You didn't go home ... to the house you shared with Hvitserk. It would be the first place he would go looking for you. What he was doing now you didn't wanted to know. The only thing you saw, with every step, with every breath was the way he killed those two men. You didn't saw any hesitation in his body, you didn't saw him flinch on the dead that followed. He did nothing except for keeping on that same path and in your eyes ... it was a dark path. All the way to your parents the only thing that crossed your mind was how much you misjudged him. You always saw Hvitserk as the charming young man, joking and fooling around. Even on your wedding he got it for each other to say something stupid for which everybody started to laugh. It was a memory that gave you a smile when you thought about it. And now all you did was thinking if that joke was a lie, if he was a lie. What if Hvitserk never was charming? What if this was who he always was ... something darker, something edgy? The knot turned around your stomach, making you nauseous from only the thought that you married a man that didn't loved you, who was someone else. How could you let this happen?

But when you lied curled up on the bed beside your sister she told you one thing that made it all shift back. 'He did it because he loved you Y/n, he did it for you.' She whispered. How could a girl from only twelve years being so deep going smart? You stroke her hair, not replying on the words she spoke. You just gazed into the darkness, thinking of what she just said. He did it because he loved you, he killed two men for you and in some way that even frightened you more. Would he kill every single soul that mistreated you? If felt like you were the murdered to begin with, only giving the command to kill to somebody else. Because of those thoughts you felt more involved than you did before.

'Y/n.' You startled up out of your thoughts and looked aside to your mother standing in the doorway. 'Hvitserk wants to see you.' She said with a little hesitation. She loved Hvitserk and despite she didn't knew what happened she kept careful in her words. That meant he wasn't himself, that meant he was still angry ... scary ... dark.

'I don't want to talk to,'

'Y/n, out.' Hvitserk interrupted you almost harshly. You jumped from the bed, wanting to step back but he grabbed your arm, pulling you right behind him out.

'Hvitserk.' You hissed through the little pain he gave you. As soon as you were outside you jerked your arm out of his. He pushed you further, out of hearing distance, before he turned around to you.

'Why did you run?' He asked. What? You looked over his face, his hands were still with blood. You looked back up to him, opening your mouth to talk but hardly getting any words out.

'Why?' You repeated, like it didn't was obvious enough already. 'You killed two men in cold blood.' It was like you tried to explain him something, while it was just in front of the both of you. His eyes had still that certain wall, something you often saw when you looked at Ivar but never ... you didn't saw Hvitserk as a violent person, well, he proved you wrong.

'I'm Viking, we kill all the time.' He shrugged, like it was the easiest thing to do.

'Do you hear yourself?' You asked him, stunned by what he just said. You stepped back, a little away from him. 'Were you planning on killing my brother?' You asked. It would been easier for him, to kill your brother instead of two men who weren't even involved. Since when did you start on killing other Vikings? What would Harald say about this when he hears about it?

'If he would harm you with another word, another act, yes. Y/n,' he took two big steps, cupping your face in a strong embrace from his hands. 'I did this for you. It was to protect you. What are you so afraid of?' Something in his voice gave you the old Hvitserk back. You laid your hands on his wrists, pulling them away from around you face, he let you.

'You killed two Vikings Hvitserk, to make a point. Two men who maybe had children waiting for them at home, a wife. You killed two innocent people to prove yourself.'

'To protect you.'

'They did nothing wrong!' You shouted. He curled his fingers to fists, starting to pace around to control what was left of his patience.

'I'm not gonna apologize for it.' He said after a little silence. Of course he wouldn't. You just stood there, arms crossed together before your chest, looking how his body moved fort and back. Running away wouldn't help, he would come right after you. But he needed to understand, he needed to understand you had to process this, give a place in your head. 'I'm not regretting it either. I would do it again in a heartbeat, if it secures your safety, why are you fighting this Y/n?' He went on, frustrated. You bited your lip, fighting the upcoming tears while you shook your head.

'I wasn't in any danger to begin with.'

'I won't let you treat him like that.'

'He is my brother.'

