The prompts are: "My heart tells me to kiss you, my head tells me to walk away", and "Please just stay with me. For one moment at least".

Warnings: fear of rejection, fear of getting hurt

When you finally reached the shore again you were happier than you had been in a long time.

You were still a little see sick, but never to a point where you actually had to throw up, so you were absolutely fine with it.

You had left your home in Mercia behind to come to another country, mostly because you were fleeing from a marriage with a cruel and abusive man, and anyone and anywhere was better than being with him.

You were in a new wild land, in contrast to the civilized Saxon home you had always enjoyed, far from people that shared your belifs, and you loved it.

You got a lot of looks for the way you dressed, like a Saxon rather than a viking, but you didn't mind it.

You had wanted a fresh start, and had been given one.

Once you sat foot in Vestfold, the village where the people that had taken you with their ship had wanted to harbour you immediately fell in love with it.

It was charming though it was very different to the Saxon villages, but it drew you in with its sincerity and closeness to nature.

Most of the houses were made of wood in contrast to the stone walls you were used to, and it gave them a charming touch.

Making your way around you let your eyes wander.

You were alone in a new world, a world that was at least as dangerous as the old one you had lived in, but you were strong and confident, and entirely sure that you would find what you were looking for, a new and better life.

It didn't take long until a man made his way towards you, with a haircut that was particularly strange.

You saw how different the viking men wore their hair from the Saxons, whereas they cared for a smooth and endearing look the vikings had a wild nature to them, something you couldn't help but fall for.

This man had his blond hair draped over half of his head, the other half had been cut off, giving his face and being an edge that instantly made you curious.

"What is a woman like yourself doing here?", he asked you in your language, and you were grateful for it.

Of course you hadn't studied norse languages so you were grateful for him speaking yours, even though you had learned a bit of it from the traders on the ship you had arrived with.

"What's a man like you welcoming me for?", you asked back and you could see him chuckling at your rather bold question.

"I am Halfdan the Black. Brother to Harald Finehair, the King of the place you stepped into. And I'd like to know what a Christian like you is doing in our home", he explained and you nodded.

It was a fair question and you felt the need to answer him, especially because you were indeed a stranger in his home.

Once you told him your name and you explained that you wanted to start a new life his eyes softened, and his posture slouched a bit.

"Anyone who's running from something is welcome to find shelter here, as long as that something doesn't come to look for you", he said with a nod of his chin, and before you could try to deny that you were running he was already out of reach.

Over the next few days you found a place to stay and even a work you could do that would pay well enough for you to keep the place you were staying in.

Some of the people were friendly to a guest that made great efforts to learn and speak their tongue, while others were as hostile as anyone could be, saying that you had to be some kind of spy sent from the Saxons to investigate their life and culture only so that they could take over someday.

It was ridiculous, you had as much to do with the Saxons now as the people in Vestfold did, only that you shared a religion and your past with the Englishmen.

You had at first thought that no one would speak your language, mostly because you had been taught to believe that the vikings were a closed off folk, which fought for themselves and against the rest of the world.

Now that you were in Vestfold you saw that the adult men, those that could have been on a raiding trip to Mercia or some other English country spoke your language, even very well so.

It didn't take long until some of the people decided that you were the perfect person to teach your language to the children, so that they had less trouble invading a land that didn't speak another language than its own.

You became a teacher, and you learned their language much quicker with the children around you.

The next time you saw Halfdan you were surrounded by children, and he was watching you interact with them intently.

He was studying you, and he had started to do so even as you had no idea that he was watching you, and as you realized that you felt a shiver run down your spine.

The kinder people of Vestfold had already suggested to find you a husband, but you had only laughed at their suggestion, thanking and denying them.

You hadn't come to Vestfold only to flee from your next engagement when the man again grew strange or abusive, so you asked them not to investigate it any further.

In the past you had had some crushes, silly ones and most of them when you had been quite a bit younger, but none had been worthy enough to follow through.

Now that you were older you had come to think that no man was worth pursuing, which had become a rule for you.

When you turned around and saw Halfdan staring at you from the docks though, you felt something you had never felt before.

It was a feeling of excitement, mixed with nervousness, and a strange calling towards the man that had so rudely welcomed you your first day in your new home.

When one of the mothers that had accompanied you saw you looking at the man she moved towards you, a huge grin on her face.

"That's Halfdan the Black. He's the brother of our King... and he's single", she explained as she nudged your elbow softly and you looked at her.

"I know", you answered her and when she looked at you quizzically you continued.

"He welcomed me my first day here", you said and the woman's eyes grew wide.

"What do you mean he welcomed you?", she asked and when you told her that he had presented himself to you and asked about your business in town her eyes only grew wider.

"He likes you", she said and ginned, and when you went to shake your head she explained what she meant.

"He doesn't talk to women. I mean he doesn't have the hang of it, he's too awkward in interactions with us, and that he talked to you was a great exception to the rule. He likes you, and that stare there says it all", she said as she grinned at you and left you standing, wondering if she was right.

When you went to a feast at the great hall you saw the blond man again, and as usual he was watching you.

The feast took hours and after some of them you felt the need to step outside, the hot air too heavy on your lungs and the stench of sweat and ale weighting you down further.

When you reached fresh air again you breathed in deeply, hearing a chuckle from your side.

"The air in there can get quite overwhelming, huh?", you heard and when you turned you were faced with Halfdan yet again.

He had come to you in dreams a few times, and you now felt too awkward to look into his eyes.

Instead you focused on his boots, because some of the dreams you had had were too intense to honestly look at him.

It was silent until you could muster up the courage to face him, looking him in the eye and again catching him staring at you.

