— 20. Quarrels

The following day, Tova sat in a tub filled with hot water that had been placed in her shared room with Bjorn in the Great Hall.

Hearing footsteps, she turned, sighing when she saw it was Bjorn entering. He froze, immediately looking away when he found her bathing. "I'm sorry. I will leave—"

"It's fine," She assured him in a soft tone, looking down at the water, "Sit. I've been meaning to talk to you."

Bjorn nodded and walked over to the bed. He took a seat, turning to face her. "What is it you wanted to talk to me about?" He asked, a part of him hoping it to be about what Floki had spoken to him about. Perhaps she would finally confess how she felt about him?

"How is Porunn?" She suddenly stated, causing Bjorn's face to fall, "I see the way you look at that slave girl. It is so obvious that care for her."

"I don't—" Bjorn began to complain, but Tova was quick to cut him off.

"You do," Tova replied, smiling at him without a care in the world, "I don't blame you. She is beautiful. If you wanted, I could convince Aslaug to release her from her duties as a servant. I could make her a free woman."

Bjorn turned to Tova, frowning at her words. Floki must have been wrong. If Tova cared about him in the way he hoped her to, there was no way she would be talking to him about another woman.

Just then, Bjorn was snapped out of her thoughts when Tova stood up, fully naked. She wrung out her hair, making sure it wasn't still drenched with water.

She turned to Bjorn, noticing his gaze remained on her for a brief moment before he looked away. She smiled in amusement and casually stepped out of the metal tub. "Hand me my robe," She told him and Bjorn awkwardly nodded her head.

He grabbed hold of her robe and tossed it to her. It nearly went past her, but Tova was quick to grab it. She laughed in amusement, immediately wrapping it around her naked frame.

Finally, Bjorn looked back at her, only to frown when Tova moved her hair to one side to revealed bruises on her neck. "What happened to your neck?" He asked her worriedly, rushing over to her.

He cupped her face in his hands, beginning to examine the bruises.

Tova groaned and roughly pushed Bjorn back. "Nothing!" She snapped at him coldly, "Don't touch me like that."

Bjorn frowned, staring at Tova in concern. "What happened to your neck?" He asked her again, knowing she was lying.

"You want to know what happened?" Tova asked and Bjorn nodded, "Finnr and I got rough in bed last night. You should see his back," She told him, causing Bjorn's face to fall while she smiled, "Is that what you wanted to hear?"

Bjorn sighed in frustration and looked away. He remained silent, not knowing how to respond. "I thought you weren't with him any longer."

"I'm not," She replied, earning a weird look from Bjorn, "It doesn't mean I can't return to his bed every now and then. Just because I don't love him, it doesn't mean I can't have sex with him."

"Tova," He called out in a calm tone, "Does Finnr know the two of you aren't together?" He asked her and Tova didn't answer, causing him to groan in frustration, "So you just lied to me!"

"Why do you care, Bjorn?" Tova complained loudly as she began to glare at him, "Stop involving yourself in my business. It is none of your concern. You were gone for four years! Four years! I was alone here. Gyda was dead, you were with Lagertha. I had no friends. But I had Finnr. He became my constant, the only thing keeping me from going totally mad. Yes, he might be a cheating bastard, but he is kind to me. He cares about me. And you heard what Arne said all those years ago. Just because the man cheats sometimes, it doesn't mean he loves his woman any less."

Bjorn laughed humorlessly and shook his head at Tova. "What Arne said was a lie, Tova. He was just trying to make it seems like what Ragnar was doing was justified. It isn't the truth. If you truly believe he was telling the truth when he said that after all these years, then you are a naive fool," He explained in an aggravated tone, causing Tova to immediately look hurt, "Gods, how can you be so smart in some ways, yet so naive in others? I thought you would have grown out of that by now!"

At the end of his rant, Bjorn looked ahead at Tova, who staring at him in silence with tears in her eyes as her lip quivered. "Tova..." He trailed off as he reached his hand out to her.

Tova glared at him, slapping his hand out of the way before she left the room without another word said.

"Tova!" Bjorn called out, sighing in frustration before he followed after her, "Tova! You can't leave in just a robe!"

Bjorn began to chase after her, only to stop when he finally found her standing beside Finnr, of all people. He had his arm wrapped around her and the moment Bjorn appeared, he turned to the oldest son of Ragnar with an aggravated look on his face.

"Tova—" Bjorn began to say, only to be cut off.

"Why can't you understand that she doesn't want to be bothered with you?" Finnr asked Bjorn with an aggravated tone as he walked toward Bjorn.

