[Felix]

*~*~*

I was a shadow.

I enjoy pain. Because when I feel it –

I know it's a step taken for the one person I love.

I protect the one who doesn't protect himself. Standing behind him to scare away the monsters in his heart.

I take the hit for him because he takes my heart in his tiny hands and I know –

I am guaranteed; to be loved.

*~*~*

"Do you think I should eat the strawberry cake or the carrot cake? Maybe the chocolate one!" Skylar bounces around me while I lift my weights. Other people might find him annoying, but he is my life line. I can't let his light die out.

So, I fuel it. With copious amounts of food. Obviously.

"Cookie. I bought them all for a reason, you're going to eat them anyway." I sigh and drop the weights next to my feet.

"But you have to eat one too! I... feel bad for taking them all."

I raise an arm and flex. "I don't work out and then put fat back into my body. It doesn't work like that."

"Now you make me sound like a fat beer keg..."

"Dammit." I curse myself for making him upset, it's the worse feeling in the world to see Skylar so much as frown. It makes my heart ache. "I didn't mean it like that Skylar. Don't sell yourself short, you're a great person with a sexy body."

It was true. He did have an incredibly tempting body, lean and firm. But I'm not romantically attracted to him, he's more like my responsibility. Someone I'm willing to protect with my life.

"Oh well, guess I'll have to live with being a fat butt." He shrugs with a hearty smile while speeding up the treadmill. "This should nullify the sugar that's going to be in my belly right?"

I chuckle at his antics. God, this kid makes me so happy. I say kid but he's only 3 years younger, though his innocence is on par with the actual children he works with at his school.

Skylar is a joy to have around. We've been living together since my high school graduation because of certain... events that happened. I worked part time in university so I could provide for him. It was tough, but it's all worth it, seeing him so happy with his current job.

I can't lie and say I didn't cry when he graduated. I'm like a second brother to him.

Speaking of his brother has my blood boiling. He took everything and everyone Cookie deserved and made his life a living hell. I hated him. His parents weren't much better, giving everything Ryland wanted and neglecting Skylar.

"Beep boop boop beep. Captain McKenzie are you there, over." Skylar makes a noise resembling the cutting off of a walkie-talkie. We were walking down the side walk back home.

I knew I spotted a guy staring at Skylar's ass while he was taking a shower in the gym, the same guy is now shamelessly smirking while Skylar waves innocently at him. "Don't talk to him Cookie."

"Why? He seems nice, look he's smiling!" Skylar beams and turns back to the sidewalk ahead. He didn't notice the guy approaching us.

"He was staring at your ass the whole time you were showering. Fucking pervert..."

"O-oh! There is nothing to stare at anyway. I'm sure he's staring at you. You're much more attractive." He nodded as if approving his own comment. "Also, remember that dollar. No swearing."

"Hey there." The guy said seductively. He wasn't bad looking, but I know Skylar doesn't care about appearances, nor does he care about anything to be honest. He's demi-sexual.

"Hello! Do I know you? He said you were staring at my butt. But I'm sure you're looking at him." Pointing to me. "His name's Felix."

I grunted my discontent at his presence. The guy blushed from embarrassment, I guess he figured I was his boyfriend. I took Skylar's hand and walked away. "Hey! That's not nice Felix. Bye bye gym guy!" He huffed and slid his fingers between mine. "At least say goodbye."

"I don't like people flirting with you Skylar. You're too... innocent."

"He was just saying hi though. Oh well, I trust you." I smile down at his thoughtful scratch of the head. He jumped and wrapped his arms around my neck, effectively suspending himself in the air. "I love you so much Jelly Bean."

I snort at the nickname he had given me since I always buy him jelly beans when he was upset. But that was all when we were in high school, and I barely know him. Now I just throw him over my shoulder and climb into bed with him so he can cry and snuggle with me.

Jelly beans don't seem to work for depression.

"Love you too Cookie."

~

Ring. Ring. Ring.

Who the fuck is calling at the ass crack of dawn?

"Hello?"

"Morning Felix." Ryland... I lean over the edge of the bunk bed, Skylar was biting his blanket while cuddling a toy whale I had won him at the carnival one year.

"Skylar isn't up. Can I help you?"

"Well... I am just outside your apartment. Wanted to drop by and say hi." Say hi to my fist when it gets lodged in your jaw.

