《No Fear Shakespeare-Merchant Of Venice》Act 2-Scene 2
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enters alone.
I'm sure I'll feel guilty if I run away from this Jew, my master. The devil's on my shoulder, tempting me. He's saying, "Gobbo," "Launcelot Gobbo," "Good Launcelot," or "Good Gobbo," or "Good Launcelot Gobbo"-"use your legs and run away."
But my conscience says, "No, Launcelot, calm down, don't run away."
The devil's urging me to leave. "Go away!" he says. "Run away! Be tough," says the devil, "and run!"
But then my conscience, hanging around my heart, says very wisely to me, "My good friend Launcelot, you're a good boy, the son of an honest man," really, that should be the son of an honest woman, since my father cheated on my mother. Anyway, my conscience says, "Stay put." "
Go," the devil says. "Don't go," says my conscience. "Conscience," I say, "you give good advice." "Devil," I say, "you give good advice."
If I listened to my conscience, I'd stay with the Jew my master, who's a devil. But if I ran away from the Jew, I'd be following the advice of the devil, who's the very devil himself. Certainly the Jew is the devil incarnate, and my conscience is giving me a hard time by telling me to stay with the Jew. The devil's advice is nicer. I'll run, devil. Tell me to run, and I'll run.
enters with a basket.
Excuse me, young man, how do I get to the Jew's residence?
(to himself) Good heavens, it's my father. He doesn't recognize me because he's half-blind-or more than half-blind, somewhere between half-blind and totally blind. I'll play a little game with him.
Young man, excuse me, how do I get to the Jew's?
Turn right at the next turn, but at the following turn, turn left. Oh, and then at the very next turn, don't turn left or right, but turn down and around to the Jew's house.
Good heavens, those are difficult directions. Can you tell me if a man named Launcelot, who lives with him, is still there?
Are you talking about young Master Launcelot? (speaking so no one else can hear) Watch out, I'm going to pull a good prank here.-Is that who you're talking about?
He's not a "master," sir, he's just a poor man's son. His father, if I do say so myself, is an honest but very poor man, and, thank God, likely to live a long time.
Well, his father can be whatever he wants to be. We're talking about young Master Launcelot.
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Please don't call him that, sir. He's just Launcelot.
But excuse me, ergo, old man, ergo, I'm asking you if you're talking about young Master Launcelot.
Yes, I'm talking about Launcelot, sir.
Ergo, Master Launcelot. But please don't talk about Master Launcelot, old man. The young gentleman, submitting to the fates, the three sisters who control destiny, and other branches of learning like that, is deceased. Or, to put it in plain language, he's gone to heaven.
Oh, no. God forbid! The boy was going to support me in my old age!
What am I, a cane? How could I support anyone? Don't you recognize me, father?
Heaven help me, I don't know you, sir. But please tell me, is my boy-God rest his soul-alive or dead?
You really don't recognize me, father?
Sir, I'm half-blind. I don't know you.
Even if you had your eyes, you still might not recognize me. It takes a wise father to know his own child. Well, old man, I'll tell you news of your son. Give me your blessing. The truth will come to light, and murder can't be hidden long-a man's son may hide, but truth will always come out.
Please stand up! I'm sure you aren't Launcelot, my boy.
Come on, quit fooling around. Give me your blessing. I'm Launcelot, who was your boy, is your son, and will be your child.
I can't believe you're my son.
I don't know what to say to that, but the fact is I'm Launcelot, the Jew's servant, and Margery, your wife, is my mother.
Yes, you're right, her name is Margery. If you're Launcelot, then you're my own flesh and blood. (feels the back ofLAUNCELOT's head) My Lord, what a bushy beard you have! You've got more hair on your chin than Dobbin my horse has in his tail.
Then Dobbin's tail must be growing backward. I'm sure he had more hair on his tail than I have on my face when I last saw him.
Lord, how you've changed! How are you and your master getting along? I've brought him a present. How are you?
