You looked up from your food, hearing out the conversations around you as you rested your hand on what had to be a slight belly, but with your dress a little sloppy you didn't saw much of your pregnant body. Halfdan sat aside you, laughing with something his brother said when you fell the first sting of pain and you breathed shaky out. You squeezed your eyes a little together, sitting up straight when another pain cramped your body. 'Y/n?' Halfdan reacted right away, fingers grabbing your elbow lightly, always touching you. 'What is going on?' He insisted when you grabbed for your belly. 'I don't know, it hurts.' You whispered between clenched teeth. When another pain hit your body you started to panic, looking aside to him. 'Get a healer!' Halfdan commanded somebody around the table. He helped you up, wrapping his arm around your body to help you out of the dining room to a more calmer place. As soon as the healer came, with a few slaves you knew what would happen. 'We need the room.' The healer urged Halfdan. 'I'm not going anywhere.' 'I'm fine Halfdan.' You whispered. He crouched down beside you, stroking your hair out of your face while studying your face. 'I'm fine.' You repeated. He breathed out, kissing your forehead before he left the healer with you alone. As soon as he walked out you felt panic hitting you right in the chest, knowing what would happen you looked over to the healer. 'I'm sorry Y/n.' She whispered before a new wave hit you and you knew for sure ... you would lose your baby.

The birth didn't took long, seeing a baby that was hardly a baby wrapped in pieces of fabrics did more to you then you emotionally were prepared for. You were so tired, falling asleep just a hour after seeing that image leaving the room. When you woke up again Halfdan was there, passing in the room. Your body still hurt but you tried on sitting more up. He saw you move and turned around to you. His eyes stood devastated and you felt the tears forming in your eyes. 'I'm so sorry, You sobbed. 'I know,' he walked to the bed, sitting down aside you while cupping your wet face. 'this is not your fault love.' He said, kissing away your tears as you only started crying more. 'The healer said you were maybe sick and therefore,' he felt silent and you sobbed, leaning your head down on his shoulder. 'It's my fault.'He whispered, pulling your head back to look at you. 'Better this then loosing you. We have other chances.' He tried to be encouraging but after wanting this so hard this was the worst moment of your life, whatever he said to make it a little better. He stroke his thumb over your cheeks, wiping away the tears that were getting down. 'Please, the gods,' 'Why are the gods doing this?' You asked angry. He signed, pressing his lips against your forehead. Saying that he know he was to blame with the gods. He was different once, the gods were maybe punishing him. It was wrong to say it out loud but you did in anyway. 'Tell me how I can help.' He asked; lips moving against your skin while he spoke. 'Stay with me?' You asked, looking up in those eyes. They used to be fearless but all you saw now was that, fear, fear of losing you, fear of losing more than only an unborn child he didn't loved yet. 'Always.' ' You whimpered. He cocked a small smile up and pulled you into an embrace, wrapping his arms around you in the most comfortable position, holding you tight for who knows how long.