[Felix]

*~*~*

Purpose.

Some see it as God's grace, something the beings higher up have destined us to do.

Some see it as a life long wish to achieve.

Some see it as an opportunity to be the best version of themselves.

What comes of it –

After one has achieved their purpose?

Do they start a new one?

Do they have a new one?

Would it be bad to live purposeless?

To the boxer,

Even though his purpose has been fulfilled;

It doesn't mean there isn't room for it to grow.

Just like humans that inevitably, grow;

Purpose evolves too,

After all, the boxer's purpose;

Is a person.

*~*~*

"Thanks for taking time out of your day for this Roman, I appreciate it." I pray to dear lord that I land this job because Skylar's been working extra hard for the two of us ever since I got fired for being too affectionate towards Skylar at my previous gym. What a bullshit reason to fire a person, honestly people need to grow eyes. Or not, I don't want people eye raping Cookie.

But he didn't need to know any of that.

"You're welcome, this is a great café, nice and quiet and in such a good looking book store too." It was the spur of the moment kind of thing, I didn't have much time to look for some place that's a reasonable distance from the school, since I wasn't expecting him to be dragged over by Skylar while I'm basically naked and Skylar is covered in pool water. And it's necessary to find a place that isn't jammed with noisy people that would likely interrupt the interview, plus, people are really nosy for no reason nowadays.

So I bring him here to Kightingale, Ryland's book shop. Or Solomon's Corner to be specific. Just the name makes me want to gag. It's so... superfulous.

We quickly get down to the interview, he looks through my resume, questions about past experiences and such. Albeit, in a very casual conversation, Roman is a very... stoic person. So casual means something along the lines of sarcastic eye rolls and very intense sitting positions with little emotions involved on his end of the stick.

He reminds me of the old Felix very much. Pre-Skylar me. The one that punches people for the lack of venting and stress relieving opportunities, also the same one that get so damn high that I won't be able to move my face muscles without seeming like I'm tearing my muscles into shreds. Though, I doubt Roman punches anyone or shoots himself up, he's a great person I'm sure. Totally not kissing up to my, hopefully, future boss inside my head right now.

"Felix. I honestly do not understand why you got fired. You have a double degree, you're a distinction scholar which landed your full scholarship for your whole university career. Is there a reason I should know?" I would've missed his question because his voice is just so damn dead it makes me go numb.

"To be perfectly honest, I think it was unfair. Skylar and I use to work out at the gym a couple times a week. Of course, we are very close and comfortable so we were bound to be closer than my other clients. My employer caught it and said it's not appropriate for the work place, and eventually just decided to fire me." I scoff, "Sounds like homophobia to me."

"I see. Well no worries there, if you must know, I swing whatever way that ass wipe thinks you swing." He comes off nonchalant, I guess it's a very open subject for him. It would be the same for me though, I'm either pansexual or bisexual. I was so deep in taking care of myself and Skylar that I never bothered looking for a partner. Probably a good thing, though I still have casual sex once in a while, it's an avenue of stress relief for me. Not the best way to approach it but sometimes boxing doesn't do me much good. Especially when it involves the nether regions. "Anyway, there's no doubt this job is yours since I don't trust any random stranger. Though, you're not far from it, the day I had spent with you is enough evidence for me to hand over the spot."

I sigh internally of relief, happy that whatever impression I had managed to make is sticking in his book of good graces. Skylar doesn't need to work so hard now... I smile to myself. It always makes me upset to see Skylar pass out at his desk, or when I'm out for the evening and I come back to a hungry and exhausted puddle of Cookie on the beanbag. Though it's cute, I can't feed off his misery in that state.

"I have 2 other employees; Johnny handles all the computer stuff plus our clients, mostly just casual drop in so you might not see him often. His girlfriend, Melissa, comes in full time from Fridays to Mondays, she leaves after lunch on the rest. I go in every day after lunch until the shop closes at 5." He leans forward, taking a sip from his coke and continues, "I'd like you to come in every day Melissa isn't in, which would be Tuesday till Thursday full time and mornings on the rest. Is that alright?"

