"Three words Em...Kitty Cat Club," Beck smirks at her and her head instantly drops to her hands.

My last day here. I was leaving in less than twenty four hours. Everyone had come over for a little goodbye party, just us and our families, it was nice to all be together again, the last time wasn't nearly as happy.

While everyone seems to be smiling, there's still that underlying sense of sadness, I think that just become normal. I was happy to see Jordan's parents though. They looked tired, like they haven't been sleeping much, and I'm sure they haven't, but nonetheless they still had smiles on their faces as I hugged them. Genuine smiles too.

We had begun to tell embarrassing stories of eachother, when Em piped up, saying that she really didn't do anything embarrassing when she was younger.

Oh was she very wrong.

"Oh my god no we are not talking about that!" Emma laughs as Ty and Wes just smirk at her

"I definitely think we should," Arrex snorts

"Okay-okay before you tell those two this very very embarrassing story," Em glares at the boys "Let me just give a little backstory-I was eleven and I loved cats,"

"Okay?" Lexi grins

"So little eleven year old cat-loving Emma, was scrolling through her TV guide, looking for something to watch, when after a few minutes of scrolling she found a tv show named Kitty Cat Corner," I start to tell Amy and Lexi the story

"Oh my god," Em shakes her head

"So, without even thinking, she clicks on it," I continue "But then it took her to the screen that says you have to rent or buy it, so without hesitation, she clicked buy."

"Why do I feel like it's some sort of porno?" Lexi snorts and we all start to laugh

"OH my god it was a porno!" Amy takes our laughter as the hint as both her and Lexi join in, laughing at Emma's expense.

"The opening scene, was a woman spread eagle," Em states as I start to snort "I have never screamed so loud and run so fast out of the room,"

"And then-then she tried to delete it, before her parents could see," Arrex continued the second part of the story through his laughter "and she ended up buying a subscription to the whole channel,"

"Oh my god Em!"

"Yeah that wasn't a fun discussion to have with my parents," Em shakes her head "Mom!" She calls out to the kictchen "Mom!"

"Yes?" Her mom walks in a grin on her face

"Remember when I bought the year long subscription to that one porn channel?"

"The one I got charged eighty bucks for? Yes, yes I do," her mom laughs "She started crying and had a whole meltdown, it took my everything to not start laughing,"

"That's amazing," Amy laughs

"Yeah it was," Beck nods "What other embarrassing stories do we have?"

"When Bails was eating slugs off the rocks out front because she thought they were jellybeans," Ace snorts

Not one of my proudest moments.

"Okay I was like six!" I try to defend myself

"She was so proud too," Co teases me "I'm not kidding the boys and I walked outside and asked her what she was doing and very proudly she was like 'I'm eating jellybeans!' While holding one up to show us,"

"Know what was even worse?" Arrex questions directing his smirk at my twin "Beck started eating them with her!"

"I hate all of you," Beck and I say at the same "Literally y'all are the worst," we go again

"The twintuition," Co smiles at us "Still creepy as shit,"

I just shrug with a grin. He loved us, no matter how creepy we were.

"Remember when Jordan ate sand when we were younger," Wes smiles to himself as the laughter dies down

"Was it for a dare?" Lexi questions

"Nope," Co shakes his head now chuckling at the memory "He wasn't super sharp when we were kids,"

"He was lovable though," Em nods, smiling at the thought of our best friend.

We all went quiet again at the mention of our best friend. It's almost been almost a month. One whole month without him.

"I miss him," Lexi says, quietly

I know she's been hurting. Her sister had been keeping her busy, but even Kelsey will say stuff about Julia and it'll put Lex through it all over again.

"Me too," I nod.

"He'd be happy to see us happy," Ty says "to see us laughing,"

"He would," Amy nods. He was always one to brighten the mood. If he felt the mood was too serious, him and Ty and even Wes would do their best to find a way to brighten the mood.

"Remember that one day when literally everyone was fighting?" Em questions out of the quiet

"You might have to be more specific than that," Ace grins. When we were little it was a lot more frequent than post middle school.

