I sat in the room that was supposedly "mine" scrolling through the channels on the tv trying my best to stay awake.

I pulled out my phone and checked the time. 2:59 perfect. I smiled. I got up and put on my coat and jeans before sliding on my worn down chucks.

I decided against stealing anything because she hadn't done anything to me, yet. I crept towards the front door and put my hand on the door handle. The tiniest part of me wanted to stay, but I ignored the feeling and buried it deep inside.

People are trouble, your better off alone. I told myself and that was all I needed to push the door open.

"Going somewhere?" I heard behind me causing me to turn around.

"To the porch... the weathers nice out and I could really use some fresh air." I lied fiddling with my fingers.

"Mhmm, how about I sit out there with you." She eyed me skeptically. I felt like she could see right through me.. and I didn't like that.

"You sure? I mean you could probably use some sleep."

"I'm positive.. come on." She smiled and walked to the porch.

We sat outside for about 5 minutes, freezing. My jacket was full of holes and she had on her pajamas. She sat there looking at me and I just looked back.

"I think I've had enough air."

"I think so too." She replied opening up the front door allowing me to step in first.

"Now go put your pajamas back on and come downstairs." I nodded and did as told.

"You like hot chocolate?" She asked looking at the back checking the ingredients, probably making sure she didn't give me an allergic reaction.

"Never had it."

She nodded and went back into the kitchen. She came back out with hot chocolate, whipped cream, and marshmallows.

She handed me the mug and smiled. "Pick your poison." She said putting the whipped cream and mini marshmallows infront of me.

I grabbed a marshmallow and dipped it in the hot chocolate. "Be careful... it's hot." She warned and I nodded trying it.

"It's good." I smiled putting whipped cream and marshmallows on it. She smiled and made hers before turning on a Christmas movie. She turned on the fire place and we sat in front of it with our blankets.

Halfway through the movie I zoned out just in my own head. Truth is I like it here, I'm just scared. I've always been one to run from my problems. I try to stay positive, I try to act like I don't need anyone, but deep down I feel like a scared hopeless child.

What do you do knowing there's nobody who cares for you?

What do you do when you know you don't stand a chance against your problems?

What do you do when you feel like you'll never amount to anything?

I'll tell you what I do. I cry, I run from my feelings, I deny it, but at the end of the day I try to have hope.

Sadly, hope was something I'm running out of. Instead, I live with the fear of being hurt.

"You okay Mariah?" Ms.Valentine asked me.

"Yeah, I'm fine." that's when I realized I was crying. She paused the movie and turned her attention towards me.

"Nothing, I'm gonna go to bed." I said running upstairs. I didn't want to snap on her for no reason, so I left and went to "my room".

.

.

"Mariah...." I heard feeling myself being lightly shook causing me to shoot up out of my sleep ready to defend myself. I must've shocked Ms.Valentine because she jumped back holding her chest.

"Whew chile you scared me, I barley touched you, don't be popping up like that."

I laughed a little. "Sorry, I'm a really light sleeper."

"I see that. Go get dressed, I got you something to wear, there's a toothbrush and stuff on the counter. When your done come get breakfast." I nodded and made my way to the bathroom.

When I was done I went downstairs and she handed me a plate loaded with food. "When you finish we're going shopping. I've enrolled you in school for when it starts back up. There gonna work with you over the summer to make sure your all caught up."

My eyes lit up at the mention of school, but it quickly faded once I realized I won't be around long enough for that. I just nodded and ate my food, no point in have a full conversation.

I got full while eating, but I kept eating it. I don't believe in wasting food. There's people out here starving and I know the feeling of being one of those people. You never know when you'll get another meal. Plus, some foster homes would beat you if you didn't finish and I don't want to get beat.

"Mariah hun stop force feeding yourself."

"I'm not." I mumbled staring at the food trying to force myself to take another bite.

"yes you are, just give it to me."

"No I'm not, it's fine I'll eat it."

"Mariah it's okay I'll just throw it away. No big deal." she said sounding more serious.

"BUT IT IS A BIG DEAL." I snapped.

"Wait a minute young lady, no need to raise your voice." she stood up and I flinched. She looked like she realized something and her face changed. "How about i just wrap the food up for later?"

"Umm. That's fine." I washed my fork as she put the food away. I started washing the rest of the dishes but she stopped me.

"I'll clean it up, just go sit down and watch tv." she said making me furrow my eyebrows.

"Are you sure?" I hesitated and she nodded in approval. I slowly inched my way over to the living room on high alert. When I realized she wasn't paying me any mind I started watching tv. About 15 minutes later we were ready to go.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled just enough so she could hear.

"For what?"

"Yelling when you offered to throw it away." I paused and looked away. "I'm just not used to that."

She sighed. "It's ok, a lot of things are new for both of us. We'll get the hang of it over time."

"yeaa, over time." I mumbled zoning out.

We arrived at the mall and she started looking around. It felt foreign being in the mall for something other than pick pocketing. "You want to go in there?" She asked and I shrugged.

"It doesn't matter to me." I replied honestly. She took me into a random store and started browsing holding things up to me asking if I liked them. I said yes to three things under $20.

"Mariah, get whatever you want or I'll just start buying things." she said seriously.

"I have enough."

"You got 3 pairs of pants, how is that enough?"

"we can just get a pack of t-shirts, then that's it." I suggested.

"We aren't leaving until you pick up atleast 20 things." I rolled my eyes and started picking up random cheap things. I ended up with two dresses, 5 pairs of pants, a pair of leggings, 8 shirts, and 4 pairs of shorts.

We brought it and the total came up to just under $200. My eyes popped out of my head, she isn't seriously going to spend $200 on clothes right? She could eat for months with that.

"Okay now we gotta go get you some shoes."she said after she paid. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

"But I already have shoes, seee." I told her lifting my feet up.

"No offense Mariah, but those shoes are beat down your getting more."

"But they still work, so it doesn't matter."

"We aren't leaving until you pick up 4 more pairs, end of discussion."

I ended up getting 3 pairs of vans and another pair of converses. I argued that I only needed one pair but she wouldn't leave until I got four.