That is a very unusual schedule for a job and it's 7 days a week but I guess it's what I have to work with. And I'm very impressed as to how he manages a whole store with that schedule, I heard his shop is growing exponentially so I'm guessing more people will be joining soon enough. At least I hope so, I don't want to get over worked and then have to quit. That'd get me nowhere. "Yes, sir."

"Drop the 'sir' bullshit. And as an employee any rentals you want to make is free. Stuff you buy would be 30% off not that there's much you would need if you're renting for free." He leans back and a trace of bashfulness passes, "If you like, those benefits apply to Skylar as well."

Humm? Is that a crush I sense? I almost channel my inner bluntness, but since this is my boss now, I'm not going to risk it. Oh well, Skylar's not getting any boyfriend or girlfriend without me approving anyway. It is evil, to think that I have power over Skylar's happiness. But that's precisely it, I don't doubt Skylar's character judgment so whoever catches his eye, I'm sure he has a great reason for it. Contrary to popular belief, Skylar is not stupid, in fact he is smarter than anyone in the communication department.

"Thank you for that, I'll be sure to take him skating when the lake freezes over." I stand and offer my hand, "And thank you for the job offer, I am very grateful for it."

He takes it into a firm handshake. Expression still dead as a rock. "See you soon, you start on Tuesday, 9:00 sharp." And with that he takes off. I sigh happily when the little bell at the door goes off, finally I don't have to wear stuffy suits and ties that inhibit my breathing.

Ryland stalks over from the second floor where his office is. "H-how did it go?" His voice is shakier than an earthquake. Am I really that scary? I can be a sweet guy too... just not often, and not to the normal demographic of humans. But can I really consider Cookie a human? He's boarder line saint and a hint of alien.

"Don't worry, I won't punch you for no reason." He shuffles closer and I notice the faint puffiness of his eyes. "It went well. Got the job and starting on Tuesday."

He pushed a smile forward, an awkward one, but a smile nonetheless. "I'm glad. You should tell Skylar; he'd be very happy."

I shrug, "He's off with Aaron, said he needed a private moment. Roman took off to get his sister, she's in Skylar's class or some shit like that." Cringing when I remember how pompous Aaron looks in the outfit he chose. Who wears that to a primary school event?

"Oh. Right." He wrings his hands together. I've never seen him this nervous before. I really am not irrational to a point of aggression at every chance given. Like, come on. "Well I guess I'll let you go, all the staff are getting ready for closeup anyway..."

Pain. That was all there is in his eyes, unlike Skylar's deep blue/ violet eyes, Ryland's were paler, more cerulean blue than anything. Yeah that's right, fuck you color theory, nailed that shit in year 8. "You know, whatever you may feel, it doesn't matter..." He looks mortified at my wording, I'm not good at heart-to-heart. "Not that it's irrelevant. Fact is, Skylar doesn't blame you for anything."

He pauses for a long minute while I pack up my documents and portfolio. I may be considered a meathead but Skylar makes me organize everything properly, and I have to say it's saved my ass on more than one occasion. "I know. I just can't put it past myself. He was so young when it all started." From the slight tremble of his fingers I can tell tears were going to be shed at some point. The only tears I know how to deal with are Skylar's, so if he's going to make me calm him down, he needs to know that I'm not good at it. At all. Do this for Skylar. He'd be pissed if you mess his brother up.

"It doesn't matter what you did. It's your damn parents that should be on their knees begging for forgiveness." I stand a little closer, hoping it would bring him comfort, but no, I'm still a scary yeti to him apparently and he backs up a little.

He turns to walk away, after he enters his office, he stops letting me step in behind him. Why did I even follow in the first place? "I'm not upset Felix, I'm fucking pissed. At myself." His tears come almost immediately after his somber confession.

"Don't go around shitting me Ryland. I know you're upset." I say a little too loud, this is going to spiral into an argument and I can already see the aftermath. My breathing calms, then I continue after shutting the door, "I don't know what made you think you are capable of taking all the blame for his broken childhood. But you're not a fucking black hole, idiot. You can't suck everything up and be fine with it!"

