My knuckles are red from punching the wall enraged.

Punching and screaming into my pillow, I feel like I'm caged.

I cry salty tears until my eyes and throat feel like they're burning up in flames.

And still, I dismiss their claims.

"You're hurting yourself!" But it really isn't much.

"That's selfharm!" But I really wouldn't label it as such.

And even though I take the razor blade and let it pierce my skin,

I would never admit to doing such a gory thing.

I'm simply making myself hurt, and bleed, and scream, and cry.

"I've never hurt myself before." Maybe that's a lie.

15th January 2022