"Why can't you understand that I wasn't talking to you?" Bjorn snapped back at him as he hatefully glared at Finnr.

"You know, you're really starting to piss me off," Finnr complained and Bjorn scoffed as he walked toward him.

"And what are you going to do about it?" He challenged Finnr, only to be punched in the face.

Finnr shoved Bjorn to the ground and Tova gasped in horror. "Stop! Stop it, both of you!" She pleaded, only to watch as Bjorn lunged at Finnr with blood spilling from his nose.

Bjorn grabbed Finnr, knocking him to the ground. As Finnr went to stand up, Bjorn grabbed him and punched him in the face. However, as Finnr finally stood back up, the duo struggled against each other's strength until they were both knocked to the ground.

Finnr grabbed Bjorn by the shoulders. He punched him in the gut and as Bjorn fell forward, he kneed him in the face.

A crowd had formed of drunk people and some even sobers. All of which watched on, some of them cheering for the men while others wished for it to stop.

Bjorn punched Finnr and went to knock him to the ground, only to have Finnr take him down with him. The two men began to roll around in the dirt until they forced themselves up into a kneel.

Bjorn punched Finnr in the stomach, only to have Finnr return the favor by swinging at his jaw. Finnr shoved Bjorn to the ground before he stood up, landing a kick to his stomach.

Soon enough, Bjorn got back on his feet and the two young men circled around each other.

Tova watched on uneasily, wanting nothing more than to stop it. She turned, watching as Rollo walked over to see what was going on. "Rollo, please," She pleaded, tears in her eyes, "Please, stop them."

"You must let them fight. They are men. Let them settle out their differences," Rollo reminded her and Tova sighed in defeat.

She turned and watched as the men continued to land punches at each other. Bjorn had punched Finnr three times, leaving him a bloodied mess. Finnr dropped to the ground and Bjorn climbed on top of him, continuing to punch him.

Unable to take it anymore, Tova ran forward and grabbed Bjorn by the arm. She tried to pry Bjorn off of Finnr. Not knowing who it was, Bjorn whipped himself around and in his blind rage, he shoved the person as hard as he could.

Tova stumbled and fell to the ground, her eyes widening at his actions. The crowd fell silent and realizing what he had done, Bjorn's eyes widened in horror.

"Tova—" Bjorn began to apologize, only to have Tova hatefully glare at him with tears in her eyes.

"You two want to be fucking fools and beat each other to death? Be my guest, but I shall not be here to watch it happen," She snapped at them coldly, storming off without another word said.

Bjorn climbed off of Finnr, a defeated expression on his face. Finnr sat up as well, blood covering both of the men's faces.

"Great job," Finnr commented in a sarcastic tone, "You wanted her to love you, but after you just did, she never will. Even I'm not foolish enough to pull something as foolish like that."

Bjorn turned to Finnr and raised his fist. He was on the verge of punching him again when a voice suddenly shouted out, "Enough."

Bjorn's eyes widened and he turned, finding it to have been his father. "What is going on here?" Ragnar asked his son in a low tone before glancing around at the crowd that had formed, "Leave, all of you! Now!"

____

In the woods just outside Kattegat, Tova sat against a tree. Her knees were brought up to her chest and tears threatened to spill from her eyes. She sniffled and her lip quivered as she tried her hardest not to cry.

"I thought I would find you here," A voice suddenly spoke up, causing Tova to turn to see Lagertha standing before her. She smiled softly and walked closer to Tova. She bent down, meeting the girl at eye view.

"When did you come back?" Tova asked, wiping her tears as she stared up at the woman, "I thought I'd never see you again after you left for the second time."

"Do you really think I could stay away?" Lagertha asked and Tova quietly chuckled as she smiled sadly at the woman, "If you'd like to know, I will be joining you in Wessex."

"You're Earl Ingstad," Tova realized and Lagertha smiled, nodding her head.

"I heard about what happened. With you, Bjorn, and Finnr," Lagertha admitted and Tova began to tear up once more.

"They were fighting because of me. They're eighteen, yet they act as though they are my age. A girl of sixteen," She explained and Lagertha couldn't help but quietly laugh.

"They're boys, what do you expect?" Lagertha asked and Tova smiled sadly. She moved closer to Tova, wrapping an arm around her, "I remember when we first moved to Kattegat when Ragnar became Earl. It seemed as though you and Bjorn would get into an argument about something new every day. Gyda would always come to tell me and after she did, it was as though no one could find you. But I knew where you were," She explained, smiling as she gestured around them, "You would be here, crying over whatever insult Bjorn threw at you. You'd always show a brave face in front of him whenever he insulted you. You'd simply throw one back at him, but once he was gone, you'd begin to cry because no matter how strong you could be in front of people, you still had feelings. You just didn't want to show anyone that they could hurt you."