'And you are my wife. You should be thankful, your brother will remember this, he will leave you alone.' Hvitserk almost interrupted you again, stating the point. Everything he said was in one goal ... to prove his unconditional love for you. There were better ways to do it. In some way you needed to be thankful, laying in his arms, kissing his chest but the picture in your head destroyed all of that. 'Why aren't you thankful, why are you standing there?' He pointed to the spot you stood on, the distant between the two of you. 'Y/n,'

'Because I'm scared of you Hvitserk!' You snapped under his pressure. His body froze on the spot, turning slowly back to you to look you in the eyes. You just gazed back, despaired for him to understand you.

'Of me,' he repeated those words. Within seconds his whole attitude shifted, it was like that little strand of darkness crawled out of his body, soaking in the ground. What you saw back was his loyalty, his love, his calmness. It shifted that easy you could only thing how fast that darkness could come back. 'Y/n,' he stepped forward and you let him. He brought his hands up, cupping your face tenderly and you let him. 'I would never harm you, I would never hurt you in any way. What I did I did out of love for you. He was mistreating you, disrespecting you and I just can't handle seeing you get hit and hurt like that.' He softly started to convince you that he wasn't the monster you thought him to be over the past hours. 'I won't apologize, I don't even regret it. I would do it all over.' Your eyes turned down on the words, thinking about how much people could die on his hand for attacking you. 'You are my wife, I only protect what's mine.' He lifted your face a little. You looked up in his eyes, getting all warm again on the inside. But that warmth got stopped by that stiff line of doubt, a doubt that needed time to resolve itself. 'I would do anything for you, I would do anything to keep you out of danger. By all the gods, I never loved something so much as I love you now.' He stroke his thumb over your cheek, placing his lips on yours. You closed your eyes, not answering his kiss in any way. He just pecked them, before he placed a kiss in your forehead.

'If you love me you give me time.' You softly started, looking up to him. You laid your hand over his that still cupped your face. 'I need time to process this Hvitserk. You killed two people in cold blood for me that shouts more than only love.' You whispered. He place his forehead against yours looking you deep in the eyes.

'Did I lost you?' He asked, so soft, tender, almost scared even, that you just wanted to embrace him.

'No. But I need a little space.'

'Good,' he took a deep breath, placing a new kiss on your forehead. 'You can have the house, I will stay with my brothers.' He said before letting go of you. That look on his face, the expressions in your eyes ... it was like you lost him already. As soon as he started walking you turned around, wrapping your hand before your mouth to smother the cries coming out. This wasn't right and in some way ... if felt like the only thing you could do.

Two days passed in which you locked yourself up, lying on the bed and over thinking every single detail of that night before you got an invitation from Lagertha for dinner. So you took the finest dress you had, braided your hair up and tried to masque your doubt and misery after a bright smile. When you walked out Hvitserk was waiting on you, not that he needed to come pick you up. Despite ... you were relieved on seeing his face. 'You didn't need to come.' You said, forcing a smile on your lips, pulling the door close behind you.

'I was worried.'

'I'm fine Hvitserk.' You reacted a little fast. He only nodded, walking beside you to the great hall. You wanted to say so much but there wasn't a word fitting to start with. So you both kept silence until you entered the great hall and you saw your brother standing beside Halfdan. Halfdan pushed his brother, nodding over to you. 'Does he know?' You asked Hvitserk softly, not looking back to your brother.

'Think we are gonna find out.' Hvitserk said, giving that King Harald walked over to the both of you. You bowed softly, greeting him as respectful as you always would do. When you looked aside him you saw your brother looking at the three of you, he locked his eyes with yours, not dominant, not stubborn or wild, he just looked and you just looked back at him.

'Hvitserk.' King Harald began, throwing his arm around your husband. You let it be, standing on your place while the both of them walked away. Clearly Harald didn't want you to join the conversation.

'Sister.' His voice sneaked up on you from behind. You turned around and looked up to him.

'Brother.' You just replied, not with too much emotion, just ... neutral.

'Quite the husband you have, afraid I guess?' He chuckled on a careful manor. You just smiled, not wanting to talk to him but neither having another choice. 'We both know you weren't really the type to marry a ruthless person.' He joked around.

