Chapter 28: (some time after the dinner party)

Camila liked the quiet that had befallen the house.

Although previously she had resented it, now it was calming. Constant. The silence reassured her. It meant she didn't have to face anyone or be expected to do anything. She was in her own bubble of serenity, where she was the only ruler.

She didn't even want to think about what rumours were circulating. The pack probably assumed she was distraught. Hysterical. Trying to claw out of the tunnel that was her grief. Mourning because of the devastating and gruesome condition of the beloved Alpha.

She hadn't gone to visit him. She didn't even know when he was coming home. It was vindictive and spiteful. Camila knew that much. But it also felt so good. Too good. The revenge almost masked her guilt. Almost.

A sharp knock on the door and a cheery voice that called, "yoohoo, Luna?" Ripped her from her thoughts.

She glanced at herself in the mirror and hurried to the door. At least once a day someone had it on their agenda to interrupt her silence. This time it was Freda. Camila opened the door and greeted her with a smile. Freda had a good heart and good intentions, she just liked to stick her nose where it didn't belong almost all the time.

She was known to most as a nosey and bored 'housemate' who liked to extract all the information she could out of you, before leaving baked goods in your house... A delicious tactic that made it seem like you didn't spill all your secrets to a stranger. She was like a tenacious fly. But damn she could make a good pie.

"Hello, Freda."

"Oh, Luna. I'm so glad you're home. I thought you might be in the hospital visiting the Alpha."

She quirked an eyebrow and paused, waiting for a morsel of information. Camila didn't even offer her a crumb.

"Thank you for coming by Freda. But I was actually just about to go see him."

It was a blatant and pathetic, last-minute excuse but Camila knew that if she invited Freda inside she would never get her to leave. She'd start re-arranging the throw pillows and alphabetizing the spice rack...

"Oh, you poor dear. You must be so distraught. How is he? When will be coming home? This pack needs its Alpha you know."

Camila resisted the urge to growl at her. The pack had been doing just fine under hers and Ivory's capable hands. But of course, nobody would give her recognition for that.

"I'm not sure Freda, but you'll be the first to know." She said with a tightlipped smile.

Freda let her breathe for a few moments before bombarding her with another onslaught of questions and comments.

"You look rather put together for someone whose mate is in such a terrible state..."

"Well, I think it's important to maintain a sense of normalcy." She answered neutrally.

Camila took the pie from Freda's outstretched hands and placed it in the kitchen. With a cringing eagerness about her, Freda had decided to accompany her on her walk to the small pack hospital.

"You must miss him so much Luna, I don't know how I would even manage to leave the house without bursting into a fit of tears, if it were Rodney."

Freda looked like she was getting emotional at the thought.

Camila tried to comfort her by patting her shoulder affectionately. "Well, I'm not worried, he'll be home soon."

Finally, they neared the door to the hospital.

Freda amidst her sniffling managed to ask one more question. "Luna, they never did say, how the Alpha ended up so badly hurt..."

Time for crocodile tears.

"S-S-Sorry Freda, I just can't talk about it right now it makes me emotional."

"Oh dearie, don't cry, it's alright... I'll let you go see him now, just make sure you fill us all in the minute you have news."

"Thank you, I'll tell him you're thinking of him." As soon as she was out of sight Camila sighed in relief.

She glanced at the 'pull' sign on the hospital door. It seemed to be whispering to her. She smiled at a passerby and then looked back at the sign.

Now that she was all the way here, she couldn't exactly leave. It would just be a quick visit. She secretly prayed that Taine would be asleep and she wouldn't have to face him. She couldn't even imagine what she'd say to him.

---

Hospitals made her nervous.

The smell of disinfectant that permeated through everything. The distant coughs and groans you could hear echoing from down the halls. The fact that everything was florescent and clinical. White. Like there was someone waiting with a scalpel, ready to operate on you at every corner.

It was strange to be in a place where both life and death resided. Fighting for their weight to tip the scales. A delicate balance.

The last time she had been in the hospital it had been when Sammy was born. She smiled at the memory. One look at his little pink, screaming face and that was it. He had stolen her heart. She missed him more than anything.

Now she had been sitting in the waiting room for at least half an hour, pensive. She flitted back and forth between wanting to go his room and running back home with her figurative tail between her legs.

She caught the eye of Taine's nurse and smiled. She had only spoken to Toby a handful of times, but from what she had gathered, he was immensely caring and passionate about what he did. That's why she requested him to be Taine's nurse... That and the fact that her only other option would have been a busty brunette who was known for her excellent sponge baths. No.

"Hi, Luna, nice to see you."

"Hey, Toby."

His big, genuine smile made her feel less alone.

"Are you here to see the Alpha?"

Camila played with her necklace.

"Well, yes..but um... I haven't gone in yet." She didn't know why she was telling him this.

Despite her apprehension, he didn't judge. He just smiled empathetically and nodded like he himself had been facing the exact same problem.

