"What did you say to him?"

Kari shook off a wave of nausea as she looked over at Harald in confusion. Once they had reached their campground, everyone had gone in their own separate ways. Everything had been much, too much for all of them. Fighting with your family was one thing but declaring war and burning down all ties was another.

Ivar went off to stew in his rage and meticulous strategies while Hvitserk decided to go on his own to ponder on his own thoughts. It was dangerous to be alone but being with each other only reminded them of what they had decided on, what they had already lost before the battle even begun.

They all had some thinking to do. Today proved that anything could happen, that anyone could turn against anyone. It definitely put things into perspective and made one question just about everything about a person they knew.

Tomorrow would be a day of fighting but perhaps the night before could feel just as worse. The waiting, the anxiety, the anticipation would be enough to drive the most courageous warrior insane. The idea of not knowing and not being able to predict what would happen is a concept that would forever run through everyone's minds.

The tides of war could change in a single second. A steady terrain could crumble. A victor can be defeated. A general can be outsmarted. A king can be dethroned. It was too simple. Just like that.

Maybe that was the reason why she was feeling so awful with herself, why every single fiber of her body seemed intent on punishing her. Being a part of all this, with others relying on her and having to carry the weight of their trust, was substantial.

"What?" Kari sighed tiredly. Her head was pounding and she wanted nothing more than to be alone with silence yet it seems that was not to be.

She and Harald had retired to their tent when they had all split ways. Both of them had much on their minds which was why not a lot of words were exchanged between them. For a time, they had been distracting themselves with trivial things like polishing armor or sharpening their blades.

But now, Harald wanted to talk. It was as if he had been holding back the words he wanted to say from the moment they had entered their own solitude, only now were they breaking free after the abyss of his own mind was too much for his conscience to bear.

"You said something to Ivar. Something that made him change his mind. What did you say?" He spoke, his tone questioning as he turned to face her.

"I hardly said anything to influence him. We talked about our father, that's all." She shrugged nonchalantly, returning to sharpening her sword.

"Liar." He muttered, almost mockingly. He could not believe that she would hide whatever it is she said from him. Most of all, he could not believe that she could still stay silent after all that has happened.

He had figured that maybe she would want to talk, that they could speak about what has happened. Her silence only pushed her shame forward. It only made her look more guilty.

"I'm not lying!" She defended, placing the sword aside as she surged to her feet.

"I saw that look in your eyes. You want power, you want Kattegat!" He retorted, his frustration getting the better of him. Internally, he knew that she never wanted any of it but truth be told, he only needed someone else to want it or it all would have been done for his own selfish reasons.

"Only because you want it! All I've ever wanted was for you." She glared at him in disbelief, in denial about what he was saying. Nothing of what he said was making any sense and they both knew it.

There were so many simmering emotions on the surface and after suppressing them for so long, they are all coming to light. Their anger releasing in the most horrific manner, their emotions battling it out in a fierce duel, neither one willing to back down.

When the identity of the rival becomes unclear, everyone looks to be an enemy, even one who is meant to be one's greatest ally.

"Sure it is. All you children of Ragnar fighting for his legacy, you're all the same." He scoffed, his words leaving his mouth faster than he could think about what weight they held.

She shoved him away, not wanting to hear anything about that, his words hitting precisely where it hurts. "Shut your mouth. You don't know anything."

He continued, reveling in the pain he was feeling from her, wanting to feel anything else. "All of you trying to pry a piece of him from his rotting carcasses."

She raged, digging her own claws into him. "And what about you? All you had was Halfdan and you would willingly fight him, willingly lose him for a dream. A dream you created for a girl who didn't even love you!"

That was the problem when someone knows you very well. They know what to say to hurt you, what word to utter to break you. At this moment, they only wanted to hurt and hurt.

They forgot everything else and even when their love burned intensely for each other, this passion was made murky by the loss that they had both suffered from their own actions.

"That's long past. You know that." He gruffly answered, looking away from her. "My brother and I made our own decisions. That is not for you to be a part of."

"Then stop trying to make it sound like it's my fault when you played a part in it too! You wanted no part in that accord." She exclaimed, closing her eyes momentarily before forcing everything down to calmly say. "You want the dream? You have to face the consequences. You can't have one without the other. Don't place the blame on me if you just realized that now."

They were breathing heavily by then, their exhaustion hitting them as all their emotions seemed to have burned out completely. Their argument left them in a numb state of regret, a limbo of repentance over things that are already said and done.

Even with an apology at the tip of both their tongues, neither was willing to make the first move. Too much had been said between them. Kari shook her head, moving to leave the tent.

"I don't want to lose my brother but my ambition to be king of all Norway has been what led me here. It is all I have." Harald finally said, causing her to stop.

At his words, she turned around, a sad smile forming on her lips. "If that is what you think then there is nothing more that I can do for you. You are not burdened by destiny, you are simply lost."

Regretting his words, he opened his mouth to call for her, his pride faltering at the look on her face. "Trouble, I-"

But it was too late. She had already left.

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Not knowing where else to go, Kari stumbled into the war tent.

It was the dead of night where only crickets chirped and wolves howled to signal their prowl. Everyone else was asleep or at least pretending to be asleep, no one wished to be lying awake in waiting for the dawn.

A few torches were lit around the tent and at the center was a wooden table, atop it was a map of the land and a few wooden pieces, symbolizing the troops and the vikings they would be fighting.

