If I die,

I hope to see you cry.

Because your tears are showing me your love,

When I fly high just like a dove.

I wish I had the words to say,

That my world wasn't only gray.

Because when she came around the corner,

I couldn't do anything but adore her.

Her voice was softer than a bell,

I felt like heaven but I was in hell.

I know she tried to pull me though,

All she wanted from me was to pursue.

But I couldn't take it anymore,

I felt the dagger in my core.

All the words that they have spoken,

They made me feel so lost, so broken.

Mom was never there for me,

All she made me wanna do was flee.

She put the dagger in my chest,

Pulled it out and in again so that I'd never rest.

I had free time and hobbies for sure,

But for emotional pain, I'm not too immature.

They said I was too young to know,

But the abuse made me feel oh so low.

Like I was already six feet under,

But the rage made me wanna build a thunder.

I am no god, nothing like Thor,

And right now my knees are sore.

Not from praying, begging, pleading,

But from throwing myself off the ceiling.

Mommy told me slaps are hurtful,

But she didn't get that words are brutal.

So I'll just fly high like a little dove,

Flying away from my beloved.

Not my mother, not my father,

It's not like they would even bother.

They may pretend "that was my child!",

But truly I can just be recompiled.

They never cared about my art,

Mom called it ugly, she tore my world apart.

It meant so much to me,

Now I just wanna flee.

I know I am a sinner,

But fuck, I definently wasn't a winner.

Write my real name on my grave,

Not my dead name, I am brave.

24th May 2021