[Roman]

*~*~*

"Thank you."

Two words that are spoken easily;

But never taken to heart.

The ability to feel the need to thank,

Is a blessing already, is it not?

As apathetic as a person can get, they will always know

When to say "Thank you",

Because somewhere in their heads,

They do have something to be thankful for.

And it might be right in front of them.

*~*~*

"Thank you for coming, it means a lot." Despite the fact that I have now been forced to hire 3 more people, excluding Felix, by Johnny since it's not ethical to make all three of them work 7 days a week. And I genuinely give a shit about their well being, the last thing I need is best friend, her boyfriend and drinking buddy to fall over from overexertion.

"No problem man. Skylar and his brother are coming in, they brought their own decorations to put up because Skylar is... he's Skylar." Felix says and I chuckle, the logic couldn't have been explained any better. Skylar is one of a kind for sure.

"Well the rest are in the back. Go grab them so they don't lounge around and do nothing." Patting him on the shoulder, I leave to my office.

My desk phone rings just as I shut the door, I groan and pull out my keys again. Praying to whatever is up there that this is important, or else I would be losing time trying to pry Skylar out from under Felix. I'm not going to serenade him and make him fall in love with me. He just makes me feel like I can say whatever and I needed that. The apology is a prime example.

"Good evening Roman..." Speak of the devil... Why is he calling me at this time of the day? Dose he seriously not have a job? Or is he just some façade for the real CEO. I mean I don't blame whoever thought that up, Aaron is quite easy on the eyes. But still not really my type.

"Hey." His nervous cough tells me there's something he needs to say. Or ask. "Go on, I won't yell at you on the side of the road and sob while your soul crumbles to pieces." Too far? Probably. I'm unforgiving like that, most the time I just shrug it off, but tonight I just want to act a little nicer. It's Christmas time and I'm not about to reduce a new friend into a pile of goo from my consecutive insults.

"Sorry. I just wanted to ask if you're still up for that coffee?" A slight ruffle tells me he is still at this desk, "I can come over and you know, chat. Make sure we are on good terms, I already have the whole office building's worth of people after my head, I don't want you or the others hating me."

'The others', as in Felix and the twins? Since when are us 5 a community? That just makes this complicated. "You can come over now. We are decorating for Christmas at the shop. 'The others' are here too."

"O-oh. Cool. I'll be over in 15, don't wait for me to start." The line goes dead for a couple seconds, both of us looking for words that aren't coming out. As a result, we laugh a little after we both say thank you. We didn't even say bye; it was just 'thank you'.

The 'date' that Skylar had with Aaron, wasn't exactly a date. At least the end result wasn't; the three of us just 'hung out'. We played with expensive food, talked about our lives, and went throwing spheres down an alley, I'm not going to say balls because my testicles are intact. All things people do as a 'hang out' group.

It should have been awkward between the three of us, since it was clearly a romantic effort from Aaron, he was dressed up in a suit and tie, reservation for tables, though I'm pretty sure he owned the restaurant. But let's not think about how wealthy he actually is or else that just takes away from how relatable he tries to be. Keyword there is try, I won't make a judgment as to whether he is doing good or not. I could be here till New Years rolls around.

Point is, no matter how I think about the night, it was far from awkward. I know they both made sacrifices to make me feel welcomed, and as Skylar said 'we should try and be friends.' Over the night Skylar did explain why he doesn't see it as a date, it's because he doesn't want to be unfair to Aaron, the fact that he needs a serious connection to love someone makes him feel guilty that he couldn't find Aaron attractive 'that way'. And he would rather make friends with both of us than to make Aaron feel left out from unrequited affection.

Skylar is a very mature person under all that childishness. It's an admirable quality. I can tell he knows something is wrong with the two of us, so shoving us together and being our mediator worked out for the better. Aaron and I bonded a little, not to the point of best friends but I can call him up and have a coffee, which we did make a rain check for that night, and is happening in T minus 15.

Honestly, I would have liked a little more time with Aaron, he is a mystery to me and I feel like I owe him something. As unsettling as it sounds, it doesn't really bug me to want to hang around him, I just need to know him better and if I can't accomplish that I don't think my conscience would forgive me.

Knock knock.

Since when did I have a conscience, that's the real question.

Not realizing that I have been standing stationary for the past 10 minutes, I turn around and am met with Aaron. He is wearing casual clothes, and not rich people casual, it's just... casual. T shirt and skinny jeans that aren't really skinny because he has muscular legs. How does he even find time to gym, that's beyond me. "Hi. Um... Am I interrupting something? Sorry, it's just... the guys said you're in the office... and I... I thought..." He looks back and forth between the opened door and my trademark blank face.

"No. I'm good. Thanks for coming."

"Thanks for having me." He yawns slightly at the end; he must be tired from work. "I'm sorry, just a bit busted."

