— 19. Jealousy

It was snowing outside, but inside the Great Hall of Kattegat, Ragnar sat beside Tova in front of the fire in the middle of the room. Ragnar held a mouse by its tail, watching as Horik walked in with his son and a few other men.

"Are you going to proceed with the execution of Jarl Borg?" Horik asked and without a care in the world, Ragnar killed the mouse he held by slamming it down on the table in front of him.

"I am," Ragnar answered calmly as he began to skin the mouse while also having a casual conversation with Horik.

"I understand your reasons. At the same time, without Jarl Borg's ships and warriors, we cannot hope to mount a successful raid on Wessex," Horik explained in a calm tone.

"Then we will find another ally," Ragnar suggested as if it were easier to do such a thing.

"When?" Horik asked Ragnar impatiently.

"Soon," Ragnar answered calmly, "I have sent out word."

Tova turned and watched Horik closely. Realizing what he was getting at, she let out a large scoff. "Are you seriously suggesting that Ragnar should reprieve Jarl Borg as if nothing has happened?"

"No, I am merely asking you to stay your hand until another ally is found. The execution of Jarl Borg made public would surely discourage and deter any possible partners," Horik explained and Tova rolled her eyes at the man.

She sighed deeply and turned to Ragnar, the two of them exchanging a look.

"Fine," Ragnar answered in a calm tone, "I shall wait," He informed him and Horik nodded, turning to leave with his son, "But at least we are still allies, King Horik."

Horik stopped and turned to Ragnar, trying to hide his uneasiness. "I want my revenge on King Ecbert and I shall have it. Come what may," He told Ragnar, just before leaving the room.

"He will betray you sooner or later. He does not like that you view them to be equals," Tova informed Ragnar and the man nodded, already knowing that she was right, "He will turn against you soon enough, just as Jarl Borg has."

____

In the Great Hall, Ragnar was crouched down in front of Ubbe and Hvitserk, telling them a story as Bjorn and Tova sat nearby.

Bjorn looked annoyed, rolling his eyes at the story while Tova was smiling. Aslaug watched on as well, trying to contain her amusement as she placed her face in her hands.

Ragnar soon walked over to Ubbe and Hvitserk, telling them it was bedtime. He lifted them both with one hand, just before carrying them to their rooms.

Deciding it was time to leave as well, Tova stood up and left the room, heading to the room she now shared with Bjorn.

Once she was gone, Ragnar walked over to Bjorn, smiling as he took a seat beside his eldest son. "What is troubling you?"

"What is troubling me is that you do not trust me," Bjorn informed his father in an annoyed tone.

"I don't trust you?" Ragnar asked, letting out a large scoff since he found it to be absurd that Bjorn would say such a thing.

"No. Not as you trust Tova," Bjorn replied as he shook his head in response, "That night you captured Jarl Borg, you told me nothing of what you meant to do."

"I sent someone to find you and they could not find you," Ragnar retorted and Bjorn sighed as he looked downwards, "Where were you?"

"I was with Porunn," He informed Ragnar after a moment of silence.

Ragnar sighed, noticing the ashamed look on his son's face. "Ah, so it was your decision. You chose to be with her, rather than me. Unlike Tova, who chose to be with me rather than Finnr," He explained in a calm tone, not realizing it only made Bjorn feel worse about the whole situation.

"I only ask to be kept in your confidence as your son. Just as Tova is," Bjorn explained as he stared up at his father.

"I will be the judge of how far I take you into my confidence. But as a father, I will give you some advice, think with this," He paused, pointing to his head before pointing to Bjorn's lower region, "And not with your..."

Bjorn sighed and looked away from his father. He sighed in frustration before standing up. With that, he left the room and Ragnar sighed in defeat.

____

It was morning time and in the Great Hall, Tova stood near Aslaug, weaving on the loom in front of them. Hearing Aslaug wince in pain and hold a hand over her belly, Tova turned to the woman in concern since she knew her to be pregnant.

"What is it?" Tova asked, a concerned look on her face, "What's wrong?"

"I've never had such a pregnancy. So much pain. I am afraid," Aslaug admitted to Tova in a soft tone.

Tova immediately turned to Aslaug, even more concerned than before. "Of what?"

"When you and Ragnar arrived at the farmhouse after returning from Wessex, he wanted to have sex. I told him if he forced himself on me in the first three days of his return, I would bear him a monster," Aslaug explained, causing Tova's eyes to widen in alarm.

"Do you think it to be true?" Tova asked the woman worriedly, "That you are carrying a monster?"

"I do not know what made me say the things I said to Ragnar. The words came out of my mouth, but I did not choose them," She informed Tova, who sighed in defeat as she felt uneasy, "I spoke them, but the gods chose them."

