feel like everyone I love is slowly drifting away from me. Every single one of them."

"Ne, oba chan. Am I a good boy? Or am I a failure? Even I myself didn't know. *Sobs* day by day I keep missing you guys, everywhere I go there's a memory that came back to me. Memories of us. Only if this world is a little nicer to me. Why did death take you guys first? Why did fate let me suffer like this? Why, why why why. Nande? Only if I died with you guys maybe we could live a happy life in the afterlife. That's my current dream... I guess."

I woke up at 7:00 today. A little late than usual but that's okay. I got up, make my way to the bathroom and take a shower. I got dressed and went to the kitchen to eat breakfast. Today breakfast is miso soup, rice and eggs. Just a typical Japanese breakfast. After I finished breakfast I do the dishes and say goodbye to my mom because I'm going to school.

It was currently 8:00 am in the morning. On my way to school I suddenly bump into a red hair girl that I recognized.

Red hair girl: "ouch"

Kenji: "Sorry, are you okay" I said while handling her my hand.

Red hair girl: "yeah, I'm okay" she said while grabbing my hand.

Red hair girl: "wait, you seem familiar? Oh! You are that boy from the cafeteria" she said while pointing her fingers at me.

Kenji: "yes indeed I am. I'm kenji, Kenji Shizuki"

Itsuki: "I'm itsuki nakano nice to meet you!" She said while while handing out her hand for me to shake it.

Kenji: "Nice to meet you too, nakano san" I said while shaking her hand.

Kenji: "can i ask you something nakano san"

Itsuki: "what is it Shizuki kun"

Kenji: "are you one of miku nakano sisters?"

Itsuki: "so you already know miku. How do you guys meet?"

Kenji: "she's my classmates. Come on we're gonna be late for school if we gonna keep talking"

Itsuki: "your right. Can I walk with you to school Shizuki kun?"

Kenji: "sure"

We start walking to school together. On our way to school we chat a bit. We chat about itsuki daily life and about his tutor. Apparently her tutor is fuutaro. Yup fuutaro. It's unexpected but she said the payment is high. Which I see why fuutaro did accept the job. His family been struggling with debt after all.

We arrive at our school and start waving each other goodbye.

Itsuki: "see you later Shizuki kun!"

Kenji: "you too nakano san"

Itsuki: "since you already know one of my sister's you can just call me itsuki"

Kenji: "itsuki san then?"

Itsuki: "you can call me without honorific too"

Kenji: "itsuki then?" When I said that she nodded at my answer. We bid each other farewell and went to our class.

When I enter my class there's around 8-9 people already. Ugh I wish there was only 2-3 people. I went to my seat and hang my bag beside the table. After a few more minutes more students arrive. One of them was miku san. She was about to greet me but before she can the teacher came.

*Kenji POV*

The bells ring meaning it's already lunch break. I got up from my sit and head to the cafeteria. On my way to the cafeteria I bump into itsuki again.

Itsuki: "Shizuki kun are you heading to the cafeteria too?" She ask me and I nod at her question.

Itsuki: "then why don't we go together" she said while smiling. I don't really know if I should take her offer. But takahashi-san said to talk to people as much as I could. I will accept it.

Kenji: "sure, I don't mind. Shall we go then itsuki?" When I ask her that she nodded at my question. And so we start making our way to the cafeteria.

On our way to the cafeteria it was completely silence. No one talk or try to talks. We eventually arrive at the cafeteria.

Kenji: "well here we are. See you later itsuki" I said while waving to her.

Itsuki: "mmm, see you later Shizuki kun" she waves me back. We parted ways. She goes to buy something to eat while I go to the vending machine.

After I'm done buying my drink I go to order something from the cafeteria. I order a cutlet curry set. After I'm done buying my lunch I made my way to the table I usually sit with fuutaro. When I arrive at my spot I see fuutaro eating his barbeque set without the beef. Still the old him huh?

Kenji: "yo fuutaro, long time no see" I said while sitting.

Fuutaro: "kenji kun, it's been a while" he said. It's only been a couple days fuutaro.

Kenji: "so how's your life going" I said while preparing to eat.

Fuutaro: "my life is not okay for now" he said while looking down at his food. Honestly fuutaro you shouldn't pick fight with itsuki that time if things are going to be like this.

Kenji: "I heard that you start tutoring" I said to him while taking a bite of my food.

Fuutaro: "yeah, I started tutoring the nakano sisters. Remember the girl i argue with that day because of a table, she's one of them. She's also in my class" well fuutaro that's karma.

Kenji: "I already know. Itsuki just told me this morning" after I said that to him he seem surprised.

Fuutaro: "wait! Your friend with itsuki! Then could you help me. I need you to convince her to attend my tutoring session" he look desperate when he said that. I guess his relationship with itsuki really is bad right now.

Kenji: "why can't you do it yourself fuutaro" even though I already know the answer I really wanna know his expression when he said his answer.