"I'm Ryland Cook! I'm supposed to be the perfect child, I'm already valedictorian, might as well own the biggest chain of book stores in town, marry the right girl, have kids. That's who I am Felix! That's everything I am, I'm just a pile of shit with what little success I have."

"That's what your parents want you to be. What do you want?"

"What do you mean? My opinion is invalid, isn't it Felix?"

"That wasn't what I meant ass wipe. Just... sit the fuck down." Pointing to the couch in the corner of his office, he fidgets and shifts on one end of the furniture. My fingers massage my temples, thinking about how to spill my heart out for this guy and not implode then explode, he's still denser than a vault door. You're doing this for Skylar, they are twins, you have to salvage something. "Before I met Skylar I'm just a sack of dicks that gets into fights and steals shit for fun. But I realized that isn't what I want in life, not just to have the adrenaline rush of running away from a bunch of cops." I pinch my fingers together, "I was this much away from taking the really bad drugs. I wasn't a valedictorian; I don't own 6 book stores. I was a criminal."

"B-"

"Shut the fuck up, I don't like talking, so don't make me drag this shit out." He opens his mouth then closes it promptly. "Point is, what do you want Ryland? I'm lucky to have met Skylar early, or else I would be homeless and without purpose... You don't have to tell me, you just need to think and admit to yourself that you're more than a couple of certificates and bank accounts."

Ryland doesn't speak, until the lights in the second floor of the book store flicks off, probably one of the last staff closing up. He jerks out of his trance, "I... I don't want to be a-alone." I look at him trying to decipher his Morse code of a sentence, trying my hardest not to just stand and leave the room to go punch a hole through a brick wall from his vagueness. I'm trying my best to help him but he's not helping his own case here. "I just want to be happy."

"Fine, move in with Skylar and I. Happiness, I can't help. That's Skylar's job." Brash decision, I know, almost immediately I regret it. But it's not like he can't pay his part of the rent, he's probably richer than both Skylar and I, multiplied by both our ages combined. This is just a proposal, I'm sure if it comes down to it, Skylar can just move in with Ryland. I can afford the rent on my own.

My thoughts working out the possibilities, desperately trying to make this work out as effortlessly as possible. I know how it feels to be lonely, and Ryland isn't a stranger, he's good as family. I hope this means we are on good terms, or else things are going to go down hill faster than an avalanche. Doing this for Skylar, doing this for Skylar...

His eyes are wider than golf balls at this point, but that doesn't mean the tears have stopped. So I bite back my pride and open my arms slightly, prompting him to a, surely, very awkward hug.

When he doesn't move I tug him over. It's so different from hugging Skylar. With Ryland, his grip is strong and I can practically feel his emotions shivering through my arms. On instinct I place his head on my shoulder and rest my cheek against his hair.

I guess Skylar was right, he really isn't a bad person. He was young when it all happened and he's just guilty and hurt. Plus... the hug doesn't feel too bad either.

"Thank you Felix. It means a lot for you to let me in."

"I'm only doing this for Skylar's benefit. I'm sure he will be freaking out to have you in the apartment."

"Still... Thank you." For the first time since Skylar, I let my stress and frustration subside without violence. It's like managing a boner without touching it, and waiting for it to calm itself. Vulgar analogies are my specialty. I loosen my hold on Ryland as he scoots closer, sitting on my lap as we just hug it out. He seems to be enjoying this way more than he should be. I seem like I'm enjoying this way more than I should be. Fuck. "No wonder Skylar loves hugging you..." Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"What?" I raise my pitch into another octave. He doesn't answer so I let him have the benefit of the doubt. After a while he chuckles and sniffles.

"You know. If Skylar was in here with us we would have to pay him at least 40 bucks each for swearing."

"How about you shut up and never mention this night. I'll call Skylar so we can have dinner together." He pulls back, because his hair is longer than Skylar's, it falls slightly over his eyebrows when he doesn't style it properly. It suits him.

"I feel like a total princess right now." As I pick him up with one arm, more as a joke than anything, but neither of us seem to think of it that way. I really should stop myself before I dig myself a deeper hole. My other hand dialing Skylar's number. His chuckle is different from Skylar's but then again, Skylar giggles.