There was a moment of silence between them as Tova looked downwards, feeling nervous. "What would you do..." She trailed off, letting out a shaky breath, "if it was a monster?"

"I do not know," Aslaug confessed truthfully as she shook her head, "What would you do?"

"I know if we women are to birth a deformed child, we are expected to show it mercy and leave it in the woods to die, but I don't think I would be able to do such a thing," Tova admitted in a whisper as she turned to smile sadly at Aslaug, "I believe I would love it all the same, regardless of what people thought of me for it. It would still be my child. Nothing would change that, right?"

"You are right, young Tova," Aslaug replied, smiling at what the girl said, "And I believe I would do the same. Just by your words, I know you will be a good mother."

Hearing the woman's words, Tova's smile faded, causing Aslaug to look concerned. "What is it?"

"Finnr, he..." She trailed off, sighing as she looked downwards, "He does not want children."

"And you do," Aslaug realized and Tova nodded his head, "Take my advice and leave him. What kind of sane man doesn't want to be a father, anyway?" She asked and Tova couldn't help but laugh, causing Aslaug to smile as well.

____

That night, in the Great Hall, Tova watched and cheered alongside many others as Rollo stood in the middle of the room blindfolded, fighting any man that came toward him using nothing but a staff.

Tova cheered loudly and clapped her hands. Finnr had been one of the men fighting and when he was done, he walked over to Tova. She cupped her face in his hands and kissed her, causing many men and women around them to cheer.

Tova pulled away and smiled, playfully rolling her eyes before she made her way over to Ragnar. "What are you going to do about Jarl Borg?" She asked him curiously.

"You know exactly what I'm going to do, Tova, because I already told you. In fact, you were the one who planned the entire thing with me," Ragnar informed him in a calm tone and Tova sighed in frustration.

"Then why hasn't it happened yet?" She asked him in an annoyed tone, "What are you waiting for?"

"I told the king that I would wait," He reminded her and Tova gave him a curious look.

"I don't understand why you obey his orders," Tova complained and Ragnar turned to her.

"Because he is the King, Tova," He argued and Tova moved closer to him.

"Not for long, though, right?" She asked him in a concerned tone.

"I think you know the answer to that," He reminded her and Tova began to smile in response.

Standing with Ragnar, Tova turned her head, watching as Bjorn followed Porunn around. He looked like a fool as he did so, causing Tova to smile in amusement. Porunn spoke to him for a moment, just before she walked away, leaving Bjorn looking defeated.

She continued to glance around until her eyes locked on Torvi. She stood alone, looking out of place.

Tova sighed at the sight and walked away from Ragnar. She picked up a cup of mead, just before she made her way over to Torvi. "I thought you'd be thirsty," She informed the girl, who smiled at her.

"Thank you, Tova," Torvi replied in a kind tone, "You are kind."

"You have shown nothing to prove that you are my enemy. Why wouldn't I be kind to you?" Tova asked the girl with a smile on her face.

"You ordered the men to spare me the night my husband was imprisoned. I cannot thank you enough for that," Torvi explained and Tova nodded in response.

"I feel sorry for you," Tova admitted in a soft tone as she gave Torvi a sympathetic look.

"It is all the same with we women. We just give birth to the slaughtered," Torvi commented and with that, she walked away.

Tova's face fell at Torvi's words. Was she right, she wondered. Torvi was sixteen, just like her. She was married off at her young age and she was now pregnant. There was no saying that in due time, when her child was grown, that they'd be caught in the same dynamic that they were. A girl married off at a young age like her mother. Or a boy deemed a traitor like his father and killed for it.

In another part of the Great Hall, Bjorn stood alone, watching Porunn from across the room. "Oh, Bjorn," A voice suddenly spoke up, causing Bjorn to turn to see Floki to be standing before him, "You feel the pangs, do you? Perhaps too early. Love is something to be experienced later. There are other desires that first have to be explored and satisfied."

"How will I know the difference, Floki?" Bjorn asked, a frustrated look on his face.

"Oh, you just ask yourself, 'What would Floki do?'" Floki explained as he wrapped an arm around Bjorn, "And then that will make you laugh, and then you're already half-cured."

"Don't joke with me," Bjorn complained as he stood up and prepared to walk away.

"Who's joking?" Floki argued, causing Bjorn to stop and turn to him once more.

He sighed and walked closer to Floki. "Rollo said she is just a slave and I can have her anytime. No one will care," He explained and Floki smiled in response, "But if it is Tova that I want, then I am doomed. For she will never love me back."