"No I know what day she's talking about," the smirk grows with recognition on Co's face "It was freshman year,"

"Yes!" Em nods "There like four different fights going on that day, Ace and Beck were arguing over the Xbox,"

"Yeah and you and Arrex were pissed off at eachother," Co adds "Because he embarrassed you in front of the dance team,"

"I swore I'd never talk to you again that day," Em fights off a grin as my brother sends her a flirty wink that makes me wanna throw up in my mouth.

"and Bails was mad at Co because you were just being a dickhead," My older brother grins , now looking at Co

"Oh yeah! And then T and Wes started arguing!" I remember that day. Jordan was stuck in the middle of all of us.

"Wait! You two were fighting?" Amy looks at dumb and dumber who just smile proudly at her. "Damn," she snorts

"It was over a girl," Ty rolls his eyes,

"and the last time we ever fought," Wes finishes his sentence

"But Jordan, he yelled at literally every single one of us," Emma grinned "He told all of us we were being stupid. He made A apologize for embarrassing me, me apologize for being a bitch, Co apologize for being a dick, Bails apologize for being dramatic, and those two apologize to eachother for letting a girl get in the way of their friendship,"

"He was always the therapist of our group," Ace smiles

"I wish he was here," I say. There was still one last thing I needed to do tonight after everyone left.

"Guys I'm telling you, I'm convinced he's haunting me," Ty chimes after a moment of somber silence had washed over us.

Of course he'd think that.

We spent the rest of the night with our families, just bing together and in the moment. We weren't worrying about what happened, we were worrying about what's going to happen, for once this month we were just us.

Everyone stayed until about nine-ish. That when little by little everyone started to trickle out, each and every one of them saying their goodbyes until it was just my friends left.

"We should go," Lexi says, standing up. He little sister had fallen asleep aside Bex and Max on the couch.

"I'll walk you guys out," I stand up just as she picks her sleeping sister up and we both walk out to her car.

"I just want to say thank you," she smiles with tears in her eyes after gently setting Kelsey in the back seat

"You don't have to thank me," I shake my head "We had a rough start," I say and she laughs "But you have become one of my sisters,"

"You too," she nods "ah god I never cry," she huffs wiping her tears

"Me too," I wipe my own "It seems like it's all I've done the last month,"

"Yeah," she nods "Please be safe in California,"

"I will, I promise," I grin "I'm still always a call away to talk okay?"

"Oh don't say that, I'll be calling you once a day," she snorts and I smile

"That's perfectly fine," I know she needed someone to talk to.

Without another word she pulls me into a hug. "Thank you for letting me apart of you guys,"

"Thank you for being the one for him,"

She just smiles through the small tears on her face before getting in her car "We'll talk tomorrow?"

"Yeah," I nod and she pulls out.

One friend down. Six more to go.

Not long after Lexi left, Amy stood up along with Wes and Ty.

"We should probably go too,"

"Okay," I nod, again following them out. Amy was the first one I turned to, to say goodbye first.

She just smiles at me and shakes her head.

"Don't cry, if you cry I'm going to cry, and if we both cry then we'll be messed," she grins with watery eyes before pulling me into a hug "Thank you for being one of my best friends,"

"I love you," I wipe a tear as we release eachother

"I love you too, tomboy freak," she laughs and so do I going back to Biancas lame ass names for us the first day we met.

"Always, Awkward freak," I grin

"Call me when you get there and settled. We can talk every week, Lex, Em and I can keep you up to date on everything here and you can tell us abou California okay?"

"Deal," I nod "I'll talk to you soon,"

"I might just fly out there if you don't," she grins before drinking all the way down into her car and waving goodbye before driving away. With that, I turn around to face the two pouting teddy-bears.

"We don't want you to leave," Ty says. I can count on one hand the amount of times I've seen his eyes as sad as they were right now.

"But we know it's best for you," Wes follows up. His eyes were equally as sad, he was trying to be supportive though.

"Oh come here," I smile as I hug both of them "I love you guys,"

"We love you too B," they say at the same time, squeezing me one last time before letting me go.

"I expect a call once you're settled in," Wes grins

"Especially if you got a hot new roommate," Ty smirks

"Oh my god T," I just laugh at him. Typical. "Well you ever get an actual relationship?"