"All good. We can have the coffee in here." Working the coffee machine as I pull out a chair for him to sit on at the small table in the corner of my office. After they are made, I sit across from Aaron, noticing the bags under his eyes.

"You sleeping alright?" I ask casually, expecting a 'yes'. You know, conversation starters and what not. Even though I do sound like his family doctor with that opening statement.

"Oh you know... Catching up with work for the carnival day and the book store opening and the hang out we had the other night. N-not that I'm blaming you or Skylar for anything, I needed the break. Just... the work doesn't do itself. I'm rambling, very professional for owning a company..." His tan complexion doesn't really allow for him to blush too obviously, but from the slight uneasiness I can tell he is embarrassed.

"We all have tough nights, probably should've made your coffee decaf so you can have a good night's sleep. Sorry."

"Oh no, it's fine. I still have to go back to the office tonight, have two proposals that I need to approve. And then I have to figure out staff problems because finance is apparently lacking on hands... I'll shut up." Taking a big sip of his coffee and burning his tongue, he curses and sticks his tongue out. "God Aaron, you're such a damn fuck up..."

My immediate reaction is to get him water and not make a snide comment about his self-deprecation. My true nature is changing... what will I ever do... Please note my sarcasm, it's going to be around a lot. "You good there buddy?" Handing him the water while patting his shoulder.

"Apart from my throat going through the Big Bang and my taste buds getting fried. I'm good." I smile at his optimism, for someone in such a physical trough he sure seems bright. Or maybe that's just how I see him. I am just a cynical bastard after all, anyone other than myself would have an obvious upper hand in being better.

His rambling stops as he stares up at me silently. Sometimes I hate being so damn tall because everyone looks like they want to run away from me when in reality I wouldn't even care enough to touch them. "You have a really cute smile."

I choke on air. Gasping as I intake my share of oxygen. Compliments are always welcomed, but a fair warning of at least 5 minutes give or take another minute would be nice too. "T-thanks?" I'm suddenly dreading what's to come next. Is this going to be some sappy movie trope where we lean in to kiss but spill coffee all over ourselves and bond over the burning liquid and slightly hilarious scene because people like to laugh at other people's misery? And because love is blind and goes beyond whatever sensory overload pain brings, we will fall in love, get married and have babies in a suburban house and have really hot sex in the master bedroom? "R-roman?"

As cliché as it is, doesn't sound that terrible to be honest.

"Yeah?" Already fucking up the 'I really want to care more about you' part of a movie cliché. Which explains why I'm not one of those.

"I asked if you wanted to go out, just us two." Doesn't sound too bad, now that Paris is with the parents and I have my place back to myself I'm sure going on a date wouldn't be too troublesome. "I can do, hang on..." His hands fumble with his phone shakily. Is he cold? No, better question. Should I be doing something? Like offer a coat or some romantic shit?

As he mumbles incoherent times and dates from his beyond fucked up schedule, I put my coat around him, he doesn't realize at first but snuggles into it like a puppy. It's kind of adorable, contrary to popular belief, not having a soul doesn't mean I can't appreciate puppy videos on Instagram, I love dogs, especially my ex's snow white Samoyed. His quiet 'thank you' makes me shiver. Not the most comfortable thing I tell you. "We can just have dinner at your office. I can cook."

His eyes rise from his calendar to mine, awe inspired, making me feel like a monster again. "Wha- no no, I had this planned out and everything. I was going to bring you to my yacht and then we can have a fishing trip. I'm supposed to make this work..." I can tell he is in hysteria, from stress or anxiety. Either way, it doesn't sit well with me.

"My cooking is not that bad Aaron." Placing an awkward hand on his shoulder, I really don't know how to calm someone down. Another thing to add to the 'skills I'd like to have but don't care enough to develop' list. "Plus, I'm really not into the whole high class spectrum of dating. Stuff I make might not be gourmet but I'll do the best I can."

His body crashed into mine, making me stumble backwards. What do I do now? I don't want to fuck up like last time. Guilt is not something I can handle. "You would do that for me?" So much cliché and cringe...

I tough it out, despite knowing that I'm not going to fall in love with him and have rabbit sex in the master bedroom any time soon. I just liked having someone close to me. So I hug him back.

Being a cliché isn't a problem. Just that clichés don't always make up a happy ever after, not in the real world anyway. "Sure. I can do 23rd. There's going to be a party here on Christmas Eve and I have prep stuff going on before that."

"Yeah! Sounds like a fun time, I'll make time to come for the party! And we can like... talk and stuff." His smile holds so much innocence in that one moment it made my heart burst into flames. It's not out of love that I appreciate his smile, it's admiration. How does one handle a multinational empire, work till the late hours of night and still be able to smile as if their life isn't a giant cluster fuck. I can't even smile when I'm managing a petty store compared to his.

