Aquarius

The sun rose, and so did I. It was time to go back to everyday life. To show people that I was okay. To smile through all the pain, just to feel like maybe I had won just one day from the cruel thing that was fate. Standing in front of the mirror, I smiled toothily, trying to look like I was okay. "Hi! Yes, I'm okay. What class do we have?" Combing my hands through my blonde hair, my shoulders drooped. I turned toward my closet, searching for an outfit, settling on a yellow dress which looked vibrant enough to hide my sadness. Sliding into the dress, my eye caught on a Polaroid taken about three months ago.

There I was, hair combed, makeup done, grinning with an arm around... him. Cancer. I turned away, tears trickling down my face. There he was, smiling with a cup of hot chocolate in his hand. He always liked an extra packet of sugar in his hot chocolate. It seemed like it was just yesterday that we were posing for that picture while Taurus snapped away. It was only yesterday that we sat together at the edge of the dock, shoes askew, feet in the water as we talked about everything and nothing at all for hours on end. Only yesterday were we listening to music, sharing earphones on the bus to school.

And now here we were, him in a grave, gone to a better place, while I was still back here, longing for the only boy who had made me feel special. A boy who, I had soon discovered, had feelings for someone else. For his best friend, Scorpio. Not me. And even though he was long gone, a part of me still wondered what things would have been like if he were still here. Would it be awkward, talking with Scorpio once the truth had outed? Would Scorpio develop feelings for Cancer? Or would Cancer just end up heartbroken?

Would I be happier if he were still around?

"C'mon, Aquarius, the bus is here!" I walked out, in a daze, not even reaching for my breakfast as I stepped onto the bus. To my surprise, there sat Leo, sulking with his arms crossed. "Hey, Aquarius," he sighed, looking depressed. I took a seat next to him. "What's wrong, Leo?" I asked. He groaned, shifting in his seat.

"I messed up. Royally."

"What did you do?"

"I... I hurt Libra. Got carried away. My ego was in the way, I wasn't thinking. I said some horrible stuff, and when she got up and tried to walk out, I grabbed her wrist and dragged her back by her dress."

"And then?"

"She punched me. I blacked out. Next thing I know, I see a lot of disappointed faces looking down at me. They send me home, tell Mama everything I did. She's so mad. Confiscated my car keys, so now I'm stuck catching the bus."

I stopped to think about what Leo had just told me. God, he was messed up for doing something like that to Libra, but the question remained: was it even more difficult having to face the one you loved, alive and well, after breaking their heart? Leo's feelings for Libra obviously went quite deep, but within the course of one nigh, he'd managed to ruin what they had just like that. Did part of him wish that he could disappear? Just... fade away?

"Well, I think's that's a really crappy thing to do, Leo," I whispered before standing up and moving. Leo sighed deeply as his friends crowded around him. "Leo, man, it's just a girl. She can't do nothin', now can she?" I balled my fists instinctively, wondering what Libra would have said if she were here, listening to all this. I watched, outraged, as Leo nodded, laughing with the guys. My anger took over me and I stood, fists still balled.

"Hey, you douches! Yeah, you too, Leo. How about you quit trashing Libra?"

"No can do, A-cry-ius!"

"GOOD ONE, MAN!"

Biting my bottom lip instinctively, I stood, facing the group of boys. "How about you sit down, shut up and just accept that you're all screw-ups and your lives will be hell?"

The bus arrived at school just as I finished talking. Grabbing my bag, I ran off, tears streaming down my face yet again. Not looking where I was going, I barreled right into Gemini, who took my shoulders, looking concerned. Next to her stood Cancer, Libra. Scorpio and Sagittarius with them. "Aquarius! Are you okay?" Gemini asked, wiping my tears.

"I... I heard, Libra, and I'm so, so sorry."

Libra gave me a small, sad smile, her head on Scorpio's shoulder. "It's okay. I know they were talking trash about me on the bus."

Scorpio frowned, looking outraged. Sagittarius began to fume. "I'm going to detach Leo's head from his body-" Libra placed a finger on Sagittarius' lips.

"Chivalry's dead, Sarge, but thanks. Hey... Is that Aries?" The short blonde walked up to us, unsmiling.

"Hey, Leebs. I'm... really sorry about Leo. And I'm also sorry for being so rude to you, throwing the bracelet at the ground..." I frowned, turning toward Gemini. "What's up with them?" I whispered.

"Sagittarius and Aries broke up because he spent all his time with Libra. And then, Aries got mad at Libra for not including her in their plans." I nodded slowly in understanding turning back toward the scene where Libra's eyes brimmed with tears. "Oh, Aries!" She threw her arms around her friend, crushing her in a bear hug. Aries smiled into her friend's shoulder. Libra stepped back, composing herself.

"Aries, I'm the one who should be sorry. You were right: I was blowing you off, and I'm so sorry." She reached into her bag, pulling out a metal bracelet and offering it to Aries. "Friends?" The blonde smiled, accepting it. "Forever." Sagittarius shifted awkwardly from foot to foot. "Um, Aries? I'm... really sorry too. Can we be friends again?"

Aries sighed, turning toward Sagittarius. "We can try." They hugged briefly, awkwardly, before stepping away from each other. I smiled. "How sweet, friends again..." I whispered to Gemini, my voice breaking. She put an arm around my shoulders, looking right at me.

"Aquarius, we both know he's gone. He's never coming back. But he always wanted you to be happy. He wanted you to live, Aquarius. So live for him, and for you. Life's too short to cry, and you know that."

I smiled weakly, leaning into Gemini's sideways embrace. "The party goes on, right?" She laughed. "The party goes on." My heart fluttered nervously as I struggled to formulate a sentence. "Gemini, some days, there's only one thing I really hope for."

"And what's that?"

"I hope that I don't lose you."

Gemini nodded. "Well, rest easy, because I'm not going anywhere."

And in that moment, life moved on, seeming to enter a state of peace.

But little did I know that my life was once again about to be torn apart, and this time by someone closer to my heart than anyone else.