He glanced at his watch and gestured to the door of Taine's room. "C'mon, I'll walk you in. I'm sure he'd love to see you."

Camila approached the heavy door and peeked through the blinds. She could just make out the outline of Taine's figure in the bed. Her heart accelerated.

Toby gently pushed her back and nodded towards the door. Once inside Camila saw that he was sleeping and she let out a breath she didn't realise she had been holding. She approached the bed cautiously.

"How is he?"

Toby checked the chart at the foot of the bed. "He's been doing well. His vitals are good and he should be home in the next few days."

Camila nodded. She looked at Taine's pale but beautiful face. He looked so peaceful it was almost unbelievable. His gentle snores tugged at her heart. She was so close to reaching out and touching his face. At least that wasn't injured or bruised. She couldn't say the same about his ribs though. Toby broke her hazy thoughts.

"His painkillers might be too strong though..He's been mumbling some strange things."

Her head snapped to Toby. "What things?"

He frowned. "I can't exactly remember, but he was saying something about you throwing things at him?"

Camila brushed her hair from her shoulders and laughed. "That is a bit weird."

After a heavy moment of silence, she rubbed her arms and walked over to the rooms thermostat. She looked at Toby for approval, "may I? He doesn't like it too cold..."

"Sure, go ahead." Toby smirked at her.

Toby did a few checks on Taine. Camila could see that it was more for her peace of mind than for any other reason. She appreciated it.

"I'll let you two have some time alone." He said goodbye before shutting the door softly behind him.

Camila fidgetted in the seat next to his bed. This was the first time she felt shameless enough to study Taine up close. He had a light dusting of freckles on his nose and the front of his hair was rhythmically lifting and falling onto his face after each breath.

Unsure of what to do with herself or what to say she paced around the room trying to work off her nervous energy. She spotted cards and flowers in the corner and resisted the urge to pry.

She found herself back in the armchair, leaning close. She could almost hear his heart. She dug in her purse and pulled out a stick of lip balm. With slightly shaking hands she twisted off the cap and put some on his chapped lips. She brushed back a few strands of his hair.

Toby stuck his head back into the room, just as Camila was about to kiss him on the cheek. "Sorry to interrupt Luna. Visiting hours will be over soon...that doesn't really apply to you, but I just wanted to tell you." He laughed.

"No that's fine Toby. I was just leaving."

He smiled, nodded and held the door open for her.

Before she exited the ward something nagged at her. "Toby.."

"Yes, Luna?"'

"Would I be able to see the visitors log for the Alpha?"

Tody grimaced and scratched the back of his neck. "I don't know if that's allowed, Luna."

"Are you sure?" She said pleadingly.

Toby sighed. "I'll see what I can do."

Five minutes later he came back with a printed list of all the visitors for the week.

Camila grabbed the page and trailed her finger down the list of names. She felt a pang of guilt at the lack of 'Camila's' and the abundance of 'Ivory's' and a few of Taine's other friends. She felt like a coward. But that's not why she needed the paper.

Her eyes widened when she saw a name she didn't recognize. It was scattered a few times across the week. She racked her brain. Melissa...Melissa Brodigan. She drew a blank.

She whipped out her phone, took a photo of the sheet of paper and then searched for the name in her online database. No search results.

Camila suppressed the nausea she felt in the pit of her stomach.

Asking around for who 'Melissa' was, wouldn't be an option. Taine would find out.

She stored the name at the back of her mind She would need to keep open ears.

On her lonely walk back she couldn't help but let her thoughts spiral out of control. Although she could ignore them for now, eventually Taine would come home.

At least he now he knew. The reason why she couldn't fully let herself be with him. After returning back to her pack with Luna Hart it didn't take her long to find out why the name Alverio sounded so damn familiar. So she didn't go to him. She broke her promise because his father destroyed her life.

She wondered what it would have been like if he had never come for her.

And so now Taine knew her reasons but he had also felt them.

He felt her rage. Across his back, on his chest. He took it. But he was also the one that pushed her to the edge. And if you poked the wolf, you'd best prepare to get bitten. Or worse.

Camila unconsciously dug her nails into her skin. Why did hurting him feel so good? Why was the guilt not eating her alive?

As she stepped into the house she spied the broken stool in the corner of the room. It was in pieces. The sharp chunks of wood were scattered in a haphazard pile. For some reason she couldn't go near it. The image of her breaking it against Taine flashed through her mind every time she tried to get close. Her nails viciously and carelessly slashing through his skin. The memory of her screams reverberated through her whole body. She didn't know how to stop herself that night. He didn't even try to stop her.

Camila felt like collapsing onto the cold floor and crying. But she couldn't. She just didn't have time. There was work to be done. She wouldn't let the pack feel the temporary absence of its Alpha. It was the best distraction.

She felt the unrest of her inner demons and took a breath to abate them. She would have to face them eventually. But for now she was alone and she was safe.