"Cool. How are you and Skyl-" The door bursts open again, I solemnly think to myself that maybe I should put in 3 doors that lead up to my office because privacy isn't something that just happens around here. Just because I don't reprimand anyone for slamming my office door, they think it's fine to not knock.

"I heard my name!" Skylar rolls into the room, with Felix and Ryland close behind, the two of them glued together like duct tape. "Say my name, say my name! When no one is around you say baby I love you." The two behind wave their hello to Aaron while I sit and marvel at the concert Skylar is putting up for us. He has a great singing voice but his spontaneity is greater. Or lesser, either way, he's a bundle of joy, but joy isn't something I intrinsically have in my system so I give it a 5 out of 10 for effort?

"Skylar bought something for the 5 of us." Ryland says quietly, jabbing Felix to give him the bag, which earns him a scowl. He hands the bag to Aaron. And inside, in true Skylar fashion, no pun intended, are ugly... Christmas sweaters.

Oh joy!

The concert stops and Skylar bounces towards us, explaining how each sweater corresponds to each of us. Felix and I are good friends, going out for the occasional drink as friends and not employer/ employee. So I know he is a stubborn man, but the fact that he is wearing a sweater with a lazy seal under a Christmas tree astounds me to great proportions. But I have to say, him and Ryland do make a cute couple.

If they are trying to hide it, it's a terrible effort.

Aaron pulls off my jacket and his T-shirt to put on the sweater, willingly. And I conform because not conforming to Skylar's requests is a law broken. And seeing him frown the slightest bit instills an infinite loop of shame in me. If there is one thing I can't handle is guilt and oysters, that shit is nasty. While the rest of the room goes up in hollers and, not surprisingly, Christmas carols, my mind begins to wander. Looking between the four people in front of me, Melissa and Johnny joining in.

I realized, maybe I'm not that alone after all. But I've just been too stuck in my own head to acknowledge these people.

And I guess I have Skylar to thank for that. If it weren't for him, I would never have recognized.

My brain, of course, didn't let me dwindle too much on emotions or else I will either spiral into hysteria or fall into a perpetual cycle of questioning my 'what if's. So naturally I boot everyone and their mother out of my office, sounding slightly more agitated than I lead on to be. In fact, I'm not all that bothered by the commotion.

Aaron stays behind though, he's a smart man, knowing we have an unfinished conversation. "You were asking me?"

I rack my brain to try and find where I left my conversation off, dreading the answer to the question. "How are you going with Skylar?" It comes out leaning more towards jealousy, but lord knows that's just a hilarious emotion.

Jealousy gets me no where, I just fall into a bad mood thinking about all the things that I can't have. I have everything a 29 year old man needs, really. Teenage parents when I was conceived, lack of a soul, overflowing sarcasm, unending mountains of employees that annoy the shit out of me but I still have to keep them around because of contracting issues. I have it all, truly.

"Well... I don't think there is anything developing there." He adds in a chuckle for good measure. I don't blame him, it's an awkward question. "It's not like my profession really allows me time to spend with a boyfriend or girlfriend. So, it's whatever."

On one hand, I'm relived that I have one less competitor to fight against for Skylar. On the other hand, my heart goes out to Aaron, he just looks so miserable. Yeah, I know I have a heart.

The thought of that possibility kicks up my cynicism.

"I'll be your boyfriend till New Years." I suggest, unable to decipher my emotions for the CEO in front of me, therefore I make an impulsive choice. "I'm not going to beat around the bush and act like there's nothing going on here." And sure enough he blushes, visibly. "Doesn't matter what your schedule is like, I'll make something work."

"Okay." His voice barely above a whisper. Then he laughs, "I feel like I'm in high school again, with prom dates and pretend girlfriends."

"Well your pretend girlfriend is asking you on a date." I don't know how to say the rest so I just sit on my desk and lounge for a second before raising an eyebrow. "23rd? Dinner?"

~

[x]

The office is filled with fibs and lies. Ones that mask over the true intentions of the two men standing.

They don't really feel anything in particular for each other. They just know something is there. Be it a connection, a spark of infatuation, a twinge of longing. Neither one can pinpoint, nor do they really care.

They just gauge that there is something mutual. Therefore, they respect their hearts' desires.

"Sure. It's a date. Pretend, date."

As much as they want to admit there weren't.

After all, the two are now a 'they', not a 'he' and a 'him'.

"Well we better go out and help. Don't want my ass kicked before our... pretend, date."

They 'know'. And for once, their hearts exist in the immanent plane, one beating after the other. Sustaining their gratitude for each other's presence. Filling the silence with a gentle thumping of their core.

"Thank you." They say at the same time. Their laughter drawing back memories from the phone call.

Now that they have hearts, the only thing left to do is to search. Search for what it is they need, or want.

But perhaps, their lives are already standing in front of each other,

Waiting to be accepted as part of their own.