Fuutaro: "remember when I argue with her. When I argue with her I have said something I shouldn't said. And right now she and her sisters keep calling me a creep. Only one of them attend my tutoring session but she look like she doesn't have a brain cell" wow just wow I didn't know you were this type of person when you are stressed fuutaro.

Kenji: "can I know all of them. The girl you tutoring"

Fuutaro: "sure, I'm tutoring quintuplets so there's five of them. The first one is Ichika, the second one is Nino, the third one is miku, the fourth one is Yotsuba and the fifth one is itsuki. I'm having a hard time with nino and itsuki lately"

Kenji: "I see, maybe I can help you after all. You see one of them is my classmates"

Fuutaro: "really who?!"

Kenji: "miku, she sit beside me"

Fuutaro: "oh miku, I already got her to join my tutoring session but I can't tell you the reason. She told me not to"

Kenji: "what about Ichika fuutaro, do you in good terms with her?"

Fuutaro: "she's just lazy I guess. Her room was a mess but I guess she's in good terms with me" it's amazing how you can enter a girl's room fuutaro.

Kenji: "well then that can't be help." I said that to him. Oh I forgot to tell you guys. We were eating lunch while having this conversation. I already finished mine.

Kenji: "well then I'm off fuutaro. I'll do what I can I guess" I said while standing up.

Fuutaro: "please do. If not their father will not pay me" seriously fuutaro you are making it hard for me to decline.

I leave fuutaro alone and went back to my classroom. When I arrive there was nobody there. Well time to take a nap I guess.

I just finished eating lunch with my sisters and now I'm heading back to my classroom. When I arrive at my classroom I noticed someone sleeping. Someone familiar. It was Shizuki san. Shizuki san is sleeping right now. I don't why but watching he sleep makes me happy somehow. He looks very calm when he's sleeping. He looks like the most innocent boy. After all he has been through a lot already. He loses someone he loves and hold dear. I could never be as strong as you, Kenji Shizuki.

Class already over and I'm about to head home. When I'm packing my back I see Shizuki san about to go already. So I call out to him.

Miku: "Shizuki san wait" I said while picking up my bag.

Kenji: "what is it miku?" he said while looking at me.

Miku: "can I walk home with you?" Why am I asking something like this?

Kenji: "Sure, I don't mind" I'm glad he accept my offer.

Miku: "let's go" well I'll text my sister's that I'm going home with a friend.

Kenji: "ok"

We exit our classroom and begin to make to our way out of school. On our walk from the classroom and the school gate it was pure silence. No one try to talk. Maybe I should make a conversation with him since I'm the one that ask him to walk with me. We're At the school gate when I'm about to start a conversation but before I can Shizuki san start talking.

Kenji: "so what is it that you want to ask me miku?" He ask me without even looking at me.

Miku: "eh? I have nothing to ask you I just want to walk with you that's all" how did he know I want to ask him questions.

Kenji: "don't lie anymore, I can see it in your eyes that your lying" wow this boy really is something else.

Miku: "well then, shall we go to a more suitable place for talking"

Kenji: "I know a cafe nearby, follow me" he begin leading the way.

10 minute later we arrive at the cafe.

Kenji: "so what is it that you want to ask me, miku"

Miku: "it's nothing important but I'm curious Shizuki san"

Kenji: "what are you curious about?" He said while raising his eye brows.

Miku: "you" finally I said it to him.

Kenji: "why are you curious about me? And one more thing, what did you find interesting about me. I never see you talking to another boy in our class"

Miku: "I wanna know Shizuki san-" as I was about to finish my sentence Shizuki san interrupt me.

Kenji: "kenji. Call me kenji" did he just told me to call me by his name. I'm even more curious right now.

Miku: "so kenji kun, I'm actually curious. Why did you afraid to socialize with other people. You always talk with people and never stutter when talking with random people. When you're talking with someone you like to keep it short for some reason. So what are you so afraid of kenji kun?"

It takes him at least a minute to answer that question.

Kenji: "the answer to your question is quite easy actually, the answer is I'm afraid that I will stay too attached to that person. I always keep it short because I don't want that person to stay with me for too long. I always make up excuses to go away and I haven't make a conversation twice with the same person in highschool"

He is afraid? Why is he afraid. Now I'm not sure if I'm understand it or not but I guess it's because he already loses many people he loves.

Miku: "I see, then would you mind kenji kun?"

Kenji: "hmm?" He ask with curiosity.

Miku: "would you mind if I be the one that help you to socialize again?"

Huh? I'm confused. Did she just said that she will help me. After their deaths I've been alone. I've been avoiding others but now this one girl named Miku Nakano say that she will help me. Is this why you told me to socialize again takahashi-san. Then the only answer I shall give miku is-

Kenji: "sure" he said while he also give me a small smile. Did he just smile at me?

I smile back at him. It's the only way I can help him at this moment. Now let me help you with your nightmares. Let me help you with your anxiety. Let me help you with everything. starting now, This is our story.

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Shintooru out!