I rest my hands on the bathroom sink, breathing heavily. Tempted to crash right on the floor, I move towards my bed shakily and collapse on the soft covers. It's been a few days since the meeting in General Fadhill's office, but that didn't stop Daniel from being overly sarcastic or annoying. Physical trainings are as grueling as ever. I lay immoblie for maybe ten minutes before feeling able to sit up. I don't know why, but my thoughts are immediately taken up with my father.

I try not to think about my dad too much, but lately I've been thinking about him all the time, even in my exhausted state. I feel weird about not crying for him, but I can't make myself do it. It's the longing for him that hurts the most. The longing I've managed to push away for two whole years, and it makes all my other problems a little more bearable.

Andrew Cardry was the best dad I could have ever asked for. He repaired electronic billboards and all sorts of technology for a living, and when he came home at night, he always had time for me and my brothers. My favorite memories are the ones of just him and me reading together while Mom made dinner. As I got older, our bond became stagnant because of all the boys, but he loved all of us so much.

For my 15th birthday, my father promised to teach me how to fight. I never felt I could protect myself if the brainwashing Renegades ever attacked us. I was overjoyed, and I couldn't wait to start. A week later, my father was killed in the bombing attack, and the rest of us were left with the ashes.

At the time, I planned to seek revenge on the Renegades. They took away the things I loved most, and I wanted them to pay for it. I got a job with the juvenile agency and had to press electrocution triggers countless times. I used to think I could use the prisoners to figure out the whole "Renegades" thing. I guess I was right, but for the wrong reason. It gradually became harder to hurt inmates I realized the agency tortures the human hosts, not the parasitic, brain hijacking Renegades.

I look at the clock on the wall, deciding to head down to dinner. Matt got the opportunity to take a test that could let him train on the intel tech team. I hope he got the position. Maybe then would we finally get a piece of our father back. Mom told me the night we came here that Dad was on the ITT, and hopefully Matt will be as well.

After taking the now-familiar route to the loud dining place, I scan the premise for my family. I don't find them, and the bad luck because on my way to an empty table, Daniel's friends spot me. Daniel's moment of despair is long gone because of the intense feelings I sense from his direction of the cafeteria. I bitterly hold my tongue as Daniel and his friends take notice of me.

"Hey, Ashley, give your boyfriend a little kiss."

"Damn, Fadhill, she's a hot one."

"Danny Boy, are you enjoying the view?"

"Yeah, Ashley, did he--"

"Oh, guys, I didn't get to tell you all something," Daniel says proudly over the noise of the cafeteria. "Ashley did kiss me, now didn't you, babe?" His friends laugh loudly. Too loudly.

My cheeks heat up in embarrassment. I'm going to explode. Daniel's using my one moment of weakness against me. Fine, two can play at this game.

Looking up from the floor, my spiteful mood meet Daniel's. "That kiss was out of pity, Daniel. Try not to cry next time."

Daniel's friends attack him with questions and laughs. Daniel glares at me, and I smile sarcastically, turning back around. He and I are back to normal now.

Satisfied, I take a seat far away from Daniel's table, but apparently not far enough. Facing them from my seat, I prop my elbows on the table and rest my head in my hands. Did I cross the line by throwing Daniel's deceased family into this?

I hear someone call my name, and I look up. Matt rushes over to me excitedly, John and Finn on his tail (pun not intended). "Ashley, guess what?" Matt says, confirming my guess. "I'm a new trainee for the ITT!"

"Good job, Mattie Cakes!" I tell my brother. I smile, suddenly surprised at how much he is growing up. Eleven seems really young to start working for the Renegades, but at least he won't be in direct danger.

Ignoring my nickname for him, he continues rambling out of excitement. "Yeah, I can't believe it. This is going to be so awesome!"

"I'm so proud of you, Matt," my mother adds. She lovingly feeds a spoonful of mashed vegetables to Mandy. John, Finn, and Matt continue to chatter with her as I contently listen.

As my mother joins their conversation, I glance two table over and watch Daniel talking to his group of friends. I look away quickly, scared that they might notice my stalker-like behavior. I've always had the habit of keeping an eye on the people I hate the most.

I look back at Daniel, and his bright eyes lock with mine. I visibly jump and look away. He laughs at my embarrassment. After sharing his darkest secrets with me a few days ago, you'd think that his softened persona would stick around. His eye contact reminds me of what's in my back pocket.

"Hey, Mattie," I say, still feeling Daniel's eyes on me. "I got you a present."

All of my brothers look to me, their eyes brightened. They've never received a gift before. I pull out Daniel's camera from my back pocket and wave it around for them, but mostly for Daniel to see. Matt gasps in happiness. "Where did you get that from?"

