— 38. Back from the Dead

In one of the rooms in the Great Hall, Bjorn was sitting at a table, staring down at the map in front of him. He held a candle in his hands, moving it around the map to get a better look at it.

Just then, without him knowing, Tova appeared behind Bjorn. She smiled widely, wrapping her arms around him from the back before she began to kiss his neck. "I am sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to call you stupid," She told him softly, only to have Bjorn sigh and not respond, "Fine then, don't answer."

She pulled away from Bjorn, taking a seat beside him as she looked down at what laid in front of him. "What is that you got there?"

"I don't know. The looks like a road..." He trailed off, running his finger over a part of the map, "And that's a sea...maybe."

"Where did you find it?" Tova asked curiously.

"In a house in Paris," He admitted, earning a puzzled look from Tova.

"Why did you not show me on the boat ride back here?" She complained and Bjorn shook his head at her.

"I wanted to learn more about it first before showing you," He replied and it was the truth, "Whoever owned it clearly thought it was more important than anything else he had. He fought hard to save it."

"What is it to you, though?" Tova questioned, a curious look on her face.

Bjorn remained silent for a long moment. He stared down at the map for a moment, just before turning to look at her. "It is my destiny," He admitted in a calm tone and Tova nodded.

"Perhaps in due time, it will be our destiny," She told him, smiling as she leaned forward to kiss him.

However, before they could kiss, Bjorn turned away, which caused Tova to frown. "What is wrong?"

"Your destiny is to rule Kattegat. Mine is to travel," He reminded her in a calm tone, "You can't do both. Nor can I."

"What are you saying?" Tova asked, frowning at him in concern.

"We have different dreams, and we are two very different people," Bjorn reminded her and Tova rolled her eyes since she knew what he was getting at, "Perhaps we should end what we have with each other."

Tova began to laugh, causing Bjorn to frown since it wasn't supposed to be funny. He watched as she leaned closer to him, smiling in utter amusement. "How can we end what was clearly never there in the first place?" She asked him in a low tone.

Bjorn sighed, shaking his head at Tova. "Of course there was something there, Tova," He complained, attempting to reach for her hand.

Tova scoffed at Tova's actions and slapped his hand away. "Why must you be so difficult, Bjorn?" She snapped at him angrily.

"Do you realize that you're just as difficult as I am, if not more?" Bjorn argued in a defensive tone.

"At least I don't lead someone on for years, only to end things before they even truly start!" Tova complained, staring at Bjorn in disbelief as she stood up from her seat.

"Lead you on?" Bjorn asked, letting out a large scoff as he stared at her in disbelief, "You've led me on for years, Tova! When we were reunited after four years, I wanted to be with you, but you were too busy with Finnr. And even when that was over, you would rather bed Erlendur or anyone else instead of being with me."

"You were with Porunn," Tova reminded him in an aggravated tone.

"I was only with Porunn to distract myself from how much I cared about you. And even when we were able to be together in Paris, you preferred to be my father's little lapdog and spend all your time being secretive with him, rather than be with me. You would rather lie right to my face than be honest," Bjorn explained, glaring at Tova angrily, "You don't understand the concept of truly being with a person. You think you can just pop out of nowhere, act like nothing is wrong, and that everything is fine when it's not. And all you think about is sex. There is more to a relationship than that, you know."

"Of course I know that. But obviously, that will never happen between us," Tova snapped at him and let out a large scoff. She went to stand up to leave, only to have Bjorn grab her arm.

"You see, this is what you do!" He shouted at her angrily, "You would rather walk away than actually finish this conversation. And then hours or days later, you appear, giving some fake apology and then you act like everything is fine when it's not. Sometimes, you don't even apologize! You just act like nothing happened in the first place."

"I don't know what I'm doing, okay?" She blurted out, only to begin to tear up.

Bjorn's eyes softened at Tova's words and his face fell, realizing that she was being genuine. "You were with Finnr for more than three years. How do you not know?"

"Did you see how we were with each other? We spend every night together but besides that, we barely spoke to each other in public. We were independent and rarely conversed about anything. He cheated on me constantly and I did nothing about it. I'd snap at him and he'd promise me not to do it again. I'd nod and tell him he was forgiven, even while knowing it would happen. It was never resolved. We would simply jump into bed right after and solve our problems with sex. That is what we did. I know nothing else," She confessed, sighing as she wiped the tears from her eyes, "You are right, Bjorn. This is not going to work. We want it to, but it never will. We are too different and we can't get along long enough to solve these issues between us."