"C'mon B, you know I'm terrified of commitment," he joked but everyone knew it was true

"I hate you," Wes shakes his head at his best friend but I don't miss the smile that was there

"No you don't bitch, you farted on me there's no going back," Tyler states rather indignantly earning a snort from me

"God I'm going to miss you guys,"

"We'll miss you too Bails," Wes smiles "Be safe okay? And call if you need anything, I'm serious we'll fly out there in a heartbeat,"

"You just wanna go out to see hot California girls," I grin

"No," "partly yes," him and Ty both day at the same time

"Okay partially yes but mainly for you," Wes smiles at my smile "And don't be stupid okay?"

"I won't," I shake my head. I wasn't planning on it.

"Don't listen to him, you be as stupid as you want," Ty shakes his head.

Fuck I love these two.

"Okay we gotta go," Wes glances down at his phone as it dings.

"Okay," I nod "I love you boys,"

"I love you too," the state again at the same time before just about suffocating me in one last hug.

My heart hurt as I watched them pull away. Wes sticking his hand out the window waving while beeping the horn and Ty hanging halfway out the window yelling to me as they drove all the way down the street.

I didn't think it would hurt this bad saying goodbye to everyone but it does and I really don't like it.

The night went on and all of us started to get tired. I know both Em and Co were trying to hold out for as long as they could but they both knew I had one more place to go tonight, so around ten thirty Em stood up.

"I should go, I know you got more to do tonight," Em smiles sadly at me

"Yeah," I nod, a frown on my face. I didn't want her to go.

we walked in silence and stayed that way until we got outside to the front porch, then the water worlds started.

"So this is it," em nods with tears in her eyes, she was fighting them from falling

"There's not gonna be an 'it' for us Em," I grin feeling. Tears in my own eyes, "We'll be okay,"

"I know, it's just going to hard not seeing you everyday," she says "Sevebteen years we've been together,"

"Holy shit it really has been that long," I grin "it's been us six our whole lives, I don't plan on leaving you alone just yet,"

"I don't want you to," the tears begin to spill over as she pulls you into a hug.

Her and I have been through everything together. Heartbreaks, our family issues-her dad and my mom-, being apart, being together. She's my sister and she will be forever, no matter how far we are.

"I love you so so much Bailey, and I'm so beyond proud of you," she smiles down at me, pulling away slightly from our hug.

"I love you too Em," I grin "Fuck I don't know how I'm gonna live without you being five minutes away,"

"Same," she snorts "We'll make it work,"

"We will," I offer a sad smile "We always do,"

We were both quiet for a minute before she spoke again.

"You are going to say goodbye to him before you leave right?"

"I'm going to the cemetery right after Co leaves," I nod already knowing who she was talking about. I had to say goodbye to Jordy.

"Good, he'd probably attach himself to you if you didn't," she grins

"I'd wake up to that stupid ass music of his playing very morning," i can't help but laugh, if he were to ever haunt me, that's definitely without a doubt be something he'd do.

"And your clothes thrown everywhere," she adds

"Yep," I nod a ghost of a smile on our faces as we just looked at eachother.

This is the last night I'll be seeing her for a while. No more daily breakfasts, or dinners or night staying up until three a.m. laughing in my room. No more her teasing my dad for being old or Arrex for being an asshole or me for being annoying. I won't get to see any of that anymore.

"Can you do one thing ," I question

"Anything, you know that B,"

"Just take care of them, especially my brother," I know they were trying to be happy for me, but I've heard them talk about me moving when they though I wasn't awake or in the room. They were all sad, beyond sad. I never meant to hurt them, but that didn't deter the fact that in the end they were.

"I always will, even if we break up," she nods a small smile in her face as spots of pink appear on her cheeks. This bitch was really blushing over the thought of my brother right now.

"I love him,"

"I know you do," I smile. As much as I hate to say it, her and A were beyond cute.

"I have to go," she says after a beat of silence "Just be careful out there okay?"

"I always am," I nod

"And don't listen to Ty, whatever he said, it was probably along the lines of you making a bad decision,"

"It definitely was," I can't help but laugh. We all knew each other way too well.