I'm all right. But I've decided to run away, and I can't wait to get going. My master's a total Jew. You're giving him a present? Give him a noose to hang himself. He's starving me to death. You can see my ribs so well you can count them. I'm glad you've come, father. Give me your present to give to Master Bassanio. He gives his servants beautiful new uniforms.If I can't get a job with him, I'll run away to the ends of the earth.-Oh look, this is lucky, here comes Master Bassanio now.-Let's go talk to him, Father. If I work for the Jew any longer, you can just call me a Jew.
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enters with and an attendant or two.
(to an attendant) All right, go ahead. But do everything quickly. Supper must be ready at five at the latest. Make sure these letters get delivered, get the uniforms made, and tell Gratiano to come visit me soon.
The attendant exits.
Go talk to him, father.
(to BASSANIO) God bless you, sir!
Thank you. What do you want with me?
This is my son, sir. He's a poor boy-
Not a poor boy, but the rich Jew's servant, who wants, as my father will explain-
He wants very much, sir, as one might say, to work for-
To put it briefly, I work for the Jew, and I want,as my father will tell you-
He and his master aren't exactly friends-
To be brief, the truth is that the Jew has done me wrong, and that forces me to-as my father, an old man, will inform you-
I have a present I'd like to give you, sir. And I want to request that-
To make a long story short, the request is about me, as this good old man will tell you. Even though I'm his son and I'm the one saying it, this old man is a poor man-
One of you do the talking. What do you want?
To work for you, sir.
That's what we're trying to say, sir.
I know who you are. You can have what you want. I spoke with your master Shylock today, and he recommended you to me. If you want to leave a rich Jew to work for a poor gentleman, you're welcome to.
Do you know the old proverb "The grace of God is enough," sir? It could be divided between you and my boss Shylock-you have "the grace of God," and he has "enough."
Nicely put.-Go with your son, old man.-Say goodbye to your old master and find your way to my house. (to attendants)Give him a uniform that's a little nicer than the others. Make sure it gets done.
Father, go ahead. I can't get a job, can I? I can't talk well, no. (reading his own palm)If any man in Italy has a palm good enough to swear on a Bible with, it's me. I've got very good luck! Here's my life line. It shows a few wives-fifteen wives is nothing. Eleven widows and nine maids is a humble beginning for one man. It seems I'll almost drown three times, and my life will be in danger when I'm caught in bed with another man's wife! But these little lines are the escape routes I can take to get out of that one. If luck's a lady, she's good at this business. Father, let's go. I'll leave the Jew behind in the blink of an eye.
and exit.
O
Please, Leonardo, think about this (he hands him a piece of paper). These things have been bought and are ready. Hurry back here. I'm having dinner tonight with someone I greatly respect. Go now.
I'll do my best.
enters.
(to LEONARDO) Where's your master?
He's walking over there, sir.
exits.
Signor Bassanio!
Gratiano!
I have a favor to ask.
Anything.
Don't say no. Let me go with you to Belmont.
Well, if you have to go, you have to go. But listen to me, Gratiano. Sometimes you get a bit too wild, and you let your voice get a bit loud and rude. These things look good on you, of course, and to people like you and me there's nothing wrong with it. But in places where people don't know you, your behavior might seem too wild. Please, try to act a little more serious, or the people in Belmont will get the wrong impression about me, and your wildness will make me blow my chance with Portia.
Listen, Signor Bassanio, there's nothing to worry about. I'll be solemn-looking, I'll talk with respect, and I'll only swear once in a while. I'll carry prayer books in my pocket and look sweet-even more. While grace is being said, I'll be modest and say "amen"-I'll watch my manners as if I'm trying to please my grandma. If I don't do all this, never trust me again.
Well, we'll see how you act.
Okay, but tonight doesn't count. You can't judge me based on what I do tonight.
No, it'd be a shame for you to act serious tonight. I'd rather see you having fun, because we have friends coming who want to have fun. Anyway, I have to say goodbye to you now. I've got some business to take care of.
I have to join Lorenzo and the others, but we'll visit you at supper time.
They exit.
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