"Alright." I was still naked so I pull on a pair of briefs, taking note of the scars that litter my torso. They look pretty bad ass on me, maybe I should get a tattoo as well. I click open the door and walk away back into the room. Kneeling down next to Skylar's bed and brushing hair out of his forehead.

Any other person would say I am love struck. In a way, I was. But I just admire Skylar, he's stronger than he sells himself to be. He's been through a lot. He's endured–

"Hey. Morning... Again."

He's endured his fucked up family.

"What's up? Why are you coming into our house at 6 in the morning?"

Ryland ran a hand down his face and shook his head, "I came to speak to you. I want to... clear a question or two."

I dragged him out of our room and sat down on the couch. I can see his eyes tracing the scars on my torso. It's alright... They look badass on me.

"I like your scars. They look cool on you! Like... a super awesome warrior who's fought many wars."

A smile tugs at my lips. He really never stops loving everyone...

"So... I'm not going to beat around the bush. Is there a reason why you hate me?" Ryland scratched the back of his head. The two were clearly twins, but from their physique they can only pass as siblings. Ryland was quite a bit taller and built than our little angel. "I-I mean... I don't know if you hate me or not, you always come to the school even though you know the charity organization was going to be sponsoring and helping. So... I suppose I should ask... Do you hate me or not?"

Do I hate him? Probably.

"Depends on how you look at it. My gut says yes; rational thought says 50-50. I only ever show up because I am taking care of Skylar."

He winces when I phrase my words slightly harsher than normal. "I-I know I wasn't a good brother to him... I just want to make up for it."

Make up for it? Calling him in for weekend shifts when it's a promised day off is 'making up'. Even if it was for charity. This boy is deluded. "Well, too bad. I'm doing your job for you. Because you don't have the time of day."

Ryland winced again. "I appreciate your family for taking him under your wing and providing for him during college." Family? Damn this guy knows less than I thought. It's always been me and me alone. His shoulder slumped, "It should have been our responsibility. So on behalf of my family I thank you."

"No thanks needed."

"We've always loved him so much, and he was happy too... I just don't get why he hasn't come home, after all these years..."

That set me off.

Does depression sound like unicorn shitting rainbows to you? He deserved everything and more, yet, he was granted slaps to the face for being less smart than his brother.

I cocked my arm back and sent it winging at his face. "W-what's going –"

My eyes widen, tears instantly sliding down my cheeks as I noticed the one lying on the floor.

It wasn't Ryland.

"What the fuck Skylar! Why did you do that!" I hug him to my chest, encasing his whole body with mine. "Why..."

Why do you defend those who hurt you?

He lifted his head and my heart shattered, his cheek was bleeding from a cut, probably from my ring. I had hit the only one I cared for. What kind of monster am I?

My eyes look down at the simple metal band on my finger. Ironic how I had hurt him with something he gifted to me in the name of trust.

"Kneel down Jelly Bean! It's a coronation!" I comply. "Today I appoint you as my bestest friend and favorite person!" He takes my left hand and slides a ring on my middle finger. "Now when you flip the bird you will know not to! Because I have placed a spell on your middle finger!"

He cackles as I hug him. He didn't know,

But I was crying like a little bitch.

"Holy shit!" Ryland ran to get the first aid kit and ice. At least I hope so, or else the kid is really as useless as a pile of dog shit.

"I'm o-okay!" He wiped his eyes of tears, tears of pain. Pain that I had caused him.

"I'm so sorry..." I was full blown crying, not giving a damn about that bad boy exterior. Nothing mattered in the moment, I just wanted to take the pain away.

"Don't cry!" Skylar pushes back and smiles brightly, his right eye squinted slightly from the bruise. "I'm all okay." He stood and spun around in circles. "See? I'm good!"

His slim arms went around my back, reaching to clasp his fingers together but failing. He gently rocks me side to side, pressing butterfly kisses along my shoulder while wiping away the tears from my eyes. "I'm sorry..."

"I know you didn't mean it." He nuzzled my cheek, making me melt. "You would never hurt me on purpose. But doesn't mean you can hit other people!"

His attempt at being angry was adorable, but I can tell he was upset that I had considered hitting his brother. Even though his brother was a sack of dicks.

"You owe me one dollar." He sniffed, "You swore at me." Then giggled happily. Tears still spilling out of his eyes.

I could tell, he heard everything. Or else he wouldn't have blocked the punch for his brother.

He knew I would hurt someone.

And if it was him being hurt;

Then he knew,

That I had not meant it.

Because he wants to believe I am perfect.

I'm not.

But that's just Skylar.