"It's lord Felix! Your highness, to whom do I owe the pleasure of your phone call?" Skylar lets out a noise. Yup, definitely a giggle.

Without warning, Ryland leans up and kisses me on the cheek, I lose my hold on him for a moment but regained balance quickly, "Oh shit." I whisper.

"Such foul language! We must banish the beast!" Skylar almost screams, wherever he is I hope it's not in public. "Oh sorry, Ma'am!" He's in public. Skylar will remain Skylar.

~

Of course the mention of Ryland has Skylar very excited and he suggests that we go to Ryland's favorite Japanese restaurant. I, of course, am used to agreeing to Skylar, and it is Ryland's favorite place so he wouldn't disagree. The battle was won before it was even fought. Sometimes I question how manipulative Skylar actually is.

"Do you want the Tako-yucky?" Skylar tried his best to pronounce the foreign word, he has a slight comprehension impediment but that definitely doesn't stop him from being the epitome of try hard.

"Bambi, it's Takoyaki. And sure, it's really nice, I promise." Ryland is quick to correct his brother, almost equally as excited. Now that we have both poured half our souls into each other, I see him in a different light.

Sure, I still don't agree with him being immersed in his own endeavors to care about his brother, but he was young, and I can't blame him for that because all their parents knew was to force him to study and be useful. So I am now fully convinced that Skylar's parents are the ones at fault here, but wouldn't it be so much easier to lay all the blame on Ryland? He's right in front of me, and I need someone to know that they fucked up a very precious childhood. But alas, it really wouldn't be fair.

"Oh. Oops sorry!" Skylar sticks his tongue out. Embarrassment clear on his face but that only lasts a second. I remember the first couple of years when we were friends, he'd be very self conscious about his speech impediment, and he used to be terrible at reading, but look where he is now. A teacher, damn I'm proud of him.

We quickly order and start the numerous conversations that were to be had over dinner. Namely, what that Aaron guy wanted with Skylar. Explaining why I was with Ryland. Ryland moving in with us, and what his apartment will be turned into. Also, seemingly much less important, how my job interview went.

"So. First things first, what did that rich guy wanted with you?" I asked impassively, trying my best not to show my distaste for him.

"Oh. Aaron was really nice, he bought me ice cream and then we walked around the carnival, played a couple games and then we talked for a while." Skylar took a sip of my beer and then made a face. He is missing an enzyme that breaks down alcohol, thus causing it to stay in his system for too long, so technically he is allergic to the stuff. But one or two sips won't hurt him. He doesn't like the taste anyway. "He asked me on a date."

I almost broke the glass table.

"But, of course, I... can't love anyone." His tone is so bitter, it's like a punch to my groin. "So I suggested that we only go out as friends and if my demisexual senses tingle, then maybe we can date and stuff." He giggles, restoring his prior wit. "So yeah, pretty awesome to know someone like him wants to date me. I wouldn't date myself if I were him."

He then takes a sip of Ryland's juice, "Well, you have a natural attraction to you. I guess that is enough for Mr. Solomon." I cringe at 'Mr. Solomon' even though he is technically an employee of the rich guy, it doesn't mean Ryland has to call him by his last name out of his presence. "Oh yeah, tell him about your interview Felix."

Ryland nudges my side and he flinches away, I could hear the slight static passing through his arm. Normally it would be hilarious, but I don't know why, I think it is symbolic of something else. "Oh yeah. Roman said he wanted me to work for him. The day at the carnival was enough to convince him that I am a good enough person, thankfully."

"You are a good person." Ryland adds nonchalantly as a waiter places down a couple appetizers. I can't help but freeze at the compliment. I almost socked him in the jaw, shouldn't there be a little more sarcasm and a little less... niceness?

So being the asshole I was, I ignored it.

"As I was saying. I got accepted, and now I'm going to start Tuesday. I'll give you the schedule when he contacts me on Monday. But there are benefits that he mentioned, he kindly made the offer extend to you too."

"Oh!" Skylar bounced in his seat, "That's awesome! I'm so happy! Roman is a nice guy too, he's always angry looking but he's really gentle with his little sister. Like a big mama hen!"