"Tova..." Bjorn trailed off, a saddened look appearing on his face as he went to reach for her hand.

"I'm sorry," Tova whispered to him softly, shaking her head before she began to walk toward the door. She walked out of the room, only to stop and groan in pain. She felt her legs give out, but before she could hit the ground, she forced herself down on the bench right next to her.

She looked ahead, sighing when she saw Ivar sitting there, watching her. "What?" She asked him in an aggravated tone and Ivar didn't say a word, "I'm like you, you know. I wasn't born with these legs, but my own actions are what caused them. I could be walking perfectly fine now if I had just rested as everyone told me to in the beginning, but I didn't. Now, they are messed up for life. They will be the death of me. Especially since I keep walking when I could easily be crawling."

"Crawling?" Ivar questioned and Tova nodded in response.

"Yes. Crawling. You will never get to walk, Ivar. But if you really want to, you can crawl. Gain enough muscle in your arms and you'll be able to drag yourself everywhere. That's my advice," She explained and Ivar's lips curled upwards, "Don't let anyone tell you you're worthless. I have killed many men sitting down without using my legs. You can do the same."

"Mother doesn't want me to fight. Not ever," Ivar admitted and Tova let out a loud laugh.

"And do you do everything your mother tells you to?" She retorted, causing them both to smile, "No, of course not. I surely don't do everything Father or any other adult tells me to. In all honesty, most times I simply do the opposite..." She trailed off and cursed under her breath, "Don't listen to me. That's bad advice."

Ivar giggled at Tova's words, earning a small smile from the girl.

"When did you even get so big?" Tova complained, gesturing toward the boy, "Last time I was here, you were a baby."

Ivar shrugged and Tova sighed, slowly pulling her to the ground. She positioned her legs a certain way, just before turning onto her stomach.

Ivar watched her closely, looking curiously as she crawled toward him without a problem.

"You see?" She asked him with a smile on her face, "It isn't hard at all. And it's less painful."

"I want you to teach me," Ivar demanded and Tova nodded.

"One day, perhaps," Tova replied, earning an eye roll from Ivar since he wanted to learn right at that moment.

______

It was nighttime and a feast occurred at the Great Hall to celebrate Ragnar's survival. Tova sat at the main table with Aslaug, Bjorn, and the other sons of Ragnar.

"Tova is teaching me to fight," Hvitserk suddenly announced from his seat beside Tova, who smiled at Aslaug's surprised look.

Only half-listening to what Aslaug was saying, Tova turned and watched Bjorn whisper something to Ubbe that made them both laugh as they turn to glance at her.

She stared back at them and frowned, causing them both to immediately look away.

"That is good. But remember, your grandfather, my father, was the greatest warrior of all time," Aslaug informed her son and while Ivar looked curious, Tova rolled her eyes, "He slayed the dragon Fafnir and is spoken of in the sagas. Surely you will inherit his warlike gifts. Even you, Ivar."

"Indeed he will," Tova replied, smiling as she nodded in agreement, "And I shall show him how to."

"How will you do that?" Ubbe asked, a puzzled look on his face, "You can walk, Ivar can't."

Tova sighed at Ubbe's words, realizing they didn't know about her legs. "It might not be obvious, but I actually have something wrong with my legs. Just like Ivar. In a few years, I have a feeling I will not be able to use them at all, just like him. I already know how to use my arms to crawl everything without the use of my legs and..." She trailed off, smiling as she pointed the chicken leg she was in the middle in Ivar's direction, "I shall show you how to do the same and to fight like that."

Hearing Tova's revelation, Ivar began to smile widely, clearly excited.

Just then, Tova turned her head, smiling widely as she saw Ragnar standing upright and making his way toward him. "Ragnar!" She exclaimed and everyone in the great hall began to cheer for their king.

Hvitserk, Sigurd, and Ubbe quickly stood up, rushing to hug Ragnar. "Father!" Ubbe shouted and Ragnar tightly hugged his three sons.