Funny, just a few weeks ago those pieces had only been pieces in a game and now they were lives. Lives to gamble with, to risk for a victory that was not even a sure one. If it were up to her, they would only be fighting if a victory was assured to at least appease those who would fall in battle.

As if the onslaught of thoughts hit her like a wave, Kari doubled over, retching into an open ceramic vase. After she had let it all out, she fell back, sitting on the ground as her throat began to ache. Burying her head between her knees did help some but it did not completely erase the vile taste in her mouth.

A shuffling sound emerged from the flaps of the tent, causing her to look up to see a familiar face. A bout of disappointment hit her but she managed to shake it off.

"Are you alright? I heard you getting sick." Bishop Heahmund asked, offering a small piece of clean cloth.

"I am. Thank you." She answered, gratefully taking the piece of cloth to wipe her mouth clean, thinking better of it, she rectified her statement. "Actually, no, I am not. Everything is a disaster and somehow, it feels as if it is my fault."

"I'm sure that's not true." He assured her, giving her a comforting smile as she took his hand and stood in front of him.

"Harald seems to think so." She exhaled, pouring herself a cup of water to get rid of the remaining horrid taste in her mouth.

"He is wrong. I don't think you could ever be at fault." He smiled, placing a hand on her arm.

"If only more people thought like you." She joked, chuckling at the idea. It would make things much easier but not better, that was for sure. She was not a perfect being and though she would hate to admit it, it was alright to find out she was mistaken from time to time. It prevented further mistakes in the future.

"I know you may be having doubts right now but you have no need to worry. Once the clash of battle begins, all doubts will fade away and only the fight will be on your mind. It was the same for me in my first fight." Heahmund advised, wanting nothing more than to ease her mind.

"How did you deal with it?" Kari looked up at the bishop in question. She may have accomplished much in her time in Norway but that didn't change her inexperience with warfare.

"Prayer and constant reminder of what it is I'm fighting for. Who I will be bleeding for. Who it is I will be dying for." He admitted, gazing at the woman with hopeful eyes.

Mistaking his intentions, she squeezed his hand. "You won't be dying tomorrow. You have no need to fear."

He continued, hoping that she would understand. "I'm not afraid to die for what I believe in."

She nodded thoughtfully, wondering how it must feel to dedicate one's life to their god in servitude. "I admire your faith. Truly, there is no one more devoted than you."

He emitted a deep, audible breath. "You shouldn't."

Her eyebrows furrowed, uncertain as to what he was saying. "What? What are you talking about, Your Grace?"

He confessed, clasping both of their hands together. "You shouldn't admire my faith because it is not that which keeps me here. I fight for something else, I would willingly bleed for someone but it is not my God."

She shook her head, trying to pull away. "I'm afraid I do not understand."

He implored, hoping that she would somehow see why he had been doing all this. "Surely you've somehow guessed by now, Kari. All I have sacrificed is for you. It is you I am devoted to and I hate myself but I cannot bring myself to hate you for making me forget to pray."

She opened her mouth to stop him. "Heahmund, I-"

Heahmund captured her lips into a kiss, holding her close to his body. Her eyes widened at this turn of events, disgust filling her whole being. Only a few seconds passed and he noticed how she did not move an inch. It was like kissing a statue.

Although he did not relent, she still did not react. The next thing he felt was a punch connecting with his jaw. He crumpled to the ground immediately, pressing a hand to his cheek and looking up in shock.

"Stop! Stop right now!" Kari blurted out, raising both hands in front of her defensively.

Heahmund scrambled to his feet, nearing her. "Kari-"

She raised a finger at him, warning him not to come any closer as she gave him a piece of her mind. "No, I am your queen and I will not tolerate such actions! I do not welcome it nor do I want it!"

He argued, raising his voice, his feelings coming to light. "But I care for you greatly! I-I would cherish you more than that brute you married."

Kari realized just how far she pushed this manipulation. It had gone on long enough. What started as a blow to Ivar had somehow imploded into something that was now her problem. There was nothing more to do than to end it.

She laughed at him, the bizarreness of the day becoming worse and worse. It was as if the entire universe wanted to play one big trick on her. "And I love Harald! I love him more than life and I would give everything up for him. Do you understand? I could never love anyone else."

"But does he feel the same?" He questioned, not wanting to let it go. He had already lost his heart and his soul, what else could he lose? His madness deluded him into thinking that the woman could ever feel the same way.

It was that question that caused her to falter, her heart stuttering within her chest as she thought about it. She would give it all up for him but would he give up on his dream for her? Would he simply push her aside should she defy him as Halfdan did?

"Forget all this nonsense. There is a battle to win tomorrow. Do as you have sworn. Protect my husband but never bring any of this up again." Kari waved him away, gesturing for him to leave.

Heahmund did so, his eyes tracking her as he left. He would not give up. He would prove to her that he truly cared for her then maybe she would return his affection then. The great warrior proved that while he was courageous, he was only human as madness becomes him.

Kari, finally left alone with her thoughts, did not feel the relief that she had been hoping to get from solitude. Instead, she felt numb. With all that had gone down, turning against her brothers, arguing with her husband, losing everyone she had thought she had on her side.

Nothing had changed from the time she was in Northumbria. She was still completely isolated from everyone else.

When the smoke clears and the dust settles, it still leaves her as she was before.

With nothing.

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Hello everyone!! So sorry for the late update, I was jetlagged for the longest time but now I am back!! Yayy! So this chapter unpacked a lot and there will be more to come.