Anvesha-

I stared at my father. He was busy reading a newspaper. I saw his face scrunch up at some news and then relax.

I wondered if my father knew of the battle that was taking place in my mind; the battle to talk to him or to not tell a single word to him.

"Shona? What are you thinking?" He asked me as he neatly folded the newspaper and placed it on a table. So he had noticed my shameless stare.

I just shook my head, but he raised his eyebrow in order to tell me that he didn't believe me.

I just sighed. I knew I couldn't directly tell him, so instead I chose another option. "I recently read a novel. It was about an Indian woman and a British man. At first, this Indian woman hates the foreigner but then after few incidents, she starts to feel things for him...you know, love type things." I stuttered at the end, but father didn't notice it. It was normal for me to discuss book with my father, so he probably wouldn't guess it as something otherwise.

So I continued, "And the man also felt the same about her. And then... um, they decided to marry."

My father nodded with a blank face. I was really bad at reading my father's emotions.

"I was wondering how an Indian woman was able to be with that British man? I mean, things like that don't happen."

My father let out a light chuckle. "It is true Shona, things like that do not happen."

My heart sank at his words. But then he continued, "However, in the beginning of this century, the British used to marry our Indian women. But it was either forced or through money. Now, it is definitely not acceptable. Neither of the communities would accept an atrocious thing like this."

My heart thudded in my chest as I asked him the next question. "But what about you, papa? What do you think, if the situation happens in real life?"

My father looked me with his eyebrows raised. I quickly defended myself by saying that I was just curious.

"Well, personally, no Indian woman should have romantic feelings for a British. It's outrageous. But, we know feelings are uncontrollable. I fell for your mother when I was just sixteen year old. In that case, the woman and the man should run off to another universe." My father chuckled.

My father thought this? Well I'm sure he won't feel like this if I told him that I was talking about myself. I sighed.

"What's the name of the book, Shona? I never expected a book like this to be written. It's controversial." My father prodded curiously.

I opened and closed my mouth, trying to come up with something. Suddenly, a term came up to my mind. "That Indian Woman, yes."

My father seemed satisfied with the answer as he went back to reading his newspaper. I quickly went to my room and sat down on the bed. My heart felt like it was going to explode.

There was undoubtedly a feeling of sadness which was closing in on my mind. But then there was another feeling. A feeling of curiosity, a feeling of wanting to know what it would feel like to do something which was probably never done before.

And I wanted to do it. I wanted to go up to Alexander and tell him what I felt. But after that, what would happen? This was not a famous book in which the main protagonists had a happily ever after and run off to another land where the know they would be accepted.

But I wanted to do it. The future was uncertain, but at least right now I knew what to do.

I combed my hair and put it in a neat braid. Then I smoothened my sari for any creases. Draping a shawl on my upper body, I was good to go. My college was off due to winter holidays.

I picked up my bag and then proceeded to the living room. I told my father that I had to buy a few items from the market. He nodded and handed me some money.

I wondered where I would find Alexander. He would certainly not come to King's after what happened yesterday. It was cold and I didn't expect him to come to the Forrest behind my house either.

I stood and wondered where I was going to go.

***

Alexander-

I was being sent back to Britain.

My father was angry to the point that he would not take any excuses for why I was not in my own engagement ball yesterday.

Well I didn't have any excuses anyway.

To add to the story, I was punched by Jordan. Of course, just for show but he hadn't known that the punch he threw on my face was pretty hard. He had apologized profusely as a pale purple bruise formed around me eye. I asked him not to worry.

It hurt less than the real pain in my chest anyway.

I didn't know what to think about going back to Britain. I would again have to act like a "proper man". My mother would again begin her task of finding me a suitable wife. I would have to join another school.

I was so tired. Yet whenever I closed my eyes, her face decided to present itself. I remembered telling Mat that he was crazy for believing in a fantasy that was not possible. Yet I was myself became a part of this fantasy.

A few months back, Matthew had come up to me.

" Alexander, let's talk." Matt said as he sat at the foot of my bed. It was almost four in the evening and Matthew was leaving for a cricket match for with friend. Jordan had already left.

I raised my eyebrows and folded my legs. "What is it?"

Matthew looked at me in the eye and said, "I know you feel something for that girl."

Why did everyone know but her?

My eyes widened but before he could catch it, I set my mouth in a frown as if I has heard something unpleasant. "What in the God's name are you saying?"

Matthew then rolled his eyes. "Don't act like that. I know it. I saw the way you were around her when her college came for a tour of our university."

I looked away and stared at the ceiling, thinking of what to say next. But Matthew beat me to it. "You know, I don't don't feel like that for her. You were right, it was just like a fantasy."

Mat grew red in the face and fidegeted on the bed. I knew he was speaking the truth because this was how he acted when he was saying the truth.

"Okay. That's good." I said, immensely satisfied as my "feelings" for her had just been eased off slightly.

Matthew nodded, giving me a small smile. Then he got up from the bed as he shrugged on his coat. "What are you going to do about it?"

I bit my lip, not knowing the answer to that. "I honestly don't know."

"I guess you should tell her." Matthew said as he picked a glass of water and downed it at one go.

"I think I will, when the time is right."

And now I think that I had certainly chosen the wrong time.

I threw the last item in the suitcase and then closed it. Tonight I would leave India and her.

It doesn't matter. I told myself as I stood in front of the mirror and smoothened my forehead with my fingers. Then I pulled on a crisp white shirt, followed by my coat.

The door opened and in walked Jordan. "You will be leaving soon, are you ready?" He said in a quiet voice. He was not looking at me in the eye and I knew that he blamed himself for what had happend.

"Jordan, look at me." He did. "Stop blaming yourself. What I did yesterday was not for you, it was solely for me. I don't want to marry a girl I think of as my sister." I chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. It did not work.

Jordan looked at me, clear grief in his dark eyes. "I-I am really sorry Alex."

I rolled my eyes at him as he pulled me in a hug. "Now don't get sappy with me."

He let out a low chuckle and I followed.

***