"Please. Everyone, continue," Ragnar spoke up loudly, smiling as he looked around, "Forget about poor little me."

Ragnar sat down in his seat and groaned in pain. He picked up Ivar, placing his youngest son in his lap as he turned to exchange a look with Tova.

"Everyone's so happy to see you, Ragnar," Aslaug spoke up, smiling slightly as she placed a hand on her husband's shoulder.

"Perhaps some more than others, hmm?" Ragnar commented and Tova tried her hardest to contain her amused smile, "Look at my boys, huh?"

Ragnar playfully messed up Ivar's hair, only to stop as he looked up at the servant Tova had brought home with her. He turned and exchanged a look with Tova, knowing for a fact it must have been her doing. "What have I missed?" He asked, smiling playfully as she looked down at Ivar.

Ivar smiled and turned to Ubbe. "You tell him."

"Bjorn has arrested Floki," Ubbe informed Ragnar, who smiled sadly.

Ragnar turned to look at Bjorn, trying to contain his anger.

"Yes," Bjorn admitted, nodding his head slowly as he tried to contain his uneasiness.

Slowly, Ragnar turned to look at Tova. "You let him do this?"

"Who says he gave me any say in the matter?" Tova retorted as she let out a large scoff.

"Floki needed to be dealt with. You were incapacitated. I felt it the right thing to do," Bjorn explained and Tova rolled her eyes.

"Did you also think if I wanted him arrested, I would have done it a long time ago?" Ragnar complained, causing Bjorn's face to fall, "But now, you have made it public and left me with no options. Now, I am forced to deal with my errant friend."

There was a moment of silence between the group and Tova sighed, turning to look at Bjorn, who didn't know what to say.

"Whose stupid idea was it to leave Rollo behind in Paris?" Ragnar asked and Tova shifted uncomfortably in her seat, "Huh? Tova?"

"Definitely not mine. I told them they were all fools to do so and they did it anyway," Tova admitted, earning a hateful glare from Bjorn.

"He is my uncle!" He shouted angrily as he slammed his cup down.

"He is my brother," Ragnar reminded him in a stern tone, "And I know him better."

Tova sighed in defeat, glancing between Bjorn and Ragnar as they glared at one another.

_____

The following day, Tova was walking outside when she laid eyes on the slave she had bought named Yidu. She rolled her eyes, watching as the girl struggled with getting a simple chicken into its cage.

Unable to take it anymore, Tova walked over to the girl and roughly grabbed her by the arm. "Come with me," She insisted, leading the girl away from the whole scene.

Finally finding a place to be alone, Tova lightly pushed the girl against the wooden post before moving closer to her. "Tell me how you came to be a slave. I know you weren't born into you. You're an even worse slave than I was as a girl. You are quite horrible at it, actually," She explained and the woman stared up at her, looking to be on the verge of crying.

"I was sailing with members of my family. Pirates came aboard. Slaughtered some of us. Some of us they kept for sale. They separated me from my brothers. And they..." She trailed off and gulped nervously as Tova's eyes softened.

"Raped you?" She asked in a concerned tone.

"No," Yidu replied, earning an eye roll from Tova, who grabbed the girl by the throat.

"Then what?" Tova asked, a suspicious look on her face.

"They did not dare to rape me," She answered in a low, threatening tone, which only piqued Tova's interest.

"Why did they not...dare to rape you?" She questioned curiously, "Who are you? What is so special?"

Yidu remained silent for a long moment as she stared at Tova. She sighed, just before continuing on. "They took me on a long journey. For days and weeks and afterward, they sold me to the Franks," She explained and Tova smiled slightly, "And now, I am here. I am here wherever here is. It has been so long since I knew where I was or where I belonged. I suppose it is stupid for a slave to worry about such things. A slave does not really exist. None of us are lucky enough to be adopted by Ragnar Lothbrok to become a princess as you were."

"I don't know what you heard, but I was not always a slave," Tova argued in a cold tone, "I was the daughter of the Earl of Kattegat before Ragnar had killed him. I understand your pain, though. So don't act like I don't. But you are lying about something. I know you are. There is more to the story and I intend to figure out what it is."

Tova slowly backed away from the girl, smiling. She turned, walking away without another word said.