"A friend," I say, hopefully loud enough for Daniel to hear.

I hand the device over to Matt, and he expertly works it. Mom looks questioningly at me, and I shrug. I already told her about the incident in General Fadhill's office, but she didn't expect me to give the camera away.

"Thanks so much, Ash," Matt says. By looking at Matt's body language and the awed look on Finn's face, Matt definetely belongs on the intel tech team.

"I have two conditions, though," I say.

"Okay, shoot."

"You can't break it. But don't be afraid to wave it around in that blond boy's face." I nod in the direction of Daniel, who looks mildly distraught over losing his camera to a bunch of kids.

Conspicuously, all of my brothers look at Daniel. Daniel waves, concealing his real feelings. My brothers wave back. I slap my palm to my forehead.

"Isn't that your boyfriend?" Finn asks when he turns back to his plate of food.

"No, he's not," I say defensively. "Just don't give him that camera."

Matt glances at me, and we have a silent conversation. He's smart enough to realize that I didn't get that camera and my lashes from just anywhere.

"Okay, Mom, we're going outside to use this," Matt says. He finishes off a roll before getting up. With Finn and John following him, Matt leads the way outside, flaunting the camera. I glance at Daniel and see his eyes glued to the camera. He also rises from his table and follows the boys outside. I silently pray that my brothers can keep that camera away from him.

"I should get back to work," my mother says. Hoisting Mandy up, she stands.

"I'll go check on the boys," I say. I stand as well and walk outside with my mother. For once, it's actually cloudy, but humid nonetheless. I spot my brothers near the shore, and to my surprise, they're playing beach volleyball. To my dismay, Daniel is playing with them.

I look to my mother and see her smile sadly. This brings back a flood of memories. Dad used to play volleyball with us at the park. It was on an occasion like his birthday that we'd play.

"When did that net get there?" I ask my mother carefully.

"Today's June 15th," she says simply, shifting Mandy's extra weight. Dad would have been 51 today. He loved volleyball.

"I'm going to go play with them," I say. That's what Dad would want: all of us continuing his tradition.

"Thank you," Mom says, and then she and Mandy hug me. I tell her I love her, and she smiles on the verge of tears. I've never felt more love before than in that hug.

"Okay, mom, I'll see you tonight." I kiss Mandy's forehead. "Don't give Mommy too much trouble, Mandy."

I turn towards the shore. With a small sigh, my mother walk towards the daycare facility. I'm really glad that she didn't break down and cry. I know how much we're all hurt by Dad's death, but it's better that we embrace it rather than bottle it up like it never happened. Like I've been doing.

Within a few moments, the soft grass halts, and sand takes its place. I run towards my brothers and Daniel who are hitting the ball around.

"Hey, wait for me," I call to them, taking off my shoes. Daniel looks up and grins at me. Whatever he has planned is not going to be good.

Finn hits the ball over the net, and John catches it instead of hitting it. I laugh lightly and join John on his side of the net.

"Ha, I got Ashley on my side!" John yells at Daniel happily. Oh, gosh. I do not want Daniel becoming friends with my brothers.

"We'll, I've got Matt," he says challengingly. Daniel winks at me, and I roll my eyes.

John tosses the ball over the net. Finn hits it over the net with a weird spin on it. I run to the right and pass it perfectly with my forearms to Matt, who passes it right back over my head. It lands behind me with an inaudible thump on the sand.

"Make sure you hit the ball this time," Daniel yells. My brothers giggle. Even they will side with Daniel before me.

I roll my eyes and pick the ball up from the ground. I jog to the serving line and toss the ball in the air, swinging and completing a decent overhand serve.

We continue like this for a while until Daniel calls us off. I instruct Matt to watch out for the little ones and take them to Mom in the laundry room when they're done. All kids 16 and under get schooled in the morning and then they help out with various jobs in the afternoon. That means John and Finn go with Mom while Matt goes with the ITT.

I look at Daniel for directions in terms of training. By now, we would have completed weightlifting along with target shooting in the Stockyard.

"I have something different planned for today," Daniel says simply, ducking under the net and striding over to his sneakers. I pick mine up, too, and Daniel's arm brushes my leg when we bend over.

My brothers start scream-singing. "Daniel and Ashley sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

I roll my eyes at my brothers and glance at Daniel as I finish the last knot on my shoelaces. Daniel's smile is too wide for the singing to be a coincidence.

"How much did you pay them to do that?" I ask. All I receive is a chuckle.

※ ※ ※ ※ ※

okay, this chapter was great, right? props to ashley's younger siblings. i would add them to the cast list, but let's face it, that would be super creepy to be internet searching for famous little children to lure into my cast list/ kidnapper van...

oh my god, i just compared my book to a shady van. let's pretend i never said that.