"I love you em,"

"I love you too Bails,"

Within minutes she wa spilling away and driving down the street, leaving one more elft in my living room. He was already standing at the stairs tough, ready to go.

"Hey," he offers a sad smile as I walk back in.

"Hi,"

"So, are you going to see Jordan tonight?" He questions and I just nod

"Yeah," I was trying to stop myself from crying.

Out of everyone, leaving him was probably the hardest. I'm in love with this boy, and as much as I have to leave, there's that part of me, telling me to stay with him.

He's the one I knew I could tell anything. He's the one that is there for me in everything. He's the boy that no matter how much he pissed me off, made it up to me just by making me laugh. He could make me laugh anytime anywhere.

He was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

But I couldnt. He deserves more than an emotionally unavailable mess. He deserves more than someone who's not even present in her own life seventy-five percent of the time. He deserves more than a broken girl.

I put up a happy face, I made sure no one knew what I was really feeling, that everyday the sight of my best friends blood soaked body resting lifeless in my lap isn't flashing through my mind every ten minutes. I made it impossible for anyone to recognize that I barely sleep at night, that the only time I do is next to the boy who I'm leaving in less than twelve hours.

"Baby don't cry," he smiles softly as he pulls me to him "I'm right here,"

Yeah not for long though.

"I know," I nod "Im just going to miss you,"

"I'll miss you too," he kisses the top of my head as he hold me like he never wanted to let go.

I didn't want to break up with him.

"What does this mean for us?" I question against his chest

"I-I'm not sure," he says quietly "I love you,you know that right?"

There was never a doubt in my mind.

"I love you too Caleb,"

We just stood there, him holding me, me crying.

"We'll be okay Bailey," he whispers. But we wouldn't. We won't be the same after I leave.

"Okay," I nod despite the nagging thoughts in my head.

"I'm not saying goodbye to you until tomorrow," he says "We're together until then, okay? We have until tomorrow,"

"Okay," I nod into his chest. I was supposed to be happy, excited, but now I just wanted to cry.

"Eight a.m.?" He grins as I lift my head up to look at him

"Eight a.m.," I muster up a grin as my heart drops. I fucking hated feeling this way.

"I should go," he says

"Yeah," I whisper but fail to let him go.

"Princess that means you have to let me go," he smiles. I could still see the hurt in his eyes though, he was trying to stay happy for me no matter how bad he was feeling.

He was too good for me.

"I don't want to," I pout. I knew I had to. What I wouldn't give to sleep in his arms tonight, but I had to go see Jordan, and then finish packing, he needed to sleep.

He just smiles instead of pulling away from me, instead pulling me as close as I could be, and dipping his head so his lips can meet mine. He kissed me with nothing but passion and love. He kissed me like it was the last we'd ever have.

And it was.

"How about now?" He says, after we finally break apart.

"I guess," god that smile of his. It kills me every time.

"I'll see you tomorrow Princess , eight a.m.?" He grins just before he walks out the door

"Eight a.m., Coco," I nod. I couldn't help but smile at him.

For his sake not mine.

Nothing felt genuine anymore.

He flashes that damn smile one more time before stepping out of the door. Leaving me staring at the spot he once stood.

I don't know how long I stood there staring, wrapped up in my own thoughts. But the sound of my brothers voice was what tore me away from myself.

"Need a ride to the cemetery?" My twin questioned

"I gotta go alone," I turn to face him. He looked like a sad puppy who just go kicked in the stomach.

I got too caught up in saying goodbye to all of our friends I completely forgot about my brothers.

God I'm a bitch, how could I forget them?

"I still have a few hours Beck," I try to smile at him but he sees through me

"I know Bails," he nods "God it's gonna suck without you," he snorts but I see the glimmer of tears in his eyes

"It'll be okay," I say as I hug him "I love you asshole,"

"I love you too bitchface," he snorts as he lets me go after a few seconds "It's late, you should go,"

"Yeah," and that's exactly what I did. Yelling a quick goodbye to my family I drove to the one place I haven't been since his funeral, the one place I never wanted to face again since that day.