Unknown

Ninety eight, ninety nine, one hundred. I finally stopped counting inside of my head and opened my eyes, the room was too bright for my taste, but I adjusted quickly. I look around the plain white room, apart from the machines and the bed, it is empty, just like how I feel inside.

"Oh baby you are awake, how are you feeling?" Asked Malik as he came in the room. How am I feeling? Am I happy? Or Sad? Or feeling murderous? I have no idea. I just know that I don't want to talk, or eat, or do anything. I just want to stay still and sleep forever, but I am not sleepy. Am I alive? I think so, since I have the devil in front of me

"Okay, you don't have to talk to me if you are not ready, I brought you some food" he said putting something on the table next to my bed. I turned my head on the other side to ignore him, hoping he will get the hint and just leave me alone. I guess the guy is not smart at all, because he sat on the chair next to my bed

"You know, I talked to the doctor, he said you are physically okay, that we can go home"

"Home? What home? The one you ruined? How can you just act like nothing happened? I lost MY baby for God's sake, just after I found out about him, I lost him. Just because you decided to cheat on me. I know this is just some contract to you Malik, but come on, have some respect for me"

"Don't you think that I feel bad too? I know I haven't been nice to you, but come on, I just found out that I could have been a father, you know what that meant for me? I never thought about it before, but just when the doctor told me that you were pregnant, I was so happy, before he told me that he was not strong enough to survive the accident. Don't you know that I am burning inside too? Don't you know that I am frustrated too Yasmin?"

He took a deep breath before saying softly "Don't you know that I wanted to be a father to our child? See him grow up? Wonder if it is a girl or boy? Whether he will have your face or mine? Whether he will be hot headed like me, or sweet and caring like you? Don't you know how bad I wanted to have a family with you?"

"You should have thought about all of this before ruining it Malik." I replied softly, just tired of all this yelling

"What are we going to do now?" He asked

"Please, let's go home, we will discuss the rest once we get there" I answered without looking at him. I get off the bed, wear the new set of clothes I believe he brought with him, being careful with my arm and followed him outside of the room, since he already got out to give me some privacy. It did not take long to see him, I will recognize his back posture from everywhere, standing tall and proud, talking to my doctor

I walked towards them and by the time I got there, he was done talking with her, and she left him standing there, he turned around with my bag in his hand and nodded at me. I did the same and we kept walking in a silence until we got in the car and drove straight to his house. I walked in, and could not really believe that I came to like it, that I actually called it home

"Yasmin, I will not get tired of repeating it, I am really sorry for what happened" he told me with sad eyes. This is really breaking my heart

"Malik, can't you just understand? Sorry is not gonna cut it. I don't know about you but I was willing to give you, us a chance. This wasn't just a contract to me, no it was more than that. Malik I loved you, and you just broke my heart, you ruined our chance of having a family, you ruined me. Don't you dare tell me that we can just have another baby, because it will not make a big difference" I yelled at him, but I realized that at the mention of baby he flinched, a tear got out of his eye , and he just couldn't look at me anymore. What the hell was happening? I am the one who was supposed to be crying right now, not him, unless,

"What are you hiding from me?" I asked him, trying to look at his eyes

"I Uhm, what is making you say that?" He asked me back, still not looking at me

"You are definitely hiding something from me, I don't know, something about a baby" After hearing this, his eyes met mines just for few seconds, but it was long enough for me to see a different emotion in them, was it shame?

"No it's nothing" he said, still not facing me

"Oh my God don't tell me that you made that woman pregnant" I asked softly as reality set in. He did not, did he? Was that the reason he was with her? Was that why he flinched, and now is refusing to meet my eyes? "Oh God, I was so stupid, how didn't I realize this?"

"What? Hell to the no, Never. You are the only woman who was pregnant with my child, and the only one who I trusted to be the mother of my children

"Trusted, the verb is in the past, what are you trying to tell me?" I asked not really wanting to think about it. Is he like asking for a divorce right now? Doesn't he want me anymore? Is that why he used the verb in the past?

" I am really sorry Yasmin" he said coming close to me and holding my hand "But the thing is the doctor tried his best, but the accident, and the pregnancy both complicated things for you, I, Uhm, you can never have a child of your own, unless a miracle happens. I am really sorry" he said softly

After hearing this, my whole world fell apart. Right now I really wish that he was talking about the divorce. I really wish he did not tell me this, I, I can not believe this. Oh how I want to choke him right now. I take my hand out of his and I just slap him, really hard without feeling any remorse. I don't know what went through me, but I just had to hit something and he was right in front of me, the perfect target

"I am really sorry. What can I do for you to understand that?" He said trying to hold me, and I just pushed him really hard

"I want you to leave, I don't want to see you for a while. I, I just want to be alone right now" I told him, trying really hard to hold in the tears, and stop my heart from bleeding

"I don't know it it's a wise thing to do right now"

He has the audacity to tell me this? This man is unbelievable

"Please Malik, just leave me, can't you just see that seeing you hurts me even more?" I said not being able to stop my tears.

"If that is what you wish, just know that I will be a phone call away if you need me, for anything at all. I just wish to see you happy" he said giving me a kiss on the forehead. He left me standing there and went straight in his room. Few minutes later, he was downstairs with a small suitcase on his hand, he just smiled at me sadly before going through the door, and it was just like the last drop that filled the vase, and just like that, I bursted into tears. What the hell did I just do?

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