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|Mental illness isn't the right diagnose

❝I will not give up on myself, I am not the mistake they believe I am.❞

✧ she mentally curses as she runs down the stairs of her apartment building. She lives on the fifth floor, she doesn't like living there. To many stairs for her taste. The hallways are all the same. Walls painted a light gray, with few lights.

Most of them ruined, the hallway is mostly always dark and gloomy. The stairs are very old looking and made of wood, the paint is poor and cheep. It's almost all gone except for few spots of the dark gray color paint. The hallway was very normal looking, and very old.

The neighbors who live there don't mind much about the ugly hallways and the old staircase. Often she would want to complain about it, but never has she had the courage to do so. With each step she takes, the stairs crackle. Not does she pay any mind to that, she is busy worrying about other things.

In fact her mind is racing, thought here and there all around her brain. Not giving her mind a break. Most of those thoughts aren't even her own. This girl was born special. Something else, than the human race has seen or heard of. She isn't your average girl. When looked by the human eyes, she looks the normal human. But, deep inside her brain, is something that tells otherwise.

Since birth, she has been able to do things no one else can, things that should be impossible. Never has she been the normal human, that everyone thinks she is. No, this girl has the ability to read people's minds. This is something everyone thinks of at least once in their life times, and wished to have.

But, she didn't have a choice about this, she doesn't want it. For she was given a gift and something else was taken away from her in return. Her voice. When she is downstairs, panting from running down the stairs. She hears the pouring rain, this day isn't her best one. She has no choice but to go outside in the weather that the clouds have chosen for today.

Running outside isn't what she was cursing mentally in her mind, no it was where she was going that had her on the edge. The destination she will spend her whole day, isn't by her own choice. Her parents force her to go there twice in a week.

Like the rest of the world, they believe her to be a mistake, and want to make her right. She didn't choice to be born with a gift like that, and is looked upon for it. Often she would wish she wasn't born like that. She is tired of getting picked on in school, and a disappointment in her parents eyes. She is tired of being able to hear how pathetic she is in the minds of other. Blocking the thoughts others send her isn't something she is capable of doing.

Each passing person thinks something, and without even realizing it, sending those thought to her. Where, she suffers from hearing everything, every single thought. She runs to the bus station. An elderly woman is sitting on the bench inside the bus station, she is talking to her granddaughter on the phone.

The girl stands inside the bus station, waiting. Her clothes are soaking wet, as is her hair. The only clothes covering her body are her black bra and matching panties, a black hoodie and light blue jeans, that are far to big for her. The sneakers she wears are very old and worn out.

Her black curly hair is like a birds nest, never is she able to control how her black curls are. Around her neck is a simple moon charm necklace made out of silver, her grandmother had given it to her before she died. The only one who stood by her was her deceased grandmother, she loved her.

The girl felt loved by her grandmother, unlike with her very own parents who never bother to care for the girl she is. They only saw her as a mistake. She can't remember if they ever did something to prove they loved her. The clothes she wears are old and come from the lost and found at her school.

She isn't given much food, one bread slice every other day is the only food she gets.Her thin body is to small for her clothes, a normal person wouldn't notice it. Over sized clothes are in fashion, to others she is just dressing like the trend, but to herself she is a girl who is just skin and bones.

Her rip bones are very visible, and her body isn't healthy. Under her eyes hang purple bags, that never leave no matter how much sleep she gets. Her skin is pale as snow that falls in winter. The girl is always hungry, yet she knows that by eating anything other than the food her parents give her, she is only making it worse on herself.

At last the bus stopped in front of the station, few others had joined in the bus station. None dare being on the outside of it, the rain wasn't just unpleasant. It was also freezing cold, and the common cold was traveling around, catching one in a three.

Before she enters the bus, a man and his girlfriend entered the bus. While in the bus station they kissed and cuddled, seeking warmth from the cold weather. She envy's people like that, only having the cold to worry about. Their lives perfect.

The elderly woman doesn't stand up, she is waiting for another bus to come. The buses don't all go to the same place, there are many in total which go to different locations. She has gotten used to which bus she is supposed to take to get to her destination.

When she sits down in the back, she sees the man and the woman in the front. She is on her phone, while he is playing with her hair. A burning anger goes through her as she hears his thoughts. ʻWhat an ugly little bitch! I can't wait for this torture to be over with. I need the money.ʼ She wanted to smack that man in the head for playing that poor woman, she doesn't deserve that.

Her thoughts are only of the love she holds for him. The girl wishes she can do something to fix this, and make it better. But, this is out of her hands.The thoughts she hears aren't pleasant. Without her voice, there is no way she could ever tell anyone of for their own thoughts.

After all the thoughts people have inside their minds are their own, she isn't meant to hear any of them. Yet, she does. When she does catch a break she wonders why she has these gifts, to herself she is no one. She isn't anyone special, not worthy of the things she can do.

Often she thinks that there are other people that would enjoy this gift and use them better than she does. Her parents believe that she was born with a failed brain, that's why she has spent her entire childhood with doctors. Each one of them trying to fix the mistake in her brain, yet non successful.

The bus comes to a stop, and with a heavy heart she walks out into the cries of the clouds. In front of her is a tall white building, water leaks down it, like waterfalls. She has reached her destination.