"Crying is for the weak," Tova whispered softly and Lagertha smiled, shaking her head.

"Having emotions and crying doesn't make you weak. It makes you human, Tova. You just simply cannot let them control you," She explained to the girl in a calm tone.

"They both think to be naive. Finnr thinks he can do anything and get away with it. And Bjorn thinks I'm a fool for staying with a man who has bedded another," Tova explained, tears spilling down her cheeks.

"You're still young. You're sixteen. Whether or not any of you want to admit it, you're still a child, in a sense. You're allowed to make mistakes. After all, that is how you become wise and knowledgeable. You make mistakes and learn from them," Lagertha reminded Tova as she held her close to her, "If you want to be with Finnr, that is your choice. Don't let Bjorn or anyone else influence what you decide to do. For it you that will be the one involved with him, not you."

"Can I be honest?" Tova asked and Lagertha nodded her head, "I don't really know why I am with Finnr anymore. I suppose it is because I don't wish to be alone. I know if I stop being with him, he will leave and I don't want to be alone," She explained, tears in her eyes, "I'm afraid of being alone. I want to love somebody and I want someone to love me. More than anything."

Lagertha sighed in defeat, realizing what was happening. In simple terms, Tova's childhood had messed her up more than she or Ragnar ever realized. She grew up loved by no one until she and Ragnar took her in. She was a slave with no mother and no father. She didn't know what it was like to be taken care of, to be nurtured, or to be loved. Then Ragnar took her in. She finally learned what it was like to be loved. She was happy and Lagertha gave her the love and nurturing that a mother would. But then Lagertha left. And Bjorn did, too. Not to mention, Gyda died.

She had Ragnar, yes, but it wasn't the same. It was a father's type of love and Ragnar had other children to think of as well.

Tova craved to be loved again and she found it with Finnr. It wasn't the same. But it was love. She felt a connection with him. Or so she thought. And now, even though she wasn't happy with him anymore, she craved the affection and love she got from him. She needed it. Without it, she felt like she did as a young girl. Neglected and alone.

What Tova didn't realize is that she could surely find someone who would treat her better. Someone who would love her unconditional and treat her well without cheating on her as Finnr did.

"I love you," Lagertha reminded the girl as she wrapped her arm around her and pulled her close to her, "Ragnar loves you. Bjorn loves you. Siggy loves you. Rollo loves you. Floki loves you. Helga loves you. Torstein loves you. Hell, even Aslaug loves you," She explained, causing Tova to laugh and smile as Lagertha wiped the tears from her face. She smiled down at Tova, affectionately stroking her cheek, "You don't need a man to feel loved. You have a family that loves you. And one day, you will find a man that will love you unconditionally. A man who will treat you like the queen you are and will not cheat on you. And I know you will find it without issue because you are a strong, beautiful young woman and I don't understand what possible reason there could be for someone not wanting to be with someone as great and wonderful as you."

Tova smiled at Lagertha's words and nodded. "I missed you so much, Lagertha," She admitted in a soft tone.

"And I missed you, my daughter," She replied as she pulled the girl into her tight embrace.

I know, I know Tova was being REAL freakin' stupid this chapter but you gotta understand, she's only sixteen. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Like Bjorn and everyone else seems to say, in some ways she's super smart like ragnar but when it comes to relationships and other things related to that she is literally SO fucking dumb but it's not her fault.

She was raised by monks most of her childhood and idk about you, but they're not the right kind of people to be teaching a little girl about life, a girl who had never seen another woman or child in her life until she was 9/10 years old when Ragnar brought her to Kattegat from England. (I mean, she didn't even know what a period was at her age and if siggy and lagertha hadn't been there to tell her she would have NEVER learned)

And even then, when Bjorn left, Finnr wasn't stupid. He PURPOSELY involved himself with Tova. She thought he loved her but he just wanted to get into her pants. Tova and Aslaug might be cool with each other and all and Siggy might be her mom but it's so obvious that Tova pushes her away.

She viewed Lagertha as her mom and she was the only woman who was really there to teach her stuff about being a woman so when lagertha left, Tova really had no woman there to teach her about relationships and all that.

And idk about you, but Ragnar is the LAST person to be asking relationship advice from. So there's that 🤷🏻‍♀️