"Your uncle is heavy-handed when he speaks to others about the heart," Floki began to inform Bjorn as he wrapped an arm around the boy and began to walk with him, "But the truth is he feels the pangs as deeply as you, but warriors don't show their heart until the ax reveals it. And with time, the ax will reveal Tova's and you will learn whether or not she feels the same of you as you do with her. And I have the feeling the answer to that is yes. She spent years longing for your return. Though she never expected it to actually happen. Now that it has, she is stuck, unable to express the way she feels to you because she kept it bottled up for so long. She even tried to be with another since she couldn't have you. She is confused but it won't be long before it all finally makes sense to her."

"You are so wise, Floki," Bjorn replied after a moment of thinking hard on what the man had said.

Floki laughed, shaking his head as he placed a hand on Bjorn's shoulder. "I'm not wise at well. I'm just a joker," He commented, kissing Bjorn on the forehead before he walked away.

____

Tova ended up attending Floki's wedding, where for some odd reason, Floki hadn't asked Ragnar's blessing to have. Tova didn't question it, though.

It was afternoon time and after receiving news that a rider had arrived in Kattegat with a message, Tova was led over to the man by some of Ragnar's men.

"Tova Lothbrok," The man called out to her and she gave him a curious look.

"Yes?" She asked him curiously.

"I have come to talk to your father upon important business," He informed her and Tova smiled in response.

"And what business would that be?" She asked him suspiciously as she took a step toward him.

"Believe me, Earl Ragnar will want to hear me," He replied, and just by the look on his face, Tova knew it must have been about Ragnar needing allies.

She sighed and nodded her head, just before gesturing for the man to follow her toward the Great Gall.

It wasn't long before they arrived. Rollo stood with Tova, leading the man into the Great Hall. However, the moment they opened the door, an arrow came flying toward them.

Tova quickly ducked, nearly being shot by the arrow released from the bow Ragnar held. She rolled her eyes and Torstein laughed in amusement. "This is my father. Ragnar Lothbrok," She informed the man in a calm tone, "Excuse his foolishness. He can be like that sometimes. You'll get used to it."

"And you are?" Ragnar asked, teasingly pointing his bow at the man.

"You sent word that you needed a new ally to attack Wessex. The word reached us and we are happy to say that we can provide such an ally," He explained and Tova's eyes lit up at the thought, "An earl with enough ships and men to make your raid a great success. His name is Earl Ingstad."

"Earl Ingstad?" Ragnar asked, exchanging a look with Tova before he released an arrow in the man's direction, "Earl Ingstad?" He asked again and Torstein laughed as he quickly used his shield to protect the man from being hit with Ragnar's arrow, "Never heard of him."

Torstein began to laugh and Ragnar knocked another arrow before drawing his bowstring back. "Why is he not with you?"

"He did not want to waste the journey," He informed Ragnar, who lowered his bow, "He wanted to be certain that you were still in need of an ally."

"When can I meet him?" Ragnar asked, clearly interested in the proposal.

"You can meet him at any time."

"Yes," Ragnar replied and as the man continued talking to him, he began to walk toward him with the bow pointed at him, "Yes! Yes! Yes!"

Tova began to laugh in amusement, watching as Ragnar drove the man right out of the wall before he finally lowered his bow.

_____

It was nighttime and in Finnr's bed, Tova laid naked with Finnr on top of her as they had sex. Tova moaned softly as he kissed down her naked body. She smiled, covering her breasts with her hands as he turned her onto her side before laying behind her.

He kissed up her body before lightly biting her ear, thrusting into her as they both sighed in pleasure. His hand found its way to her throat and he turned her head to the side, kissing her on the lips as her thrusts became harder.

Tova found pleasure in it at first, only to gasp slightly as his grip on her throat became tighter. "Finnr," She spoke up uneasily, "Finnr, you're hurting me," She told her, crying out slightly as he didn't stop, "Finnr!"

Finally, he stopped, but his grip on her throat remained, causing her to feel uneasy. "Why do you do it?" He asked her in a low tone.

"Do what?" She asked him, a concerned look on her face.

"Why do you sleep with Bjorn?" He questioned and Tova turned to him in disbelief.

"I don't!" She exclaimed in shock, "I would never!"

"You do," Finnr argued back and Tova shook her head, "Some nights, you don't even return to me. You're in bed with him. I know it."

"I'm not," She argued in a low tone, roughly pushing him off of her. She quickly covered herself with the fur blanket, turning to him with tears in her eyes, "I'm not you. I don't bed other people. Look at yourself before daring to excuse me of such things. And don't you ever touch me in such a way again or I'll cut you from balls to brain. Do you understand?"

Tova stood up, tears threatening to spill from her eyes as she rushed to get dressed, her throat stinging slightly from where his tight grip was beginning to form bruises on her pale skin. She always had been known for having skin that bruises so easily. She just wondered how she would be able to explain the bruises to Ragnar and the others.