It wasn't a hungry stare, but rather a contemplating one, and you couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking about.

Before the feast had started the women had forced you into one of their dresses, and had even managed to braid your brown hair into a hairstyle that made even you appear viking.

"You look beautiful like this", you heard Halfdan speak and you were surprised by his honesty, even though you knew the ale played a big part in it.

"You look like one of us, I like that", he continued, and though the ale helped him say what he wanted to you could see clearly how hard it was for him to talk to you.

All you could do was smile at him as you tried to think about what to say, and Halfdan seemed like he had finished talking and was waiting for an answer from you.

"I... I think so too, I like it here", you answered, and you intentionally chose to talk in his language rather than reply in English.

It sent surprise and a grin onto his face and he nodded anerkennend.

"I don't trust your intentions here", he said and you felt a sting in your chest, much like heartbreak but far less harsh.

When you looked at him you suddenly felt sad, almost hurt in a way.

"Or, I don't know, I didn't. I don't know now", he added and you immediately felt like a weight had been lifted off your chest.

You didn't know why you were sad that he didn't trust you, you should have expected it, but you hadn't.

"I just... you're not from here and I don't trust Saxons, but you're so beautiful", he continued and you decided to listen to what he had to say.

It seemed like he had to get something off his chest, and so you listened breathlessly as you waited for what would come next.

"I don't really... talk to women much? It's not something I do, I don't feel comfortable doing so, but you... I want to get to know you", he told you and whereas he had looked in front of him before he turned to face you fully, meeting your eyes as he did so.

You were entirely taken aback by his confession, especially since you hadn't expected it, but a part of you was happier than you had been in quite a long while.

When you didn't say anything you saw his shoulders sagging down, before he decided to say something else.

"I just... My heart tells me to kiss you, my head tells me to walk away", he said softly and you looked into his eye again, which seemed full of doubt if he was doing the right thing.

"I know it's stupid, but I don't know what to do", he told you and you replied by shaking your head.

"It's not stupid, for me it's the same", you said without further explaining what you meant, and he didn't ask you to.

After a short while you smiled widely and he waited for you to talk before you did so.

"Then do what you were thinking of", you suggested, though it was more of a dare than a simple suggestion.

When you saw his confusion your smile grew and you shook your head jokingly.

"Kiss me, you fool", you said while searching his eyes with yours, and before you knew it he nearly shot forward to do as you had asked.

This night you didn't return to your home but rather left with him for his, and your friends made fun of it for days of it.

In that time you didn't see Halfdan at all, and you were grateful for it.

It wasn't that he had been bad, he had been even better than you had dreamed him to be, but as soon as you had finished neither of you had said even a word, except for an exchange of goodbies as you left for your home in the morning.

You knew that he had trust issues, especially towards Saxon women it seemed, but it hurt not to know where you were standing.

Even though you were a Christian who was supposed to stay chaste until marriage you weren't, not even before Halfdan.

The days until you saw Halfdan again were excruciating even though your friends tried their best to cheer you up when they realized how you were feeling.

The next time you saw him was when you were at the market, and as soon as you saw him you stopped walking.

You were looking at him when he recognized you, but as soon as your eyes met he averted his, turning around on his heels and walking into the opposite direction.

It hurt you even more to watch him go then, and you tried your best to try and forget or get over him.

When you saw him again a few days later in the great hall you took it as your cue to leave, but when you heard him shout after you you stopped walking immediately.

Once he reached you he didn't say anything as he stood next to you, looking over Vestfold and towards the ships as he did so.

After minutes of silence you decided to leave wordlessly, but as soon as you took a step forward you felt his hand wrap around yours, keeping you in place at his side.

After another few seconds of silence he finally managed to say something.

"Please just stay with me. For one moment at least", he asked you and even though you didn't let go of his hand you grew frustrated.

He had run away from you, he had hurt you, but now he asked for your kindness?

Another few seconds passed in silence before he collected the courage to look at you, and a shiver ran down your spine at the intensity of his gaze on you.

He was conflicted to say the least, he seemed to be fighting an emotional war inside of him.

"I'm sorry", he said softly and your frustration immediately died down, leaving place for other emotions you were waiting for.

"I didn't mean to run from you but I needed time to think", he said and you felt his hand clasp yours tighter, as if he neeeded reassurance for his next words.

"I think I love you", he said and your eyes grew wide as you looked at him.

"I know, I know it's fast, and out of nowhere, but I'm not pressuring you into anything. I have never felt so much for anyone, and I've never been able to a woman as much as I have been with you", he added and your initial shock grew into a feeling of warmth that spread through your whole body.

"You don't have to say anything you don't want to say, but I at least need to ask you to give me another chance. Properly this time", he said and watched you carefully, in a way no one had ever looked at you.

It sent goosebumps all over your body and that warmth spreading through you.

"Please just give me a chance", Halfdan asked and you nodded.

He looked at you as if he couldn't believe that you were shaking your head yes, and a smile made its way onto your face.

"If you give me a second chance I'll happily grant you one", you smiled at him and moved a little further towards him, still not letting go of his hand.

The smile you had spread onto his face as well as you shared it, gently moving closer to each other.

You could feel Halfdan put his hand on the side of your face, the other oke holding you hand and you set your free one on his chest.

You were simply staring at each other, holding onto each other for minutes before you finally leaned in for another kiss.

This one was far slower than the ones you had shared before, without a rush, and it was far more emotional than before.

The fear was gone and you finally cherished the connection between you two, and even though you wouldn't have thought it possible it was even better than the last time.

When you broke apart you rested your forehead against his, breathing heavily, the smile you had on your face even stronger now.

After so much time you finally felt at home, in his arms.