'Thanks for pointing that out brother.' You only reacted.

'He is coming to the Mediterranean; we will travel together for some while.' Your brother announced. You looked away to Hvitserk who was still talking before looking back to your brother.

'If you hurt him, in any way,'

'Take it easy sister, I don't want to have all those Ragnarssons behind me.' He laughed, taking a cup of ale from a slave before walking a little back to Halfdan. 'Just saying.' He winked before turning his back to you. You grabbed for a cup of ale yourself, sitting down and looking more troubled than when you walked in here. When Hvitserk came to sit aside you he didn't explained his conversation with Harald but you saw he was thinking over something two. What left the both of you rather passive on the dinner table while everybody was laughing, discussing all kinds of plans. Sometimes you went with the subject but mostly just listened, thinking of your own until you got to tired and excuses yourself from the evening.

Despite your body felt heavy, your head needed sleep, you were gazing in the darkness, not being able to sleep at all. It felt like hours, it probably were hours when you finally found some kind of a sleeping stage. Clearly not far enough because you waked up by the movement in the room. Before you really could start to panic you felt his weight on the bed as he lay down beside you, wrapping an arm around you. Your hand founds his and just like every time you embraced it, pressing your lips against his knuckles. 'I miss you.' He whispered in the dark. You closed your eyes, absorbing his warmth against your back before you slowly turned around to your back, looking in the darkness for his face.

'I'm sorry.' You started. 'It was childish from me to ask for time. I realize that your love goes beyond boundaries and I should have known that your heart isn't dark. I doubted you, for that I don't deserve you.' You softly spoke. You felt his hand on you face and your emotions started to leave your body in silent tears.

'I'm not sorry for what I did but I realize it wasn't your place to see it happen. And that you needed space, I'm still willing on giving you that.'

'No.' You protested softly, shaking your head. 'Don't go.' You whispered. He answered those words by placing his lips on yours. You fingers tangled in his hair while opening your lips, welcoming him for you missed him so hard. His kiss got so lost in yours, feeling like almost falling out of breath was the only thing keeping you on this world, fingers pushing gentle against his face. He pulled back, a little out of breath, pecking your lips another time. You missed him, so much was sure, you realized how stupid you were to begin with. 'You are going to the Mediterranean.' You carefully began.

'King Harald asked me, who told you?'

'My brother.' You whispered, not wanting to say that.

'You shouldn't listen to him.' He reacted, a little of edge because of your brother again.

'So you won't go?'

'I only go if you want me to go, and if I'm sure you are alright.'

'I am, now.' You reassured him. He hummed, snuggling his lips and nose in the crook of your neck. You embraced his head with one arm, closing your eyes on the feeling he rushed through your body. Why was everything always so much more intense after a fight or rough time? 'Will you promise me not to kill people before me if I'm the reason of their dead?' You asked. He signed, pulling back to look at you.

'Is that what bothered you all those days? That you feel responsible for their dead?' He asked you a little worried. Your fingertips followed his jawline, rethinking the words he just asked.

'A little.' You admitted. He caught your fingertips in his hand, placing a kiss on them.

'I promise you I won't do that again for you to see it. But I can't promise that I won't kill again when you are the reason.'

'That I understand now.' You softly nodded. It's not that you could change him. In a way it was honorable, loving, and heroic that he got through that kind of lenghts only to protect you.

'Is it all good now?' He asked you caring.

'Yes, I'm still glad I married you.'

'Nice to hear.' He reacted, tightening his embrace around your body. You pulled yourself as close as possible, taking in his smell, the sent of his skin.

'You know, I missed you to.'

'Don't be so stubborn the next time then.' He said playfully, totally his old self. You chuckled, looking for his lips. You kissed his tenderly until he shifted his body weight, pressing you down in the bed. Your chest moved up and down on the passion he threw in his kiss before starting to scan your body with his lips. You closed your eyes, feeling his touch, the sweet tender longing building up in your body. He knew his way around your body, knew all the sweet places, pulled the moans right over your lips. The tiredness from before faded a little for you had the make up with him what you destroyed a few days ago.